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  1. - Top - End - #31
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    I need... I dunno, advice? Just someone to read my ramblings?

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    Up until about two and a half years ago, I considered myself straight. I've always been attracted to girls but at the same time I've never been uncomfortable around boys. I've always liked hugging pretty much everyone and during my late teens me and a male friend made lots of crude sexual jokes (as teens do) about each other. It was in the spirit of "Haha, we can jokingly hit on each other because we so obviously don't mean it", but at the same time it wasn't like I felt it would be a bad thing if it later turned out that I actually could get attracted to guys.

    Well, cut to 2˝ years ago when I one night kinda realized that, yeah, I could actually see myself with a guy. I still hadn't ever fallen for a guy and my, ahem, browser history was still 99% women but a few men snuck in there "just to see" and I didn't find it half bad. So, while I still had a greater preference for women, I felt that men was a totally viable option as well.

    What stopped me from just slapping on a bi or pan label and calling it a day, however, was that I haven't felt romantic attraction for over a decade. Literally, the last time I had romantic feelings was in late 2005. That was also, as it happens, the only person I've had those feelings for, and it lasted for about three years in total. And as I was young and deathly afraid of being embarassed, all that didn't end well. The deatils aren't important, but suffice to say she obviously knew, but none of us ever talked about it because of its awkwardness, and as our friendship faded so did my feelings.

    That was the only time I've ever felt romantic attraction. It's not that I don't want to feel that way again; I still remember the warmth and happiness that sprung from it. I often fantisize about having a relationship, but with imaginary people since I can't think that way about anyone I know. I don't get "crushes" and I feel no need or motivation to persuade such things. Sex isn't even interesting, like yeah erotica is fun, but I have no desire or drive to actively try to experience it myself. I'm not against it if the opportunity ever presents itself, but it never has and it's not a bullet on the bucket list. So with all that in mind, a few months ago I sorta considered myself bisexual, biromantic in theory and aromantic in practice. Confusing, and weird, but it calmed my internal debate for most of the time.

    Now recently I moved to a new city to study. It's one of the busiest student cities in my country so I decided that I was going to go to a lot of events to try to make new acquaintances. One of these events was a LGBTQ group. So yesterday I went to their breakfast meeting. I had a good time and found a lot of common interests in one guy in particular. We talked for most of the meeting, and in the end we exchanged facebook contacts. We chatted some more the following hours, about board games and whatnot, until he suddenly wrote "Sorry, I'm really bad at flirting". I replied "Were you flirting with me?" because I honestly couldn't tell if he was being serious or not, and he replied "yes".

    This freaked me the **** out.

    Like I'm talking "immediately closed the chat window, paced around the room and started breathing harder" kind of freaking out. See, while I myself have never chased after sex or romance, neither has anyone ever approached me with it. I have never, in my life, been flirted at. And so I just didn't know how to handle this. In the few hours we'd known each other, I considered this person a new friend, and even though he complimented my looks a few times it never, ever, crossed my mind for even a fraction of a second that he was coming on to me.

    So, how did I handle this. Well... poorly, I'd say. I totally ignored him for 24 hours because I just didn't know what to say to him. He wrote me a "Did I overstep a boundry?" message that I only read from my notifications without opening it. I just couldn't think of a single thing to say to him, and I spent all of yesterday evening and most of today trying to figure it out. To be perfectly honest, I felt kind of betrayed. I had thought we were becoming friends, now I'm not so sure. Eventually, like an hour ago, I managed to cobble together some semblance of a reply. I appologized for ignoring him, told him I wasn't looking for anything other than friendship, he replied with a pretty standard "I understand, that's cool" response. I don't really know where things will go from here.

    The whole thing made me think, like, can I really call myself anything-romantic if someone lightly flirting with me freaks me out this much? Is it just that I'm not used to it, or am I actually... I don't know what to call it, romantically repulsed? I know sex repulsed asexuals are a thing, but I have no idea if there's an equivalent for romance. At the same time I'm kicking myself for handling the whole thing so poorly and just bailing on the guy. I'd like to think I'm a better person than that, but evidently not. And I'm super bummed that this happened with a person I thought could become a great friend.

    So... thoughts? Am I making any sense? Am I just an ***hole? Does anyone know any literature touching on anything like this? If you read all of this, thanks, even if you don't have any answers for me. I don't even know what kind of answers I'm looking for.
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  2. - Top - End - #32
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cizak View Post
    I need... I dunno, advice? Just someone to read my ramblings?

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    Up until about two and a half years ago, I considered myself straight. I've always been attracted to girls but at the same time I've never been uncomfortable around boys. I've always liked hugging pretty much everyone and during my late teens me and a male friend made lots of crude sexual jokes (as teens do) about each other. It was in the spirit of "Haha, we can jokingly hit on each other because we so obviously don't mean it", but at the same time it wasn't like I felt it would be a bad thing if it later turned out that I actually could get attracted to guys.

    Well, cut to 2˝ years ago when I one night kinda realized that, yeah, I could actually see myself with a guy. I still hadn't ever fallen for a guy and my, ahem, browser history was still 99% women but a few men snuck in there "just to see" and I didn't find it half bad. So, while I still had a greater preference for women, I felt that men was a totally viable option as well.

    What stopped me from just slapping on a bi or pan label and calling it a day, however, was that I haven't felt romantic attraction for over a decade. Literally, the last time I had romantic feelings was in late 2005. That was also, as it happens, the only person I've had those feelings for, and it lasted for about three years in total. And as I was young and deathly afraid of being embarassed, all that didn't end well. The deatils aren't important, but suffice to say she obviously knew, but none of us ever talked about it because of its awkwardness, and as our friendship faded so did my feelings.

    That was the only time I've ever felt romantic attraction. It's not that I don't want to feel that way again; I still remember the warmth and happiness that sprung from it. I often fantisize about having a relationship, but with imaginary people since I can't think that way about anyone I know. I don't get "crushes" and I feel no need or motivation to persuade such things. Sex isn't even interesting, like yeah erotica is fun, but I have no desire or drive to actively try to experience it myself. I'm not against it if the opportunity ever presents itself, but it never has and it's not a bullet on the bucket list. So with all that in mind, a few months ago I sorta considered myself bisexual, biromantic in theory and aromantic in practice. Confusing, and weird, but it calmed my internal debate for most of the time.

    Now recently I moved to a new city to study. It's one of the busiest student cities in my country so I decided that I was going to go to a lot of events to try to make new acquaintances. One of these events was a LGBTQ group. So yesterday I went to their breakfast meeting. I had a good time and found a lot of common interests in one guy in particular. We talked for most of the meeting, and in the end we exchanged facebook contacts. We chatted some more the following hours, about board games and whatnot, until he suddenly wrote "Sorry, I'm really bad at flirting". I replied "Were you flirting with me?" because I honestly couldn't tell if he was being serious or not, and he replied "yes".

    This freaked me the **** out.

    Like I'm talking "immediately closed the chat window, paced around the room and started breathing harder" kind of freaking out. See, while I myself have never chased after sex or romance, neither has anyone ever approached me with it. I have never, in my life, been flirted at. And so I just didn't know how to handle this. In the few hours we'd known each other, I considered this person a new friend, and even though he complimented my looks a few times it never, ever, crossed my mind for even a fraction of a second that he was coming on to me.

    So, how did I handle this. Well... poorly, I'd say. I totally ignored him for 24 hours because I just didn't know what to say to him. He wrote me a "Did I overstep a boundry?" message that I only read from my notifications without opening it. I just couldn't think of a single thing to say to him, and I spent all of yesterday evening and most of today trying to figure it out. To be perfectly honest, I felt kind of betrayed. I had thought we were becoming friends, now I'm not so sure. Eventually, like an hour ago, I managed to cobble together some semblance of a reply. I appologized for ignoring him, told him I wasn't looking for anything other than friendship, he replied with a pretty standard "I understand, that's cool" response. I don't really know where things will go from here.

    The whole thing made me think, like, can I really call myself anything-romantic if someone lightly flirting with me freaks me out this much? Is it just that I'm not used to it, or am I actually... I don't know what to call it, romantically repulsed? I know sex repulsed asexuals are a thing, but I have no idea if there's an equivalent for romance. At the same time I'm kicking myself for handling the whole thing so poorly and just bailing on the guy. I'd like to think I'm a better person than that, but evidently not. And I'm super bummed that this happened with a person I thought could become a great friend.

    So... thoughts? Am I making any sense? Am I just an ***hole? Does anyone know any literature touching on anything like this? If you read all of this, thanks, even if you don't have any answers for me. I don't even know what kind of answers I'm looking for.
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    I would say that your reaction was probably pretty understandable. Especially for someone who, as you yourself admitted, are unused to people flirting with you.

    As for what to do, well, probably talk to him. If he is as cool about it as you seem to think he might be, talking might help you become more comfortable with him. Stay with DMing on facebook. if you want to arrange a place to hang out, like a game store or any other kind of definite 'not-a-date' places, then by all means. After all, face to face communication is always so much better than just instant messaging.

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  3. - Top - End - #33
    Colossus in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cizak View Post
    I need... I dunno, advice? Just someone to read my ramblings?

    Spoiler
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    Up until about two and a half years ago, I considered myself straight. I've always been attracted to girls but at the same time I've never been uncomfortable around boys. I've always liked hugging pretty much everyone and during my late teens me and a male friend made lots of crude sexual jokes (as teens do) about each other. It was in the spirit of "Haha, we can jokingly hit on each other because we so obviously don't mean it", but at the same time it wasn't like I felt it would be a bad thing if it later turned out that I actually could get attracted to guys.

    Well, cut to 2˝ years ago when I one night kinda realized that, yeah, I could actually see myself with a guy. I still hadn't ever fallen for a guy and my, ahem, browser history was still 99% women but a few men snuck in there "just to see" and I didn't find it half bad. So, while I still had a greater preference for women, I felt that men was a totally viable option as well.

    What stopped me from just slapping on a bi or pan label and calling it a day, however, was that I haven't felt romantic attraction for over a decade. Literally, the last time I had romantic feelings was in late 2005. That was also, as it happens, the only person I've had those feelings for, and it lasted for about three years in total. And as I was young and deathly afraid of being embarassed, all that didn't end well. The deatils aren't important, but suffice to say she obviously knew, but none of us ever talked about it because of its awkwardness, and as our friendship faded so did my feelings.

    That was the only time I've ever felt romantic attraction. It's not that I don't want to feel that way again; I still remember the warmth and happiness that sprung from it. I often fantisize about having a relationship, but with imaginary people since I can't think that way about anyone I know. I don't get "crushes" and I feel no need or motivation to persuade such things. Sex isn't even interesting, like yeah erotica is fun, but I have no desire or drive to actively try to experience it myself. I'm not against it if the opportunity ever presents itself, but it never has and it's not a bullet on the bucket list. So with all that in mind, a few months ago I sorta considered myself bisexual, biromantic in theory and aromantic in practice. Confusing, and weird, but it calmed my internal debate for most of the time.

    Now recently I moved to a new city to study. It's one of the busiest student cities in my country so I decided that I was going to go to a lot of events to try to make new acquaintances. One of these events was a LGBTQ group. So yesterday I went to their breakfast meeting. I had a good time and found a lot of common interests in one guy in particular. We talked for most of the meeting, and in the end we exchanged facebook contacts. We chatted some more the following hours, about board games and whatnot, until he suddenly wrote "Sorry, I'm really bad at flirting". I replied "Were you flirting with me?" because I honestly couldn't tell if he was being serious or not, and he replied "yes".

    This freaked me the **** out.

    Like I'm talking "immediately closed the chat window, paced around the room and started breathing harder" kind of freaking out. See, while I myself have never chased after sex or romance, neither has anyone ever approached me with it. I have never, in my life, been flirted at. And so I just didn't know how to handle this. In the few hours we'd known each other, I considered this person a new friend, and even though he complimented my looks a few times it never, ever, crossed my mind for even a fraction of a second that he was coming on to me.

    So, how did I handle this. Well... poorly, I'd say. I totally ignored him for 24 hours because I just didn't know what to say to him. He wrote me a "Did I overstep a boundry?" message that I only read from my notifications without opening it. I just couldn't think of a single thing to say to him, and I spent all of yesterday evening and most of today trying to figure it out. To be perfectly honest, I felt kind of betrayed. I had thought we were becoming friends, now I'm not so sure. Eventually, like an hour ago, I managed to cobble together some semblance of a reply. I appologized for ignoring him, told him I wasn't looking for anything other than friendship, he replied with a pretty standard "I understand, that's cool" response. I don't really know where things will go from here.

    The whole thing made me think, like, can I really call myself anything-romantic if someone lightly flirting with me freaks me out this much? Is it just that I'm not used to it, or am I actually... I don't know what to call it, romantically repulsed? I know sex repulsed asexuals are a thing, but I have no idea if there's an equivalent for romance. At the same time I'm kicking myself for handling the whole thing so poorly and just bailing on the guy. I'd like to think I'm a better person than that, but evidently not. And I'm super bummed that this happened with a person I thought could become a great friend.

    So... thoughts? Am I making any sense? Am I just an ***hole? Does anyone know any literature touching on anything like this? If you read all of this, thanks, even if you don't have any answers for me. I don't even know what kind of answers I'm looking for.
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    Man, the first half of this could basically be describing me, except I'm more sexual.

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    My quick-description is straight, because that's most of my actual history and I certainly have all the privilege that comes with being straight. My less quick but still pretty quick description is heteroflexible, because I'm mostly straight and I tend to prefer sexual activities that involve penises (but don't mind if they're not attached to men), but I don't object to hooking up with or falling for a woman and don't want any woman who might be interested in me to rule me out as a whole category. My longer, half-tongue in cheek descriptor is... maybe something like bisexual demiheteroromantic.
    My long form is thusly: I have only fallen in love once before in my life, and it was a man. I deeply miss being in love, but the idea of trying to force it is bizarre and horrifying to me. There have been a handful of other people who I have felt the potential spark of romance for that never went anywhere, again all men, but there's so few that could just be a statistical anomaly type thing and/or unconscious social pressure. I haven't had any proper crushes for a while, but I do have them and enjoy them immensely. They tend to skew boywards, but I've had a few for girls, too. Despite one or two interesting experiences, I'm a bit shy or hesitant about sex with a vagina-haver, but I feel like that's more a "fear of the unknown" or other psychological barrier rather than a huge sexuality sign.
    I develop romantic feelings so rarely, there's no way I'm going run away from it if it happens to turn up with another woman, but statistically I predict that it's less likely (based on my history of one and a few nonstarters).


    Your reaction to someone flirting with you, when you didn't even know they were, raises a few questions for me.
    - I gather you've never been in a (declared) romantic relationship with anyone?
    - Have you had sex before? If so, have you had a sexual relationship sans romantic feelings (e.g. friends with benefits)?
    - What was the source of your panic and discomfort? Was it because it was a guy flirting with you, or because it was anyone flirting with you?
    - Was it just the flirting alone that caused your reaction, or did you have a suspicion or an expectation that it might - or he intended it to - lead to something romantic and/or sexual? If so, was him being a guy a factor there, or do you believe you have felt the same if he was a woman?
    - Were you enjoying your interactions with this guy until it was revealed that flirting was involved?
    - What are your feelings towards him now? Think about it calmly and with an open mind. Do you like him, want to be friends? Is there any hint of any non-platonic feelings, physical or romantic attraction?

    It's difficult to offer any advice without the answers to those questions. I also, personally, can't really relate to your reaction, because I'm a massive flirt (or I used to be, anyway, but that's an unrelated topic). Flirting is fun. It doesn't have to come with expectations or assumptions, it can just be another way of interacting playfully with others, and maybe giving yourself and others a bit of an ego boost. I do think your reaction to someone flirting with you was excessive, but I can't really say much more about that without knowing where it came from.

    With the other guy, you've already apologised, which is good. He might have been totally fine, but I could see that response being quite upsetting and a big blow to his self-esteem.
    Particularly if you do still like this guy and want to be friends with him, it might be worth talking to him about this. Basically everything that you've said here. It might be good for both of you.

  4. - Top - End - #34
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Serpentine View Post
    - I gather you've never been in a (declared) romantic relationship with anyone?
    Correct, no romantic relationships, declared or undeclared.

    - Have you had sex before? If so, have you had a sexual relationship sans romantic feelings (e.g. friends with benefits)?
    Nope, virgin. Don't feel a need to change that.

    - What was the source of your panic and discomfort? Was it because it was a guy flirting with you, or because it was anyone flirting with you?
    I don't know? Since this is 100% of my flirting experience and this is how I felt, it seems like it was the flirting itself, but then again that's not enough to build a statistic on.

    - Was it just the flirting alone that caused your reaction, or did you have a suspicion or an expectation that it might - or he intended it to - lead to something romantic and/or sexual? If so, was him being a guy a factor there, or do you believe you have felt the same if he was a woman?
    Well as soon as it was revealed he was flirting I thought he wanted more than friendship. Again, I have no clue if I would react to it differently if it was a guy. Before this whole thing, I thought I could see myself in a relationship with anyone. Now I'm not sure if it's guys I have a problem with or relationships themselves.

    - Were you enjoying your interactions with this guy until it was revealed that flirting was involved?
    Yeah. We shared a lot of common interests and had matured discussions. I was happy to have met someone who had the potential to be a good friend.

    - What are your feelings towards him now? Think about it calmly and with an open mind. Do you like him, want to be friends? Is there any hint of any non-platonic feelings, physical or romantic attraction?
    I'm honestly a bit turned off from interacting with him any further. I'm not sure I would be comfortable with developing a friendship based on this start. I a weird sense I do feel kinda threatened no that's probably a ***ty way to describe it, but cornered, wary. He's not a bad looking dude, I can state that "objectively", but I have absolutely no feelings or interest in anything non-platonic.

    Flirting is fun. It doesn't have to come with expectations or assumptions, it can just be another way of interacting playfully with others, and maybe giving yourself and others a bit of an ego boost.
    Substitute "flirting" for just "giving compliments" and I agree. My group of closest friends (all women) thrive on complimenting and telling each other how much we love each other. The difference there, I think, is that we can say those things to each other with the absolute certainty that they are 100% platonic. We are very open with our personal lives (I've shared things with them that I've never told anyone else) and all know that we can trust each other with anything without romance being involved.

    With the other guy, you've already apologised, which is good. He might have been totally fine, but I could see that response being quite upsetting and a big blow to his self-esteem.
    The last thing he wrote to me was "*Shrug* I'm used to all different kinds of reactions". Again, I have no idea what to respond. It took me 24 hours to come up with the message preceding that.
    Last edited by Cizak; 2017-09-19 at 05:14 PM.
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  5. - Top - End - #35
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    When I was hired at my last job they put me on front end to "get some male representation at the checkout line"....

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  6. - Top - End - #36
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Welp, had the conversation with my mum. Apparently I'm possessed by Satan.

    Not many directions you can go with that one, really.

    It's too distressing for my parents to have to see me like this, so they're going to restrict their contact with me to emails, because that's the least upsetting.

    Oh, and then not a couple of hours later my dad tried calling me, and emailed to say that this was difficult for me and them, but that they still cared about me and wanted to stay in touch and hear how my day was going and that I was okay, and hopefully he'd hear from me soon.
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  7. - Top - End - #37
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by AliceLost View Post
    Welp, had the conversation with my mum. Apparently I'm possessed by Satan.

    Not many directions you can go with that one, really.

    It's too distressing for my parents to have to see me like this, so they're going to restrict their contact with me to emails, because that's the least upsetting.

    Oh, and then not a couple of hours later my dad tried calling me, and emailed to say that this was difficult for me and them, but that they still cared about me and wanted to stay in touch and hear how my day was going and that I was okay, and hopefully he'd hear from me soon.
    Good to know he stil cares, maybe give your mom some time? This must be very overwhelming, for her :/ But I belive she still loves you deeply.

  8. - Top - End - #38
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by AliceLost View Post
    Welp, had the conversation with my mum. Apparently I'm possessed by Satan.

    Not many directions you can go with that one, really.

    It's too distressing for my parents to have to see me like this, so they're going to restrict their contact with me to emails, because that's the least upsetting.

    Oh, and then not a couple of hours later my dad tried calling me, and emailed to say that this was difficult for me and them, but that they still cared about me and wanted to stay in touch and hear how my day was going and that I was okay, and hopefully he'd hear from me soon.
    *Offers hugs.*

    I'm sorry to hear that. Hopefully your parents are able to become more understanding and tolerant over time.
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  9. - Top - End - #39
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by AliceLost View Post
    Welp, had the conversation with my mum. Apparently I'm possessed by Satan.

    Not many directions you can go with that one, really.

    It's too distressing for my parents to have to see me like this, so they're going to restrict their contact with me to emails, because that's the least upsetting.

    Oh, and then not a couple of hours later my dad tried calling me, and emailed to say that this was difficult for me and them, but that they still cared about me and wanted to stay in touch and hear how my day was going and that I was okay, and hopefully he'd hear from me soon.
    That could mean your dad is at least a little more understanding than your mom. Or, it might not. Hope things get better

  10. - Top - End - #40
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Hey, everybody.

    Just thought I would share with everyone that I will be going live on Twitch in about 20 minutes.

    Love to have everyone stop in and say hi.


    Love you all.

    Edit: And as always, life steps in to say, "Aww, hell no."
    Last edited by Lentrax; 2017-09-23 at 10:17 PM.

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  12. - Top - End - #42
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    So I have been going to therapy the past few weeks to try to solve my issues, it has been oddly helpful and I never felt this god.

    Too bad that good things don't last my therapist claims her type of therapy is a "short one" and if I won't to have a long term one I should seek another therapist... I probably just bored her to hell.

    Anyway, she gave me the contact of her friend who does long term therapy and I booked the first session(That is free) for this Wednesday, the fact that I'll have to tell everything again and start the whole process again is so horrible that makes me want to cry.

    My mom is still bad and sad, my dad is still a psyco, I still hate my existence and I'm boring and really considering taking Orcus advice and just go out with a prostitute instead of seeking someone who can care about me or understand my feelings.
    Good I feel like an edgy teen speaking about my feelings like that, I’m an adult now I should have grown past this “Sad and feelings phase”.

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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by Luz View Post
    So I have been going to therapy the past few weeks to try to solve my issues, it has been oddly helpful and I never felt this god.

    Too bad that good things don't last my therapist claims her type of therapy is a "short one" and if I won't to have a long term one I should seek another therapist... I probably just bored her to hell.

    Anyway, she gave me the contact of her friend who does long term therapy and I booked the first session(That is free) for this Wednesday, the fact that I'll have to tell everything again and start the whole process again is so horrible that makes me want to cry.

    My mom is still bad and sad, my dad is still a psyco, I still hate my existence and I'm boring and really considering taking Orcus advice and just go out with a prostitute instead of seeking someone who can care about me or understand my feelings.
    Good I feel like an edgy teen speaking about my feelings like that, I’m an adult now I should have grown past this “Sad and feelings phase”.
    No, you did not bore her. Don't think like that.

    Maybe send an email to your former therapist asking if they could forward a description of your situation to your new therapist?
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by Luz View Post
    So I have been going to therapy the past few weeks to try to solve my issues, it has been oddly helpful and I never felt this god.

    Too bad that good things don't last my therapist claims her type of therapy is a "short one" and if I won't to have a long term one I should seek another therapist... I probably just bored her to hell.

    Anyway, she gave me the contact of her friend who does long term therapy and I booked the first session(That is free) for this Wednesday, the fact that I'll have to tell everything again and start the whole process again is so horrible that makes me want to cry.

    My mom is still bad and sad, my dad is still a psyco, I still hate my existence and I'm boring and really considering taking Orcus advice and just go out with a prostitute instead of seeking someone who can care about me or understand my feelings.
    Good I feel like an edgy teen speaking about my feelings like that, I’m an adult now I should have grown past this “Sad and feelings phase”.
    I know talking about bad feelings sucks. I've been there, and it is still hard for me to open up about my depression. I just turned 33 and still have these sad feelings and crap rolling around in my head and have for 20 years now. It sucks and it is something I deal with every day. But something I have figured out over the years. That while it sucks to talk about things over and over again..... talking about things over and over again has helped. I've felt like nothing, like no one cared, like no one wanted to listen, like nothing I did or said mattered. Like my whole life was a lie and all my friends weren't actually my friends. They were just having pity on me because I was such a sad sack of ****. Like nothing about me was ever good enough and if I wasn't here tomorrow nobody would notice.

    But going to therapy, talking about it, getting those feelings out in the open and hearing other people talk about the same feelings I was having. All that helped me not feel alone and helped me connect with others that have the same problem as I do. You start to feel more connected and that this world and life isn't as bad as all that. Does it ever go away? Not for me at least. But I've learned to deal with it and handle what this dark shadow throws at me. I may get magical darkness cast on me, but I always have Daylight prepared.

    I don't know if these words will help, but I hope they do. All of the hugs and know that we're here for you.
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Well, I got some good news. The passport I was waiting for arrived today. Finally. I was getting sooooo stressed about it. I got other things to be stressed about, but I am glad that's out of the way.
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by EternalMelon View Post
    No, you did not bore her. Don't think like that.

    Maybe send an email to your former therapist asking if they could forward a description of your situation to your new therapist?
    That's.... Actually a great ideia! I don't know why i haven't toiugth about, thanks, you rock!

    Quote Originally Posted by Irish Musician View Post
    I know talking about bad feelings sucks. I've been there, and it is still hard for me to open up about my depression. I just turned 33 and still have these sad feelings and crap rolling around in my head and have for 20 years now. It sucks and it is something I deal with every day. But something I have figured out over the years. That while it sucks to talk about things over and over again..... talking about things over and over again has helped. I've felt like nothing, like no one cared, like no one wanted to listen, like nothing I did or said mattered. Like my whole life was a lie and all my friends weren't actually my friends. They were just having pity on me because I was such a sad sack of ****. Like nothing about me was ever good enough and if I wasn't here tomorrow nobody would notice.

    But going to therapy, talking about it, getting those feelings out in the open and hearing other people talk about the same feelings I was having. All that helped me not feel alone and helped me connect with others that have the same problem as I do. You start to feel more connected and that this world and life isn't as bad as all that. Does it ever go away? Not for me at least. But I've learned to deal with it and handle what this dark shadow throws at me. I may get magical darkness cast on me, but I always have Daylight prepared.

    I don't know if these words will help, but I hope they do. All of the hugs and know that we're here for you.
    It does help, I mean thanks to the few times I went to therapy I'm actually comfortable referring myself as "a gay person" and tpo what I have as “being gay” rather than "someone with a problem" and “my problem” that's like a huge step for me to improve myself and better accept who am I.

    But overall, I'm just so tired of being constantly tormented by guilt, sadness and pain.
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  17. - Top - End - #47
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by Luz View Post
    That's.... Actually a great ideia! I don't know why i haven't toiugth about, thanks, you rock!
    Just here to help.

    And if your Therapist can't forward anything, I believe you have an account of your situation typed out somewhere on this forum right? Maybe see if you can email that too.
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by Luz View Post
    It does help, I mean thanks to the few times I went to therapy I'm actually comfortable referring myself as "a gay person" and tpo what I have as “being gay” rather than "someone with a problem" and “my problem” that's like a huge step for me to improve myself and better accept who am I.

    But overall, I'm just so tired of being constantly tormented by guilt, sadness and pain.
    Spoiler: This painting best describe how I feel
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    I am very happy that it is helping you accept who you are. It is a process, even we'd like it to be more of a instant thing. We're always here for a listen.

    And that is how it feels for me too, sometimes, that picture. Like you're surrounded, things clawing at you. But you get better at grabbing your bat and beating them off you.
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  19. - Top - End - #49
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Well, I came out to most of my coworkers. Aside from one moment of confusion where she thought I had gone FtM, it went really well. One of them even offered to help me learn how to apply makeup.

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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lentrax View Post
    Well, I came out to most of my coworkers. Aside from one moment of confusion where she thought I had gone FtM, it went really well. One of them even offered to help me learn how to apply makeup.

    Yay!! Glad things went well.
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  21. - Top - End - #51
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    That's great news, Lentrax, I'm glad. :)

    Sorry I've barely been around folks; have had to deal with a UTI and just recovery's sapping a lot of energy in general. Been doing better though and everything's going okay recovery wise, so that's good. :)
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  22. - Top - End - #52
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lentrax View Post
    Well, I came out to most of my coworkers. Aside from one moment of confusion where she thought I had gone FtM, it went really well. One of them even offered to help me learn how to apply makeup.
    Glad to hear it went well!
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lentrax View Post
    Well, I came out to most of my coworkers. Aside from one moment of confusion where she thought I had gone FtM, it went really well. One of them even offered to help me learn how to apply makeup.
    Congrats! Glad it went well.

    Quote Originally Posted by Astrella View Post
    That's great news, Lentrax, I'm glad. :)

    Sorry I've barely been around folks; have had to deal with a UTI and just recovery's sapping a lot of energy in general. Been doing better though and everything's going okay recovery wise, so that's good. :)
    That sucks. I'd guess that's probably one of the most common complications? I'm glad you're starting to feel better.
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  24. - Top - End - #54
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by noparlpf View Post
    That sucks. I'd guess that's probably one of the most common complications? I'm glad you're starting to feel better.
    Yeah, it's a common complication. Was just a tad annoyed cause when I went to my scheduled check up with the surgeon I'd already been having issues with it for 5ish days and they just told me that it was irritation and I should drink more water. (And I was already drinking a liter and a half a day on top of everything else I drink) Didn't get better so I had to go to the GP for it and got antibiotics prescribed after she ran some tests.
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  25. - Top - End - #55
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by Astrella View Post
    Yeah, it's a common complication. Was just a tad annoyed cause when I went to my scheduled check up with the surgeon I'd already been having issues with it for 5ish days and they just told me that it was irritation and I should drink more water. (And I was already drinking a liter and a half a day on top of everything else I drink) Didn't get better so I had to go to the GP for it and got antibiotics prescribed after she ran some tests.
    Wow, that's just...dumb. You'd think that for a totally foreseeable thing like a UTI they'd at least listen when a patient is showing signs. I'm sorry.
    Jude P.

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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    @me opens a bathroom door.
    @me encounters somebody who looks male!
    . o O (Eek!!)
    @me freezes for two seconds in alarm, then realizes the other person looks more likely to be highly gender nonconforming AFAB.
    (@me is a transgender woman with passing privilege presenting femme...)
    (@me is an activist dealing with a bathroom bill...)
    @me spends the next twenty minutes sorting through confused feels about her reaction to the situation.
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by JusticeZero View Post
    @me opens a bathroom door.
    @me encounters somebody who looks male!
    . o O (Eek!!)
    @me freezes for two seconds in alarm, then realizes the other person looks more likely to be highly gender nonconforming AFAB.
    (@me is a transgender woman with passing privilege presenting femme...)
    (@me is an activist dealing with a bathroom bill...)
    @me spends the next twenty minutes sorting through confused feels about her reaction to the situation.
    Is it bad that I chuckled? It feels like a twisted setup from some sitcom about trans folks.

    Honestly, I think this is just a further argument for all-gender bathrooms.

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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by JusticeZero View Post
    @me opens a bathroom door.
    @me encounters somebody who looks male!
    . o O (Eek!!)
    @me freezes for two seconds in alarm, then realizes the other person looks more likely to be highly gender nonconforming AFAB.
    (@me is a transgender woman with passing privilege presenting femme...)
    (@me is an activist dealing with a bathroom bill...)
    @me spends the next twenty minutes sorting through confused feels about her reaction to the situation.
    @me turns out all the lights.
    It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a Grue.
    LGBTitp

  29. - Top - End - #59
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Current occurrences involving me in some manner: The One Sane Drow (Vergil: Drow Sorcerer 5, CN)
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by Asmodean_ View Post
    I am physically incapable of rolling my eyes hard enough to do it justice.

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