LGBTAI+ Question and Discussion Thread IV: [Citation Needed]

[Jormengand]

So, this might be a really stupid question, but here goes -

I haven't met any non-binary persons yet in real life (at least that I know of), but as a public official, I was wondering how to adress them in any formal circumstances that might occur, since I obviously can't say "Mrs Jones, Mr Smith and... Johnson." The internet seems to say Mx, but I suppose that's mostly thought for written use. (How would I say that?!)

I'm fairly certain the answer will be "just ask", but, well, maybe not. What would you have others use in the stead of Mrs/Mr?

Not really a stupid question.

I would just ask. If it is Mx, you generally pronounce it with the same fudged ambigous vowel or glottal stop that you need to make "Ms" pronouncable.

[S@tanicoaldo]

Watching gay porn. Simple as that. Biology is a cruel master.

See how porn can lead you astray? The evil thing!

Anyway, how did you get to gay porn in the first place? Is not soemthing you just stumble upon (Unless you are bowsering my twitter profile).

[Shadowscale]

Anyone else here agendered? Since I still present trans feminine and am on HRT I don't consider myself Non binary, does that make sense?

[S@tanicoaldo]

Can you be considered trans if sometimes you really wish you had a d*** to F*** hunky guys But you still want to be a girl just with a huge d to f guys? Is this weird? Does this has a name? Besides being a huge perv?

[JNAProductions]

Can you be considered trans if sometimes you really wish you had a d*** to F*** hunky guys But you still want to be a girl just with a huge d to f guys? Is this weird? Does this has a name? Besides being a huge perv?

I don't see why that'd prevent you from being trans. You've got idle fantasies of sexy rumpus fun times in a specific fashion, but if your identity is that of a woman, that doesn't change.

I'm a guy, and I have fantasies about being a lady. Does that make me any less of a man?

Also, not sure if there's a name for it (other than being a perv, which is perfectly alright to be. Just be a POLITE perv. :P)

[S@tanicoaldo]

I don't see why that'd prevent you from being trans. You've got idle fantasies of sexy rumpus fun times in a specific fashion, but if your identity is that of a woman, that doesn't change.

I'm a guy, and I have fantasies about being a lady. Does that make me any less of a man?

Also, not sure if there's a name for it (other than being a perv, which is perfectly alright to be. Just be a POLITE perv. :P)

Oh, you will never find a more polite perv then me. :)

To be honest tough, most of the perv things I like, I really don't plan to do it, since fantasy is so much better than reality, like most things sexual. :/

[JNAProductions]

Oh, you will never find a more polite perv then me. :)

To be honest tough, most of the perv things I like, I really don't plan to do it, since fantasy is so much better than reality, like most things sexual. :/

And I feel like we should probably not say any more in this public forum about that. GitP is... I won't say "kid-friendly", but it aims to stay clean. (If you really want to continue the conversation, though, PM me.)

But yeah, have the wildest fantasies you like, with whatever kind of person you want to be in your fantasies. It doesn't affect who you are in normal life.

[S@tanicoaldo]

And I feel like we should probably not say any more in this public forum about that. GitP is... I won't say "kid-friendly", but it aims to stay clean. (If you really want to continue the conversation, though, PM me.)

But yeah, have the wildest fantasies you like, with whatever kind of person you want to be in your fantasies. It doesn't affect who you are in normal life.

That's true, I'm sorry. I just saw the thread and decided to post. Sorry.

Other question, how do you guys decide about the letters for the LGBT, is there like a great gay and lesbian council somewhere or what?

[JNAProductions]

That's true, I'm sorry. I just saw the thread and decided to post. Sorry.

Other question, how do you guys decide about the letters for the LGBT, is there like a great gay and lesbian council somewhere or what?

Oh, no need to be sorry. I'd just hate to see get an infraction that could've been avoided.

[137beth]

So, this might be a really stupid question, but here goes -

I haven't met any non-binary persons yet in real life (at least that I know of), but as a public official, I was wondering how to adress them in any formal circumstances that might occur, since I obviously can't say "Mrs Jones, Mr Smith and... Johnson." The internet seems to say Mx, but I suppose that's mostly thought for written use. (How would I say that?!)

I'm fairly certain the answer will be "just ask", but, well, maybe not. What would you have others use in the stead of Mrs/Mr?

I always pronounce Mx like "mix."

[Florian]

Can you be considered trans if sometimes you really wish you had a d*** to F*** hunky guys But you still want to be a girl just with a huge d to f guys? Is this weird? Does this has a name? Besides being a huge perv?

You're basically describing the core of dominant behavior. Being able to penetrate is power and there's pleasure in doing so, taking on the active role in sex.

[Black Knight 2k]

What is a man?
What is a woman?
What is any gender identity?

How can you know what you are, if you do not understand the options?

[Jormengand]

What is a man?
What is a woman?
What is any gender identity?

How can you know what you are, if you do not understand the options?

Gender is a personal sense that some people have which can no more be explained comprehensibly than sight to a blind person or synæsthesia to a neurotypical. "Man" and "Woman" are, in terms of gender, just something which is effectively somewhat synæsthetic with the corresponding sex or expression, I guess. If you don't understand the options, you're probably in the "agender but functionally cisgender" category that I suspect describes many nominally-cis people.

[Razade]

What is a man?

A miserable pile of secrets.

In seriousness, it varies from culture to culture but it tends to comport with what one might view as a male biology. This isn't always the case but the majority of cultures seem to assign the majority of male sexed peoples a man gender. Take of that what you will.

The actual discussion...probably breaches forum rules like crazy and involves more topics and conversations than just a simple question.

What is a woman?

Another miserable pile of secrets.

But seriously, see above. A woman is, generally, the gender we as a culture (again this changes from culture to culture and periods of time to periods of time) assaign to humans born with female sexual organs.

As above, the discussion probably breaches a lot of forum rules and in general isn't something everyone agrees on.

What is any gender identity?

An identity assigned by the zeitgeist of your culture based on various inputs.

How can you know what you are, if you do not understand the options?

Most people intuit the options by culture cues, biology and how they were raised (so more cultural cues). It's not really something you "know", it's just something that happens around you and you can either affirm it or reject it at your leisure.

[-Sentinel-]

Hi everyone!

Happy to see that the LGBT community of this forum is still going strong. I imagine this means that Giant in the Playground is considered a healthy, welcoming space.

I have questions about trans people's names.

Specifically, the thought process that goes into them. So obviously, I'm expecting lots of different answers depending on the person. How did you choose your name when you transitioned? Did you merely think it was a beautiful name? Did you name yourself after a real person or fictional character you admire? Did you simply gender-flip your deadname, e.g. going from Paul to Paula? Did you try several names before settling on one? Are there people who transition but keep the name their parents gave them?

I think that's an interesting subject, because very few people actually get to name themselves.

Thanks!

[Jormengand]

Hi everyone!

Happy to see that the LGBT community of this forum is still going strong. I imagine this means that Giant in the Playground is considered a healthy, welcoming space.

I...

...am very sorry to have to dispel that illusion. This thread, when it's not being invaded by transphobes and consequently getting locked, is perhaps a healthy, welcoming space.

I have questions about trans people's names.

Specifically, the thought process that goes into them. So obviously, I'm expecting lots of different answers depending on the person. How did you choose your name when you transitioned? Did you merely think it was a beautiful name? Did you name yourself after a real person or fictional character you admire? Did you simply gender-flip your deadname, e.g. going from Paul to Paula? Did you try several names before settling on one? Are there people who transition but keep the name their parents gave them?

I think that's an interesting subject, because very few people actually get to name themselves.

Thanks!

I named myself after a sorceress from my favourite book series, a singer I love, two names I thought were just cool, one which is a weird in-joke about that alter's personality, one which is a weird in-joke about linguistics and names, two deadnames, one reference, another weird joke about linguistics and names, and one Norse demigod.

(Explanation: I have dissociative identity disorder and am also genderfluid, and each alter has a first name and a middle name, including the personality with my actual assignment at birth. Each of the four alters therefore takes up two - the two deadnames, the sorceress and one which is cool, the singer and one which is cool, and the weird jokes about their personality and linguistics. This earned me the nickname "Legion", which is an obvious reference and after my lover asked me to choose a less demonic sounding name to refer to the four of us together, I chose "Malachai" because it means "The angels" and I'm funny like that. The demigod, of course, refers to my screen name, Jormengand, though it's usually spelt Jormungandr).

[ve4grm]

I named myself after a sorceress from my favourite book series, a singer I love, two names I thought were just cool, one which is a weird in-joke about that alter's personality, one which is a weird in-joke about linguistics and names, two deadnames, one reference, another weird joke about linguistics and names, and one Norse demigod.

(Explanation: I have dissociative identity disorder and am also genderfluid, and each alter has a first name and a middle name, including the personality with my actual assignment at birth. Each of the four alters therefore takes up two - the two deadnames, the sorceress and one which is cool, the singer and one which is cool, and the weird jokes about their personality and linguistics. This earned me the nickname "Legion", which is an obvious reference and after my lover asked me to choose a less demonic sounding name to refer to the four of us together, I chose "Malachai" because it means "The angels" and I'm funny like that. The demigod, of course, refers to my screen name, Jormengand, though it's usually spelt Jormungandr).

That... sounds very confusing.

No offense intended. I just have a hard enough time with only one personality. Four sounds like it would get complicated.

Also: Legion - comics reference, or videogames? Could be either X-Men or Mass Effect. Probably X-Men?

[-Sentinel-]

Also: Legion - comics reference, or videogames? Could be either X-Men or Mass Effect. Probably X-Men?

Biblical reference. Jesus banishes a demon called Legion, which is actually made out of many demons.

Anyway... thanks Jormengand, though I admit I wasn't expecting the first answer to be so unconventional.

[Heliomance]

Hi everyone!

Happy to see that the LGBT community of this forum is still going strong. I imagine this means that Giant in the Playground is considered a healthy, welcoming space.

I have questions about trans people's names.

Specifically, the thought process that goes into them. So obviously, I'm expecting lots of different answers depending on the person. How did you choose your name when you transitioned? Did you merely think it was a beautiful name? Did you name yourself after a real person or fictional character you admire? Did you simply gender-flip your deadname, e.g. going from Paul to Paula? Did you try several names before settling on one? Are there people who transition but keep the name their parents gave them?

I think that's an interesting subject, because very few people actually get to name themselves.

Thanks!

I got my parents to give me a new name, because I didn't want to feel like I was rejecting them by rejecting the name they gave me. They gender-flipped my first name, and I got a whole new middle name which I like way more than my old one - I was never fond of my middle name, even before I realised I was trans.

As a side note, I (personally) really don't like the term "deadname". It's so melodramatic.

I...

...am very sorry to have to dispel that illusion. This thread, when it's not being invaded by transphobes and consequently getting locked, is perhaps a healthy, welcoming space.

Be fair, that hasn't happened for a while now.

[Jormengand]

That... sounds very confusing.

No offense intended. I just have a hard enough time with only one personality. Four sounds like it would get complicated.

Also: Legion - comics reference, or videogames? Could be either X-Men or Mass Effect. Probably X-Men?

Spoiler: Dissociative Identity stuff

Show

Absolutely. But it comes with its ups and downs.

I come up with some incredible stuff - or at least some fairly highly acclaimed stuff - which I feel fairly confident that no one person would be able to do with anything like the ease with which I - we? - did. This brought upon this hilarious exchange, among a variety of people marvelling at the sheer amount of work we produce. I mean, there are four of us! Of course we're going to be able to get more creative process down on the page than other people! Sure, we only have one set of fingers, but I find that actual typing speed is very rarely the rate-determining step of the creative processes.

On the other hand, this means that you get... awkwardnesses. You eventually get used to the fact that there are three other people in the room with you all the time, even at what would ordinarily be private times. You eventually get used to the fact that your actions always have consequences for three other people, and learn to stop blaming each other for mistakes. You go through relationships as one person - and when you do something horrible, like an idiot, and one of your lovers leaves you for it, they're leaving all four of you. And it sucks to feel the backlash of three other people's actions aside your own.

It's hella weird, too, to know that three other people are getting sexual gratification when you have sex or masturbate - though I admit, we've learned to enjoy each other's affections to the effect that... uh, look, I'll leave it implicit what we do to each other in bed, but kissing and nuzzling parts of my own body - usually my shoulder or hand - as a gesture of affection towards an alter is only part of the love I show to my alters. Mirrors also play a part in it.

Overall? It's a weird experience, but I really, deeply love all three of my alters, and I wouldn't give them up for the world. Plus, it's really helpful to have four people to work on things.

(Unfortunately, because we can read each other's minds, playing any kind of game against each other or any RPG isn't really possible - knowing what the DM or your opponents are thinking kinda ruins things.)

Biblical reference. Jesus banishes a demon called Legion, which is actually made out of many demons.

Anyway... thanks Jormengand, though I admit I wasn't expecting the first answer to be so unconventional.

Yes, indeed. The reason I came up with it...

Spoiler: TW: Transphobia

Show

...was to terrify someone who insisted that I was "Possessed by demons" and wanted to know which one I was possessed by. The answer came to me instantly and she honest-to-goodness ran away when I repeated the verse, which at least got her out of my face.

And at least you have eleven answers now. That should be enough, right?

Be fair, that hasn't happened for a while now.

Yeah, but "It's been several months since the last argument which spilled out of its locked thread into another thread which subsequently got locked, in which people justified murdering trans people and all of the standard trans-women's-boyfriends-are-gay nonsense got dragged out and people pretended that trans people are all sexual predators and..." isn't exactly reassuring.

[The Extinguisher]

Hi everyone!

Happy to see that the LGBT community of this forum is still going strong. I imagine this means that Giant in the Playground is considered a healthy, welcoming space.

I have questions about trans people's names.

Specifically, the thought process that goes into them. So obviously, I'm expecting lots of different answers depending on the person. How did you choose your name when you transitioned? Did you merely think it was a beautiful name? Did you name yourself after a real person or fictional character you admire? Did you simply gender-flip your deadname, e.g. going from Paul to Paula? Did you try several names before settling on one? Are there people who transition but keep the name their parents gave them?

I think that's an interesting subject, because very few people actually get to name themselves.

Thanks!

Im not really sure. ive played around with names for a while (even before i convinced myself i was trans hey young me thanks for saving me lots of time with names that dont quite work) and ive always been drawn towards "A" names cause even though i really dont like the content of my deadname i like the shape of it. I dont know when I settled on Ashlynn, and its obviously got a lot of similarities to one of my favourite mtg characters Ashling so thats probably something to do with it but she wasn't actively on my mind when i came up with it.

I recently decided that i wanted to change my last name too, not that i particularly dislike it or anything, but its hard to spell and pronounce, and since its really uncommon, connected to me in a way that im not super comfortable with. So i stole the name Harley from Homestuck cause it sounds nice.

[ve4grm]

Spoiler: Dissociative Identity stuff

Show

Absolutely. But it comes with its ups and downs.

I come up with some incredible stuff - or at least some fairly highly acclaimed stuff - which I feel fairly confident that no one person would be able to do with anything like the ease with which I - we? - did. This brought upon this hilarious exchange, among a variety of people marvelling at the sheer amount of work we produce. I mean, there are four of us! Of course we're going to be able to get more creative process down on the page than other people! Sure, we only have one set of fingers, but I find that actual typing speed is very rarely the rate-determining step of the creative processes.

On the other hand, this means that you get... awkwardnesses. You eventually get used to the fact that there are three other people in the room with you all the time, even at what would ordinarily be private times. You eventually get used to the fact that your actions always have consequences for three other people, and learn to stop blaming each other for mistakes. You go through relationships as one person - and when you do something horrible, like an idiot, and one of your lovers leaves you for it, they're leaving all four of you. And it sucks to feel the backlash of three other people's actions aside your own.

It's hella weird, too, to know that three other people are getting sexual gratification when you have sex or masturbate - though I admit, we've learned to enjoy each other's affections to the effect that... uh, look, I'll leave it implicit what we do to each other in bed, but kissing and nuzzling parts of my own body - usually my shoulder or hand - as a gesture of affection towards an alter is only part of the love I show to my alters. Mirrors also play a part in it.

Overall? It's a weird experience, but I really, deeply love all three of my alters, and I wouldn't give them up for the world. Plus, it's really helpful to have four people to work on things.

(Unfortunately, because we can read each other's minds, playing any kind of game against each other or any RPG isn't really possible - knowing what the DM or your opponents are thinking kinda ruins things.)

Right. Very complicated. Wow.

Yes, indeed. The reason I came up with it...

Spoiler: TW: Transphobia

Show

...was to terrify someone who insisted that I was "Possessed by demons" and wanted to know which one I was possessed by. The answer came to me instantly and she honest-to-goodness ran away when I repeated the verse, which at least got her out of my face.

And at least you have eleven answers now. That should be enough, right?

That works, too. I had just figured, since you called it an "obvious reference" on this here nerd board, that it was pretty likely to be from one of the nerd pop culture references.

Also, I'm only vaguely familiar with most Christian mythos, so I'm not super familiar with that one.

[-Sentinel-]

Yes, indeed. The reason I came up with it...

Spoiler: TW: Transphobia

Show

...was to terrify someone who insisted that I was "Possessed by demons" and wanted to know which one I was possessed by. The answer came to me instantly and she honest-to-goodness ran away when I repeated the verse, which at least got her out of my face.

Hah!

Not making light of the transphobia you've faced, but the way you dealt with this particular person was A+.

That works, too. I had just figured, since you called it an "obvious reference" on this here nerd board, that it was pretty likely to be from one of the nerd pop culture references.

To be fair, Legion has been referenced by a loooooooot of works of fiction, despite his (their?) very small role in the Bible proper.

[AmberVael]

I have questions about trans people's names.

Specifically, the thought process that goes into them. So obviously, I'm expecting lots of different answers depending on the person. How did you choose your name when you transitioned? Did you merely think it was a beautiful name? Did you name yourself after a real person or fictional character you admire? Did you simply gender-flip your deadname, e.g. going from Paul to Paula? Did you try several names before settling on one? Are there people who transition but keep the name their parents gave them?

I think that's an interesting subject, because very few people actually get to name themselves.

Thanks!

I definitely just picked something that I thought sounded nice. Oddly, my name choice and my thought process around it was very straightforward at the time, but in the time since then it has become waaay more complicated and serious an issue.

Basically, my name change has become a big sticking point with my family. Mainly, my mother is exceptionally attached to my deadname and has had a great deal of struggle over letting it go. To the point where she hasn't and thinks she might not ever.

And for my part, the more I've gone through this, the more important my name choice has become to me. Because ultimately? Yeah, not many people do get to name themselves, and as I've come to think about it more, I hate that. A name is a big part of how we present ourselves, it has subtle effects that pervade our lives (seriously, there are studies) and... what, it's just attached to us by someone else and we have to bear it forever? Why? Why shouldn't I get to choose and use a name that I like, that I want, that reflects me?

And then there's the fact that I've come to despise my deadname. The more I learn why it is so important to my mother, the more it feels abhorrent to me. I'm sure to most people it just seems like any other name, and for a lot of people it probably IS just another name, no more context to it. But for my family, and for me, it has a lot of associations that I don't want to have anything to do with. The fact that it is a contentious point for me to reject it seems so wrong to me. If I don't want to be saddled with it, I shouldn't have to.

[Dire Moose]

This one is easy.

My birth name was James, but my parents used Jamie as an affectionate nickname for me since I was a baby and it stuck very well with me afterwards. James was mostly used in formal situations.

Since I'm nonbinary and Jamie is a gender neutral name, I just kept using it regardless of how I was presenting.

[AuthorGirl]

@Jormengand:

I'm sorry if this is offensive or too personal. If it is, I encourage you to call me a rude little pipsqueak and not answer my question.

Does your genderfluidity have anything to do with your alternate personalities? I mean, are all your personalities genderfluid, or does your gender shift in accordance with which personality is . . . dominant (is that the right word?) at the moment?

[EternalMelon]

Hi everyone!

Happy to see that the LGBT community of this forum is still going strong. I imagine this means that Giant in the Playground is considered a healthy, welcoming space.

I have questions about trans people's names.

Specifically, the thought process that goes into them. So obviously, I'm expecting lots of different answers depending on the person. How did you choose your name when you transitioned? Did you merely think it was a beautiful name? Did you name yourself after a real person or fictional character you admire? Did you simply gender-flip your deadname, e.g. going from Paul to Paula? Did you try several names before settling on one? Are there people who transition but keep the name their parents gave them?

I think that's an interesting subject, because very few people actually get to name themselves.

Thanks!

My chosen name is... a small point of contention for me. Its a variation of my nickname formed from my online handle that a lot of my friends referred to me by anyways. I identified strongly with my handle (and thus nickname) before I even knew I was trans. I tend to spend much of my free time on a semi-public voice chat server, and when still closeted I felt that I could act more like how I wanted to act when I was online. Eventually I guess I tied being feminine and being me to being Melon, so when I came out to meat-space people I chose the name Ellen. In a perfect world I think I'd like to be Melon, but I'll settle for Ellen to have a more standard, regular name.

Also, I agree strongly with Amber, I wish more people got to choose their own name. I find its an important part of who you are, and its a shame that most people have no say in it. But then again, most of my social interaction these days is online, with the majority of people having chosen their own name.

[Jormengand]

@Jormengand:

I'm sorry if this is offensive or too personal. If it is, I encourage you to call me a rude little pipsqueak and not answer my question.

Is it weird that the word pipsqueak sounds like it should be a compliment meaning something along the lines of "Cutie"? But anyway, you're not rude, you're lovely. And I don't mind answering personal questions, especially if they're in good faith.

Does your genderfluidity have anything to do with your alternate personalities? I mean, are all your personalities genderfluid, or does your gender shift in accordance with which personality is . . . dominant (is that the right word?) at the moment?

Each one of them has different genders (one male, one female, one neither and one both), names, and pronouns (he, she, it and they. It will fight you across multiple threads if you call it anything other than "It") - the personalities aren't really genderfluid in their own right, except that they wobble a bit from the absolutes (sometimes the both is a bit more masculine, and sometimes they're a bit more feminine, but they're still a both. Sometimes the girl is a little bit masculine because hey, old habits die hard I guess. So forth for the others). The weird thing is that I, as in Legion holistically and not any one of the four of us, don't really have a gender identity. It's not like whoever's in control defines the entire identity, because... there's still three more people stapled to the back of their mind, with different genders!

Hells, it's not like we even have to control the entire body at once. Which has led to some interesting right-hand-grabs-the-left-to-stop-it instances, I'll admit, but it also lends itself to some interesting affection where you're controlling opposite halves of the body and having some fun running your hand up the other side of their body (plus [REDACTED] of course, but I'll let your imagination work that one out. ).

So, it's not so much that there's a dominant personality (most of us are quite switchy with the agender one being almost exclusively dominant, but that's not what you meant) so much as that we can all show up, take control of stuff, rest (when I'm tired there's sometimes only one about because the rest have collapsed from mental exhaustion) and think and even act independently.

Incidentally, my sexuality is a similar story - all of us are static, but slightly different - the agender one is also asexual, but is demiandroromantic and allogyneromantic (if you're not a fan of "Tumblr words", it can have affectionate but not sexual feelings towards women immediately and men after some time), while the rest of us are varying shades of demiandrosexual and allogynesexual (as for attraction to other NBs... it depends on which one, I guess, because there are a lot of types of NB out there and lots of different ways to present. I know that I find our other resident genderfluid cutie very attractive when they're in NB-mode, for example).

But yeah, I'm not an ordinary genderfluid person - or even an ordinary person with Dissociative Identity Disorder - so my answers are almost certainly unique to me, for whatever that's worth. Probably not really too indicative of any wider trend among genderfluid people or trans people in general.

[Lycunadari]

Hi everyone!

Happy to see that the LGBT community of this forum is still going strong. I imagine this means that Giant in the Playground is considered a healthy, welcoming space.

I have questions about trans people's names.

Specifically, the thought process that goes into them. So obviously, I'm expecting lots of different answers depending on the person. How did you choose your name when you transitioned? Did you merely think it was a beautiful name? Did you name yourself after a real person or fictional character you admire? Did you simply gender-flip your deadname, e.g. going from Paul to Paula? Did you try several names before settling on one? Are there people who transition but keep the name their parents gave them?

I think that's an interesting subject, because very few people actually get to name themselves.

Thanks!

For my first name, I looked through a bunch of lists with gender neutral names until I found one that sounded pretty, had a good meaning and was not too unusual -no fictional names (Germany has quite strict rules about what is allowed as names, though the rules aren't as bad as they used to be) and no names from another culture- but Juniper is apparently still unusual enough that I get asked where that name comes from every single time I introduce myself to someone. Every single time. (But my old name was also quite unusual so I'm used to it.) At that point, Juniper was the only name that felt like it could fit, so I picked that. I sometimes think that maybe I should have waited a bit longer, looked some more, because even after five years I still don't feel like it fits 100%. I've even thought about changing it again, but I haven't actually found one that fits better, and I really don't want to have to tell people to use another name again, getting them to call me Juniper was hard enough. And it's not that I dislike this name, I still think it's really pretty and I like the meaning, it just doesn't really feel like me. Maybe I just need more time to get used to it; while I did chose it five years ago, it hasn't been that long since people actually started calling me that, and there are still a lot of occasions where I have to use my old name because I haven't changed it legally yet.

For my middle name, I had similar criteria and also looked through lists, though I did so more casually, without feeling like I needed to find one right now. So I didn't rush as much in picking one, and I waited much longer before deciding on one. I also kept thinking about it much longer, tried thinking of myself as different names, without telling anyone about it. At one point I also asked my mom if she liked the name Tristan, without telling her why I wanted to know; she didn't really like it, but when I told her some time later that I was looking for a middle name, she actually suggested that herself, which was kinda funny. And then I found this song (though I prefer the acoustic version) and I really connected with that song, so that was the final reason to actually make Tristan my middle name. In a way I now feel like I have a deeper connection to my middle name than to my first name, which is a bit weird I guess, but I don't really mind. The process that went into choosing both names was very different, with Juniper having a more rational background while Tristan has a more personal, emotional background, and I wouldn't want to have to explain that all the time like I have to with Juniper. It's like Juniper is the name I am for other people, while Tristan is who I am just for myself. Juniper is my public name, Tristan my private name. That probably doesn't make sense to anyone but me, but oh well.

And currently I'm in the process of choosing a second middle name (because almost everyone in my family has two middle names) so I'm going through the whole thing again. Some names I'm thinking about are Avi, Avery and Lux, but that's all still very early. (It took me four years or so to decide on Tristan, so I don't expect to find a suitable second middle name any time soon.)

[AuthorGirl]

Is it weird that the word pipsqueak sounds like it should be a compliment meaning something along the lines of "Cutie"? But anyway, you're not rude, you're lovely. And I don't mind answering personal questions, especially if they're in good faith.

It does sound like that, now that you mention it. And thank you

Each one of them has different genders (one male, one female, one neither and one both), names, and pronouns (he, she, it and they. It will fight you across multiple threads if you call it anything other than "It") - the personalities aren't really genderfluid in their own right, except that they wobble a bit from the absolutes (sometimes the both is a bit more masculine, and sometimes they're a bit more feminine, but they're still a both. Sometimes the girl is a little bit masculine because hey, old habits die hard I guess. So forth for the others). The weird thing is that I, as in Legion holistically and not any one of the four of us, don't really have a gender identity. It's not like whoever's in control defines the entire identity, because... there's still three more people stapled to the back of their mind, with different genders!

That makes sense. I'm guessing gender-neutral pronouns are best for referring to Legion holistically?

Hells, it's not like we even have to control the entire body at once. Which has led to some interesting right-hand-grabs-the-left-to-stop-it instances, I'll admit, but it also lends itself to some interesting affection where you're controlling opposite halves of the body and having some fun running your hand up the other side of their body (plus [REDACTED] of course, but I'll let your imagination work that one out. ).

So, it's not so much that there's a dominant personality (most of us are quite switchy with the agender one being almost exclusively dominant, but that's not what you meant) so much as that we can all show up, take control of stuff, rest (when I'm tired there's sometimes only one about because the rest have collapsed from mental exhaustion) and think and even act independently.

Well, that was unexpected. It sounds like it would be really important to get along and have similar goals.

Incidentally, my sexuality is a similar story - all of us are static, but slightly different - the agender one is also asexual, but is demiandroromantic and allogyneromantic (if you're not a fan of "Tumblr words", it can have affectionate but not sexual feelings towards women immediately and men after some time), while the rest of us are varying shades of demiandrosexual and allogynesexual (as for attraction to other NBs... it depends on which one, I guess, because there are a lot of types of NB out there and lots of different ways to present. I know that I find our other resident genderfluid cutie very attractive when they're in NB-mode, for example).

"Tumblr words" are fine, but thanks for the definitions

When you say "I," do you mean all of your personalities?

But yeah, I'm not an ordinary genderfluid person - or even an ordinary person with Dissociative Identity Disorder - so my answers are almost certainly unique to me, for whatever that's worth. Probably not really too indicative of any wider trend among genderfluid people or trans people in general.

Well, thanks for your answers!