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  1. - Top - End - #151
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    DwarfFighterGuy

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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by golentan View Post
    So wasn't sure if I should talk about this, or not, but it's been on my mind.

    About a year ago I think, my girlfriend realized she was poly. And we talked about it and set some ground rules, but basically I gave her the green light that yes, I still loved her, and yes, I was okay with her seeing other people.

    A couple weeks ago, she introduced me to her new girlfriend. And... the lady is really great. Funny, kind, smart, cute. Aaand I realized I have kind of a crush on her myself. And apparently vice versa.

    And I'm just not really sure how to deal with this. This is all outside of my wheelhouse. And sex stuff is scary just in general for me, as I've opined about over the years here.

    For the time being, we're being friends and seeing what if anything develops.
    Well, you're over one big hurdle. Being able to be friends with, or at least friendly with and not jealous of, your partner's partners is a big step towards being successfully poly.

    Regarding anything else, I have no advice to give. Just make sure that whatever happens, you watch out for each others' feelings. Make sure nothing new that happens hurts anybody in the process. Take it slow and keep talking to each other throughout.

  2. - Top - End - #152
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by golentan View Post
    For the time being, we're being friends and seeing what if anything develops.
    I think that's the best way to do it. Take it easy, see how things happen, deal with whatever comes up and communicate a lot. And enjoy the feeling of being around great people and seeing them happy :)

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  3. - Top - End - #153
    Ettin in the Playground
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by golentan View Post
    So wasn't sure if I should talk about this, or not, but it's been on my mind.

    About a year ago I think, my girlfriend realized she was poly. And we talked about it and set some ground rules, but basically I gave her the green light that yes, I still loved her, and yes, I was okay with her seeing other people.

    A couple weeks ago, she introduced me to her new girlfriend. And... the lady is really great. Funny, kind, smart, cute. Aaand I realized I have kind of a crush on her myself. And apparently vice versa.

    And I'm just not really sure how to deal with this. This is all outside of my wheelhouse. And sex stuff is scary just in general for me, as I've opined about over the years here.

    For the time being, we're being friends and seeing what if anything develops.
    One of the advantages of a poly relationship is that if you find "sex stuff is scary," but your partners don't, then they can satisfy each other physically without pushing you somewhere uncomfortable. I know some asexual polyromantic people use it to make relationships with sexual people work.

  4. - Top - End - #154
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by 137ben View Post
    One of the advantages of a poly relationship is that if you find "sex stuff is scary," but your partners don't, then they can satisfy each other physically without pushing you somewhere uncomfortable. I know some asexual polyromantic people use it to make relationships with sexual people work.
    While it's true that there is less pressure to be sexual when there is no expectation of exclusivity, I think it's good to keep in mind that it's not a miracle solution either. The sexual partner may not be comfortable being non-monogamous, for instance, or may feel that their need for intimacy with a specific person cannot be filled with a different person.

    I do agree with you that polyamory can allow for more of a... "let's make our own rules" rather than trying to fit into the established, one-size-fits-all ones though. (This is also true of monogamy, but less obviously so).
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  5. - Top - End - #155
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Yes hello, I think my sexuality is defective. Where can I get a new one?
    Jude P.

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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by noparlpf View Post
    Yes hello, I think my sexuality is defective. Where can I get a new one?
    Defective? No, it's just sleeping!

    It's pining for the fjords!

  7. - Top - End - #157
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by noparlpf View Post
    Yes hello, I think my sexuality is defective. Where can I get a new one?
    What do you mean by 'defective'? I mean, there's such a huge variety.
    "We were once so close to heaven, Peter came out and gave us medals declaring us 'The nicest of the damned'.."
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  8. - Top - End - #158
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    I'd kind of like to be either properly asexual or properly straight. And like, not have probably CPTSD.
    Jude P.

  9. - Top - End - #159
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Well I'd maybe prefer to be either a cis guy or an MTF girl rather than this confusing mix of both.
    LGBTitp

  10. - Top - End - #160
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by noparlpf View Post
    I'd kind of like to be either properly asexual or properly straight. And like, not have probably CPTSD.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dire Moose View Post
    Well I'd maybe prefer to be either a cis guy or an MTF girl rather than this confusing mix of both.
    *Offers hugs to you both*

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  11. - Top - End - #161
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Hey all!

    I'm new to this thread (I usually stick to the 3e subforum), but I wanted to express my thanks to all of you. Today I came out as a woman to my mother. I had been looking forward to getting my own apartment so that I could be myself, and then a few days before halloween, I followed a link from someone's sig to this thread. Hearing about your stories, and especially those cute pictures of Dire Moose and Mystic Muse I think gave me just enough courage to think that maybe I could do it, too. So I did!

    Anyway, I won't bore you all with my life story. I just wanted to thank you all for being here, and being supportive and positive, even for a lurker like me ^^

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  12. - Top - End - #162
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by noparlpf View Post
    I'd kind of like to be either properly asexual or properly straight. And like, not have probably CPTSD.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dire Moose View Post
    Well I'd maybe prefer to be either a cis guy or an MTF girl rather than this confusing mix of both.
    Hugs for Both of you, Internal stuggles suck, I hope you two find a solution that fits for you. Or at least finds peace with not having one.
    Quote Originally Posted by GilesTheCleric View Post
    Hey all!

    I'm new to this thread (I usually stick to the 3e subforum), but I wanted to express my thanks to all of you. Today I came out as a woman to my mother. I had been looking forward to getting my own apartment so that I could be myself, and then a few days before halloween, I followed a link from someone's sig to this thread. Hearing about your stories, and especially those cute pictures of Dire Moose and Mystic Muse I think gave me just enough courage to think that maybe I could do it, too. So I did!

    Anyway, I won't bore you all with my life story. I just wanted to thank you all for being here, and being supportive and positive, even for a lurker like me ^^
    Congrats! Feel free to stick around :D
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  13. - Top - End - #163
    Ettin in the Playground
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by noparlpf View Post
    I'd kind of like to be either properly asexual or properly straight. And like, not have probably CPTSD.
    I feel ya, internal struggles are hard. Hugs all around.
    Quote Originally Posted by GilesTheCleric View Post
    Hey all!

    I'm new to this thread (I usually stick to the 3e subforum), but I wanted to express my thanks to all of you. Today I came out as a woman to my mother. I had been looking forward to getting my own apartment so that I could be myself, and then a few days before halloween, I followed a link from someone's sig to this thread. Hearing about your stories, and especially those cute pictures of Dire Moose and Mystic Muse I think gave me just enough courage to think that maybe I could do it, too. So I did!

    Anyway, I won't bore you all with my life story. I just wanted to thank you all for being here, and being supportive and positive, even for a lurker like me ^^
    Congratulations!

  14. - Top - End - #164
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    A page I track had an actually really interesting explanation of childbirth involving a balloon and a ping pong ball. Which was pretty interesting up to the point where I had a twinge of jealousy and bang, instant waterworks and wailing and gnashing of teeth. uuugh.

    also, I wish I could post pictures, but I don't have any of the sorts of accounts anywhere that I would be able to do that, since I need to post stuff like that so very rarely. sigh.
    "We were once so close to heaven, Peter came out and gave us medals declaring us 'The nicest of the damned'.."
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  15. - Top - End - #165
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Thank you, EternalMelon and 137ben!

    Quote Originally Posted by JusticeZero View Post
    also, I wish I could post pictures, but I don't have any of the sorts of accounts anywhere that I would be able to do that, since I need to post stuff like that so very rarely. sigh.
    I moved to PostImage from photobucket, after the latter removed the ability to direct link to images. I believe PostImage doesn't require an account to post things if you don't want to make one.

    Here's one of me from a few years back. I was trying out one of my friend's wigs before going to a club.

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  16. - Top - End - #166
    Ettin in the Playground
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by JusticeZero View Post
    A page I track had an actually really interesting explanation of childbirth involving a balloon and a ping pong ball. Which was pretty interesting up to the point where I had a twinge of jealousy and bang, instant waterworks and wailing and gnashing of teeth. uuugh.

    also, I wish I could post pictures, but I don't have any of the sorts of accounts anywhere that I would be able to do that, since I need to post stuff like that so very rarely. sigh.
    imgur does not require an account to upload pictures.

  17. - Top - End - #167
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by GilesTheCleric View Post
    Hey all!

    I'm new to this thread (I usually stick to the 3e subforum), but I wanted to express my thanks to all of you. Today I came out as a woman to my mother. I had been looking forward to getting my own apartment so that I could be myself, and then a few days before halloween, I followed a link from someone's sig to this thread. Hearing about your stories, and especially those cute pictures of Dire Moose and Mystic Muse I think gave me just enough courage to think that maybe I could do it, too. So I did!

    Anyway, I won't bore you all with my life story. I just wanted to thank you all for being here, and being supportive and positive, even for a lurker like me ^^
    Thank you, and glad we could help. :)
    LGBTitp

  18. - Top - End - #168
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    OrcBarbarianGirl

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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?


    Nifty. Have a picture. I'm about to go out on a date, so maybe I will get another one tonight sometime. This one is more an experiment.
    "We were once so close to heaven, Peter came out and gave us medals declaring us 'The nicest of the damned'.."
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  19. - Top - End - #169
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by JusticeZero View Post

    Nifty. Have a picture. I'm about to go out on a date, so maybe I will get another one tonight sometime. This one is more an experiment.
    Good luck on your date! I'm jealous of your hair. I used to have long hair, but made a terrible decision to cut it.

    Which leads me to ask: what should I do about wigs? I've got two, a brunette one and a fun purple one, but I'd really prefer to have long blonde hair again. Should I try to pick just one wig to wear all the time? I like having the flexibility to match my hair with my outfit without fussing with dye all the time (plus all the blue, green, and purple dyes I like never keep their colour very long), but folks would clearly notice if I'm changing my hair like that.

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  20. - Top - End - #170
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lissou View Post
    While it's true that there is less pressure to be sexual when there is no expectation of exclusivity, I think it's good to keep in mind that it's not a miracle solution either. The sexual partner may not be comfortable being non-monogamous, for instance, or may feel that their need for intimacy with a specific person cannot be filled with a different person.

    I do agree with you that polyamory can allow for more of a... "let's make our own rules" rather than trying to fit into the established, one-size-fits-all ones though. (This is also true of monogamy, but less obviously so).
    Yeah. And I don't wanna give up on being a sexual being. I just have a lot of trauma around that whole... mess of issues.

    In part, I'm just confused because... I feel really comfortable around the new lady. But this is a new experience on all fronts and I'm not at my best around new experiences and emotions. I was pretty sure that whatever Mira did, I'd be strictly monogamous. But now I'm not sure, and I'm sorting through a whole host of confusion and doubts.

    That said, her oscillating between total openness and total shyness kind of works well, since we usually have an outbreak of the shys at around the same time and retreat to hide under blankets and make cocoa.
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  21. - Top - End - #171
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Well, it had to be done:

    LGBTitp

  22. - Top - End - #172
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Justice, how did your date go, if I may ask?

    Quote Originally Posted by Dire Moose View Post
    Well, it had to be done:
    -snip-
    So is the moose or t-rex your spirit animal? And, was that outdoors? And if so, how are you not freezing? I've been wearing about three layers plus a jacket to stay warm.

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  23. - Top - End - #173
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    I live in Phoenix, so November is actually very comfortable here. Even our winters are fairly mild; it's the summer heat that will really kill you in the desert.

    I've been a dinosaur but since I was a little kid, so the T. rex is closer. Moose started out as a silly running gag and that was pretty much it.

    My favorite animal however is actually the Stegosaurus.


    And just as a reminder, I'm genderfluid, which means I still like being a boy too. Like this Halloween for example:



    My wife is totally fine with me being either way, mind you:

    Last edited by Dire Moose; 2017-11-06 at 09:54 PM.
    LGBTitp

  24. - Top - End - #174
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    OrcBarbarianGirl

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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Date night went fine. We have been together for nine years, married eight and a half, but sometimes we just have to go out and spend time together. I dressed up nice, he threw something clean on and whined that I was overdressed compared to him, we went to see Hitman's Bodyguard (recommend) and dinner.

    Yesterday was vaguely odd. To me, anyways. I'm not used to trying to figure out if social situations are charged, and I had an elderly client ask me to take him to lunch, acted unusually chivalrous, talked about his separation from his wife. I went to the bathroom, came back and he wasn't there, nothing odd, then he came back and said that I had been in the bathroom so long he went looking for me. I paused to put makeup on again, but I didn't take THAT long... O... Kay? That added to the strange behavior of the gas attendant in the morning who had raced out to give me my receipt unasked, babbled out a brief and hurried pleasantry that misgendered me twice ('man' and 'dude'), and fled back into the station before I could even react. Weird, ambiguous, less than appropriate reactions that I just can't quite puzzle out.
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    Last edited by JusticeZero; 2017-11-07 at 10:03 AM.

  25. - Top - End - #175
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Aaaand my husband just got fired because he had to take time out too many times to bail out our daughter and her lack of preparation....
    "We were once so close to heaven, Peter came out and gave us medals declaring us 'The nicest of the damned'.."
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  26. - Top - End - #176
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by Dire Moose View Post
    I live in Phoenix, so November is actually very comfortable here. Even our winters are fairly mild; it's the summer heat that will really kill you in the desert.

    I've been a dinosaur but since I was a little kid, so the T. rex is closer. Moose started out as a silly running gag and that was pretty much it.

    My favorite animal however is actually the Stegosaurus.
    -snip-

    And just as a reminder, I'm genderfluid, which means I still like being a boy too. Like this Halloween for example:
    -snip-

    My wife is totally fine with me being either way, mind you:
    -snip-
    I used to live in NM, but in the winters and at night it was always very cold. Maybe I just have a low tolerance for weather >>

    Looks like you went as Luke from Return?

    Quote Originally Posted by JusticeZero View Post
    Date night went fine. We have been together for nine years, married eight and a half, but sometimes we just have to go out and spend time together. I dressed up nice, he threw something clean on and whined that I was overdressed compared to him, we went to see Hitman's Bodyguard (recommend) and dinner.

    Yesterday was vaguely odd. To me, anyways. I'm not used to trying to figure out if social situations are charged, and I had an elderly client ask me to take him to lunch, acted unusually chivalrous, talked about his separation from his wife. I went to the bathroom, came back and he wasn't there, nothing odd, then he came back and said that I had been in the bathroom so long he went looking for me. I paused to put makeup on again, but I didn't take THAT long... O... Kay? That added to the strange behavior of the gas attendant in the morning who had raced out to give me my receipt unasked, babbled out a brief and hurried pleasantry that misgendered me twice ('man' and 'dude'), and fled back into the station before I could even react. Weird, ambiguous, less than appropriate reactions that I just can't quite puzzle out.
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    Oh, I had never considered married folks going on a date. That's a clever idea.

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    Quote Originally Posted by JusticeZero View Post
    Aaaand my husband just got fired because he had to take time out too many times to bail out our daughter and her lack of preparation....
    Oh no! That's really abrupt and sad I don't understand why the bosses didn't understand that.
    Last edited by GilesTheCleric; 2017-11-07 at 08:31 PM.

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  27. - Top - End - #177
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    The Federal Constitutional Court just decided that it is unconstitutional to force intersex people to pick either male or female or leave the gender marker blank (which was only possible for intersex children born after 2013, as far as I know), which means Germany will get an official third gender marker (probably “inter” or “divers”).

    I’m really happy for intersex people, I just really, really hope this gender marker will not be limited to intersex people but also available to non intersex nonbinary and genderqueer people.

    (I’m also really proud of the intersex person who sued for this; they didn’t give up when their lawsuit failed in every instance up to the Federal Court of Justice and who then took it to the Federal Constitutional Court who finally decided that they are right. Sometimes the determination of a single person is what is needed to get things to change.)
    You can call me Juniper.
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  28. - Top - End - #178
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lycunadari View Post
    The Federal Constitutional Court just decided that it is unconstitutional to force intersex people to pick either male or female or leave the gender marker blank (which was only possible for intersex children born after 2013, as far as I know), which means Germany will get an official third gender marker (probably “inter” or “divers”).

    I’m really happy for intersex people, I just really, really hope this gender marker will not be limited to intersex people but also available to non intersex nonbinary and genderqueer people.

    (I’m also really proud of the intersex person who sued for this; they didn’t give up when their lawsuit failed in every instance up to the Federal Court of Justice and who then took it to the Federal Constitutional Court who finally decided that they are right. Sometimes the determination of a single person is what is needed to get things to change.)
    Yay for Germany! Maybe someday within our lifetime, all of society will finally reject the gender binary, and people will be able to just be themselves.

    [edit: self-scrubbed]
    Last edited by GilesTheCleric; 2017-11-08 at 07:24 PM.

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  29. - Top - End - #179
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    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Quote Originally Posted by GilesTheCleric View Post
    Yay for Germany! Maybe someday within our lifetime, all of society will finally reject the gender binary, and people will be able to just be themselves.

    On a sadder, mostly-unrelated note, I was talking to my boss today. He suggested that I apply for a concealed carry permit (in the USA, it's pretty easy to get), because there's scary intolerant folks here (Indiana). I don't know if I want to have a gun, though. It seems more dangerous to have one than to not have one. What do you all think?
    I actually live in Indiana too. This is probably not board appropriate thought. You could add me on Skype if you want to discuss it?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cobra Ikari
    ...yeah, I'm basically gonna use you as my example to explain how White, as a color of magic, can represent pure evil. =P
    My extended Homebrew Signature
    My Monster Classes. Taking requests! Come give it a look.

  30. - Top - End - #180
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Asmodean_'s Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Location
    Within 2 range increments
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

    Current occurrences involving me in some manner: The One Sane Drow (Vergil: Drow Sorcerer 5, CN)
    The Uprise (IC/OOC) (Ker'anson: Drow Arcane Spellcaster 4, NE)
    Running Total Of Things I've Critically Hit That Jormengand Didn't Want Me To Critically Hit: 3


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