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  1. - Top - End - #31
    Dwarf in the Playground
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    Nov 2006
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    Sweden
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    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    51. A small cask marked: "Jorgmund special reserve, (appropriate year)

    It does contain liquor, but it is used to preserve a small, unsettling magical creature which may or may not come back to life if released, and may or may not have given the liquor unsettling qualities. Has a slight sulphur bouquet.

    52. A large box marked: " Checker pieces, clay, (2000), Black, White.

    The topmost checker pieces are real, but the lowest layer is actually platinum pieces baked into clay as a means to smuggle large amounts of currency.

    53. Crate marked: "Paintings, Misc (26)

    The paintings are pretty much garbage, but one of them contains visual code which will provide a certain spy with invaluable information. To anyone else, it's just a couple of dogs playing poker.

  2. - Top - End - #32
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    BlueWizardGirl

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    Apr 2011
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    In a building.
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    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    54. The eye-like sensory organ of outerbeing, suspended in a magically reinforced crystal sphere about the size of a human head. It broadcasts information about nearby points of interest and tourist traps into the minds of all who meet its gaze, but is otherwise harmless.

    55. A half-dragon goat.

  3. - Top - End - #33
    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Jun 2013

    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    56: a rune-bound black box containing something lovecraftian. If released, it will possess the nearest available host, and start preparations for a ritual to summon its boss, murdering as required to conceal its presence until then. It being aboard will cause various dark portents and misfortune to follow the ship, as it warps it surroundings with its very existence.

  4. - Top - End - #34
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    khadgar567's Avatar

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    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    57. sealed glass lid coffin with elven woman in scanty clothing and note saying "bride for local lord do not open until delivery".
    Quote Originally Posted by Dark Shadow View Post
    Threads are like cats. They go where they want, and never listen to what you want them to do.


  5. - Top - End - #35
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    RangerGuy

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    Feb 2016
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    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    Lockbox: A wooden shipping crate, unlocked
    contains locks

    Von Menkompfts Magical Maneuverable Majestic Mighty Military Mechanisims: A solidly made hardwood crate
    Contains: 6 Enchanted Repeating Crosbows, A miniature ballistae (3 inches long) which grows to a full sized ballistae when in contact with dirt, sand, or grass, a self propelled automatic battering ram, 6 collapsable shields, 2 spinning swords, 4 springloaded spears, 8 ballistic knives, an an instruction manual for the above written in cartoonishy german accented english.

    Paltridge's Portable Pottery Pervayor's Pushcart
    a four inch tall pushcart which grows to the size of a normal pushcart upon the use of the phrase "pots for sale" Contains assorted pottery. has a sign on it which reads "Property of Peter Packingham Paltridge"

    Percussive Matinence Toolkit
    Contains many hammers

    Army Crate Mark E
    Contains assorted dynamite, rockets, pies, springs, strings, ductape, an anvil, a refridgerator, an oversized cannon, four 18th century grenades, a pair of cross country skis, and an imperial socket wrench with several metric sockets.

    Emergency Repair and Matinence Crate
    Contains Aeresolized Lubricant, strong Adhesive Tape, and a message under the lid of the crate which says (If it moves and shouldn't apply tape, if it doesn't and should, apply Lubricant. )

    Kobold Control Device
    Contains Cattle Prod

    Kolbold Rapid transit Device
    Contains a Golf Club (2 Wood)

    Goblin Handcuffs
    Contains assorted rusty meat cleavers

    Dwarven Handcuffs
    Contains two pints of ale

    Hans' Cuffs
    Contains assorted fancy cufflinks

    Locked crate wrapped in chains labled "DO NOT OPEN Contains Certain Death"
    Contains a high level halfling assasin named "Certain Death" and a wanted poster for said halfling with the ludicrously high bounty circled in red.
    Warning, this poster makes frequent use of jokes, snarks, and puns. He is mostly harmless and intends no offense.

  6. - Top - End - #36

  7. - Top - End - #37
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Feb 2016

    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    71.) A useless brass tag to put by your name. Symbol with a sword.

    72.) Another useless bronze tag to put by your name. Symbol with a hammer.

    72.) A slip of paper with a somewhat good catchphrase. "It still only counts as one!"

    No, not the sexy priestess outfit you were looking for. Would you like to buy another 101 crates? 15% off?

  8. - Top - End - #38
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    khadgar567's Avatar

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    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    Quote Originally Posted by Sparklelord View Post
    71.) A useless brass tag to put by your name. Symbol with a sword.

    72.) Another useless bronze tag to put by your name. Symbol with a hammer.

    72.) A slip of paper with a somewhat good catchphrase. "It still only counts as one!"

    No, not the sexy priestess outfit you were looking for. Would you like to buy another 101 crates? 15% off?
    73.) cursed sexy prietess outfit with fake holy book.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dark Shadow View Post
    Threads are like cats. They go where they want, and never listen to what you want them to do.


  9. - Top - End - #39
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    BardGuy

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    Mar 2013

    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    74. "Toys for young Ms. [name of the daughter of a local lord here]"

    A crate full of small constructs with impossibly cute eyes. When interacted with, they say things like "Play with me!" and "Feed me." When the PCs get bored and turn away, they say things like "I bet [name of other PC] has a tasty heart. Wouldn't you like to know?", "Let's find out together", "Ah, I haven't seen light in thirty years" and similar things.

    If you pay attention to them, they look perfectly normal and harmless, and these eyes are so, so cute <3 You can feel your desire to take one of them home with you...
    Quote Originally Posted by Red Fel View Post
    But you, as DM, have to be prepared for the PCs to do something stupid and self-destructive, because they will. They can't help it. They're like adorable homicidal children with pennies near a light socket, except that the pennies are chainsaws and the light socket is your plot. Also, the chainsaws are on fire.

  10. - Top - End - #40
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Bohandas's Avatar

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    Feb 2016

    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    Quote Originally Posted by LokiRagnarok View Post
    74. "Toys for young Ms. [name of the daughter of a local lord here]"

    A crate full of small constructs with impossibly cute eyes. When interacted with, they say things like "Play with me!" and "Feed me." When the PCs get bored and turn away, they say things like "I bet [name of other PC] has a tasty heart. Wouldn't you like to know?", "Let's find out together", "Ah, I haven't seen light in thirty years" and similar things.

    If you pay attention to them, they look perfectly normal and harmless, and these eyes are so, so cute <3 You can feel your desire to take one of them home with you...
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85sQ2ms-lrg#t=06m45s

  11. - Top - End - #41
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    BardGuy

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    Mar 2013

    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    *groan* there is nothing new in the world, is there.

    I was thinking of Furby's when I wrote that, then decided to put an evil twist on them, inspired by the Satanic Panic.
    Quote Originally Posted by Red Fel View Post
    But you, as DM, have to be prepared for the PCs to do something stupid and self-destructive, because they will. They can't help it. They're like adorable homicidal children with pennies near a light socket, except that the pennies are chainsaws and the light socket is your plot. Also, the chainsaws are on fire.

  12. - Top - End - #42

  13. - Top - End - #43
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    MindFlayer

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    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    76. A sound proofed, lead-lined, metal container. It is made in such a way that it is impossible to guess the state of the items within without opening it. It is labeled "1 miligram of uranium, a sensor, a hammer, a flask of poison, and 1 cat". The cat is dead due to dehydration.

  14. - Top - End - #44
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Goaty14's Avatar

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    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    77. Labeled: 101 Items for impromptu assault.

    Contains: Shards of wood, steel, and leather, Picking up a shard causes other shards to come out and materialize as a random exotic weapon.
    Spoiler
    Show
    Going to see how well I am at making homebrew.
    Quote Originally Posted by Venger View Post
    killing and eating a bag of rats is probably kosher.
    Gosh 2D8HP, you are so very correct (and also good looking), and your humility is stunning

    "I hope that you don't get the impression that I would munchkin the rules if I was in a D&D world IRL... Even though I totally would" -Myself

  15. - Top - End - #45
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    ClericGirl

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    Jan 2018

    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    78. A crate filled with various stacks of books, having differently colored bindings. They all describe a game system of playing a role in an imaginative world. The first set has plenty of tables, charts, extra rules and rulings and many re-writes and additional player options across, being nearly incomprehensible. The second book has a more streamlined ruling, although the play options are comically unbalanced and there's many extra books detailing all sorts of obscure professions and settings. The third set is rigorously consistent, everything is acutely balanced and all the passages read machine code instructions for how bland they are. The last set is significantly smaller, uses lots of weasel words and vaguely defined rules and uses copious amounts of fluff to hide its lack of structure.

  16. - Top - End - #46
    Pixie in the Playground
    Join Date
    May 2014

    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    A crate marked as containing 1 Gambler Chest.

    Contains small treasure chest made of a dark wood with silver instead of steel for all hinges and reinforcement. It is unlocked and empty with a keyhole shaped as a coin slot. A small note inside the chest says it accepts copper silver gold and platinum coins. When a coin is placed into the slot of the closed chest two things happen. The metalwork of the chest over 4 seconds changes into the same metal as the used coin. Secondly a randomized object or pouch of coins (1-100) appears inside the chest, more valuable based on the number and type of coin. It will most often give the user something of roughly equivalent or slightly lesser value but rarely will grant a much more expensive prize(a copper piece exchanging for an entire table setting in silver for example)The chest may also have a telepathic component as when a user is discouraged it will sometimes simply open with a few coins of higher value than those last used to entice further use.

  17. - Top - End - #47
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Imp

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    Jul 2015
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    This mortal coil.

    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    National Geographic magazine.

  18. - Top - End - #48
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Bohandas's Avatar

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    Feb 2016

    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    81.) 'Tobacco Accessories' - Contains weed paraphernalia

  19. - Top - End - #49
    Bugbear in the Playground
    Join Date
    Jun 2013

    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    Quote Originally Posted by Hugh Mann View Post
    76. A sound proofed, lead-lined, metal container. It is made in such a way that it is impossible to guess the state of the items within without opening it. It is labeled "1 miligram of uranium, a sensor, a hammer, a flask of poison, and 1 cat". The cat is dead due to dehydration.
    The cat is undead, due to an extended quantum paradox.

  20. - Top - End - #50
    Orc in the Playground
     
    RedWizardGuy

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    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    Damn mynocks. Probably chewing on the power converters.

  21. - Top - End - #51
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    Mar 2010

    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    82.) Contain: 1 Orb of infinite power. HANDLE WITH CARE. Contain a small metal orb. If touched, the player take 1d4 lightning damage. (The power might be infinite, but the output is quite small). With a bit of creativity can be used to make a magic weapon.

    83.) Contain: PERFECT HEALTH. Crate containing 82 serums of perfect health. Give 5 temporary hp that last 24h as well as advantage on con check for those 24h. The feeling is addictive, after the effect wear out, make a wisdom save dc 5+ 1 per consecutive doses taken or you feel the urge to take an other dose.

  22. - Top - End - #52

  23. - Top - End - #53
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    MonkGuy

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    Feb 2013
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    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    85) An oak crate labelled "Property of a Lady" which contains a solid 3000 lbs basalt sarcophagus of a demon, Hardness 12, with the Abyssal inscription Thou Art Already Damned. Breaking it to pieces uncovers a vorpal adamantine greatsword.
    Empyreal Lord of the Elysian Realm of Well-Intentioned Fail

  24. - Top - End - #54
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    DwarfClericGuy

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    SoCal
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    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    86: a crate which contains 101 mini-crates.

    What is in the mini-crates: start listing them now!
    mini-crate 001: An electrum thimbull

  25. - Top - End - #55
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    AssassinGuy

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    Dec 2008

    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    87) Labeled for delivery to a kingdom in the midst of a succession crisis - one stone, with sword embedded in it. The sword radiates strong magic of an indeterminate type.

  26. - Top - End - #56
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Lvl 2 Expert's Avatar

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    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    If you really want to go crazy, throw in these crates.
    The ultimate OOTS cookie cutter nameless soldier is the hobgoblin.

  27. - Top - End - #57
    Spamalot in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    88. The crate is labeled "grenades". It is filled with ordinary oranges, nothing more.
    89. The crate is full of various old receipts and transaction documents. On top of the stack is a folder labeled "Capone, Alphonse G. - Property of the Internal Revenue Service."


    Quote Originally Posted by gmoyes View Post
    12. Your newest party member
    This has happened twice to my old local group. It's a great 'WTF' moment for all PCs. :D
    Digo Dragon - Artist
    GitP Player Registry Entry
    Avatar by me - Doc Wagon

  28. - Top - End - #58
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Jay R's Avatar

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    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    90. A large crate, clearly marked "Spell components". It is entirely filled with bat guano, and if the crate is opened, it will be impossible to get the smell out of the hold.

  29. - Top - End - #59
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    RogueGuy

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    Jul 2014

    Default Re: 101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

    a crate filled with candles. the ones at the center of the bottom are magic.
    android girlfriend, some assembly required.
    an angry ninja.
    the first half of the meaning of life is that there isn't one.

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