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  1. - Top - End - #421
    Orc in the Playground
     
    DwarfFighterGuy

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    Dec 2014

    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 5

    @Recherché -I've been there too, but made it out in (more-or-less) one piece. This was with a retail stor, and while my department boss was awful, I was lucky enough to foster good relationships with the other department bosses. I was able to use those contacts to stand in as the reference I needed to land a better job and leave that toxic mess behind me.

    Like others have said, be honest but vague. You don't want to badmouth former employers and you don't want to seem like a drama prone type, so just state that the work environment was hostile and you felt the need to leave it.

    In my case, I stated that my skillset was underutilized by my current employer, and I was looking for a place where I could make a stronger impact.

    Hope it all works out! Best wishes for the future!

  2. - Top - End - #422
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    WarKitty's Avatar

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    Mar 2010

    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 5

    Quote Originally Posted by NRSASD View Post
    Like others have said, be honest but vague. You don't want to badmouth former employers and you don't want to seem like a drama prone type, so just state that the work environment was hostile and you felt the need to leave it.
    I don't get this - everyone I've talked to said an employee saying this would be DRAMA ALERT DON'T HIRE THIS PERSON EVER!!!
    Hail to the Lord of Death and Destruction!
    CATNIP FOR THE CAT GOD! YARN FOR THE YARN THRONE! MILK FOR THE MILK BOWL!

  3. - Top - End - #423
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Glass Mouse's Avatar

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 5

    Quote Originally Posted by Sivarias View Post
    So I want to share some good news with you guys. I've posted here before with regards to depression and lack of will to live (not suicidal).
    Oh man, that's awesome. Congrats on getting it sorted out - I hope it makes a noticeable difference!

    Quote Originally Posted by dehro View Post
    don't think of it as a legume.. think of it as a fart machine.
    on a more serious note.. I'm not quite sure what to make of it.. or even where to start giving any kind of advice.. or that it is my our place to give any other than to see someone qualified to deal with this IRL.
    Gonna have to agree here. This is much beyond our paygrade here. Talk to a professional.

    Quote Originally Posted by WarKitty View Post
    I don't get this - everyone I've talked to said an employee saying this would be DRAMA ALERT DON'T HIRE THIS PERSON EVER!!!
    Yeah, I'm gonna have to agree, frustrating as that is.

    Stealing unashamedly from Ask A Manager, how about just "I had to leave due to some health issues that have since been resolved." Stress and depression are absolutely health issues, and your new employers don't need to know any more than that. It's still risky since they won't know whether those issues are likely to resurface, but worth a try.

    There are more ideas in the comment thread here.
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  4. - Top - End - #424
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Recherché's Avatar

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 5

    I'm also wondering if there's a possible answer in the absolutely true fact that when I first signed up for my old job it was a new department and we were still figuring everything out as we went along. Our systems were a hodgepodge of code from multiple sources and we just threw everything at the wall to see what would stick. When I left it was an established entity that functioned smoothly and extremely bureacratically. The workplace culture changed a lot over 4 years and in ways I didn't always like. I enjoyed throwing everything I had out to help clients in creative ways and losing that to the steady March of paperwork was less than fun.

  5. - Top - End - #425
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    WarKitty's Avatar

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    Mar 2010

    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 5

    Quote Originally Posted by Recherché View Post
    I'm also wondering if there's a possible answer in the absolutely true fact that when I first signed up for my old job it was a new department and we were still figuring everything out as we went along. Our systems were a hodgepodge of code from multiple sources and we just threw everything at the wall to see what would stick. When I left it was an established entity that functioned smoothly and extremely bureacratically. The workplace culture changed a lot over 4 years and in ways I didn't always like. I enjoyed throwing everything I had out to help clients in creative ways and losing that to the steady March of paperwork was less than fun.
    I think something like "the job really changed from what I was hired to do, and I no longer felt I could be effective in the new role" is acceptable as a reason, although it's a bit odd after you quit with nothing lined up. But if you could provide a reason why you left it might be easier.
    Hail to the Lord of Death and Destruction!
    CATNIP FOR THE CAT GOD! YARN FOR THE YARN THRONE! MILK FOR THE MILK BOWL!

  6. - Top - End - #426
    Pixie in the Playground
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    Apr 2010

    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 5

    follow up on this.

    while speaking with a grief counselor last friday, i read goodnight moon aloud. my mother read this book to me when i was young.

    then i read a history of my mother's illness aloud, which i hadn't yet read in its entirety.

    while reading the history i cried for the first time since right after my mother died, eight months ago. it was a relief.

    yay!

    certainly, the grieving process isn't over, but by finally crying i've crossed a significant psychological and emotional hurdle.

    big, big thanks to everyone who read my original post and replied to it. i love you all.

  7. - Top - End - #427
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Mar 2010

    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 5

    Quote Originally Posted by WarKitty View Post
    I think something like "the job really changed from what I was hired to do, and I no longer felt I could be effective in the new role" is acceptable as a reason, although it's a bit odd after you quit with nothing lined up. But if you could provide a reason why you left it might be easier.
    I don't think this is a good thing to say. Adaptability is one of those good things you want in a candidate. Them basically saying "the situation changed, I couldn't do it, so I immediately quit without even having anything lined up" doesn't come off well at all.

  8. - Top - End - #428
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Recherché's Avatar

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 5

    Unfortunately I don't have many great options for reasons to tell people while I quit. And it wasn't like I quit immediately. I had been at the job for a little over 4 years and it had been drifting towards bureaucracy from almost 2 of them.

  9. - Top - End - #429
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Lizardfolk

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    Oct 2010
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 5

    Quote Originally Posted by Recherché View Post
    Unfortunately I don't have many great options for reasons to tell people while I quit. And it wasn't like I quit immediately. I had been at the job for a little over 4 years and it had been drifting towards bureaucracy from almost 2 of them.
    You can always sign up for college courses and tell people you needed space for personal development. Are you planning to dive back into working right away?
    Now if everyone could please "Sig" something along the lines of "Gosh 2D8HP, you are so very correct (and also good looking)", I think that would be good progress.

  10. - Top - End - #430
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Recherché's Avatar

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 5

    I was hoping to. I'm totally not opposed to taking a few extra classes though. Possibly even reapplying for grad school though that would be a tight squeeze time wise

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