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  1. - Top - End - #1291
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Recherché's Avatar

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 5

    So there's this combo lab and group presentation that's worth 30% of my grade for this class and the rest of my group just... isn't talking to me. One of them went on a vacation in Hawaii and the other two just aren't responding to any messages or emails from me. Maybe they're doing something over in Facebook where I can't participate. (Being on Facebook does bad things to my mental health so I try not to.) I've been trying to do my share but I have no idea if I'm getting anywhere or what's going on.

    I don't want to keep pestering people and make a pain out of myself. I've had people complain to teachers about me being too intense and driven and steamroller ING over everyone else before. But something has to give. I also don't want to complain to the instructor when it might just be that the work is going on in communication channels I can't access. Well that and I just don't want to be a snitch. I could try to do everything myself but I'm kind of wary there. I dunno.

  2. - Top - End - #1292
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    GnomeWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 5

    The thing is, if they are not answering email, that is something that you should talk to your professor about. The worst they can do is tell you to deal with it yourself. This is about your marks too.

  3. - Top - End - #1293
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Sep 2014

    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 5

    So, I have a skin condition where, basically, the skin on and near my right wrist gets really dry, cracks, and bleeds (the doctor suspects it's some kind of contact dermatitis, but we've never been able to nail down a cause/prevention routine too specifically). This is generally pretty annoying, I've seen a doctor for it, I have a quasi-working doctor-recommend plan for making it less severe by using coconut oil on it, I'm not in desperate need of specific skin-care advice at this time, etc.

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    Unfortunately, one of the current cracks is right on my inner wrist, and it looks, superficially, a lot like the kind of mark I used to give myself on my other wrist when I was much younger (about 15-20 years ago) and had a problem with self harm. I usually don't spend a lot of time trying to cover up my skin problems (nothing short of wearing fairly long gloves would really cover the whole thing up in a way that left my hand usable, and that would probably look weirder than just having skin issues), but I'm finding I'm feeling really uncomfortable not wearing all of things I used to wear to mask my arm marks back when I was worried about getting caught self-injuring (mostly I wore a lot of overly long-sleeved cardigans/sweaters at the time, sometimes fishnet sweaters and such in the summer). I'm having all of this "what if I get caught" anxiety for no reason. It's a really weird feeling.


    I don't really need any advice, I just felt the need to share that with someone, and there's just no one in my life right now that it makes sense to have that conversation with.

  4. - Top - End - #1294
    Titan in the Playground
     
    BlackDragon

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 5

    I assume the doctor has tested for and ruled out psoriasis for that skin problem?

  5. - Top - End - #1295
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Mar 2010

    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 5

    Quote Originally Posted by Recherché View Post
    So there's this combo lab and group presentation that's worth 30% of my grade for this class and the rest of my group just... isn't talking to me. One of them went on a vacation in Hawaii and the other two just aren't responding to any messages or emails from me. Maybe they're doing something over in Facebook where I can't participate. (Being on Facebook does bad things to my mental health so I try not to.) I've been trying to do my share but I have no idea if I'm getting anywhere or what's going on.

    I don't want to keep pestering people and make a pain out of myself. I've had people complain to teachers about me being too intense and driven and steamroller ING over everyone else before. But something has to give. I also don't want to complain to the instructor when it might just be that the work is going on in communication channels I can't access. Well that and I just don't want to be a snitch. I could try to do everything myself but I'm kind of wary there. I dunno.
    Can you not speak to them in class?

  6. - Top - End - #1296
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    sneakykitten's Avatar

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    eek Re: Personal Woes and Advice 5

    sneakykitty is gonna be homeless in a month. there are peoples working on it, tho they as well leaving a lot up to her, and she is overwhelmed. she's trying to get estrogen base medicine and instead ppls focus on food denying blah blahs and go, 'nope, nope, nope.' and her fam wanna have her stay upstairs all day except to clean and give massages, which is good, she loves to serve. just that as homelessness comes closer more overwhelmed and shut down she feels....

    she has some problems. like, she being diagnosed with borderline and PTSD and anxiety, gets depress and loses everything about what's going on and sees and hears ghosts, and she now hearing whispers coming from her Friend's computer as of two or three days ago. she feels like everything is falling apart. she doesn't know the right questions to ask?
    Last edited by sneakykitten; Today at 04:01 AM.
    "What did she say? What did he say? You don't listen 'cause you know everything." By Ariana Grande

  7. - Top - End - #1297
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Recherché's Avatar

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 5

    Quote Originally Posted by Chen View Post
    Can you not speak to them in class?
    The next class is when the presentation is due. This group has already been driving me crazy with putting everything off to the last minute and now it's getting much worse

  8. - Top - End - #1298
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    sneakykitten's Avatar

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 5

    Quote Originally Posted by Recherché
    I don't want to keep pestering people and make a pain out of myself. I've had people complain to teachers about me being too intense and driven and steamroller ING over everyone else before. But something has to give. I also don't want to complain to the instructor when it might just be that the work is going on in communication channels I can't access. Well that and I just don't want to be a snitch. I could try to do everything myself but I'm kind of wary there. I dunno.
    Definitely feel what you're going thru. Don't worry too much about what they're talking about in private. Just ask them maybe in a comofortable setting? In the classroom? On a lunch break? Maybe try approaching with like, making it all about them, and asking: "What can I do to make You feel comfortable to talk about what's going on?" And you shouldn't have to do everything totally alone, that's unfair. So just try to approach them and explain how You feel non-confrontationally? Umm, sorry, that may be a bad word choice.

    Like, it's okay to be scared that ppls aren't talking to You and You may fail the group thingy, maybe try opening by asking them if they were busy?
    "What did she say? What did he say? You don't listen 'cause you know everything." By Ariana Grande

  9. - Top - End - #1299
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    dehro's Avatar

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 5

    Quote Originally Posted by Recherché View Post
    The next class is when the presentation is due. This group has already been driving me crazy with putting everything off to the last minute and now it's getting much worse
    definitely try every avenue of comunication twice over the next couple of days. if they don't respond, see if you can meet them in person if you know where they live or hang out. if that fails, get in touch with your teacher/supervisor/whatever... this is a recurring problem apparently. just write to the person in charge that you can't get any feedback and don't want to risk having to deal with everything at the last minute just because your team members aren't doing their share or are not comunicating. they may still say it's your issue to solve, but you can always point out that you wouldn't have to if you had better team-mates and that you don't want to come off like a stalker or somesuch, but they really are incomunicado.
    try involving the person who went off on holiday... he can act as a go-between to put you in touch with the other members of the group even from the beach.
    Last edited by dehro; Today at 04:52 AM.
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  10. - Top - End - #1300
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    sneakykitten's Avatar

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 5

    gonna try to post about this blah blahs again, then she tries to do something else and wait and see what happens.

    1. she is facing homelessness and has no way to get to a job, doesn't know what job to do and she needs at least basic assistance?

    2. she has no real way to contact employers except thru a caregiver or something, she has no phone, bosses ignore her e-mails.

    3. peoples seem to feel an ID means absolutely everything, and they refuse to offer assistance with finding a new place to live or really anything besides therapy.

    what does she do to find a real job? anybody?
    "What did she say? What did he say? You don't listen 'cause you know everything." By Ariana Grande

  11. - Top - End - #1301
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 5

    Quote Originally Posted by sneakykitten View Post
    gonna try to post about this blah blahs again, then she tries to do something else and wait and see what happens.

    1. she is facing homelessness and has no way to get to a job, doesn't know what job to do and she needs at least basic assistance?

    2. she has no real way to contact employers except thru a caregiver or something, she has no phone, bosses ignore her e-mails.

    3. peoples seem to feel an ID means absolutely everything, and they refuse to offer assistance with finding a new place to live or really anything besides therapy.

    what does she do to find a real job? anybody?
    Assuming your location is correct, you need to get your ID issues sorted out in order to get a real job. That's why everyone seems to be fixating on this when you ask for help, and probably one of the reasons potential employers aren't returning your emails. There are specific government forms that employers need to fill out in order to hire you. Those forms require you to have ID from a certain list. Getting something that will work from those forms of ID if you don't have them right now needs to pretty much be your first priority in getting a job. Various groups that work with homeless people will probably be able to help you get a new ID if yours has been lost or stolen - this is a fairly common obstacle that people face during a period of homelessness or other similar life chaos.

    I get that, in your case, there are possible name/gender mismatch issues with your ID. That is, unfortunately, often something that it is harder to get help with and probably not something that most poverty/homelessness charities can help you out with (some would, but I don't know of any that specifically working Spokane offhand). I don't know if Spokane has a good local LGBT resource center that would be able to point you in the right direction, nor do I know how hard it is to get such documents changed in your state. (Every state has its own process. In some states is it much easier than others.) You may be stuck navigating the stressful and upsetting world of having an ID with incorrect name/gender information on it during your job search. This sucks, and I'm sorry, but it may be the situation you are in since it's easier to get those sorts of documents changed after you have some money to pay whatever the needed fees are, have a stable mailing address, and generally have the mental bandwidth to go through whatever your state's process is. There are probably people here in the Playground who have gone through the job search process with those kind of ID issues, so you can probably get some good advice on how to navigate that over in one of the LGBT threads if you ask about that specifically.

    Get a cell phone if you can. You don't need ID or a good credit history to get a pre-paid phone. When I got one, I did not have to provide any identifying information at all, since I paid cash so it required no more personal information than buying a sandwich. You can get a pre-paid phone from places like Target or Walmart for about $30, and put just enough minutes on it so that you have something that you can use for making and receiving calls about jobs or assistance programs you have applied for. I have not researched pre-paid phones for a while, so I do not know who has the cheapest deals for someone in your situation right now. The charities that work with homeless and precariously housed people may also be able to point you in the right direction here.

    You may be able to get help with your job search at the local unemployment office (even though you probably don't qualify for unemployment money since it's a form of government insurance that you earn due to your previous job). They usually have job-hunting resources and can connect you with charities focused on helping people get jobs. Again, you will need ID for this.

    Ultimately, being an adult means that you are in charge of your own life, and you just have to navigate figuring out a bunch of stuff on your own rather than having someone else take care of everything for you. Other people can give you advice, but you're the captain of your own ship and have to figure out how to steer it.

  12. - Top - End - #1302
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Griffon

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 5

    Quote Originally Posted by Algeh View Post
    Again, you will need ID for this.
    ID is a bugbear. In the UK currently you need a driver's licence or a passport. Passports are a serious PITA to get, you have to have a type of birth certificate they only started issuing about 20 years ago (that anybody can buy for anybody's birth, so it's not actually proof of anything), you have to fill in a form exactly right, and have someone who can certify that your photos are of you, who isn't a random.
    The end of what Son? The story? There is no end. There's just the point where the storytellers stop talking.

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