101 Crates in a Smuggler's Hold

[Concrete]

51. A small cask marked: "Jorgmund special reserve, (appropriate year)”

It does contain liquor, but it is used to preserve a small, unsettling magical creature which may or may not come back to life if released, and may or may not have given the liquor unsettling qualities. Has a slight sulphur bouquet.

52. A large box marked: " Checker pieces, clay, (2000), Black, White.

The topmost checker pieces are real, but the lowest layer is actually platinum pieces baked into clay as a means to smuggle large amounts of currency.

53. Crate marked: "Paintings, Misc (26)

The paintings are pretty much garbage, but one of them contains visual code which will provide a certain spy with invaluable information. To anyone else, it's just a couple of dogs playing poker.

[Feddlefew]

54. The eye-like sensory organ of outerbeing, suspended in a magically reinforced crystal sphere about the size of a human head. It broadcasts information about nearby points of interest and tourist traps into the minds of all who meet its gaze, but is otherwise harmless.

55. A half-dragon goat.

[Braininthejar2]

56: a rune-bound black box containing something lovecraftian. If released, it will possess the nearest available host, and start preparations for a ritual to summon its boss, murdering as required to conceal its presence until then. It being aboard will cause various dark portents and misfortune to follow the ship, as it warps it surroundings with its very existence.

[khadgar567]

57. sealed glass lid coffin with elven woman in scanty clothing and note saying "bride for local lord do not open until delivery".

[eru001]

Lockbox: A wooden shipping crate, unlocked
contains locks

Von Menkompfts Magical Maneuverable Majestic Mighty Military Mechanisims: A solidly made hardwood crate
Contains: 6 Enchanted Repeating Crosbows, A miniature ballistae (3 inches long) which grows to a full sized ballistae when in contact with dirt, sand, or grass, a self propelled automatic battering ram, 6 collapsable shields, 2 spinning swords, 4 springloaded spears, 8 ballistic knives, an an instruction manual for the above written in cartoonishy german accented english.

Paltridge's Portable Pottery Pervayor's Pushcart
a four inch tall pushcart which grows to the size of a normal pushcart upon the use of the phrase "pots for sale" Contains assorted pottery. has a sign on it which reads "Property of Peter Packingham Paltridge"

Percussive Matinence Toolkit
Contains many hammers

Army Crate Mark E
Contains assorted dynamite, rockets, pies, springs, strings, ductape, an anvil, a refridgerator, an oversized cannon, four 18th century grenades, a pair of cross country skis, and an imperial socket wrench with several metric sockets.

Emergency Repair and Matinence Crate
Contains Aeresolized Lubricant, strong Adhesive Tape, and a message under the lid of the crate which says (If it moves and shouldn't apply tape, if it doesn't and should, apply Lubricant. )

Kobold Control Device
Contains Cattle Prod

Kolbold Rapid transit Device
Contains a Golf Club (2 Wood)

Goblin Handcuffs
Contains assorted rusty meat cleavers

Dwarven Handcuffs
Contains two pints of ale

Hans' Cuffs
Contains assorted fancy cufflinks

Locked crate wrapped in chains labled "DO NOT OPEN Contains Certain Death"
Contains a high level halfling assasin named "Certain Death" and a wanted poster for said halfling with the ludicrously high bounty circled in red.

[Bohandas]

70.) Whale oil

[Sparklelord]

71.) A useless brass tag to put by your name. Symbol with a sword.

72.) Another useless bronze tag to put by your name. Symbol with a hammer.

72.) A slip of paper with a somewhat good catchphrase. "It still only counts as one!"

No, not the sexy priestess outfit you were looking for. Would you like to buy another 101 crates? 15% off?

[khadgar567]

71.) A useless brass tag to put by your name. Symbol with a sword.

72.) Another useless bronze tag to put by your name. Symbol with a hammer.

72.) A slip of paper with a somewhat good catchphrase. "It still only counts as one!"

No, not the sexy priestess outfit you were looking for. Would you like to buy another 101 crates? 15% off?

73.) cursed sexy prietess outfit with fake holy book.

[LokiRagnarok]

74. "Toys for young Ms. [name of the daughter of a local lord here]"

A crate full of small constructs with impossibly cute eyes. When interacted with, they say things like "Play with me!" and "Feed me." When the PCs get bored and turn away, they say things like "I bet [name of other PC] has a tasty heart. Wouldn't you like to know?", "Let's find out together", "Ah, I haven't seen light in thirty years" and similar things.

If you pay attention to them, they look perfectly normal and harmless, and these eyes are so, so cute <3 You can feel your desire to take one of them home with you...

[Bohandas]

74. "Toys for young Ms. [name of the daughter of a local lord here]"

A crate full of small constructs with impossibly cute eyes. When interacted with, they say things like "Play with me!" and "Feed me." When the PCs get bored and turn away, they say things like "I bet [name of other PC] has a tasty heart. Wouldn't you like to know?", "Let's find out together", "Ah, I haven't seen light in thirty years" and similar things.

If you pay attention to them, they look perfectly normal and harmless, and these eyes are so, so cute <3 You can feel your desire to take one of them home with you...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85sQ2ms-lrg#t=06m45s

[LokiRagnarok]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85sQ2ms-lrg#t=06m45s

*groan* there is nothing new in the world, is there.

I was thinking of Furby's when I wrote that, then decided to put an evil twist on them, inspired by the Satanic Panic.

[Bohandas]

75.) Bath salts

[Hugh Mann]

76. A sound proofed, lead-lined, metal container. It is made in such a way that it is impossible to guess the state of the items within without opening it. It is labeled "1 miligram of uranium, a sensor, a hammer, a flask of poison, and 1 cat". The cat is dead due to dehydration.

[Goaty14]

77. Labeled: 101 Items for impromptu assault.

Contains: Shards of wood, steel, and leather, Picking up a shard causes other shards to come out and materialize as a random exotic weapon.

[MeimuHakurei]

78. A crate filled with various stacks of books, having differently colored bindings. They all describe a game system of playing a role in an imaginative world. The first set has plenty of tables, charts, extra rules and rulings and many re-writes and additional player options across, being nearly incomprehensible. The second book has a more streamlined ruling, although the play options are comically unbalanced and there's many extra books detailing all sorts of obscure professions and settings. The third set is rigorously consistent, everything is acutely balanced and all the passages read machine code instructions for how bland they are. The last set is significantly smaller, uses lots of weasel words and vaguely defined rules and uses copious amounts of fluff to hide its lack of structure.

[PastorofMuppets]

A crate marked as containing 1 Gambler Chest.

Contains small treasure chest made of a dark wood with silver instead of steel for all hinges and reinforcement. It is unlocked and empty with a keyhole shaped as a coin slot. A small note inside the chest says it accepts copper silver gold and platinum coins. When a coin is placed into the slot of the closed chest two things happen. The metalwork of the chest over 4 seconds changes into the same metal as the used coin. Secondly a randomized object or pouch of coins (1-100) appears inside the chest, more valuable based on the number and type of coin. It will most often give the user something of roughly equivalent or slightly lesser value but rarely will grant a much more expensive prize(a copper piece exchanging for an entire table setting in silver for example)The chest may also have a telepathic component as when a user is discouraged it will sometimes simply open with a few coins of higher value than those last used to entice further use.

[Whyrocknodie]

National Geographic magazine.

[Bohandas]

81.) 'Tobacco Accessories' - Contains weed paraphernalia

[Braininthejar2]

76. A sound proofed, lead-lined, metal container. It is made in such a way that it is impossible to guess the state of the items within without opening it. It is labeled "1 miligram of uranium, a sensor, a hammer, a flask of poison, and 1 cat". The cat is dead due to dehydration.

The cat is undead, due to an extended quantum paradox.

[redwizard007]

Damn mynocks. Probably chewing on the power converters.

[ko_sct]

82.) Contain: 1 Orb of infinite power. HANDLE WITH CARE. Contain a small metal orb. If touched, the player take 1d4 lightning damage. (The power might be infinite, but the output is quite small). With a bit of creativity can be used to make a magic weapon.

83.) Contain: PERFECT HEALTH. Crate containing 82 serums of perfect health. Give 5 temporary hp that last 24h as well as advantage on con check for those 24h. The feeling is addictive, after the effect wear out, make a wisdom save dc 5+ 1 per consecutive doses taken or you feel the urge to take an other dose.

[Bohandas]

84.) Garmonbozia

[TheYell]

85) An oak crate labelled "Property of a Lady" which contains a solid 3000 lbs basalt sarcophagus of a demon, Hardness 12, with the Abyssal inscription Thou Art Already Damned. Breaking it to pieces uncovers a vorpal adamantine greatsword.

[FreddyNoNose]

86: a crate which contains 101 mini-crates.

What is in the mini-crates: start listing them now!
mini-crate 001: An electrum thimbull

[TheStranger]

87) Labeled for delivery to a kingdom in the midst of a succession crisis - one stone, with sword embedded in it. The sword radiates strong magic of an indeterminate type.

[Lvl 2 Expert]

If you really want to go crazy, throw in these crates.

[DigoDragon]

88. The crate is labeled "grenades". It is filled with ordinary oranges, nothing more.
89. The crate is full of various old receipts and transaction documents. On top of the stack is a folder labeled "Capone, Alphonse G. - Property of the Internal Revenue Service."

12. Your newest party member

This has happened twice to my old local group. It's a great 'WTF' moment for all PCs. :D

[Jay R]

90. A large crate, clearly marked "Spell components". It is entirely filled with bat guano, and if the crate is opened, it will be impossible to get the smell out of the hold.

[vasilidor]

a crate filled with candles. the ones at the center of the bottom are magic.
android girlfriend, some assembly required.
an angry ninja.