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    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Grytorm's Avatar

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    Default Why Halflings are Rosy Cheeked

    Well I've been thinking and I have discovered why Halflings and by extension other small races have such rosy complexion. It is simple really, vampires and other bloodsuckers deal constitution damage at a steady rate, therefore it takes a Vampire the same amount of time to kill a Halflings as it does a human. This means that both Halflings and humans must have the same amount of blood in their bodies.

    Now a quick Google search tells me that human body weight is about 7% blood. So assuming someone is 180 lbs that comes out to be around 12 lbs of blood. Halflings on the other hand weigh in at around 30 lbs meaning that a Halflings body mass is on average 40% blood. You never want to kill Halflings it seems because the blood just gets everywhere.

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    Anxe's Avatar

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    Default Re: Why Halflings are Rosy Cheeked

    Hang on. Who said Halflings have red blood?

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    Grytorm's Avatar

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    Default Re: Why Halflings are Rosy Cheeked

    Truthfully that was jumping to conclusions. What color do you think Halflings should bleed?

    But it would make some sense to me if they were red blooded. The same logic for blood volume applies to Goblins after all and they are the ones who usually have exotic skin colors.

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    Default Re: Why Halflings are Rosy Cheeked

    Hm... my reasoning was always "because they are childlike", but i like yours far better.

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    Default Re: Why Halflings are Rosy Cheeked

    Halflings are red-cheeked because they are always sexually aroused.

    Always.

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    DwarfFighterGuy

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    Default Re: Why Halflings are Rosy Cheeked

    Combined with their predilection for fatty and salty foods, things get messy reallll fast. High blood pressure and 40% blood by body mass can result in some truly horrifying murder scenes. There's got to be an evolutionary reason for this though...


    Maybe ancestral halflings had more in common with horned lizards then they'd like to admit. They're both good at camouflage, lie around after eating, spray blood from their eyes in self defense...

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    RedWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Why Halflings are Rosy Cheeked

    Quote Originally Posted by NRSASD View Post
    Combined with their predilection for fatty and salty foods, things get messy reallll fast. High blood pressure and 40% blood by body mass can result in some truly horrifying murder scenes.
    I thought people were just naturally predisposed to murder Halflings in more gruesome ways, but this makes a lot of sense.
    After all, consider that Ewoks are similarly sized and they tend to look like they've been through a woodchipper when you're done with them, even that time you were only armed with a bag of flour.
    Doesn't explain Gungans though... Maybe something to do with them being an aquatic species and lower atmospheric pressure on land...
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    SamuraiGuy

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    Default Re: Why Halflings are Rosy Cheeked

    I just thought they were excited, but I couldn't see what they were doing!?!

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    ElfRangerGuy

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    Default Re: Why Halflings are Rosy Cheeked

    Quote Originally Posted by Anxe View Post
    Hang on. Who said Halflings have red blood?
    For that matter, where did this notion that they have rosy cheeks come from?

    They're halflings, not some sort of wintery holiday elves!
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    Grytorm's Avatar

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    Default Re: Why Halflings are Rosy Cheeked

    Well of course halflings are rosy cheeked. They are practically overflowing with blood you know. Also explains their sanguine temperament.

    Or alternatively it is a feature of what I imagine to be a stereotypical halfling, specifically the more Tolkeinesque happy country folk who doesn't want to get involved with this adventure stuff.

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    Beholder

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    Default Re: Why Halflings are Rosy Cheeked

    I just thought they were alcoholics.

    Though I do find Halfling blood-splosion deaths intriguing.

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    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Why Halflings are Rosy Cheeked

    On top of the alcoholism, there may also be a degree of carbon monoxide poisoning from all the pipe smoking.

    Another theory might be that halflings often have rosy cheeks because so many of them are Rouges.

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    Doorhandle's Avatar

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    Default Re: Why Halflings are Rosy Cheeked

    Quote Originally Posted by paddyfool View Post
    On top of the alcoholism, there may also be a degree of carbon monoxide poisoning from all the pipe smoking.

    Another theory might be that halflings often have rosy cheeks because so many of them are Rouges.
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    Kobold

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    Default Re: Why Halflings are Rosy Cheeked

    Quote Originally Posted by lunaticfringe View Post
    I just thought they were alcoholics.

    Though I do find Halfling blood-splosion deaths intriguing.
    Wait... shooting blood from eyes, alternately lethargic and springy, explode when killed... They're miniature Krynn Draconians in human suits! Halflings are Lizard People (And secretly in control of everything)!

    It all makes so much sense now...
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    Default Re: Why Halflings are Rosy Cheeked

    I was going to say Halflings have rosy cheeks because Hobbits are described as having rosy cheeks in Lord of the Rings, but . . .

    Quote Originally Posted by paddyfool View Post
    Another theory might be that halflings often have rosy cheeks because so many of them are Rouges.
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    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Why Halflings are Rosy Cheeked

    You're making me blush like a halfling ;-)
    Last edited by paddyfool; 2017-11-30 at 05:06 AM.

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    DwarfFighterGuy

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    Default Re: Why Halflings are Rosy Cheeked

    Am I the only one thinking that these blood filled food connoisseurs would be the ideal vampire snacks?

    Also, that pun. Hats off to a master of the art!
    Last edited by NRSASD; 2017-11-30 at 02:09 PM.

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    Default Re: Why Halflings are Rosy Cheeked

    Quote Originally Posted by paddyfool View Post
    On top of the alcoholism, there may also be a degree of carbon monoxide poisoning from all the pipe smoking.

    Another theory might be that halflings often have rosy cheeks because so many of them are Rouges.
    Favored Class: Rouge.

    Story checks out.


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    But really, the important lesson here is this: Rather than making assumptions that don't fit with the text and then complaining about the text being wrong, why not just choose different assumptions that DO fit with the text?
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    Default Re: Why Halflings are Rosy Cheeked

    they have congenital rosentia you butt! Way to make halflings feel self-conscious.
    Last edited by FabulousFizban; 2017-12-06 at 07:57 AM.
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    Jay R's Avatar

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    Default Re: Why Halflings are Rosy Cheeked

    Quote Originally Posted by paddyfool View Post
    Another theory might be that halflings often have rosy cheeks because so many of them are Rouges.
    The thread is over. Paddyfool won.

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