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    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    DwarfFighterGuy

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    Default 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    Hey Playground! What are some things that could be onboard a D&D smuggler's ship? Specifically, I'm looking for labelled crates to place in a hold where the PCs wake up. Every entry on the list should have the crate's label and its contents. As always, thanks in advance!

    1. Birdsworth and Featheringjay's Fine Foreign Furniture. Contents: Three mahogany kenku perches, one of which is hollow and filled with small, unmarked gemstones.

    2. Duskveil's Herbal Emporium. Contents: A small, sealed box containing a silken pouch of powdered Exile's Rose, a rare Fey spice.

    3. Unlabelled, but the crate is very water damaged. Contents: An ancient ivory statuette of a lovecraftian entity that exudes a perpetual miasma of dampness and unease.

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    Troll in the Playground
     
    Imp

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    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    A Mystic, a farm-boy, the smuggler himself and his pet wookie half-orc?
    I apologise if I come across daft. I'm a bit like that. I also like a good argument, so please don't take offence if I'm somewhat...forthright.

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    Jay R's Avatar

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    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    4. XXX: barrel of rum. [In fact, there is a small waterproof package inside. This is an attempt to smuggle an important item - small artifact, crown jewels, etc. - so that the smugglers themselves don't know what they are carrying.]

    5. Munitions: a crate of arrows being sent to the ogre wars. In fact, it contains 200 arrows of ogre slaying.

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    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    HalflingPirate

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    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    6. A crate full of dangerous spell components. -
    Assorted Bat Guano: 2 boxes. Pinches of Sulfur: 6 Boxes.
    Quote Originally Posted by mephnick View Post
    Because stormin' through the forest, movin' rocks, bashin' doors and killin' monsters is true D&D.

    Leave that social and political **** to Game of Thrones and the Five Rings.
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    Jay R's Avatar

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    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    7. An ornate coffin. Empty.
    Roll for initiative.

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    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    8. Neatly packaged barrel with dried-up gelatinous cube. Just add water.

    9. Beatuful sword. A relic stolen from some order of paladins. Opening lead-lined box means that they can finally scry on it.

    10. Twenty suspicious books written in some incomprehensible language. The writer was just mad and not possessed by some malevolent entity - contrary to the belief of owners, who intend to decipher books at all costs.
    11. Stoned gnome. He has no idea where he is or how he had gotten there, but the party was awesome.

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    DruidGuy

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    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    12. Your newest party member
    13. Pocket dimension

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    Firbolg in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    14. Thousands of live spiders, which are a well-known spell component for spider climb. Also this crate has a false bottom, because who's going to check?

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    BlackDragon

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    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    15. A dozen lifelike statues and a case of Stone to Flesh scrolls. (Whether or not the smuggler knows they're transporting slaves is up to the GM.)

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    Ettin in the Playground
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    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    16: Self-sealing stem bolts. Contains self-sealing stem bolts.
    Last edited by hymer; 2017-12-08 at 08:46 AM.
    My D&D 5th ed. Druid Handbook

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    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Guizonde's Avatar

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    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    17: rations, assorted: contains enough long-lasting rations (think salted meats, hardtack) to make for 45 days of food for one person.
    18: whale blubber: contains blubber to be used as fuel in oil lamps, among other things.
    19: gnomish underwear (used): actually contains clean underwear, with a false-bottom containing recreational drugs.
    20: writing materials, assorted: contains parchment, powdered ink, quills, charcoal sticks, and sharpeners.
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    regarding my choice of sustenance:
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    GM: “If it doesn't move and it should, use duct tape. If it moves and it shouldn't, use a shotgun.”
    dm is Miltonian, credit where credit is due.

    when in doubt,
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    Ask the beret wearing insect men of Athas.

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    LordCdrMilitant's Avatar

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    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    It helps to know for what purpose his cargo is bound.

    He could be smuggling ordinary goods through a blockade, weapons to a resistance [or less savory organization], people over a controlled border [in or out], illegal drugs, etc..


    I'd hazard he already has buyers lined up for everything he's transporting, and his cargo to be generally consistent.
    Last edited by LordCdrMilitant; 2017-12-08 at 10:32 AM.
    Guardsmen, hear me! Cadia may lie in ruin, but her proud people do not! For each brother and sister who gave their lives to Him as martyrs, we will reap a vengeance fiftyfold! Cadia may be no more, but will never be forgotten; our foes shall tremble in fear at the name, for their doom shall come from the barrels of Cadian guns, fired by Cadian hands! Forward, for vengeance and retribution, in His name and the names of our fallen comrades!

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    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    DwarfFighterGuy

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    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    @LordCdrMilitant The smuggler in question is an opportunist, with multiple ventures lined up all along the coast. No major wars, but a lot of criminal traffic, cults, illegal magic, and revolutionary sleeper cells waiting for the opportune moment.

    @Everyone else: Loving the input so far! Thanks!

    21. Lord Bentley’s Gnomish Preserves- Extra Piquant Private Collection. Contents: a magically stasis-ed ochre jelly. Opening the barrel incorrectly turns the zesty marmalade into a confused and angry jelly

    22. Clangsworth Ironworks. Contents: various wrought iron cooking ware. A magical cold iron warhammer of Fey Slaying (fey smashing?) is concealed in the crate’s false bottom

    23. Handle with Caution: Contains Live Tiger! Contents: a live, 100% genuine real tiger. You wouldn’t think it’d fit in a shoe box, but wizards are tricky like that. Opening the shoe box naturally restores the tiger to its full size and poor disposition.
    Last edited by NRSASD; 2017-12-08 at 01:49 PM.

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    Orc in the Playground
     
    PirateGuy

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    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    24. A sleeping dog, the pet of a foreign noble.

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    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    DrowGirl

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    d6 Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    25 perfume

    26 ordinary vegetables

    27 black onyx spell component for animate dead.

    28. Statuettes of Evil deties.

    29 poison of different types str. dex change
    9 wisdom true neutral cleric you know you want me in your adventuring party


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    Pixie in the Playground
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    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    30. Label says Steel Plowshares, crate is actually full of Longswords.

    31. Label says Straw and the crate is indeed full of simple straw. Careful examination reveals that the crate itself is constructed from Darkwood which has been carefully disguised as common oak.

    32. Three crates containing Charcoal, Saltpeter and Sulfur. The crates are poorly constructed and have been haphazardly stacked resulting some of the contents spilling and intermixing.

    33. Label says Noodle Implements. Crate contains 37 clay jugs, 50ft of hemp rope, a small bag of iron nails, a single spiked gauntlet and a bullseye lantern.

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    Firbolg in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    Quote Originally Posted by Adeon Hawkwood View Post
    33. Label says Noodle Implements. Crate contains [CONTENTS SCRUBBED]
    "I already told you, we are NOT TALKING about the Noodle Implements!"

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    Jay R's Avatar

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    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    31. Crate is labeled "Handle with Care. Velociraptor Eggs." Skittering noises are heard inside. Put anything you want in it; nobody's going to open it.

    32. Label says, "Open crate in an flat, bare area at least 20 feet in diameter. Property of Leomund." Actual contents: a bounce house.

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    khadgar567's Avatar

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    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    33. common merchant gear loaded wagon on hidden false bottom bunch of elven slaves.
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    Archpaladin Zousha's Avatar

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    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    34. A live Sumatran Rat-Monkey. Don't let the thing scratch you!
    Last edited by Archpaladin Zousha; 2017-12-09 at 04:37 PM.

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    Firbolg in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    35. A portable hole full of dimensional lint, which is lint found in pocket dimensions. Nobody knows why it exists or how it can be used.

    36. Seven disassembled stage coaches, each one a different size, for an upcoming event named the Road of Seven Carts. There's a note that the carts must be assembled in the correct order.

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    khadgar567's Avatar

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    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    Quote Originally Posted by Archpaladin Zousha View Post
    34. A live Sumatran Rat-Monkey. Don't let the thing scratch you!
    rolls for smite damage where in the burning heavens this thing came from.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dark Shadow View Post
    Threads are like cats. They go where they want, and never listen to what you want them to do.


  23. - Top - End - #23
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    37. An airtight crate labeled "Agricultural Implements".

    The crate contains two dead peasants dressed in farm clothing. They are rather ripe, having probably been dead for a few weeks.


    38. A crate labeled "Inflatable Succubus. Do not penetrate."

    The crate is empty save a message carved on the inside of the lid, saying "Gone shopping." The carving appears to have been done with a claw or a very sharp and hard nail.


    39. A large crate labeled "Fragile. Right side up. Open in case of Apocalypse. Some assembly required."

    When the crate is opened, blue smoke billows forth. It is harmless and soon replaced by air from the surroundings, but might surprise the players.

    The crate contains a four-poster bed on which lies a pretty elven woman in the bloom of youth dressed in a wedding dress. Next to her feet on the bed is a chess board with pieces in their starting position, yet it appears some pieces are missing.

    Examining the chess board reveals that the black king has been broken in half, the top half lying next to the board and the bottom half in its rightful place, and that the white queen and the black g8 knight are missing.

    The woman appears to be sleeping at first, but a closer examination reveals that she's not breathing and exhibits no signs of life but is nevertheless perfectly preserved with no signs of decomposition. She clutches something in her right hand.

    Prying open the fingers of the right hand reveals the missing black rook.

    Removing her dress reveals a narrow incision down the centre of her torso, which allows it to be opened up. Doing so reveals that her lungs, heart, kidneys, and intestines have been removed.

    Anybody looking under the bed will discover a collection of six jars and a note with assembly instructions (requiring rare ingredients/and or magic as desired by the DM, but something that definitely requires adventuring to acquire). These jars contain the internal organs mentioned above, perfectly preserved.

    Anybody moving the bed without looking under it risk knocking over one or more jars.

    Assembling the elf in accordance with the instructions results in a looping telepathic broadcast of "Too Soon! You have assembled me too soon! What is the meaning of this?", that repeats every minute in the heads of anybody within sixty foot range of the body. The volume of each telepathic broadcast appears to be random, everything from a faint whisper to a roar drowning out all thought. There are no other results and the source of the broadcast cannot be divined.

    Disassembling the elf and placing her organs in jars like they were before assembly will stop the broadcast. (Any jars will work, but no other containers.)

    The elf's body and organs do not detect as magic, as living, as unliving, ... She's a black hole as far as divination is concerned.

    The elf cannot be returned to life in any way, nor can lore checks or divination reveal anything beyond the facts that the elf has previously been assembled by various people, most of whom came to a bad end.

    Even more work will reveal names and details about some of these people, which would be an excellent place to hang plot hooks for other adventures.

    The players can do whatever they want with the elf's body - it will remain lifeless. Circus attraction, centerpiece of a new religion, necrophilia service, mantel conversation piece, egg timer (if broadcasting), or perhaps it might be used as a prop for a con. Anything goes.

    While the body does not decompose, it can be damaged by other means. Should it suffer more than 50% damage or any of its assembly kit internal organs be destroyed, the body will instantly vanish and a few years later, somewhere in the world, somebody will unexpectedly find a large crate labeled "Fragile. Right side up. Open in case of Apocalypse. Some assembly required." with the elf, a new four-poster-bed, jars, chess board, instructions, blue smoke, and everything else prepared in exactly the same state the players found it.

    --- Goes without saying that you can use any sex/any race for this. I went for the classical sleeping beauty faerytale approach.


    (No. I don't know whether this elf was once a living elf, whether it is some sort of elf golem or construct, whether it is a divine practical joke or an essential tool come whatever local variant of an apocalypse your setting features. I invented it to be a true mystery, a curiosity and a wonder, something for the players to never be able to figure out but still be able to put to some use if they were creative. And players can be so endlessly creative.)
    Last edited by Deliverance; 2017-12-14 at 09:50 AM.

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    Archpaladin Zousha's Avatar

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    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    Quote Originally Posted by khadgar567 View Post
    rolls for smite damage where in the burning heavens this thing came from.
    From the Peter Jackson movie BrainDead (or DeadAlive, depending on where you watch it):



    It makes zombies.
    Last edited by Archpaladin Zousha; 2017-12-10 at 09:48 PM.
    "Reach down into your heart and you'll find many reasons to fight. Survival. Honor. Glory. But what about those who feel it's their duty to protect the innocent? There you'll find a warrior savage enough to match any dragon, and in the end, they'll retain what the others won't. Their humanity."

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    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    40. "In case of Fire or Hot Pursuit: Break Glass". The crate's top is indeed made of glass, showing nothing but fog inside. If the cover is broken, a dense, extremely damp mist pours out, in a cloud that expands at the rate of 30' radius per round for 15 minutes. The crate continues to generate more mist for 1 hour, covering a zone of 1 mile radius centered on the crate. It then dissipates naturally, depending on wind and sunshine conditions in the location. The mist is so thick and damp that it duplicates the effects of both Obscuring Mist and Quench spells (or equivalent effects in systems other than D&D).

    41. "Lord Belial's Cellar - Item #114362A-56". The crate contains 25 pickled imps. The imps are reduced to 1/10 their natural size and preserved in a mixture of vinegar, sulfur and a few unsavory alchemical additives. If taken out of the barrel, an imp is initially in a comatose state. Left undisturbed, it wakes up in 1d6 rounds, and grows back to its normal size in 1d6 minutes. It is free to act as it pleases.
    Last edited by Gwynfrid; 2017-12-19 at 10:26 AM.

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    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    DwarfFighterGuy

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    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    Loving the ideas! Here's a handful I just used in my campaign.

    42. A burlap sack labelled "Chicken Scratch": Since chicken scratch is kenku mafia slang for protection money, it contained 11,305 silver pieces in small, unmarked currency.

    43. A stout crate labelled "Dwarven Laundry": contains a dirty but fully functional suit of half-plate

    44. A crate reinforced with steel and wrapped in chains. Labelled "Caution! Do Not Open! Venomous Bagpipes Within!": contains several bagpipes, one of which just might be full of poison.

    45. A large barrel labelled "Proscribed and Seditious Contents; do not shake!": contains a radical and controversial elven anarchist poet

    46. A sealed casket labelled "Do not open! Gentle Repose in effect. Reward of 2000 gp if delivered intact to 537 Godswalk, Meroe": contains a dead adventurer being shipped to a friendly temple for resurrection

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    Ettin in the Playground
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    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    47: Educational materials. Contains a frozen cow carcass which could thaw into some high quality steak given time.
    My D&D 5th ed. Druid Handbook

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    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DwarfFighterGuy

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    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    48. "Helm of Selachimorpha" and inside is a helmet and face mask built from the skull of a shark enchanted with the ability to telepathically communicate with all sharks in a 1 square mile radius (hence the term Selachimorpha which is the suborder that sharks belong to). Could be an entertaining ability to gain while on the deck of a smuggling ship.

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    Firbolg in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    49. Werewolf Tonic. Bottles of mildly scented liquid that cause hair to grow when splashed upon skin. Side effects include lunacy. Consult your druid before using.

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    Dwarf in the Playground
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    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    50. A small, beautifully carved wooden case with silver fittings, locked and covered with hazard stickers and dire warnings. "Do not open! This means you!" Contains a Deck of Many Things.

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