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2017-10-03, 05:42 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2016
- Location
- Australia
Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!
Hi guys, I've been convinced to create a second chapter to a game I'm making, and am looking for inspiration.
The game, Rapture at Pale Gate, relies (I hope) on wit and storyline more than anything else. Any fantasy based puns or jokes suggested will be gratefully accepted. If your keen, ideas for quests would also be appreciated.
The party consists of the following:
Female human chaotic good cleric with barely suppressed anger issues
Male human neutral evil fighter with an inferiority complex
Male elf true neutral ranger both naive and gullible
Female dwarf chaotic good mage with OCD for cleanliness
Male neutral evil thief/assassin who tries to argue everyone is evil, deep down.
Male neutral good bard, keen, optimistic and fairly useless.
Any and all help will be treasured.
(The gnomes)
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2017-10-04, 08:34 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2017
Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!
Hey! I know i never got back to you about your first chapter, but it looked like you had some really experienced people giving advice so i didn't think it'd make a difference. Would monster ideas be any use?
Basilisp turnth people to thtone
A Hell Toupee not sure on the joke though...
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2017-10-04, 09:38 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2013
Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!
A dwarf, a human, and an elf walk into a bar. The halfling walked under it.
Bards tell the tale of Adin, a hero of long ago who fought the good fight, protected the weak, vanquished evil, and was friend to everyone. The one thing he was not good at was in socializing with the ladies. He'd get bashful. His rogue buddy decided to become his wingman to help him out. When they go to the tavern he would introduce his friend "This is my good pal, Adin", and thus the class was named.
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2017-10-05, 07:07 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2017
Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!
A group of adventurers approach a door leading to the evil wizard's lair. There is no doorknob or handle, or indeed any apparent way to enter. A prominent stone knocker is clearly visible on the door. Beneath the knocker, an engraving: "Knock Twice If Ye Wish To Enter." After inspecting the door for traps, the paladin steps forth and knocks twice. A booming voice reverberates from the door: "WHO'S THERE?" The paladin replies: "Sir Tristan." The door replies: "SIR TRISTAN WHO?" The paladin, annoyed at being questioned, states: "Sir Tristan the Lightbringer, Chosen of the God Pelor, son of Arthur the Great." The door falls silent, and does not open. The party huddles together and whispers back and forth. Eventually, the bard speaks up: "I have an idea." He strides forth to knock the door twice. "WHO'S THERE?"
"Harry."
"HARRY WHO?"
"Harry up and let us in, it's cold out here."
The door bursts into laughter and swings open.
"THAT WAS A GOOD ONE."
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2017-10-05, 11:54 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2016
- Location
- Here
- Gender
Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!
Have the dwarf find a disorganized pile of items/treasure. I guess you could say this would be... over her head.
"Sons of Gondor! Of Rohan! My brothers! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me! A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship. But it is not this day. An hour of wolves and shattered shields when the age of Men comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good Earth, I bid you stand! Men of the West!" -Aragorn, Lord of the Rings
I'm 8BitNinja's Brother
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2017-10-06, 04:19 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2016
- Location
- Australia
Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!
Pex,
"This is my good pal, Adin"
Chromium,
those fantasy beasts are great, if you think of any more let me know. Definitely using
basilispknock knock
And finally Green Elf, Aside from referring to the Equal Heights movement, I've completely avoided height based humor for the dwarf.... I have no idea why, so thanks both for the joke and the reminder.
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2017-10-06, 09:55 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2016
- Location
- Here
- Gender
Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!
"Sons of Gondor! Of Rohan! My brothers! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me! A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship. But it is not this day. An hour of wolves and shattered shields when the age of Men comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good Earth, I bid you stand! Men of the West!" -Aragorn, Lord of the Rings
I'm 8BitNinja's Brother
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2017-10-09, 09:34 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2017
Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!
Agreed!
Mime flayer?
Gelatinous n00b?
Polka geist?
Cowbold?
Meme-ic?
An ochre ogre toga party?
As fun as this is, let me know if this is on the right track.
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2017-10-09, 10:41 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2012
- Location
- Boston, MA
- Gender
Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!
Once upon a time, a nobleman was riding alone down a deserted road in the countryside, when his horse had the misfortune to stumble and injure its leg. Knowing he could ride no further, but unwilling to abandon his faithful steed, he tied the horse to a tree by the roadside and set off to find help nearby.
Soon, he came upon a lonely monastery. Approaching, he knocked on the door, and was answered by one of the brothers. "Good brother," the nobleman said, "my horse has lamed himself. Might someone here help me tend to him, and give us shelter for the night?" The monks treated him with the utmost grace--they invited the nobleman in, sent someone to tend to and retrieve his horse, and offered him supper and a bed.
During the night, the nobleman was awakened by a strange sound coming from somewhere in the monastery. The next morning, when he woke, he asked the monks "good brothers, what was the source of that sound I heard in the night?"
The monks replied "we cannot tell you, for you are not a monk." The nobleman was perplexed, but shrugged and put the matter aside, and soon continued on his way.
Years passed, and one day, while riding along the same stretch of road, the nobleman's horse chanced to stumble in the same place and lame himself again. Once more, the nobleman sought out the monastery. "Good brother," he said to the monk who answered the door, "it shames me to intrude on your hospitality again, but my horse has injured himself. Might we have your assistance?" Just as before, the monks were as kind as could be, offering the nobleman supper and shelter, and treating his steed.
That night, the nobleman was awoken again by the same sound. In the morning, he said to the monks "brothers, last night I was awakened once more by that strange sound. My curiosity gnaws at me! Please, tell me what causes it!"
The monks once again replied "we cannot, for you are not a monk."
The nobleman hesitated a moment, then said "I cannot know peace until I am satisfied! If the only way I may find out is to join your order, then tell me what I must do to achieve this!"
The monks said "you must travel all the land, and count every blade of grass, and every grain of sand. Do this, and you shall be accepted as one of us." The nobleman agreed, and departed once more.
Forty years later, the nobleman returned to the monastery. "I have done as you asked," he said to the monk who answered the door. "There are one hundred sixteen quadrillion, nine hundred seventy-two trillion, seven hundred fifty-one billion, four hundred thirteen million, sixty-six thousand, eight hundred and two blades of grass, and four hundred eighty-four quintillion, seven hundred fifty-one quadrillion, three hundred eighteen trillion, ninety-eight billion, four million, two hundred thirty-eight thousand, five hundred and ninety-one grains of sand."
The monks replied "well done. Welcome." Inviting him inside, they showed him to a wooden door. "Behind this door," they said, "is the source of the sound."
The nobleman tried the door. It was locked. "Very funny," he said to the monks. "May I have the key?" The monks handed him the key, and he unlocked the door.
Behind the door made of wood was one made of stone. The monks handed him another key, which fit this door.
Behind the stone door was one made of iron. The monks handed the nobleman yet another key, and the door opened.
Behind the iron door was one made of steel. Again, the monks handed the nobleman a key, and again it fit.
So it went, on and on, as the nobleman passed through doors of copper, brass, silver, gold, doors crusted with garnets, topaz, rubies, sapphires, emeralds, and finally, a door encrusted every inch with diamonds. Finally, the monks handed the nobleman one last key. He unlocked the door, and opened it...and there, at last, after so many years, was the source of the sound he had once heard.
...
But I cannot tell you what it was, for you are not a monk
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2017-10-11, 11:46 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2016
- Location
- Australia
Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!
...
Amaril, I got super enthused thinking you'd actually written, in glorious detail a quest for me to use. I read it, savoring the slow suspense build up, then boom...
I'm not sure if I'll use this, but I just wanted to let you know you completely suckered me.
Chromium, keep em coming, I particularly liked gelatinous n00b. Using that one.
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2017-10-12, 12:30 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!
Have the player receive a sending or message spell or the equivalent, saying one of the following:
"Is your golem running?"
"Do you have Gelatinous Cube in a can?"
"Is there a John there?"
"You have just won a free vacation to Elysium- please hold." (No further message)It's a falcon. Wearing a Fedora. Your argument is irrelevant.
Official Member of the No Cussing Club
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2017-10-25, 03:43 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2016
- Location
- Australia
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2017-10-25, 02:24 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2005
- Gender
Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!
Many years ago, the dukedom of Kym was split in half after a war of succession. Referred to as 'old' and 'new' Kym respectively, their dukes feud and each insist they are the true ruler of all Kym. The 'old' duke is a sorcerer who plots and schemes with dark forces. The 'new' duke used to be a fearsome warrior, but now he has fallen into sloth and ill health after becoming addicted to a chew made from the sap of the exotic Bubali tree.
NOW COMPLETE: Let's Play Starcraft II Trilogy:
Hell, It's About Time: Wings of Liberty
Does This Mutation Make Me Look Fat: Heart of the Swarm
My Life For Aiur? I Barely Know 'Er: Legacy of the Void
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2017-10-25, 07:31 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2016
- Location
- The Frozen North
- Gender
Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!
"Shave me!" "Shave me!"
A maiden in distress with a speech impediment.
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2017-10-25, 09:12 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2017
- Location
- CLASSIFIED
- Gender
Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!
I have been reading the forums for a while, and I've been looking for an excuse to join. I couldn't resist posting on this thread.
First: In a distant, little known forest, there are giant mushrooms that grow on the tops of trees. Because these mushrooms blot out the sun in certain areas, the locals call them, collectively, "the shade". The shade secrets a slightly acidic magic gas which creates the illusion that those who breathe it in are being subtly mocked by their friends. The locals have found ways to condense this into small AoE smoke bombs, so when someone "throws shade" those in the target area take 1d4 acid and 1d4 psych damage. The true masters have managed to compress the shade into "roasts" which are ten times as expensive as regular shade, five times as concentrated, and do 3d8 acid 3d8 psych damage. The compressed form is called a roast because, due to the acid it causes noticeable "burns". Finally, one in 20 roasts contain "sick burns" which also render the target poisoned until treated with aloe or some other magic substance.
Also: There are legends of an albino drow assassin. Using his magical +5 10 Foot Pole of Vaulting and a heavily enchanted bow, he takes the high ground and strikes down enemies from afar. He is only known by his reputation and his title: the Vaulter White. He is the one who nocks.
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2017-10-25, 09:32 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2013
Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!
Someone once posted on this board (I think) a pun they DM played on them. Apologies to the original author/post that I can't remember who they were, and probably remember the details wrong.
The party was attacked by a witch who lived in the desert. Also a slaad who employed hit and run tactics, and was very difficult to catch because he kept running away.
It was only at the end of the adventure they realized they had been encountering a chicken slaad and a sand witch.Spoiler: Avatar & Iron Chef AwardsAwesome Dragonfire Bard Avatar by Oneris. A detailed version is here.
Iron Chef awards:
IC C Swiftblade: Honorable Mention for Pahika Kanikani, the Wardancer
IC CII Blade Dancer: Silver for Hu Tiaowu, the Jungle Guardian
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2017-10-26, 11:16 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2015
- Location
- Canada
Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!
Originally Posted by https://www.reddit.com/r/DMDadJokes/comments/513py3/longi_once_spent_two_and_a_half_months_setting_up/
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2017-10-26, 11:57 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2010
- Location
- Western Washington
- Gender
Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!
This thread is so short and I have already laughed so much.
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2017-10-27, 04:06 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2012
- Location
- Poland
- Gender
Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!
Quick bounty quest ideas:
"Runaway psychic midget!" (i.e. the small medium at large)
"Schreodinger's catgirl: Wanted dead and alive!"
"Wight privilige - stop the necropolis alt-right racist cabal"
"Nerd necromancer - still lives with his mummy"
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2017-10-27, 04:41 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
- Location
- Lake Jackson, TX
Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!
Every good adventure deserves an annoying escort quest.
May I suggest that the players come across a Unicorn in need of assistance) Injured or otherwise). And if in need of help getting to a distant mountain where he is to be crowned King.
The distant mountain is known locally as... Candy Mountain.The beatings will continue until morale improves!
Vaz approval for the best backstory. Villainous Competition 16: Burn Baby Burn
http://www.giantitp.com/forums/shows...&postcount=114
Honorable Mention Villainous Competition 22: I Am The Night
http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showt...e-Night!/page6 Xihu Ayame
Click my Vulpix to feed it yummy berries!
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2017-10-27, 10:22 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2016
- Location
- Australia
Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!
People, the amount of sheer gold I'm getting for this is amazing! Work on the game continues, and with every gem this thread receives, the better it will be.
This quest will be VERY useful, but in my mind will split into a lot of lesser quests as well. I think I'll have to use it in the next chapter, as chapter 2 is starting to get quite full.
Yep, this is going in. Some NPC in a dungeon.
I've got a haunted forest that will fit this PERFECTLY! Thank you
(Also, welcome to the forum. I'm quite new as well, but it's a super supportive and friendly one in my opinion.)
This is perfect for an encounter, I don't want to say where as it will spoil it, but incredibly useful.
This will be interesting. I'll use it in the next library they encounter.
I agree, I chortle every couple of days I read it, and it's going to be SO USEFUL!!!
All of this... ALL of it. Pure gold, giggled an inordinate amount over the mummy.
SHUN THE DISBELIEVER!
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2017-10-27, 10:52 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2005
- Gender
Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!
I'd suggest specifically that the quest goal is to cure the Duke of his addiction and become a proper ruler again. That way, you can have the Duke of New Kym declare that he is here to kick ass and chew Bubali gum, but he's all out of gum.
NOW COMPLETE: Let's Play Starcraft II Trilogy:
Hell, It's About Time: Wings of Liberty
Does This Mutation Make Me Look Fat: Heart of the Swarm
My Life For Aiur? I Barely Know 'Er: Legacy of the Void
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2017-10-28, 01:28 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2016
Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!
This fight with the dragon will go on forever. It will just drag on...
Summon a hound archon... "Yo dawg..."
I once had a stairing contest with a medusa. I won, I got up those stairs much faster.
I hear Barbarians are all the rage these days.
A celibate cleric only belongs to the main religion. He stays away from sects.
If you are attacked by an awakened creature, shouldn't sleep counter the awaken?
Wouldn't firing off a color spray cause you to dye?
How do you know if a wizard is a necromancer? Check his ghoulfriend for hickies.
I cast dispel magic: M-A-G-I-C.
Why do wizards bury tomes in cemetaries? So they become encrypted.
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2017-11-03, 07:49 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2016
- Location
- Australia
Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!
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2017-11-08, 06:48 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2017
Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!
have you played munchkin? It's full of punny monsters and spells. Also, are you going to have incessant jokes or just a light sprinkling? I can see the appeal of both....
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2017-11-15, 04:51 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2016
- Location
- Australia
Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!
Sorry about the delay, my real work got rather busy.
When we first started the game it was one joke straight after the other, however feedback was that too much just got dull and repetitive, and that it hindered progress in the actual story. So it'll be a light sprinkling, but going for enough to keep people having the occasional chuckle.
Using jokes straight out of someone else's work sounds a bit too plagiarizey for us though. Particularly as permission would not be given from the makers of that game...
Thanks a whole bunch for the other suggestions though.
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2017-11-15, 02:35 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2009
Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!
That's just how it goes. All joy and no pun is sometimes preferable.
The same with quips and one-liners, or as the saying goes, "When I said death before dishonour, I meant it alphabetically".
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2017-11-16, 08:25 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2012
- Location
- Boston, MA
- Gender
Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!
Well, I'm getting this one from Game of Thrones, but I don't think they wrote it, so maybe it'll be useful.
SpoilerA merchant ship is plying its usual route with a valuable cargo. As the captain stands on deck, supervising his men, the lookout suddenly calls out, "captain! On the horizon--a pirate ship! They're heading straight for us!"
The captain is unafraid. Drawing up, he calls to the crew, "bring me my red shirt!" As the pirates approach, he dons it, and when they board, he leads his crew to victory without losing a man. The merchants celebrate, and the rest of the voyage passes without major incident.
The next season, the ship is on another route, when the lookout calls, "captain! On the horizon--two pirate ships!"
Again, the captain is undaunted. "Bring me my red shirt!" Again, he hastily dons it before the battle, and proceeds to crush the boarders handily.
As the merchants toss the bodies overboard, the first mate approaches the captain. "Captain," he asks, "why do you always call for your red shirt before battle?"
The captain replies, "so my crew won't see me bleed."
The next season, as the ship sails again, the lookout calls, "captain! On the horizon--an entire pirate fleet! Ten ships! They have us surrounded!"
A wave of panic sweeps across the deck, but still, the captain shows no sign of fear. Taking a quiet moment to collect himself, he draws up and calls out, "bring me my brown pants!"
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2017-11-18, 10:29 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2014
- Location
- Los Angeles
- Gender
Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!
The first rule of gaming, before you have even chosen the game is and always should be
HAVE FUN
(FUN being defined as it is in dwarf fortress)
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2017-11-18, 05:36 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2017
Re: Fantasy Puns, Jokes and Humorous Quests needed!
Yep. Definitely an old one. That said, i loved the way they used it in GOT.