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    Troll in the Playground
     
    Astrella's Avatar

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    Default LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Notice: This is mostly a support thread. There is an LGBTAI+ Q&A Thread right here.

    The AI is for All-Inclusive because we have only so much space in the title, but everyone, regardless of orientation, direction, letter, acronym or chosen astrological symbol is welcome here!

    We do, unfortunately, have a few rules. We are not an anarchist state! Or, we weren't until we voted we were? But shush.

    1. We are primarily a support thread.
    This means that the primary focus should be in helping people here feel better; about themselves, about their lives, about their problems. We are also an education thread, but when helping someone learn involves not supporting, we will default to support - Mostly. We are only mostly human, after all.

    All of the other rules are basically precisions of rule #1.

    2. If you want answers to triggering topics, spoiler-box or ask them privately.
    Triggering topics are those which are likely to make other people feel bad, in any way whatsoever: for instance, rape, violence, bullying and many others may be triggering to some people. If someone, even just that one individual person, has a problem with a topic because it stirs demons best left in their pit, Do. Not. Bring. It. Up. Publicly. Use a spoiler box and think carefully about whether this is the place to broach the topic at all (see rule #1: "We are primarily a support thread.")

    If you have questions or need help on something that involves triggering topics, please use spoiler tags and label your spoilers for trigger warnings. When in doubt, put trigger warnings.

    3. Avoid discussing politics or religion.
    It doesn't matter how much these two topics intersect with our forum topic, they are verboten. Sometimes, hints are...looked over, such as, "Man, in my country being gay sucks," but detail is right out, and even that could be considered willful disregard. Be careful. As the moderators themselves often say, if you aren't sure, don't.

    4. Do not discuss moral justification.
    No one here is going to discuss whether or not it's Right" or "Okay" to be LGBTAEIOUsometimesY or anything else. It's not topical, it's not relevant. We are, and we are here to cope with that and with the stresses it causes.
    And no, my joking acronym doesn't constitute considering this rule less important.

    5. Do not post sexually explicit content.
    It's against forum rules, it's against decorum, and it will get us shut down pretty fast. What adults do behind closed doors is cool, and allusion is fine. Anything that could involve a diagram, though? No.

    6. Avoid unfriendly debates.
    Several topics of conversation have created huge arguments that made several people uncomfortable and defied our goal of being a support thread. This is especially true debates of definition. These do not always end well, and are best avoided.

    Fight Club, AKA things we do not talk about.
    This thread has a past of traumatic experiences which we would rather not repeat, and some topics which have created (in)famous rows include:
    - The precise distinction between bi- and pansexual;
    - What is or isn't a polyamorous relationship;
    - Whether transgender is more correct than transgendered.
    - Whether people who have homosexual sex should be able to give blood.
    (Other topics may be added to the list.)
    Unless you need support or help about this, please refrain from bringing up these topics.

    Also, if a conversation that is not about support runs long, spoiler it if possible, even if it is polite.

    Glossary of Common Terms

    For reference, here is a list of commonly-used words in our community along with their definitions. Please keep in mind that this vocabulary is constantly evolving and that this list may not be complete. Any contributions to the list are appreciated.
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    LGBT: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans*

    LGBTAI: LGBT+Asexual/Aromantic/Agender+Intersex/All-Inclusive

    QUILTBAG:
    Q - Queer and Questioning
    U - Unidentified
    I - Intersex
    L - Lesbian
    T - Transgender/Transsexual
    B - Bisexual
    A - Asexual/Aromantic/Agender
    G - Gay, Genderqueer

    GSRM: Gender, Sexuality, and Romantic Minorities; sometimes only GSM

    Where a word below is in italics, that means it has its own entry on the list.

    A note on labels: many of these labels are seemingly interchangeable, and for some people they are. However, please do not presume to correct or judge another person's use of a label. Bisexual and pansexual are especially tricky in this regard, as are transgender and transsexual to a lesser degree.
    Often the difference in why one person feels one label is appropriate and not another is deeply personal. If you wish to know more it is probably a topic to seek private advice on, from one of the people listed in the next section.

    AFAB/AMAB: Assigned Female/Male at Birth.

    Agender: Someone who lacks a gender.

    Androgyne: Gender Identity with male and female aspects.

    Androsexual: A person who is attracted to men.

    Asexual: A person who does not feel sexual attraction.

    Assignment/Assigned Gender:-The gender which someone is assigned at birth.

    Bigender: Someone who identifies as both male and female (or as any two genders) either simultaneously or alternating. See also Genderqueer, Genderfluid

    Binary, The: See: Gender Binary.

    Bisexual: 1. attracted to two genders; 2. attracted to one's own gender and another gender; 3. attracted to various genders; 4. attracted to people regardless of gender; 5. ask the person who says they're bi what exactly they mean by that. See also Pansexual

    Cis: See: Cisgender

    Cisgender (CG): Somebody whose gender and sex align.

    Demisexual: A person who is sexually attracted to someone only after they have formed an intense emotional relationship with them.

    Dysphoria: The etymological opposite of "euphoria." A state of unease or generalized dissatisfaction. In this context, generally referring to the discomfort or dissociation Trans* people feel with their own body.

    Male-to-Female (MtF): Someone who was assigned male at birth, but is female. (AKA: trans woman)

    Female: See: Woman

    Female-to-Male (FtM): Someone who was assigned female at birth, but is male. (AKA: trans man)

    FAAB: Female Assigned at Birth.

    Feminine: Something generally associated by society with women.

    FFS: Facial Feminization Surgery: Surgery to reduce chin/nose/cheekbones. Associated primarily with MAAB Trans people

    FtM: See: Female to Male

    Gay: See: homosexual.

    Gender Binary: The commonly held notion that there are only men and women on two extremes, with nothing in between.

    Gender Expression (GE): How one expresses their Gender Identity to society.

    Gender Identity (GI): How one feels inside society's idea of "man, woman, or other".

    Genderfluid: Someone who fluctuates between different genders.

    Genderqueer (GQ): Someone who is not of a binary gender; someone who is neither male nor female.

    Gynosexual: A person who is attracted to women.

    Heterosexual: A person who is attracted to members of the opposite gender.

    Homosexual: A person who is attracted to members of their own gender.

    HRT: Hormone replacement therapy. MtF's tend to progesterone, estrogens and androgen blockers, while FtM's take testosterone almost exclusively.

    Lesbian: A woman who is attracted to women.

    MAAB: Male Assigned at Birth.

    Male-to-Female (MtF): Someone who was assigned male at birth, but is female. (AKA: trans woman)

    Man/men: A cis man or trans man. Male.

    Masculine: Something generally associated by society with men.

    Pansexual: A person who is attracted to people regardless of gender. See also Bisexual

    Polyamorous: A person who is interested in a relationship with more than one person.

    Presenting: Trans* shorthand for appearing as their preferred gender, regardless of any HRT, SRS or other changes.

    Trans*: Transsexual and Transgender primarily, with the asterisk denoting that the trans- prefix could be followed by any number of appropriate words. It also includes other labels, and is a catch-all term for people who identify as something other than their biological sex at birth.

    Note: While "Trans*" was at one time preferred terminology, of late it has become seen as problematic for various reasons, and is being phased out of use. The preferred term at this time is simply "Trans". You use the term in the definition of dysphoria.
    Also, FtM and MtF are sometimes seen as problematic, and i've been seeing a lot more 'Trans man/Trans woman' for target gender, moving on to 'Trans-feminine/Trans-masculine' which describes the direction of change, but does not define an end point.
    "Transsexual" is also being phased out as being a bit obsessed with crotch bits and orientation linked either to the cis obsession with genital configuration, or the proven false idea that transgender people are just "super gay".

    Transgender: Used in reference to a person whose sex(body) and gender(mind) are at odds or do not match. A transgender person can also identify as genderqueer, transsexual, or may use transgender as their only identity.

    Transitioning: The process a Trans* person undergoes to move to their preferred gender. Often includes HRT, SRS, FFS.

    Transsexual: In common terms the same as transgender above. In medical terms refers specifically to people who wish to transition from male to female or female to male, not accommodating any other options.

    SRS: Sex Reassignment Surgery: Surgery to replace/transform a vagina into a penis, or vice versa. Mastectomies or plastic surgery may be used on breasts.

    Sexual Orientation (SO): How one identifies who they are attracted to.

    Significant Other(s) (SO): Person(s) you are in a relationship with.

    Third-gendered: Someone who fits in a local society's third gender, usually male performing female tasks, occasionally vice versa. Also a person who feels they do not identify with any other gender identity.

    Woman: A cis woman or trans woman. Female.

    Allies: Heterosexual-Cisgender people who support equality for sexual, gender, and romantic minorities.

    Aromantic: a person who does not experience romantic attraction.

    Non-Binary: Same as Genderqueer.

    Enby: Shortened form of "Non-binary".

    Private Consultation.

    We have a list of people who are willing and able to discuss topics that may not be thread-appropriate but are still topical. They can be reached by Personal Message (PM), thought they may not respond immediately, or may be on sabbatical.

    Don't be afraid to reach out and talk to them.

    Many of us on the list are more than willing to listen to your questions or concerns and will not just lash out in hostility or anger.

    Spoiler: Topical Consultants
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    Name: Especially familiar with the topic(s) of
    Absol197: Gender identity issues.
    Philemonite: Relationships, depression.
    Astrella: GSRM rights, feminism, trans stuff, Skype.
    Chess435: Skype.
    Eirala: Trans stuff (esp emotional issues), Skype(no voice or video, however).
    Eldest: General/basics, bisexuality, polyamory, pansexuality will Skype(voice if needed, no video).
    Enrico Dandolo (Caroline): Trans stuff, mental health, feminism, asexuality, hugs, make-up advice. PM first, Skype chat if asked.
    Golentan: Mental health, fluid and questioning sexualities, and issues arising from sexual trauma.
    HMS Sophia: Trans stuff (esp hormones).
    inuyasha: Shoulder on which to cry, someone to listen.
    Irish Musician: PM, Rants/Venting.
    KenderWizard: General/basics, gender and feminism, bisexuality.
    Kesnit: Trans stuff (FtM), legal issues.
    Lea Plath: Genderfluidity.
    Lentrax: General/basics, depression, bullying.
    Lix Lorn: General/basics.
    Lycunadari: Genderqueer and agendered.
    Metditto: PM/Skype for L, T, GQ, BDSM(Off-thread or Spoiler Triggered), demisexual, feminism, therapy, depression, dissociative identities.
    Miraqariftsky: Family issues, transfolk issues, bullying, depression
    Musashi: General/basics, asexuality/demisexuality, depression.
    Mystic Muse: Skype-y goodness.
    noparlpf: General/basics, asexuality, greysexuality, biology, Skype.
    Partysan: PM/Skype, polyamory, pansexuality, BDSM(Off-thread or Spoiler Triggered), Rants/Venting.
    Socratov: Skype-ness.
    TaiLiu: General Transgender information, transphobia.
    Warkitty: Academic/technical discussions, Make-up advice.
    Wormwood74: Transgender legal issues, transgender outside contacts.


    Some people are also willing to talk off-board, through Skype or email or other means; this is especially useful if your question involves board-forbidden topics such as religion or politics. Also, we can't (and ethically shouldn't!) give medical advice. If you need medical advice, please see a professional!

    And as a parting note, I will say that even though moderators do not read PMs, they are still part of the forum and still subject to forums rules. Non-allowed topics and discussion should NOT be conducted via PM.


    Previous Incarnations

    Like the Glorious and Unconquered Sun, we have risen, lived, died, and risen anew, with many faces, many voices, many hearts. In this past, much can be found, both good, and bad, should one be brave or perhaps, foolish, enough to seek it.

    Spoiler: Past Threads
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    1. LGBT people in the playground
    2. LGBT people in the playground - part II
    3. LGBTitp - part III
    4. LGBTitp 4: We are a family?
    5. LGBTitp - Part Five
    6. LGBTitp - Part Six
    7. LGBTitp - Part Seven
    8. LGBTitp - Part Eight
    9. LGBTitp - Part Nine
    10. LGBTAitp - Part Ten
    11. LGBTAitp - Part Eleven
    12. LGBTAitp - Part Twelve
    13. LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
    14. LGBTAitp - Part Fourteen
    15. LGBTAitp - Part Fifteen
    16. LGBTAitp - Part Sixteen
    17. LGBTAitp - Part Seventeen
    18. LGBTAitp - Part Eighteen!
    19. LGBTAitp - Part Nineteen
    20. LGBTAitp - Part Twenty - Critical Hit!
    21. LGBTAitp - Part Twenty-One - BLACKJACK!
    22. LGBTAitP Part 22: The Best There Is
    23. LGBTAitP Part 23: Et tu, ~Bianca?
    24. LGBTAitP: Alphabet Soup-with 24 different Vitamins!
    25. LGBTAitP part 25: Doing Away With Subtitles
    26. LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
    27. LGBTAitP 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
    28. LGBTAitP #28: Come Taste the Rainbow!
    29. LGBTAitP #29: The Rainbow Outreach Program
    30. LGBTAitP 30: Free Cuddles (Enquire Within)
    31. LGBTAitP #31: Cuddles Are On Back Order. Have Some Snuggles!
    32. LGBTAitp #32: The Great Plushie Invasion!
    33. LGBTAitp #33: The Thread at the End of the Rainbow!
    34. LGTAitP #34: <3!!
    35. LGBTAitp #35: What Midlife Crisis? :3
    36. LGBTAitp #36: May Contain Bites!
    37. LGBTAitP #37: Once upon a time...
    38. LGBTAitP #38: Once More With Feeling!!
    39. LGBTAitP #38: Making Your Way in the World Today....
    40. LGBTAitP #40: Technicolour Partyboat
    41. LGBTAitp #41 - Imprecise Terminology Supercenter
    42. LGBTAitp #42: Better Than Skittles/The Meaning of Life!
    43. LGBTAitp #43 [Insert snappy subtitle here]
    44. LGBTAIitP #44: Quick, We Need To Vote A New Title!
    45. LGBTAIitP #45: Rainbow Anarchy
    46. LGBTAitP #46: I Cast Prismatic Hugs
    47. LGBTAIitp #47: Weather Control Central
    48. LGBTAIitp #48: For a Cuddly Tomorrow!
    49. LGBTAIitp #49: Please check all baggage before boarding the Rainbow Rail Road
    50. LGBTAI+ #50: Warning: This Thread Has Exceeded its Maximum Awesome Level
    51. LGBTAI+ 51: Lay That Hammer Down!
    52. LGBTAI+ 52: Aces High
    53. LGBTAI+ 53: The Nefarious Rainbow Syndicate
    54. LGBTAI+ 54: A Full Deck
    55. LGBTAI+ 55: AKA The Page We'll Get to if I Don't Make a New One
    56. LGBTAI+ 56: Prismatic Spray
    57. LGBTAI+ 57: I Love You, Always Forever
    58. LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread





    Webcomics that touch on... Well, everything related to the thread.
    Spoiler
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    Venus Envy. Long dead webcomic. The creator has chosen not to continue it and move forward in life.
    Rain. A story of a MtF girl in high school.
    Khaos Komix.As the creator puts it(from his site): "A complete GLBTWTFBBQ comic about gender and sexuality. (Trigger warnings for EVERYTHING and nothing is safe for work.)"
    Always Raining Here. "Adrian is heartsick, Carter is horny. This is a story about their misadventures as awkward teenagers as they fumble through unrequited romances."
    Tripping over you.An awkward blind date leads to better options.
    Questionable Content. The LGBTA characters are fairly well done, and not stereotypes.
    What's normal anyway. "What’s Normal Anyway? is a comic that discusses the trans male experience through the story of Mel, who takes the big risk of being himself and transitioning from female to male."
    Princess. A webcomic.
    Twokinds. Keveak: "It generally portrays GRSM matters positively and is quite a nice tale overall."
    Misfile The Rose Dragon: "Ash is a young boy who, as a result of a screw-up in Heaven, gets stuck in a girl's body in a life he doesn't recognize, and has to deal with the changes and challenges of his new body while trying to get back his old life. Supernatural hijinks and car racing are involved."
    Portside Stories A cute(and recently started) webcomic.
    El Goonish Shive A long running webcomic, that I've heard often touches on lgbta relevant stuff.
    Validation A Slice of Life webcomic focusing on Ally, a young transgender woman, just living her life.
    Wildflowers A self proclaimed triggering comic dealing with suicide, depression, dysphoria and more.
    Check, Please! It’s a story about hockey and friendship and bros and trying to find yourself during the best 4 years of your life.

    I know I missed a few webcomics, and if anyone finds more, feel free to PM them to me with a brief description, and I will add them.


    And a picture made by the Giant to celebrate gay marriage legalization in America.

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    Last edited by Astrella; 2017-09-17 at 05:56 PM.
    I make avatars. Sometimes.
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  2. - Top - End - #2
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    JNAProductions's Avatar

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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #58: Will You be My Galpal?

    Just here to subscribe and offer well-wishes to everyone!
    I have a LOT of Homebrew!

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  3. - Top - End - #3
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Astrella's Avatar

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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #58: Will You be My Galpal?

    Djee, the threads have slowed down a lot though over the years haven't they? We used to go through these superfast in the past.
    I make avatars. Sometimes.
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    Titan in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #58: Will You be My Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by Astrella View Post
    Djee, the threads have slowed down a lot though over the years haven't they? We used to go through these superfast in the past.
    Yeah. On the one hand, I feel pretty good about knowing I'm not missing stuff in the rush to catch up. On the other hand, feels kinda sad.
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    My motto: Repensum Est Canicula.

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    I am not getting into a shootout with Golentan. Too many gun-arms.
    Leiningen will win, even if he must lose in the attempt.

    Credit to Astrella for the new party avatar.

  5. - Top - End - #5
    Orc in the Playground
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #58: Will You be My Galpal?

    Well, since there's a new thread, I may as well start posting again. It's been months.

    I was only able to work for a couple of weeks before I had to stop due to medical issues, namely fatigue. I had a cancer scare, but a couple days ago the tests came back normal. Leukemia would've been an answer to why I'm so tired all the time, though. My primary care physician has started using the term "chronic fatigue syndrome".

    The past few months haven't been completely empty, however. I've started going to a support group for trans women, and I'm having lunch with the ladies from that group every week.

    I've been thinking about continuing my education, this time for a job that wouldn't require much physical activity (since I can't handle much of that these days). I've been wanting to be an endocrinologist for a while, but I'm thinking of pursuing a degree in counseling instead, since that would be more realistic and I could still help other trans people. There's a school not far from my home that is CACREP accredited, but...it has a problem I can't talk about without violating certain board rules.

    Regardless of what path I choose, money will also be a problem. Most easy-to-get jobs require more physical activity or more interacting with strangers than I can stand. I've been thinking of reviving an old dream of being a writer to get just a bit of money, but starting out is always hard. I've been considering posting my poetry in these forums as a way to start. Getting the attention of even one or two people would be massively helpful.

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Colossus in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #58: Will You be My Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by golentan View Post
    Yeah. On the one hand, I feel pretty good about knowing I'm not missing stuff in the rush to catch up. On the other hand, feels kinda sad.
    Look at it this way-people are less in need of support, so they post less here. This is, after all, a support thread. When people are happy and content, they don't need support from the forums. (Though they might chime in to offer others support.)
    I have a LOT of Homebrew!

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  7. - Top - End - #7
    Ettin in the Playground
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #58: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    As is my personal new thread tradition, here is a rainbow cat:

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    Hail to the Lord of Death and Destruction!
    CATNIP FOR THE CAT GOD! YARN FOR THE YARN THRONE! MILK FOR THE MILK BOWL!

  8. - Top - End - #8
    Titan in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #58: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Shouldn't this be thread 59?

    And as for the slower ace, I think some of that also has to do with some of the bigger contributors no longer being on the boards.

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    A novella about a wizard and a rock star, cross-dimensional travel, and healing wounds neither knew were there.

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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by Astrella View Post
    It varies still a lit bit cause well, discomfort and I've been having some urinary issues but when no pain, yeah, it's pretty nice. Still a bit odd cause well, something's gone and different, but more in a "huh?" way, than a "oh no" way.
    Well, hopefully all those issues will be resolved soon, and the discomfort will go away. But yay being more comfortable with you in general!

    Quote Originally Posted by Astrella View Post
    Djee, the threads have slowed down a lot though over the years haven't they? We used to go through these superfast in the past.
    Yeah when I first popped in here, years ago, it went at a crazy pace. Two days off and I was reading through 8-10 pages of posts lol
    My Extended Signature, Check it out!

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    LGBTA+ Ally

  10. - Top - End - #10
    Orc in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #58: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by WarKitty View Post
    As is my personal new thread tradition, here is a rainbow cat:

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    I see your rainbow cat and raise you a rainbow cat fortress

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    anyone remember having these markers?
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    The One Sane Drow (Vergil: Drow Sorcerer 5, CN)
    The Uprise (IC/OOC) (Ker'anson: Drow Arcane Spellcaster 4, NE)

    Running Total Of Things I've Critically Hit That Jormengand Didn't Want Me To Critically Hit: 3



  11. - Top - End - #11
    Colossus in the Playground
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Remember? I still have 'em.

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    Colossus in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by Serpentine View Post
    Remember? I still have 'em.
    Doooooooork! :P

    Serious question though-do you use them, Serpentine? Like, to make awesome art? Because if so, you should definitely share your work! I'm always looking forward to seeing cool things drawn by cool people.

    As a side note, both those pictures were adorable.
    I have a LOT of Homebrew!

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    Dwarf in the Playground
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #58: Will You be My Galpal?

    Welp, just hit send on the email to my only blood relatives on this continent, telling them not to contact me again until they're prepared to do so with basic respect instead of disappointment and disgust. Which, knowing my parents, will be never.

    It sucks that I can't have them in my life any more because of their toxic prejudices and inability to keep their biases to themselves.

    It really sucks that they won't even have the decency to admit that they want to cut me out of their lives because they disapprove of me being gay: they will force me to be the "bad guy" and shun poor innocent them, who have never done a thing in the world to deserve such unfair treatment.
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    Firbolg in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #58: Will You be My Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by AliceLost View Post
    Welp, just hit send on the email to my only blood relatives on this continent, telling them not to contact me again until they're prepared to do so with basic respect instead of disappointment and disgust. Which, knowing my parents, will be never.

    It sucks that I can't have them in my life any more because of their toxic prejudices and inability to keep their biases to themselves.

    It really sucks that they won't even have the decency to admit that they want to cut me out of their lives because they disapprove of me being gay: they will force me to be the "bad guy" and shun poor innocent them, who have never done a thing in the world to deserve such unfair treatment.
    *hugs* It sucks that this had to happen, but continuing to keep up a toxic relationship is ultimately worse, I think.
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #58: Will You be My Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by AliceLost View Post
    Welp, just hit send on the email to my only blood relatives on this continent, telling them not to contact me again until they're prepared to do so with basic respect instead of disappointment and disgust. Which, knowing my parents, will be never.

    It sucks that I can't have them in my life any more because of their toxic prejudices and inability to keep their biases to themselves.

    It really sucks that they won't even have the decency to admit that they want to cut me out of their lives because they disapprove of me being gay: they will force me to be the "bad guy" and shun poor innocent them, who have never done a thing in the world to deserve such unfair treatment.
    *Offers all the hugs*

    I'm really sorry that you had to do that. Like CWater said, it's probably for the best, but it sucks that it had to come to this.

    If we can help, you just have to ask.
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    i just feel so stuck in terms of outcomes: my friends all express hope that my parents will come around and stop being toxic people, but the hardest parts of the last few years have been the times when they have seemed the most reasonable and I have built up hope that I'll be able to reestablish the positive relationship I had with them when I was a kid and before I came out, only to have that hope dashed when they go back to being ****ty again. The easiest parts have been when I haven't been in contact with them for a month or two. So chances are the more positive their reaction to this, the more difficult and painful it will be in the long term?

    But I can't stop hoping that their next reasonable response will be genuine and "stick". My mum replied this morning saying that she wanted time to consider what I had said, but that she wasn't ignoring me and that she still loves me. Which is on the face of it a very mature and reasonable response. I can't help hoping that there will be a positive outcome...but the more I hope the more dashed I become next time it all falls apart...
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  17. - Top - End - #17
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    All the hugs and support for you.

    As I've said many times before, I'm always available to talk. And toxic parents are something I can personally understand, having some myself.

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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    I can haz pm now?



    I'm feelin kind of sad.
    Last edited by ArlEammon; 2017-09-16 at 11:05 PM.

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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by ArlEammon View Post
    I can haz pm now?



    I'm feelin kind of sad.
    I see that you are constantly looking for someone to talk about your issues and insecurities.

    Have you ever considered doing therapy? It could really help you out in this aspect, a lot better than strangers in the net with a limited number of PMs could.
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  20. - Top - End - #20
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by Amazon View Post
    I see that you are constantly looking for someone to talk about your issues and insecurities.

    Have you ever considered doing therapy? It could really help you out in this aspect, a lot better than strangers in the net with a limited number of PMs could.
    I got it. A counselor, but his effectiveness can also only go so far.
    I see your point though.

  21. - Top - End - #21
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    I am stressed. I am planning a trip to see my long distance boyfriend (who I saw this May at my place) but I don't know if my passport will arrive in time for the planned trip, and I am scared of going out of the country and how people, aside from react to me being me, trans* and out, especially security and such, since I'm pre/non-op.
    Quote Originally Posted by Calanon View Post
    Raven_Cry's comments often have the effects of a +5 Tome of Understanding

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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ravens_cry View Post
    I am stressed. I am planning a trip to see my long distance boyfriend (who I saw this May at my place) but I don't know if my passport will arrive in time for the planned trip, and I am scared of going out of the country and how people, aside from react to me being me, trans* and out, especially security and such, since I'm pre/non-op.
    Can we do anything to help you de-stress? We'd hate for your trip to see your boyfriend get ruined because you're stressed over it.

    Also, *offers hugs*.
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by JNAProductions View Post
    Can we do anything to help you de-stress? We'd hate for your trip to see your boyfriend get ruined because you're stressed over it.

    Also, *offers hugs*.
    *takes and gives hugs gratefully* Just wait for it to happen. It's the anticipatory fears that get me the worst, I find. Once it's happening, I'll mostly be fine.
    Quote Originally Posted by Calanon View Post
    Raven_Cry's comments often have the effects of a +5 Tome of Understanding

  24. - Top - End - #24
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ravens_cry View Post
    *takes and gives hugs gratefully* Just wait for it to happen. It's the anticipatory fears that get me the worst, I find. Once it's happening, I'll mostly be fine.
    You got this. You'll have a wonderful time with a wonderful guy. Go play some games or something to take your mind off the future, and enjoy it when it becomes the present.

    Edit: As a side note, a friend just stood me up on a pre-arranged hanging out. It's not LGBT related, but I'm feeling kinda lonely right now. :(

    Hope everyone else is doing better.
    Last edited by JNAProductions; 2017-09-17 at 07:03 PM.
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by JNAProductions View Post
    You got this. You'll have a wonderful time with a wonderful guy. Go play some games or something to take your mind off the future, and enjoy it when it becomes the present.

    Edit: As a side note, a friend just stood me up on a pre-arranged hanging out. It's not LGBT related, but I'm feeling kinda lonely right now. :(

    Hope everyone else is doing better.
    Yeah, that happen, and even when there's a reasonable reason for it happening, it still hurts.
    Quote Originally Posted by Calanon View Post
    Raven_Cry's comments often have the effects of a +5 Tome of Understanding

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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Still here. Still trans.
    That is all.
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    So, I just found out that one of the folks in my game group is transphobic.

    Fun times.

    Guess he's in for a shock.

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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by AliceLost View Post
    Welp, just hit send on the email to my only blood relatives on this continent, telling them not to contact me again until they're prepared to do so with basic respect instead of disappointment and disgust. Which, knowing my parents, will be never.

    It sucks that I can't have them in my life any more because of their toxic prejudices and inability to keep their biases to themselves.

    It really sucks that they won't even have the decency to admit that they want to cut me out of their lives because they disapprove of me being gay: they will force me to be the "bad guy" and shun poor innocent them, who have never done a thing in the world to deserve such unfair treatment.
    Jeez, I'm so sorry to hear you've had to take that step. For what it's worth, I hope that ultimately their perspective will shift and they'll begin treating you with the respect and dignity you deserve.
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  29. - Top - End - #29
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    There's a show on commercial TV here called "This Time Next Year". They bring an Ordinary PersonTM on, ask them what they want to be/do/have/change by This Time Next YearTM, and then through the Magic of TelevisionTM they come back on with their grand transformation.

    I'm watching it for the first time ever, and there's a trans woman - what she wants This Time Next YearTM is to be living her life as female. And as far as I can tell, it's handled pretty well, no misgendering or anything that I've noticed so far.

  30. - Top - End - #30
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lentrax View Post
    So, I just found out that one of the folks in my game group is transphobic.

    Fun times.

    Guess he's in for a shock.
    Literally, right?
    No?
    That's probably better.
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