Personal Woes and Advice 5

[Florian]

(I homebrew-I get that part)

No, you don't. Homebrewing is a fine art and more people should get into it, really, might actually push more companies to create quality equipment and tools that can be used on the smaller production scale, but homebrewers mostly don't have to deal with the problems that come along with scale.
You want to keep the process natural and don't go the Heineken way of using powdered malt and a wort filter, your limiting factor is the layout of your lauter tun and the grain bill and type to use it - the larger, the more specific, and that doesn't have to do with optimization - if you're interested go and contact some of the top tier suppliers in that sector, say Krones and Ziemann to find out ho you profit but also lock you in when using that kind of tech to optimize your production.

So, coming back to the "No, you don't" part: A 50L 2 vessel gas cooker setup is pretty lenient and you can do nearly anything with it. Ramp that up to 50HL and 4 vessels and you don't get linear behavior.

Edit: Try something. 90% BEST Red X, 10% Chateau special B, mix of Saaz, Hallertau Mittelfrüh and Hemp at boil and later dry hopping/hemping, primary fermentation with belgian season, bring sugar to zero and remove yeast, add liquid caramel and Pret (wild yeast strain, will add that "wet horse" taste, but is able to metabolize any kind of sugar) for secondary fermentation, moving up from 5% ABV to around 7% ABV. My region is actually proud to have some major organic certified producers, and lets be honest, using hemp is really way cheaper than when going for citrus or "green" flavors.

I find your additional question curious and it makes me think that you're from the U.S.

[sktarq]

So what exactly is the problem here.

You have groups (local Party and government) that want you to try to create a style of beer that is associated with the local area.
This beer could be good but its following was vastly reduced during the era the Cold War leaving you with doubts of its ability to sell and turn a profit.
Now I figure that you can make this beer just fine if you put your mind to it. But it will take a degree of investment.
If you could make small test batches for special events for the local government to try and be seen as showing local pride that would cover any social obligation to them and could be a useful market test anyway. Setting it up as a non-store type at first (kegs at special events) would seem like the least work (developing branding issues, label design and printing etc are added costs) So I tossed that out there as an idea. I wasn't sure if it would work so I phrased it in the form a question "How hard would it be to do...."
Considering your facilities don't really work well for that (needing bottles for pasteurization and having a 100K bottle run) that option isn't really open for you and another should be found. Thus the answer to the above question is Hard.
If the investment would need to be larger (a 100K run for example) that is a significant investment for you and so if you are doing this you want to know you'll turn a profit or at least avoid a loss.
Now since you are doing this, in part, as a request to someone having them agree to buy a fair chunk of it guarantees you an acceptable risk level. They get exposure for the kind of beer they want you get a possible new product.
If the investment is going to require you to refit/expand your facility (because the equipment is less flexible at scale) then you're looking a at an even larger outlay, and a significant investment it time where you'd need to make a fair number of runs for profitability (depending on how much of the equipment can be shared). At which point I would have to ask if you would go into it with out the spur from the government. Nothing you said so far indicates it.

We also seem to using a different thing with optimization. In the case of the system you can optimize around many things. A production run size is one of those things, and the one I was focused on. But basically the amount of money, work, and time you'd need to invest to get an acceptable product (which is not just the beer itself but the work order for want of a better term). Even if making the beer itself is easy for you (which I figure you have scale problems but a load more skill and tools than me so potentially a wash) the order can be terribly inefficient by being too small, taking too long, taking a vast amount of effort needed to counteract some trait of your facility that is not suited to the type of beer etc. A small generalist highly flexible system is optimal for what I originally suggested. Your system is not that and thus not optimal for the order.

And yes I'm from the US. Lots of wine here regionally. But you didn't answer the question.
You are already making beer at a scale of 100K runs. This puts you in competition with the major brewers anyway to at least some degree. The old beer/potential new product is one you describe as a rather minor style in scale of beer production. Thus the major breweries are not overly focused on it. Why would selling a specialty (potentially niche market) beer be more of challenge to the majors? Do they take anyone making a beer style they don't dominate at this scale as a challenge? Are you at the size that any expansion will be seen as a challenge?
I don't see how this potential expansion forces you to go up against the big leagues of the industry (your words) any more than already are.

And while I admire your obvious commitment to not spiriting up your product I don't see its relevance to the question of what you need to do about this conundrum of a request between people you'd like comply with and what may be a risk on your part...I'm mostly trying to see how to minimize the risk here.

As for your recipe....looks very interesting...may have to be my next batch. Getting hemp around here can be a chore (see USA) so never tried it. But since my GF hates the alpha acids from hops might be worth a go.

[WarKitty]

This is a minor thing, but...my neighbor's dog barks all day. Literally hours of barking. But only when the neighbors are at work - once they're home he's perfectly quiet. I want to talk to the neighbors about it, or probably write a letter just because our hours are so different it's hard to catch them at home. But I feel like everything I could come up with to say sounds really rude and obnoxious.

I'm starting this from assuming they don't realize their dog is barking so much, since it doesn't seem to happen when they're home. Part of the issue as well is that they have a glass door that backs right up onto the parking lot. Which means there's always people coming and going by the door and the dog always barks at them.

[Crow]

This is a minor thing, but...my neighbor's dog barks all day. Literally hours of barking. But only when the neighbors are at work - once they're home he's perfectly quiet. I want to talk to the neighbors about it, or probably write a letter just because our hours are so different it's hard to catch them at home. But I feel like everything I could come up with to say sounds really rude and obnoxious.

I'm starting this from assuming they don't realize their dog is barking so much, since it doesn't seem to happen when they're home. Part of the issue as well is that they have a glass door that backs right up onto the parking lot. Which means there's always people coming and going by the door and the dog always barks at them.

Do you like dogs?

One time, our neighbor had a German Shepherd who would bark ALL DAY when his people were gone. We stopped by when they were home, explained to them that we thought he was lonely, and asked if we could grab him from the yard and bring him to our house when they were out.

They agreed, and whenever he would get loud while they were gone, we would go get him; and he would happily play with our dogs until his people got home.

[Grytorm]

Hello again. Short time same problems. Struggling with school (its my own fault), grappling with isolation, and worrying about the day when I am forced to confront the consequences of my inactions. The weirdest development was the choice one day while feeling low to headbutt a doorframe. That hurt quite a bit.

I have in a way slightly improved, I have become more aware of how all my problems are my own fault. That if I had talked about them months ago I wouldnt be in the situation I find myself in today. But I still am afraid to admit my shortcomings to my family and face whatever adversity comes from that decision. The dissapointment they will feel when they learn of months of deception. If I had just been hiding depression and how I haven't been taking any meds it would be one thing. But Ive been hiding my failure to complete my schoolwork. That is a real problem.

[WarKitty]

Do you like dogs?

One time, our neighbor had a German Shepherd who would bark ALL DAY when his people were gone. We stopped by when they were home, explained to them that we thought he was lonely, and asked if we could grab him from the yard and bring him to our house when they were out.

They agreed, and whenever he would get loud while they were gone, we would go get him; and he would happily play with our dogs until his people got home.

I'm ok with dogs, but the problem is I'm trying to sleep or get work done while their dog is barking his head off. I don't have the time and energy to entertain someone else's pet in addition to my own (who would almost certainly very much not appreciate having a dog around). That's actually the main problem. I understand with my schedule some noise while I'm sleeping is normal, but not hours and hours of barking keeping me up. I've got fans on and I'm wearing earplugs and it's still this loud, sharp barking in my ears that just never ends.

(I'm not exaggerating on the hours part, by the way. I've kept track and barking for an hour or two straight is not uncommon. I know dogs bark on occasion and that's a thing that happens in pet-friendly complexes, but persistent barking is over the line.)

[Crow]

Well if you can deal with your cat having to hide in a closet, or being confined to another room for a few hours, offering to have the dog could help you get some sleep; because from the sounds of it he just has anxiety from being alone (hence no barking while owners are home). Entertainment might not be necessary.

Otherwise I'm not sure what country/state you're in, but at least here in my country/state, animal services first needs to be called out to the house three times. Then the majority of neighbors within a certain distance must sign to agree that the barking is a problem. Only then is the owner required to fix the problem.

Depending on the dog, what actually works to solve the problem will vary. With some breeds, there is almost nothing which will work short of debarking.

So depending on how your conversation with the owners goes, if it doesn't work, just remember that further actions may result in the owner having to give up or abandon the dog, or force it to be debarked. Check your local laws on it.

Good luck, and I hope you are able to figure out a way to solve the problem and get some sleep.

[WarKitty]

Crow, I think you're missing the question.

The issue is, I want to talk to the owners, but everything I can come up with to say sounds weirdly rude and passive-aggressive. I can't seem to come up with a way to say it that sounds polite but still actually says that there's a problem.

I think a lot of the problem is territorial barking. The dog gets upset when people or other dogs come into its "territory." Unfortunately, the way the complex is set up, that happens all the time, because their apartment corner is on the parking lot and the shared yard for multiple buildings. Meaning any time someone is coming in from their car, or taking another dog outside, or sitting in the yard, the dog barks at them until they go away and then continues barking for some time.

Don't know how much the neighbors have noticed. There are only two residential units in my building itself - my studio apartment, and the one with the barking dog. So I share a wall with the barking dog and the room where the barking is happening, but no one else does. So there's no neighbors that are as close as I am.

Having someone else's dog in my apartment is just not an option - I'm not terrifying my pet and taking her play space away every day just so I can get some sleep because of someone else's pet. Heck even if I didn't have a pet - that's a massive, massive, massive sacrifice that I just wouldn't even think of doing for someone who wasn't a very close friend. I don't take care of stranger's pets for them unless they're paying me, and I expect to be able to decently use my own apartment without having to take unusual measures. Even if I wasn't sleeping, a dog barking fr hours like that would give anyone a headache!

[Crow]

I'm not missing the question at all. As for the question specifically, there isn't a good way to do what you want to do through a note or letter. The best way to handle this is to speak with them face to face. If you are not trying to be rude or passive aggressive, that will come through in your tone and body language in a way that can't really be done reliably in text.

That said, and what I was getting at (and what I should have been clearer on), is that it would be wise to try to come up with some solutions, just in case your talk by itself doesn't help things. What would you do to fix this dog's behavior if he belonged to you? It would be good if when you approach them, you have some solutions you can bring to the table. It doesn't have to be taking the dog into your house either; just have some ideas that they can try.

A person with a complaint who comes to the table with a solution to suggest, is far less likely to be written off as "just bitching", than one who doesn't; and is more likely to be received favorably.

I know it isn't your responsibility to get this dog's barking under control; but be that as it may, you are still the one that is going to suffer if it isn't; so taking as proactive an approach as possible is to your benefit.

[Chen]

I'm not missing the question at all. As for the question specifically, there isn't a good way to do what you want to do through a note or letter. The best way to handle this is to speak with them face to face. If you are not trying to be rude or passive aggressive, that will come through in your tone and body language in a way that can't really be done reliably in text.

This is important. Definitely do this in person if you dont want to come off as passive aggresssive. Random notes are the exact opposite in most cases.

[WarKitty]

This is important. Definitely do this in person if you dont want to come off as passive aggresssive. Random notes are the exact opposite in most cases.

My worry about in person is they're basically sleeping when I'm available, and I'm out when they're available. So it might be a long time before I could actually talk to them in person. (If I did write it would of course be signed, I wouldn't just be doing an anonymous letter.)

I think part of my worry is - I'm pretty much used to "complaining to people you don't know about things they or their animals are doing is rude no matter what." So I'm not really sure how to go about it politely without basically acting like it's not a problem at all.

I don't know what I would do if it were my dog. I've never had a dog, so I don't really know much about how they perceive the world or what you do to train them. About my only memorable encounters with dogs involve being chased and yelling at them to get them to stop chasing me, or yelling at owners who can't be bothered to control their dogs in public.

The one thing I could think of would be some cardboard over the doors, or possibly blocking the dog's access to the room where the doors are so they don't know when . But I don't really know what the layout their apartment has, and I don't really know if that's all that's triggering it or not.

[Crow]

Hmmmm, it could be as easy as them getting a kennel for him for when they are out. Of course that depends on how long they are away at a time.

On the other hand, depending on it's personality, it could make it worse.

But those ideas are a good start. Anything so you can come forward as trying to help will help them to work with you, and could help to actually solve the problem.

[Chen]

My worry about in person is they're basically sleeping when I'm available, and I'm out when they're available. So it might be a long time before I could actually talk to them in person. (If I did write it would of course be signed, I wouldn't just be doing an anonymous letter.)

Really find the time to do it in person be it a weekend or by staying up late/getting up early. Unless you have some sort of rapport with the neighbor a note is probably going to get ignored.

Be concise and describe the problem when you talk to them. You work a different shift than them and while they are out their dog barks incessantly which is disturbing you. You can make your observations that it seems to be from people coming and going near the door and see if they have any thoughts on it.

Depending on how receptive they are this may be as far as you need to go. Else next step is to determine if there are any bylaws or the like that are on your side. If so you can talk to your landlord. If not then you're kinda screwed if the neighbors are unreceptive.

[Jormengand]

I had another breakdown last night. I tried to go out, got drunk, watched people happily around me finding someone to be with. People caring about other people. People loving other people. And just me, on my own, with no-one paying me more than secondary attention.

Went home wishing I wasn't alone and just cried. The only people who really value me aren't here.

And I can't die because it would break their heart.

But if they weren't there, I think I probably would.

Walking home in the cold, my subconcious told me to give in and let myself freeze.

I had to concentrate on every step because my body refused to take them automatically.

I'm broken and I have no clue how to fix myself. All the systems that are supposedly there to help me don't. More than one of them has been designed to fail.

I'm still lost in the void because I have no idea when the mental health people will get back to me.

I'm tempted to ring them up and tell them exactly what I think of them cancelling for an inch of snow and then not getting back to me.

It probably wouldn't help.

I incidentally have no idea what I'm expecting from you guys.

Maybe sympathy. Maybe attention. I don't know.

I guess I could use either right now, in lieu of actual solutions.

[Florian]

Maybe sympathy. Maybe attention. I don't know.

It´s quite curious to read how much you apparently need other people.

[Jormengand]

It´s quite curious to read how much you apparently need other people.

I'm sure there's a reason why it's curious but I'm not up to inferring it right now. Explain?

[WarKitty]

I'm sure there's a reason why it's curious but I'm not up to inferring it right now. Explain?

I didn't get it either.

For what it's worth, attention is actually a normal desire that humans have. And I'm not sure that a call to the mental health place explaining that you've waited a long time for an appointment and you're not sure you can keep waiting would be at all amiss.

I will try to say more tonight (U.S. Eastern tonight), but I should have been in bed an hour ago and my brain is shutting down my language processing abilities.

[Florian]

@sktarq:

Massive difference in efficiency standards between the US and DE. Knowing the prices of machines and services of various suppliers, that´s not really something to wonder about (as in, we don't generally deal with anything we deem inefficient, but then again our lowest rung of equipment offers top notch efficiency for its price - that's why me talking about a 30HL/100K minimum sounds big to you, while it´s just a bare 5HL over the entry minimum.)

The historical tidbits plays a role here. The former DDR was behind the iron curtain and needed to make do with as much local resource as they could. They managed to standardize beer production to a level that would even put Anheuser-Busch to shame and set the standard for tens of millons of beer drinkers for decades. Major breweries suffer from that even today, by being indistinguishable from another. That is my conundrum. Both beer styles in question have been "mistreated" to the point that the regular customer only knows one, and only one, specific variant of it. It´s like people have been fed s**t along with their pasta so long, they don't accept non-s**t-tasting paste anymore and also demand more of the brown stuff.

I'm sure there's a reason why it's curious but I'm not up to inferring it right now. Explain?

Reading your posts, especially when in a bad phase, gives the impression that you more or less don't exist and are unimportant, while the only thing that matters are perception and feedback from others.

[AuthorGirl]

I had another breakdown last night.

That, on its own, would be enough of a reason to start really pushing the mental health people to do their jobs.

Went home wishing I wasn't alone and just cried. The only people who really value me aren't here.

And I can't die because it would break their heart.

But if they weren't there, I think I probably would.

That would be enough on its own too.

Walking home in the cold, my subconcious told me to give in and let myself freeze.

I had to concentrate on every step because my body refused to take them automatically.

Same with that.

I'm broken and I have no clue how to fix myself. All the systems that are supposedly there to help me don't. More than one of them has been designed to fail.

I'm still lost in the void because I have no idea when the mental health people will get back to me.

I'm tempted to ring them up and tell them exactly what I think of them cancelling for an inch of snow and then not getting back to me.

Do that. I'm serious. Call one of your SOs and ask them to do the talking/yelling if you're not up to it. The mental health people are not giving you the help you need, and you have every right to bother them relentlessly until they do their jobs.

I incidentally have no idea what I'm expecting from you guys.

Maybe sympathy. Maybe attention. I don't know.

I guess I could use either right now, in lieu of actual solutions.

That's fine. If you had everything pinned down and sorted out, you wouldn't need to be here.

For what it's worth, you have sympathy from me, and I really hope things improve for you ASAP. I'd advocate for you if I could, but I'm in no position to try - not enough knowledge or age, and I'm not in the right place. Please start harrying the people who are in a position to help and whose literal job it is to try.

[Algeh]

@sktarq:

Massive difference in efficiency standards between the US and DE. Knowing the prices of machines and services of various suppliers, that´s not really something to wonder about (as in, we don't generally deal with anything we deem inefficient, but then again our lowest rung of equipment offers top notch efficiency for its price - that's why me talking about a 30HL/100K minimum sounds big to you, while it´s just a bare 5HL over the entry minimum.)

The historical tidbits plays a role here. The former DDR was behind the iron curtain and needed to make do with as much local resource as they could. They managed to standardize beer production to a level that would even put Anheuser-Busch to shame and set the standard for tens of millons of beer drinkers for decades. Major breweries suffer from that even today, by being indistinguishable from another. That is my conundrum. Both beer styles in question have been "mistreated" to the point that the regular customer only knows one, and only one, specific variant of it. It´s like people have been fed s**t along with their pasta so long, they don't accept non-s**t-tasting paste anymore and also demand more of the brown stuff.

Yeah, it sounds like this is one of those "different places do it differently" communication problems. Here in my part of the USA (Pacific Northwest), there are tons of tiny breweries, and most of them are constantly tinkering with recipes and doing small batches of experimental stuff (most of which only get distributed in kegs/on tap rather than in bottles). The next tier up still do some small runs and specialty batches for festivals and stuff in addition to their staples. The few really large brewing companies don't do so directly (as far as I know), but anybody small enough not be a national/multi-national probably does some experimental kegs or limited bottle/can runs. (This is partially because the nationals bought the regionals, so you're either small or huge. The nationals also have their own "craft" brew divisions, generally created by buying up craft breweries, which as far I know do continue to also put out small runs of various experimental things, so the nationals do also create such things through subsidiaries.) It'd be pretty reasonable for a local government or political party to try to convince one of the craft brewers to do a special style for some events or tourism since they all do special styles for festivals and things already. (We lack a traditional location-specific beer style, of course, but if we did have one the likely way local politicians would encourage brewers to make it would be to declare that there would be a festival devoted to it and start taking entries.)

It's rare at many bars around here to even have the same beers on tap consistently. A lot of them have 6-8 taps and just aim for keeping a range of styles available but have different specific beers from different breweries each time they blow a keg and need a replacement. Some do this through a thoughtful program of sampling and special ordering, and others do this by getting whatever the distributor has available on their truck that day. Places affiliated with a specific brewery will of course tend to have a variety of that brewery's beers, but even then which specific ones they have vary seasonally or on whims (or if they have a few kegs of whatever they made for a festival left over). Most small breweries make a variety of styles, although they pretty much all have an IPA since everybody but me seems to mostly drink those.

Of course, our local beer drinkers are willing to pay a price premium over the larger brands to get the craft beers, which means the craft brewers can be less efficient and still stay in business.

(As a side note, I have no idea if our beers are usually pasteurized or not. I think not, but none of the 4 different kinds of beer bottles from different brewers I had handy said one way or the other. One did say that they add yeast for bottle conditioning and gave advice on how long you can/should store it, which seems like it would be really futile if done before pasteurizing, but that could work in the other order like yogurt I suppose.)

I suppose the thing your local government could do if they were really invested in the idea of bringing back the local style would be to have a "beer experimentation lab" set up similar to a craft brewery for the purpose of being able to make small runs, since it's not something that makes any sense to do with your actual brewery's equipment. Or, since the idea was to attract tourists and promote a regional style, to have something set up with extra funding from the tourism board as an "old style" brewery with educational tours that similarly wasn't expected to compete on pure economics but rather as part of attracting tourists. (A lot of our breweries here give tours, and you can even go on multi-brewery tours organized by the local tourism boards where you do things like collect stamps saying you've visited all 10 participating breweries and turn in your sheet at the tourism office for a free pint glass or something. I have no idea if this is a thing where you are.)

[S@tanicoaldo]

So I just got out of a weird relationship, his family didn't see me as a good influence and we really liked each other but I just didn't wanted to deal with that.

I got myself a new relationship, I had a huge crush with my new neighbor and after going out with him for some weeks he made me a very out there proposal.

Anyway he's nice, hot bod and great tastes, he's kind of spoiled he works for his father and gets tons of money for a job he doesn't love or care.

He's also an artist great painter and photographer, three weeks ago I found some boreal lights photos he took and said how much I loved them and my dream was to see them in real life.

Yesterday he said he's planning on taking a trip to take some new photos of it and invited me to go with him, I would love to and I can take a time off from work but... Everything seems so fast, I mean I like him and it's one of my dreams but I'm not sure if I'm in the mood for that, he's not sure if it's the right season for that but still he went out of his way to make a trip for us and I'm not sure if I like that, I don't like when people just go and do things without telling me.

Besides he said it's not all fun since you have to stay out in the cold for hours and if there are clouds you won't be able to see so... I don't know what would you guys do if you guys were me?

[AMFV]

besides he said it's not all fun since you have to stay out in the cold for hours and if there are clouds you won't be able to see so... I don't know what would you guys do if you guys were me?
Oh and I’ll be paying it.

Well I guess the question is how much do you mind staying out in the cold? I mean were it me, I wouldn't mind that, but if you do then that's a big deal. And I also don't mind disappointing things if it goes that way. But if that bothers you, then it'd be a rough situation.

I wouldn't stress too much over paying. If you want to go, go. If not, don't. But if you've been seeing him for less than a few months then expecting him to pay for a vacation would be a bit much.

[S@tanicoaldo]

Well I guess the question is how much do you mind staying out in the cold? I mean were it me, I wouldn't mind that, but if you do then that's a big deal. And I also don't mind disappointing things if it goes that way. But if that bothers you, then it'd be a rough situation.

I wouldn't stress too much over paying. If you want to go, go. If not, don't. But if you've been seeing him for less than a few months then expecting him to pay for a vacation would be a bit much.

The problem is not that, the problem is that rather than going "Hey would you like to go with me there one day?" he went all "Surprise I'm going to go there now, you can come with me to make your dream come true or not you choose" and I don't like that, it's kind of a pressure to go and a whole stressful thing rather than something nice and chill.

[AMFV]

The problem is not that, the problem is that rather than going "Hey would you like to go with me there one day?" he went all "Surprise I'm going to go there now, you can come with me to make your dream come true or not you choose" and I don't like that, it's kind of a pressure to go and a whole stressful thing rather than something nice and chill.

That sounds like a communication style/planning mismatch. Some people don't necessarily plan stuff like that all that far out. Had this been a trip he'd been planning or something more spontaneous? Also it's very possible that he wasn't sure how serious you were about him. I mean asking a girl to come out with you on a vacation to a remote site, is something most girls would think is SUPER creepy if it's done too early. And he might not have been sure enough about how serious he was about you to decide if he wanted to spend several days stuck with you, if it wound up that you weren't a good fit.

[S@tanicoaldo]

That sounds like a communication style/planning mismatch. Some people don't necessarily plan stuff like that all that far out. Had this been a trip he'd been planning or something more spontaneous? Also it's very possible that he wasn't sure how serious you were about him. I mean asking a girl to come out with you on a vacation to a remote site, is something most girls would think is SUPER creepy if it's done too early. And he might not have been sure enough about how serious he was about you to decide if he wanted to spend several days stuck with you, if it wound up that you weren't a good fit.

It was like spontaneous just shows how spoiled he is, how many people do you know that can go, Ha! That comment of yours made me want to go back and take more photos of the boreal lights. Cool. So is this weekend good for you? What?

That's not a normal people think, and I'm not sure if I'm cool with this whole thing, it just makes me uncomfortable.

[Crow]

I see so many red flags with this dude, it isn't even funny. I won't get into those here.

I'm not going to offer any guidance on the relationship side of the situation you find yourself in at the moment; but don't be surprised if your relationship with this dude ends up being a big waste of your time by the time it (inevitably) comes to an end.

As far as paying your own way: If you can manage that anyways, you should just plan to go when *you* want to go.

Besides, the season for lights in the north is actually winding downward. Depending on when the trip actually occurs, and where you are actually going, you may not even get a good opportunity to see them, even with clear weather.

[S@tanicoaldo]

Yeah that what he said about the time and schedule and that he has to check...

I guess I just pictured him different from what he is, and that's a big surprise for me, normally I'm a great judge of character so when i see a person I know exactly how they are, from hopes, dreams, personality, kinks, faiths, philosophes and feelings.

I pictured him as being an arty guy with an open mind and cool places to go not a spoiled guy using his dad's credit card. :/

[Sermil]

Went home wishing I wasn't alone and just cried. The only people who really value me aren't here.

Ugh, that sucks. Lots of sympathy, not much good advice.

Well, maybe one piece of probably bad advice... is it time to say "[Reason I'm here] wasn't as important as I thought, people I love are more important than I thought, I need to leave and structure my life around being close to the ones I love"?

Lots of people decide that being close to their loved ones is the most important factor in choosing where to live. I live in Los Angeles because my spouse needed to move down here, and so I left my house, my job, and all my friends just to stay near her. I have a coworker whose wife needed to move to Seattle for professional reasons, so he left his job, his friends, his house, just to stay with her.

It's perfectly normal to prioritize being close to a lover over every other consideration when deciding where to live. This is probably bad advice because I don't know all your circumstances, but... move?

Sympathy either way. And have someone call up the mental health people and tell them you need help now, not later.

[WarKitty]

Really find the time to do it in person be it a weekend or by staying up late/getting up early. Unless you have some sort of rapport with the neighbor a note is probably going to get ignored.

Be concise and describe the problem when you talk to them. You work a different shift than them and while they are out their dog barks incessantly which is disturbing you. You can make your observations that it seems to be from people coming and going near the door and see if they have any thoughts on it.

Depending on how receptive they are this may be as far as you need to go. Else next step is to determine if there are any bylaws or the like that are on your side. If so you can talk to your landlord. If not then you're kinda screwed if the neighbors are unreceptive.

I guess I feel like...what would I even open with? "Hi, I'm the next door neighbor, I'm working a night shift and your dog's barking constantly during the day, especially when anyone's near the door."

That just...I can't imagine saying something like that to anyone ever. It just rings all my you're being a rude entitled ******* bells.

[factotum]

That just...I can't imagine saying something like that to anyone ever. It just rings all my you're being a rude entitled ******* bells.

That might be more you than them that has the problem, though? What you posted there seems reasonably polite, if a little abrupt. How about "Hi, I'm your next door neighbour. Is there anything we can do about your dog barking all day when you're not in? I work night shift, and I need to sleep during the day."