Realizations that make you feel really stupid

[danzibr]

Still, it's not as significant as the differences for Chinese romanisation; the same name in Wade-Giles (obsolete system written by westerners for westerners) and Pinyin (official standard Mandarin) can be unrecognisable even though they're pronounced the same (曹操, the King of Wei from the Three Kingdoms era, romanises as Ts'ao Ts'ao in Wade Giles, or more recognisably, Cáo Cāo in Pinyin).

This isn't even starting on the variant romanisations for the different dialects - Cantonese has both Yale romanisation (Chòuh Chōu) and Jyutping (Cou Cou), both of which are still taught (I suspect for political reasons, which I can't get into on this board).

I feel this is related to General Tso’s chicken.

[Anonymouswizard]

Hooray! That's a pretty happy realization.

Yes, although I felt idiotic that she had to ask it three/four times to get it through my thick skull.

Just another week until I can see her in person again, another realisation was when I worked out that I'm completely unprepared to visit her in France (how do people speak this language!?).

[Brother Oni]

I feel this is related to General Tso’s chicken.

Which is an American dish, much like fortune cookies.

Just another week until I can see her in person again, another realisation was when I worked out that I'm completely unprepared to visit her in France (how do people speak this language!?).

"Excuse-y moi, Monsieur/Madam, parley vous Anglaise?"

Please don't try this for real.

[Peelee]

"Excuse-y moi, Monsieur/Madam, parley vous Anglaise?"

Please don't try this for real.

Seconded. Instead, use either "¡Hola! ¿Tu hablo Ingles?" Or "Gruss gott! Sprecken ze Englisch?' depending on whether they're from the north or south of France. You want the German for the south, and Spanish for the north.

[GolemsVoice]

Yes, although I felt idiotic that she had to ask it three/four times to get it through my thick skull.

Just another week until I can see her in person again, another realisation was when I worked out that I'm completely unprepared to visit her in France (how do people speak this language!?).

French do, everybody else just does like they did in class. Nod, smile, and hope they don't have to answer any questions.

[Velaryon]

Yes, although I felt idiotic that she had to ask it three/four times to get it through my thick skull.

Just another week until I can see her in person again, another realisation was when I worked out that I'm completely unprepared to visit her in France (how do people speak this language!?).

Congratulations! (From another person who needs to be beaten repeatedly upside the head with the Clue Bat in situations like that).

[Peelee]

Congratulations! (From another person who needs to be beaten repeatedly upside the head with the Clue Bat in situations like that).

I didn't have any issues with my wife (we met via online dating, so i literally couldn't misconstrue it), but she has told me that I get hit on a fair amount, which I've never noticed.

[Velaryon]

I didn't have any issues with my wife (we met via online dating, so i literally couldn't misconstrue it), but she has told me that I get hit on a fair amount, which I've never noticed.

The only successful (for a time, anyway) relationship I ever had began with online dating, but the rest of my romantic life has been one misfire after another of me not understanding what was going on.

One time in seventh or eighth grade, a girl in my class straight up told me she liked me. Unfortunately, my self-confidence at that time was so low that I was sure this was a prank of some kind to humiliate me, and I refused to believe her. It literally never even occurred to me that she might actually be interested in me.

Many years later, a woman that I had gone to school with from kindergarten all through high school randomly friended me on Facebook. We got to talking, and she told me that she had had a huge crush on me in school, which I unfortunately had absolutely no idea about. To this day she's movie star beautiful, so I would absolutely have leaped at the chance to see whether we were compatible back then had I known. Unfortunately, by this time she was happily married and with children, so there wasn't anything I could do now that I knew.

About five years ago, I was introduced to another woman at a friend's birthday party, and she ended up joining our gaming group. When that friend brought her as a date to another friend's wedding some months later, she flirted with me the entire evening, and I still didn't pick up on it until she straight up told me. That led to an awkward mess of things that nearly cost me one of my best friends and left me horribly stressed out for a good six or seven months. I'm pretty sure I posted about it here in one of the Relationship Woes threads.

All of which is to say that if I get hit on at all (which I doubt but it's possible), I'm as clueless about it as you apparently are when it happens to you.

[BWR]

Yes, although I felt idiotic that she had to ask it three/four times to get it through my thick skull.

Just another week until I can see her in person again, another realisation was when I worked out that I'm completely unprepared to visit her in France (how do people speak this language!?).

Don't worry. Just spend some time in the France and you will soon be speaking the French like a native.

[Knaight]

The only successful (for a time, anyway) relationship I ever had began with online dating, but the rest of my romantic life has been one misfire after another of me not understanding what was going on.
...
All of which is to say that if I get hit on at all (which I doubt but it's possible), I'm as clueless about it as you apparently are when it happens to you.

This is what throws it off. You construe a mental model where you getting hit on is unlikely, so then you reject signs of you getting hit on, and eventually someone has to try repeatedly blatant techniques for about three months before just dropping something like "so are we dating or what?", at which point you're totally shocked because it never occurred to you as a serious thought.

You know. Hypothetically. I'm totally not relating events that have actually happened to me.

[Velaryon]

This is what throws it off. You construe a mental model where you getting hit on is unlikely, so then you reject signs of you getting hit on, and eventually someone has to try repeatedly blatant techniques for about three months before just dropping something like "so are we dating or what?", at which point you're totally shocked because it never occurred to you as a serious thought.

You know. Hypothetically. I'm totally not relating events that have actually happened to me.

I don't doubt that I'm still guilty of this (though hopefully not as much so as when I was in school), but I also just don't know how to tell flirting apart from basic friendliness.

[Anonymouswizard]

Congratulations! (From another person who needs to be beaten repeatedly upside the head with the Clue Bat in situations like that).

Thank you. Considering that I managed to spend three months convincing myself that she didn't have feelings for me before she admitted it back in October. There could have been many reasons she was always smiling sound me, maybe she's just a naturally smiley person.

I am still convinced that my obliviousness is not the only reason this is my first relationship. No Mayer what my friends say.

[Tvtyrant]

I don't doubt that I'm still guilty of this (though hopefully not as much so as when I was in school), but I also just don't know how to tell flirting apart from basic friendliness.

Studies have shown that no one does. Guys and gals are both bad at picking up on the difference between being nice and flirting.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psy...ot-flirt%3famp

[Jormengand]

Studies have shown that no one does. Guys and gals are both bad at picking up on the difference between being nice and flirting.

Incidentally, if you're a girl who likes other girls, you can give the most overtly sexual and obviously flirtatious compliments you like and the other girl will just assume you're just complimenting her. You have to be explicit about "No, no, I think you're beautiful and sexy but, like, in a gay way" before they realise that you weren't just complimenting them.

(I think that it being that bad in this instance is because girls give girls all sorts of compliments anyway, so it's hard to tell the difference.)

[Tvtyrant]

Incidentally, if you're a girl who likes other girls, you can give the most overtly sexual and obviously flirtatious compliments you like and the other girl will just assume you're just complimenting her. You have to be explicit about "No, no, I think you're beautiful and sexy but, like, in a gay way" before they realise that you weren't just complimenting them.

(I think that it being that bad in this instance is because girls give girls all sorts of compliments anyway, so it's hard to tell the difference.)

I think there is an unfortunate social implication there as well. Flattery is a form of subservience (in the US anyway) and part of the social dynamic is that women flatter to establish hierarchy. The flirtatious secretary/corporate suckup is a trope about how we establish subservience, which is why sleeping with your secretary is such an abuse of power.

[Jormengand]

I think there is an unfortunate social implication there as well. Flattery is a form of subservience (in the US anyway) and part of the social dynamic is that women flatter to establish hierarchy. The flirtatious secretary/corporate suckup is a trope about how we establish subservience, which is why sleeping with your secretary is such an abuse of power.

In the case I was talking about I wasn't considering a work environment, and I don't see the flattery as subservience thing nearly as much over here anyway (to the point that it seems iconically Unitedstatesian rather than ordinary).

[danzibr]

I’ve had the opposite (?) happen. I’m just really friendly and I’m pretty sure a few people have taken it as flirty.

[sktarq]

In the case I was talking about I wasn't considering a work environment, and I don't see the flattery as subservience thing nearly as much over here anyway (to the point that it seems iconically Unitedstatesian rather than ordinary).

Yeah....It is not just a US thing but boy does the US take it up on that option....But even so such secretary/"boss" relationship have been massively disproportionately represented in the couples I've known who are still deeply in love and mutually respectful after 25+ years together.

[Lord Joeltion]

Incidentally, if you're a girl who likes other girls, you can give the most overtly sexual and obviously flirtatious compliments you like and the other girl will just assume you're just complimenting her. You have to be explicit about "No, no, I think you're beautiful and sexy but, like, in a gay way" before they realise that you weren't just complimenting them.

(I think that it being that bad in this instance is because girls give girls all sorts of compliments anyway, so it's hard to tell the difference.)

On the other side of the spectrum, male friends find it very awkward to give sincere compliments to "good looks" (other than the typical "nice suit/car/shoes/shirt/etc"). I think it's hard to tell irony from sincerity too. I guess the opposite phenomena applies to men (boys into girls do not generally compliment other boys, period). Anyway, from my experience, you may be right about girls. Women compliment their female peers a lot, specially to show friendly appreciation.

Yeah....It is not just a US thing but boy does the US take it up on that option....But even so such secretary/"boss" relationship have been massively disproportionately represented in the couples I've known who are still deeply in love and mutually respectful after 25+ years together.

In my country we have a "(female*) Secretary/Assistant Day". Guess which day of the year, specifically, it becomes very difficult to find a free room in a -ahem- hotel... So no, totally not an American trait

*It's female because Spanish. I'm not sure if we have a "Male Assistant/Receptionist Day" tho At least nobody ever game me my chocolates, dammit

[HalfTangible]

*It's female because Spanish.

For those who don't get it: most Spanish nouns have a gender denoted by either 'el' or 'la' (la chica, el chico, la basura, el coche), and there are also several grammar rules that depend on the gender of the word being spoken. (de el becomes del, de la remains de la.)

[Jormengand]

Women compliment their female peers a lot, specially to show friendly appreciation.

This is especially true of slightly drunk women in clubs, which is why it's slightly annoying when you're a slightly drunk woman in a club trying to pick up other women.

[Casimir-Ivanova]

I was watching an episode of Bojack Horseman, and was wondering where I had heard one of the actor's voices before. Turns out it's none other than Wallace Shawn, the man behind the "INCONCIEVABLE" Vizzini from The Princess Bride, one of my favourite movies. What else has he been in? Toy Story, as Rex the dinosaur. For twenty years, I had failed to realize Rex was voiced by a knife wielding, bad tempered Sicilian. :P

[Sinewmire]

Today I realised, having walked back to work from the shop where I bought my sandwich, that I'd driven there today, to take my dry cleaing over.

Once I'd walked back to the shop, I remembered that I'd actually decided against driving because I didn't know if I'd be able to park once I got back.

I am not having a great day.

[Some Android]

Johnny Cash had a cameo in an episode of the Simpsons.

[Peelee]

Johnny Cash had a cameo in an episode of the Simpsons.

Also Columbo!

ETA: Hey, it's also got Boss Hogg in it! I should re-watch that episode sometime. It's already one of my favorites, if for no other reason than the way Cash pronounces crimes. "hoe-micide? HOE-MICIDE?!?"

[Some Android]

Also Columbia!

Who or what is Columbia?*

*I have a feeling this realization will make me feel stupid.

[Peelee]

Who or what is Columbia?*

*I have a feeling this realization will make me feel stupid.

It's certainly not my phone's autocorrect rebelling against me when I tried to write Columbo, nope, nosirree.

[Some Android]

It's certainly not my phone's autocorrect rebelling against me when I tried to write Columbo, nope, nosirree.

Oh! Well that certainly does make sense then!

[Jay R]

It's certainly not my phone's autocorrect rebelling against me when I tried to write Columbo, nope, nosirree.

Don'tcha hate being outsmarted by something that can only count to one?

[Yes, it's on-topic. This is a realization that regularly makes me feel really stupid.]

[aandy]

when you realise all adults are just giant children, including yourself, and are only slightly better at masking emotional outbursts (both good and bad)