Stuff I just don't understand, post here yours.

[Peelee]

I may well be more annoyed at it than I really should be. My dad had a small elitist attitude that favored the highly educated, and I won't deny that it rubbed off on me somewhat.

Also, to be fair, a job where you get to read all day would be nice. Lemme know if you ever find one.

[Mith]

I may well be more annoyed at it than I really should be. My dad had a small elitist attitude that favored the highly educated, and I won't deny that it rubbed off on me somewhat.

Also, to be fair, a job where you get to read all day would be nice. Lemme know if you ever find one.

Full time book critic and editor?

[Peelee]

Full time book critic and editor?

I could be a book critic.

[factotum]

Full time book critic and editor?

The only problem there is that, by definition, you're going to be spending a lot of your time reading *bad* books. You couldn't pick up Eragon and drop it after 30 pages because your eyes were bleeding, you'd have to go through the whole thing!

[A.A.King]

I may well be more annoyed at it than I really should be. My dad had a small elitist attitude that favored the highly educated, and I won't deny that it rubbed off on me somewhat.

Also, to be fair, a job where you get to read all day would be nice. Lemme know if you ever find one.

Comment Moderator? Professional Spell Checker (if that is still a thing)? Proofreader is certainly still a thing thought right?

I think there is a fair number of jobs out there where you not only get to but have to read all day everyday. Or at least, most of the time (there will always be some part of your job revolving around reacting to the things you read, a critic for example would also have to write reviews and can't just read).

Maybe Audiobook narrator? You get to read [outloud] the whole day. I think that's the closest you can get to just reading and not reacting.

However, it is still easy to think of jobs where your main activity is to read things all day.

[Knaight]

Full time book critic and editor?

Those are both heavy on writing as well as reading.

[The Fury]

The only problem there is that, by definition, you're going to be spending a lot of your time reading *bad* books. You couldn't pick up Eragon and drop it after 30 pages because your eyes were bleeding, you'd have to go through the whole thing!

Sure you could. Considering that the function of a literary critic is to inform people about books so they'd get an idea of whether or not they'd enjoy them, if you were to write, "After reading 30 pages my eyes started to bleed. It's probably cursed or something. I cannot recommend this book to anyone," your readers will have learned what they need to know to make an informed decision.

[Peelee]

Sure you could. Considering that the function of a literary critic is to inform people about books so they'd get an idea of whether or not they'd enjoy them, if you were to write, "After reading 30 pages my eyes started to bleed. It's probably cursed or something. I cannot recommend this book to anyone," your readers will have learned what they need to know to make an informed decision.

Jorge Luis Borges on Ulysses: "I confess that I have not cleared a path through all 700 pages, I confess to having examined only bits and pieces, and yet I know what it is, with that bold and legitimate certainty with which we assert our knowledge of a city, without ever having been rewarded with the intimacy of all the many streets it includes."

To be fair, though, it is James Joyce.

[koza]

I don't get how people could not care about the list hygiene.

[truemane]

Fragile masculinity. I mean, I GET it, but it's still very strange to me that the archetypical "MAN" is tough and rough and and independent and a cool, collected lone wolf who doesn't give a crap what anyone thinks and yet such a man walks a veritable mine field of things he BETTER NEVER EVER DO, from crying to urinating while sitting to realizing dishes need doing without being told to drinking alcohol that tastes like fruit to watching movies without three-day stubble in them, or else his man card is REVOKED forever.

Again, I get it. But the sheer obviousness of the contradiction has always confused me ever since I was old enough to realize it existed.

[Sivarias]

Fragile masculinity. I mean, I GET it, but it's still very strange to me that the archetypical "MAN" is tough and rough and and independent and a cool, collected lone wolf who doesn't give a crap what anyone thinks and yet such a man walks a veritable mine field of things he BETTER NEVER EVER DO, from crying to urinating while sitting to realizing dishes need doing without being told to drinking alcohol that tastes like fruit to watching movies without three-day stubble in them, or else his man card is REVOKED forever.

Again, I get it. But the sheer obviousness of the contradiction has always confused me ever since I was old enough to realize it existed.

It's a combination of factors.

First is that this was the behavior that was necessary to attract mates. It's a hold over for when women actively selected for these criteria. They didn't want men who reminded them of their female friends. The male/female dichotomy was much more of a ... well, dichotomy Now it's a much more passive thing. While people want to pretend that their much more mature than that now-a-days, for the majority of cases the more masculine a man is, the more attractive he seems. (The same is true both inverted, and reversed). Again, this is just a balance of probability cases.

The second thing you need to remember, the assumption isn't that "men don't cry". It's not attractive for a man to have to hold back tears, then he's just pretending. The attractive thing is the man who is so stoic that he doesn't even feel the need to cry. He can't be hurt by petty emotional problems or physical insecurities. The bottling concept is just other men trying to force that image of primal masculinity, which is what causes a lot of the senseless head shaking.

It's essentially aping behavior without understanding the principles behind them.

Me? I'm too emotional to pull off that stoic crap. I get goofy and excited, I cry during powerful emotional scenes. I don't sob, but tears definitely come down. I just embrace that as who I am, and the fact that I am me, and not trying to be anyone else is what makes me attractive (to my wife anyway ). It's part of the whole "be yourself" thing, the part that is always left out but implied (and therefore communicated clearly to most feminine communicators) is to be the best version of yourself. They aren't saying embrace the fact that you are 100lbs overweight and play WoW 18 hours a day. No! Get in good physical shape (sub 20% BF minimum). You don't have to go play sportsball, or even enjoy sportsball, (I certainly don't). Play WoW if you enjoy that (I play MtG as well as D&D, obviously ), but don't let it dominate your life. Be productive, and look good doing it. Believe in yourself and project that confidence.

Sorry about the soapbox, I've done a lot of research on this (nothing peer reviewed, just marking trends in behaviors across several stories) and frankly this is the message that I wish an older male had shoved down my throat when I was in middle and high school. Luckily I'm still mid-twenties so I have some time to catch up on this without fighting my age. I've got friends who didn't learn this until they were 40 and it's a lot harder to start dropping 100lbs or more at that age.

[2D8HP]

Fragile....

....existed.

Holdovers from more war-filled times

Spoiler: My "education"

Show

My school years were in the 1970's and '80's, so I'm unsure if there much lessons to be drawn, as (I hope) things are different now, but basically elementary/junior high school I remember as lots of unsupervised time where they would set us loose, or "PE" which would be tennis and volleyball for the girls, and unsupervised "smear the queer" for the boys, you can "Google" the "rules", but I remember the "game" as being basically acting out a lynch mob posse against whomever brave/bold/unlucky guy had the ball, or every so often a circle would form with two guys in the center who the rest elected to have a fist fight, most of the time if you were elected both of you would try to play act it out just enough to not receive a beating for "fakin'" (so a narrow line), but at least once a year some scared or mean boy would fight enough to draw blood, and someone would go to the school nurse, I have no memories of adults every putting a stop to it, my solution during my last year of Junior High School was to leave school most every day, and walk a mile to go to the library (I was an avid reader).

My High School had over 3,000 students (that's more people than two of my Union Locals have had working members),and thankfully High School didn't have that kind of scheduled violence (unless you played football), but I experienced s worse single incidence of violence. My High School had an "open campus" meaning you"d leave to eat lunch (or to use a restroom with doors and paper, I would go to City Hall), and one day just outside of school I was knocked unconscious by a group of boys who I didn't recognize, I returned to class late and bruised (ironically the class was an "Elective" "Criminal Law" class that was taught by a teacher who had gone to Law School but never passed the BAR exam (I actually do remember his teaching us how he avoided being drafted by the Army, so I did learn something other than ducking and dodging after all!). The teacher saw my condition, asked me what happened, and then told me, "That's what you get for walking alone", more than 30 years later I'm still bitter about the physical violence from some of my fellow teenagers, and the social violence of being accused of "not really living here" because I knew nothing of a ski shop that the hills kids frequented (even though I dropped/tested out early I was an "honor student' at first and was moved from the "track" that most of my fellow flatlanders were in to the "track" that most of the richer kids were in), my fellow students in the "advanced" track were clear to me that I "didn't belong", and was "not one of us".

My High School was definitely divided on class and racial lines between the "flats" where I lived (where not a month would go by without my hearing gunshots), and the "Hills" (where you didn't)..

I hated the place, and felt that whoever kept spray painting "Teen Prison" on the wall near the entrance of the main building was right.

The teachers indifference to my being "jumped" and punched unconscious taught me the most important lessons of my time there, which was "Get away from this place".

If I was to design an "education system" based on my desires as a youth, they'd be some adults keeping the schoolyard from becoming "Lord of the Flies" and I'd have more time to read and have questions answered, but the truth is my childhood hopes were to be an astronomer, astronaut, or librarian, but there's too many others willing and better able to do those jobs, and the most utility that society could get out of me is to have me in my place.

Basically, you may think of it as a program to get children willing to accept and/or inflict pain and suffering, left over from times that desired warriors and workers, not scholars and scientists.

[Honest Tiefling]

If it makes you feel any better, 2D8HP, things got a lot better at that high school when I attended for 3 years.

Fragile masculinity. I mean, I GET it, but it's still very strange to me that the archetypical "MAN" is tough and rough and and independent and a cool, collected lone wolf who doesn't give a crap what anyone thinks and yet such a man walks a veritable mine field of things he BETTER NEVER EVER DO, from crying to urinating while sitting to realizing dishes need doing without being told to drinking alcohol that tastes like fruit to watching movies without three-day stubble in them, or else his man card is REVOKED forever.

Again, I get it. But the sheer obviousness of the contradiction has always confused me ever since I was old enough to realize it existed.

I think you're confusing real masculine behavior with the behavior of those who are insecure afraid of being labelled a wimp. What constitutes being masculine will of course vary depending on who you ask, but to me it's more about independence, self-improvement, working with your hands and getting stuff done. I think Nick Offerman said it best when he said "...Just stand up for your principles and be loyal to your friends and family."

So those who try to prove they are a big man by driving muscle cars, wearing muscle tanks and hitting the gym are about as masculine as the guys wearing make-up and tutus to me (admittedly, there are very masculine drag queens, but not all of them!). The single father who attends classes on make up to do it for his kids are always going to be better men then the guy who freaks out when you throw an unused tampon at him. It makes far more sense if you separate the two types of behaviors.

[2D8HP]

If it makes you feel any better, 2D8HP, things got a lot better at that high school when I attended for 3 years.....

Glad to hear it!

I did speak to someone who want to BHS in the 1990's (so after me) and he told me that he also had to walk to City Hall to use a restroom with doors and paper, but we didn't speak of the culture of the place.

It's weird, but reading some posts at this Forum, makes me realize how "progressive" my little city was for the time, but other posts (and my memory) remind me just how backwards the '80's still were.

I am (obviously from many of my posts) still enchanted by a lot of 1980's (and earlier) media, but anyone who thinks "everything was better then" seems like a wackjob to me, as I don't miss the fists and gunshots at all!

[Knaight]

It's weird, but reading some posts at this Forum, makes me realize how "progressive" my little city was for the time, but other posts (and my memory) remind me just how backwards the '80's still were.

Let me put it this way - I was born in the 1990's. Your stories about the '80's are downright horrifying.

[Peelee]

Let me put it this way - I was born in the 1990's. Your stories about the '80's are downright horrifying.

I was born in the '80s, and his stories about the '80s are downright horrifying. The older I get, the more I realize how lucky I was.

[2D8HP]

...Your stories about the '80's are downright horrifying.

...The older I get, the more I realize how lucky I was.

Well, it's place as well as time, my co-worker who is almost a year younger than me and grew up in the Hunters Point neighborhood of San Francisco has far scarier tales than mine, another co-worker who's 12 years younger than me, and grew up in the Mission District (which is now gentrified) has similar stories, but our boss who is just a couple of months younger than me, but grew up in Marin County doesn't remember his youth that way.

[truemane]

Thanks for the assistance, everyone. That was really nice. Again, I get it. None of it is a surprise, I'm just always confused and surprised that more people don't have more self-awareness. Especially in this particular instance, where the stated value and the actual behaviour are so at odds.

It's weird. It's always struck me weird. I don't think it'll ever stop being weird to me.

[Florian]

Let me put it this way - I was born in the 1990's. Your stories about the '80's are downright horrifying.

Well, the 80s were the time that marked the death of a dream for a lot of people, a foreshadow for things to come.

(For perspective, keep in mind that Germany is a rather small but densely populated country, so everything happens "at arm's reach" and there're no "flyover states".)

Even at the frontline of the Cold War, things were pretty stable, peaceful, most people thought they'd understand how things work, so optimism all around. Germany was largely rebuild, so life was good.

Then the rapid decline of the heavy industries started, from coal to steel to shipyards. Unlike the "Rust Belt" in the States, that happened along the Rhein/Main axis, so in the most densely populated area of the country. Imagine Chicago, but happening in maybe 12 neighboring cities at once.

[Florian]

AB InBev....

Unlike a lot of US-based craft brewers, I´ve got to admit that I've a deep respect for those guys and gals. The stuff that they and their subsidiaries produce might not meet my own personal taste, but the level of consistency, quality control and the logistics behind it are top notch, inspiring and something to aim to emulate.

That said, I've just tasted some pseudo craft beer that one of their bigger subsidiaries is throwing at the market right now and... it... no, just no. I wonder what the executive decision was: "Ok, let's do some specialty beers, they seem to sell. But let's not shock our customer base by handing them something they might possibly not like, so let's use one of our regular beers and add just the bare minimum to make a difference!". It´s like: "Ok, let's make an belgian abbey style triple. But they´re sweet and have a high ABV, so let's not use any caramel and stick to around 5%, just to be sure and for gods sake, no special yeasts!".

So, basically it was a rather sad affair to taste four normally very distinctive ales, coming out of a facility that is specialized on Pilsener Lagers. The question is: Why? What went wrong here?

[Honest Tiefling]

Well, it's place as well as time, my co-worker who is almost a year younger than me and grew up in the Hunters Point neighborhood of San Francisco has far scarier tales than mine, another co-worker who's 12 years younger than me, and grew up in the Mission District (which is now gentrified) has similar stories, but our boss who is just a couple of months younger than me, but grew up in Marin County doesn't remember his youth that way.

Your posts make me no longer wonder why my parents decided to move to another state for a bit...Through I hear that El Cerrito is much better than it used to be.

When I went, the toilet paper wasn't an issue, but you got pretentious poetry instead. Girls complained of no tampons in the tampon dispensers.

[2D8HP]

Premium Vodka.

Why?

Beer has a taste.

Whiskey has a taste.

And wine most definitely does.

But Vodka?

High proof rum, and Vodka both taste the same to me, more an absence of any taste beyond alcohol.

What is the premium paying for?

[Keltest]

Premium Vodka.

Why?

Beer has a taste.

Whiskey has a taste.

And wine most definitely does.

But Vodka?

High proof rum, and Vodka both taste the same to me, more an absence of any taste beyond alcohol.

What is the premium paying for?

I don't know this from experience, but I'm given to understand theres a range of flavors of vodka and other high-alcohol drinks that range from something like "why am I doing this to myself" to "this is a vessel for getting drunk quickly and has no other notable traits" into "pleasant burning sensation".

I guess if you like the taste of alcohol, premium tastes like alcohol instead of... motor oil or something? Battery acid? really poor quality vodka is one of those things I cant really understand how somebody said "yes, this is a thing the world needs."

[factotum]

I'm a teetotaller, but that's not because of any objection to alcohol (although I didn't enjoy it much the one time I was actually drunk) but because I dislike the taste of most alcoholic drinks, and it's easier to say I'm a teetotaller than to explain for the hundredth time that no, I'd rather drink unfiltered camel urine than beer. So, for someone like me but who actually *wanted* to get drunk, having something potently alcoholic but largely tasteless would be great!

[Florian]

Premium Vodka.

Why?

Gotta love Americans ;)

Whiskey and Rum are actually pretty simple, you have to be sure to make any "error" that is possible and work as "sloppy" as you can, as that is a integral part of those styles. That's basically why most continental European distilleries have such problems creating a "good" Bourbon or Rum, as they're working too efficient and clean to get that result.

Now a good Vodka, Grappa, Kirschwasser, Williams or whatever that will never see the inside of an oak barrel to get their flavor is actually a hard thing to pull off and the production process is very, very controlled.

[Vinyadan]

That's right, vodka has no taste. It might be that it takes one from its storage. Or that your body learns to recognize vodka as a source of alcohol, and it tells you "hey, that's vodka! Vodka is good, it gets you drunk!". It sure has a consistence, but that's a different matter.

[The Eye]

Wow, I didn't expect my thread to still be around.

Anyway a new thing I don't get... Why people dislike drama? When my friends have movie nights I bring some drama movies and they just seem bothered by that... Why? Dramas are so nice; life has a lot of pain and suffering why not watch something that you can relate to?

[Elanasaurus]

Wow, I didn't expect my thread to still be around.

Anyway a new thing I don't get... Why people dislike drama? When my friends have movie nights I bring some drama movies and they just seem bothered by that... Why? Dramas are so nice; life has a lot of pain and suffering why not watch something that you can relate to?

Nothing is liked by everyone.

[Peelee]

Wow, I didn't expect my thread to still be around.

Anyway a new thing I don't get... Why people dislike drama? When my friends have movie nights I bring some drama movies and they just seem bothered by that... Why? Dramas are so nice; life has a lot of pain and suffering why not watch something that you can relate to?

Look at the other side of the coin. Life has a lot of pain and suffering why not watch something to take you away from that?

[Frozen_Feet]

I wouldn't be so quick to assume fictional dramas are at all relatable or even reminescent of real life.

On the contrary, some dramas are intolerably awkward to watch because the drama is founded upon people acting like unbelievable idiots.