Results 1 to 30 of 39
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2017-11-17, 10:03 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2008
- Location
- Right behind you
- Gender
How do I make friends as an adult?
I have absolutely no social circle at all. My only close friend is working all the time and can never hang out with me for more than a couple hours before he has to dash off to his next computer job or to go to bed to wake up early. I work on Friday and Saturday nights so I can't go out when most people are off work. I don't live in a big city with places where I can go to meet people with similar interests. I feel utterly alone and completely trapped by my schedule, and I would just like someone I could see on a semi-regular basis to alleviate the boredom.
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2017-11-17, 10:21 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2015
- Location
- San Francisco Bay area
- Gender
Re: How do I make friends as an adult?
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2017-11-18, 09:56 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2009
- Gender
Re: How do I make friends as an adult?
Take dance lessons, join a creative writing course, volunteer at some animal shelter...
Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien, 1955
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2017-11-18, 11:35 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2006
- Location
- Marlinspike
Re: How do I make friends as an adult?
Volunteer at a seniors center, by teaching a group of the residents to play D&D, and then host a weekly game.
Their schedule would work fine with yours.
I'm half serious.
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2017-11-18, 11:41 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2007
- Gender
Re: How do I make friends as an adult?
Find things that happen regularly on your days off. Start attending those things.
Find coworkers with whom you share interests and can stand to be around outside of work. Grab a drink after a particularly rough day of work.Avatar by Aedilred
GitP Blood Bowl Manager Cup Record
Styx Rivermen, Feets Reloaded, and Selene's Seductive Strut
Record: 42-17-13
3-time Division Champ, Cup Champion
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2017-11-19, 02:02 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2010
- Location
- Mythical Land of Nebraska
- Gender
Re: How do I make friends as an adult?
Find a public social gathering that you'd enjoy and meet people there; that's effectively what you did in school as a kid. Once you've got a rapport with someone, invite them to some one on one hangout, then
lock them in your basementcongratulations! You've got a friend.The not-so-secret identity of Nat1Advice.
I also write more serious 5e content on my blog, TBM Games.
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2017-11-19, 02:12 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2017
Re: How do I make friends as an adult?
As others have said, get involved in something. Check out MeetUp.com
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2017-11-19, 07:16 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2010
- Location
- Dallas, TX
- Gender
Re: How do I make friends as an adult?
Don't find friends. Find activities.
Friends come from activities.
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2017-11-20, 03:36 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2010
- Gender
Re: How do I make friends as an adult?
I'm in a similar situation, because I moved a couple hundred miles away from all my friends and haven't made many new ones since the move. In my case, part of the problem is that I'm a homebody and never go anywhere.
Here's a thought: based on your Wheel of Time threads, you are good at talking about books and have a lot of worthwhile stuff to say.
Do you have a public library in your area?
If so, does the library have one or more book discussion groups you could join?
If they don't, or if they do but none of them read books that interest you, try talking to a librarian about starting up a new one.
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2017-11-20, 04:15 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2017
- Location
- East Coast - USA
Re: How do I make friends as an adult?
Someone suggested not finding friends and finding activities. It's always a good way to meet people. depending on the size of the place you live there are also activity websites that not only have tabletop game groups and whatnot but other things as well.
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2017-11-21, 10:10 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2016
- Gender
Re: How do I make friends as an adult?
As if friends are even worth having, most of the time...
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2017-11-21, 10:21 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2010
- Location
- Its Complicated
- Gender
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2017-11-21, 10:31 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2016
- Gender
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2017-11-22, 12:22 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2010
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2017-11-22, 06:51 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2016
- Gender
Re: How do I make friends as an adult?
Not sure how many "different" types of people are left. I swear to God, everyone I meet in this town eventually turns out to be addicted to crack. Young, old, scruffy, clean-cut, ignorant, educated, broke, well-off, every single person I befriend winds up selling my things for crack.
Unless the early signs of a crack addiction happen to line up with personality traits I find appealing, I'm not sure why this keeps happening. I refuse to believe that I may be the cause of 20+ people developing drug problems in the 3 years since I moved here. Especially since it's always, invariably, specifically crack.
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2017-11-22, 07:02 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2010
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2017-11-22, 07:54 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2009
- Gender
Re: How do I make friends as an adult?
I am more curious about how they get your stuff to sell it. I mean, are they friends or roommates?
Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien, 1955
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2017-11-22, 11:37 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2016
- Gender
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2017-11-22, 11:52 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2005
- Gender
Re: How do I make friends as an adult?
NOW COMPLETE: Let's Play Starcraft II Trilogy:
Hell, It's About Time: Wings of Liberty
Does This Mutation Make Me Look Fat: Heart of the Swarm
My Life For Aiur? I Barely Know 'Er: Legacy of the Void
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2017-11-22, 12:19 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2016
- Gender
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2017-11-22, 01:10 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2013
- Location
- Over the Rainbow
- Gender
Re: How do I make friends as an adult?
(sic)
My English non très bueno, da? CALL: 0800-BADGRINGO
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2017-11-22, 01:19 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2015
- Location
- San Francisco Bay area
- Gender
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2017-11-22, 03:49 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2007
- Gender
Re: How do I make friends as an adult?
Well usually when dirtbags continually come into a person's life, it isn't chance. The common thread in all those relationships is you.
So you're doing something that is making it more likely to become friends with crackheads, yes. Sorry. I hope you figure out what it is and stop.Avatar by Aedilred
GitP Blood Bowl Manager Cup Record
Styx Rivermen, Feets Reloaded, and Selene's Seductive Strut
Record: 42-17-13
3-time Division Champ, Cup Champion
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2017-11-22, 04:28 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2007
Re: How do I make friends as an adult?
I'm going to offer some half drunk, somewhat tired wisdom. Take it with a shovel of salt.
Speaking as a sort of introvert that has been battling with loneliness and depression in way or another(even if it took me some five to ten years to recognize and admit it to myself) ever since leaving his pre-graduate studies... I think I can understand you.
And really... not much can be said about it. You have to learn to exist with yourself. And it's a bloody hard skill to obtain. You miss and loathe company at the same time... you want to share your misery with somebody, if only to make them feel miserable as well. Because it will surely make you feel better... right?
It doesn't. And somewhere down the road, you recognize it. You try to turn your life around and do good on world and people around you. And you usually get punished for it. So you turn bitter and spiteful. Maybe you search for professional help. Maybe you turn to your hobbies and alcohol.
You exist like this for few years, ups and downs coming and going. And really, it's a fairly miserable life. Then one day you figure it out, nobody's gonna change it for me. I'm gonna have to change it myself.
After that, less than delightful exposition... I am currently at much the same point as you are. Mid aged, single male, with few real prospects(and fewer friends still) in life. And despite it all... I am currently mostly at peace with it all.
The thing that helped me most(I think), was meditation. Sitting alone with your thoughts for a predetermined amount of time, each day, for last five months, was a hard experience, but it helped me come to terms with a lot of things. Mostly, with myself. None of my problems have changed or moved away, but I can now look at them with new eyes.
It has also helped me with one thing I struggled with for most of the last ten years... been alone. So yeah, I'm a big advocate of meditating.
That doesn't mean I don't still enjoy, or even search company. But my alone time has been much easier on myself. And just for that, I think taking ten minutes of your schedule each day is totally worth it.Adrie, half elven bard. Drawing by Vulion, avatar by CheesePirate. Colored version by Callos_DeTerran. Thanks a lot, you guys.This place is not a place of honor…no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here… nothing valued is here."There will come a day so dark you will pray for death. On that day your prayers will be answered."Book of shadows, book of night, wake the beast and banish light.
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2017-11-22, 05:41 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2015
- Location
- San Francisco Bay area
- Gender
Re: How do I make friends as an adult?
Seems to me that another dissenter to this whole "making friends" stuff may be warranted, so despite my STUNNING HUMILITY!!! I will quote the bestest of all source I know on the subject:
.
If you still have a strong back and a light wallet, than having friends may still be good, but eventually you just can't risk injury anymore, and do you really want the obligations?
.
You will still crave communicating with other people, and fortunately there's this Forum so you don't have to suffer commuting to scratch that itch, but you may be unable to shed the craving of talking to people in person, well besides activities, volunteering, attending church (I've heard, no direct experience myself), there's being a regular at a bar or cafe, which can be tricky as if the place is too crowded there's the whole "lost in a crowd" thing, and if too empty than there isn't much point except to tip well the barista/bartender).
In my area decades ago (and probably still) they were regular motorcycle "rides", which usually consisted of more talking than riding, unfortunately motorcyclists have the habit of dying young (I knew nine in my social circle who died over an eight year period).
Really, the easiest way to make friends is to collect a pension and move into an elder/senior "housing community", and you may make friends who don't expect to exchange heaving lifting.
-Both respectfully and tongue-in-cheek
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2017-11-23, 12:15 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2016
- Gender
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2017-11-23, 12:41 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2007
- Gender
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2017-11-23, 12:51 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2010
Re: How do I make friends as an adult?
Last edited by WarKitty; 2017-11-23 at 12:52 AM.
Hail to the Lord of Death and Destruction!
CATNIP FOR THE CAT GOD! YARN FOR THE YARN THRONE! MILK FOR THE MILK BOWL!
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2017-11-23, 01:51 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2016
- Gender
Re: How do I make friends as an adult?
Some of them were, yes. Until they stole my **** and broke into my house. I don't need to "pick one", because I never changed the details. Whether they were my friends or not was never ambiguous. I said so outright.
Look. If I befriend a guy, and that guy later reveals a crack addiction by burgling me to fuel it, I am in no way responsible for that burglary or crack addiction. Implying otherwise is just scummy.Last edited by Future Sword; 2017-11-23 at 01:58 AM.
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2017-11-23, 01:57 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2007
- Gender
Re: How do I make friends as an adult?
Okay, so you're making friends with crackheads...
I've known lots of people with drug problems. Usually the ones willing to rob their own friends are pretty easy to spot.
I'm sorry you keep befriending stealth crackheads.Last edited by Crow; 2017-11-23 at 01:59 AM.