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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    BlackDragon

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    Default Rejected kids toys!!!

    With the Holidays upon us I was thinking about gift ideas. Then my warped little brain started think about toys that you shouldn't be brought for kids. I'd like see how many rejected kids toys we can come up with.These toys can be real toys or ones that you make up. The reasons for being rejected can be form being to dangerous to just plan dumb. Please fallow the forums rules and have fun


    Toy Dragon that breaths real fire.

    Battle droid with real blaster rifle.
    Last edited by Hageshi; 2017-12-24 at 08:33 PM.

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    AuthorGirl's Avatar

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    Default Re: Rejected kids toys!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Hageshi View Post
    With the Holidays upon us I was thinking about gift ideas. Then my warped little brain started think about toys that you shouldn't be brought for kids. I'd like see how many rejected kids toys we can come up with.These toys can be real toys or ones that you make up. The reasons for being rejected can be form being to dangerous to just plan dumb. Please fallow the forums rules and have fun


    Toy Dragon that breaths real fire.

    Battle droid with real blaster raffle.
    Do you mean rifle, or actually raffle? Because the second would be even worse

  3. - Top - End - #3
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Kid Jake's Avatar

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    Default Re: Rejected kids toys!!!

    Ron Jeremy action figure with kung fu grip.
    Crossed plushies with prerecorded catchphrases.
    My First Straightrazor, Barber Playset.

    Quote Originally Posted by Winter_Wolf View Post
    At least we can say Kid Jake has style. And possibly is insane.
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  4. - Top - End - #4
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    BlackDragon

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    Default Re: Rejected kids toys!!!

    From Real Life:
    I feel like the Cussing Elmo toy needs to be listed, since that actually happened, IIRC. Ditto for the old "My First Chemistry Sets" with the ingredients for things like mustard gas, and the old rock/mineral sets that contains samples of natural asbestos and uranium (among other things). Toddler's toys containing lead/cadmium (special mention for teething toys) as well. Ah, the good old days.

    From Not-So-Real Life (As far as I know):
    Baby's First Arson Kit (Matches, lighter, and lighter fuel included. Burning Material Sold Separate)
    Exploding Marbles Set (Real glass exterior with a new and improved Nitro Glycerin interior!)
    Junior Catapult (Up to 25lb Capacity!)
    My Little VooDoo Doll (Pins Included. Really Works!)

  5. - Top - End - #5
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Vinyadan's Avatar

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    Default Re: Rejected kids toys!!!

    You know those little things with butterflies and bees and airplanes you put over cradles? Like that, only with live wasps.
    Quote Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien, 1955
    I thought Tom Bombadil dreadful — but worse still was the announcer's preliminary remarks that Goldberry was his daughter (!), and that Willowman was an ally of Mordor (!!).

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    SaintRidley's Avatar

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    Default Re: Rejected kids toys!!!

    Well, there was the vibrating toy Nimbus 2000 broomstick that was pulled pretty quickly after becoming a hit with the teenage girl demographic.
    Linguist and Invoker of Orcus of the Rudisplorker's Guild
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    Fantasy literature is ONLY worthwhile for what it can tell us about the real world; everything else is petty escapism.
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    No author should have to take the time to say, "This little girl ISN'T evil, folks!" in order for the reader to understand that. It should be assumed that no first graders are irredeemably Evil unless the text tells you they are.

  7. - Top - End - #7
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Mystic Muse's Avatar

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    Default Re: Rejected kids toys!!!

    How about lawn darts?

    All the fun of real darts, now using giant spikes instead.

  8. - Top - End - #8
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Anonymouswizard's Avatar

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    Default Re: Rejected kids toys!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by SaintRidley View Post
    Well, there was the vibrating toy Nimbus 2000 broomstick that was pulled pretty quickly after becoming a hit with the teenage girl demographic.
    ...Is it wrong that my response to this is to want to market 'my first vibrator' sets? Because the main thing I see wrong is the toys being pulled or not being sanitary.


    For the little engineer in the family, a railgun kit, complete with power source, two rails of equal length, ball bearings, and a scope.
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    RIP Laser-Snail, may you live on in our hearts forever.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

  9. - Top - End - #9
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Scarlet Knight's Avatar

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    Default Re: Rejected kids toys!!!

    Real Major League Gnomish Baseball equipment! Autographed by "Stabs" Doogan!
    "We are the people our parents warned us about!" - J.Buffett

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  10. - Top - End - #10
    Titan in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Rejected kids toys!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Scarlet Knight View Post
    Real Major League Gnomish Baseball equipment! Autographed by "Stabs" Doogan!
    I'm not so Rusty as not to be in the company of those who got this reference.
    On the subject . . . My First Knife Juggling kit, with razor sharp blades to encourage extra fast hand-eye coordination.
    Quote Originally Posted by Calanon View Post
    Raven_Cry's comments often have the effects of a +5 Tome of Understanding

  11. - Top - End - #11
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Rejected kids toys!!!

    Cherry and chocolate flavored rubber bands.

    Also, the Little Einsteins Baby's First Nuclear Energy Kit.
    Last edited by Stelio Kontos; 2017-12-11 at 09:33 PM.

  12. - Top - End - #12

    Default Re: Rejected kids toys!!!

    Slingshot
    Model Rocket
    Chess Set
    Pen Knife
    Magnifying Glass
    Cherry Bombs
    Army Men minis
    Cowboy Six Shooter
    Cowboys and Indians minis
    Civil War minis
    Revolutionary War minis
    Handcuffs
    Hammer and Nails
    Pack of Matches
    Chemistry Set
    Stretch Armstrong

  13. - Top - End - #13
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Knaight's Avatar

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    Default Re: Rejected kids toys!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard View Post
    ...Is it wrong that my response to this is to want to market 'my first vibrator' sets? Because the main thing I see wrong is the toys being pulled or not being sanitary.
    Sanitation is the first thing that came to my mind too - any surface intended for internal use needs some pretty specific surfaces to avoid issues with bacteria, and that's before getting into cleaning requirements that these brooms almost certainly failed. Sepsis is not fun.

  14. - Top - End - #14
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    PunsAndDragons's Avatar

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    Default Re: Rejected kids toys!!!

    Lead miniatures!

  15. - Top - End - #15
    Titan in the Playground
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    Default Re: Rejected kids toys!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Donnadogsoth View Post
    Slingshot
    Model Rocket
    Chess Set
    Pen Knife
    Magnifying Glass
    Cherry Bombs
    Army Men minis
    Cowboy Six Shooter
    Cowboys and Indians minis
    Civil War minis
    Revolutionary War minis
    Handcuffs
    Hammer and Nails
    Pack of Matches
    Chemistry Set
    Stretch Armstrong
    All of which I had, and loved, as a child.

  16. - Top - End - #16
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Bohandas's Avatar

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    Default Re: Rejected kids toys!!!

    What if there was a baby doll that pooped actual poop (out of a little internal chamber that would have to be refilled from time to time)
    "If you want to understand biology don't think about vibrant throbbing gels and oozes, think about information technology" -Richard Dawkins

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  17. - Top - End - #17
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Knaight's Avatar

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    Default Re: Rejected kids toys!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Jay R View Post
    All of which I had, and loved, as a child.
    All of which are also still available.

  18. - Top - End - #18
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Rejected kids toys!!!

    How about a My Little Pony glue-factory playset

    or how about "Operation: Nazi War Atrocitoes Edition"

    EDIT:

    Magic Cocaine 8-Ball

    Walter White Chemistry Set

    Bobbleheads of famous serial killers

    Pullstring doll of Albert Fish that talks about eating children
    Last edited by Bohandas; 2017-12-30 at 11:55 AM.
    "If you want to understand biology don't think about vibrant throbbing gels and oozes, think about information technology" -Richard Dawkins

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  19. - Top - End - #19

    Default Re: Rejected kids toys!!!

    How about a videogame where you steal cars and beat up hookers while murdering police officers?

    Oh wait.

  20. - Top - End - #20
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Rejected kids toys!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Donnadogsoth View Post
    How about a videogame where you steal cars and beat up hookers while murdering police officers?

    Oh wait.
    This, but in the "Pokémon Go" version.
    Quote Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien, 1955
    I thought Tom Bombadil dreadful — but worse still was the announcer's preliminary remarks that Goldberry was his daughter (!), and that Willowman was an ally of Mordor (!!).

  21. - Top - End - #21
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Bohandas's Avatar

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    Default Re: Rejected kids toys!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by kgato503 View Post
    Exploding Marbles Set (Real glass exterior with a new and improved Nitro Glycerin interior!)
    I feel like this would work better if they were made of nitrocellulose
    "If you want to understand biology don't think about vibrant throbbing gels and oozes, think about information technology" -Richard Dawkins

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  22. - Top - End - #22
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Mystic Muse's Avatar

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    Default Re: Rejected kids toys!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Donnadogsoth View Post
    How about a videogame where you steal cars and beat up hookers while murdering police officers?

    Oh wait.
    You mean Grand Theft Auto, the one intended for adults, NOT children?

  23. - Top - End - #23
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    NecromancerGuy

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    Default Re: Rejected kids toys!!!

    Considering the skit was running again a few days ago:

    „We build a nuclear plant” model kit.
    If you make a mistake it makes „poof” and the whole diorama falls over.
    And you have a fist sized hole in the floor...
    "If it lives it can be killed.
    If it is dead it can be eaten."

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  24. - Top - End - #24
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Vinyadan's Avatar

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    Default Re: Rejected kids toys!!!

    My First Undead Horror (Flaming Edition)



    Also, directly from the Roman legions: lawn darts.
    Quote Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien, 1955
    I thought Tom Bombadil dreadful — but worse still was the announcer's preliminary remarks that Goldberry was his daughter (!), and that Willowman was an ally of Mordor (!!).

  25. - Top - End - #25
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Bohandas's Avatar

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    Default Re: Rejected kids toys!!!

    How about a pack of smokes
    Last edited by Bohandas; 2017-12-30 at 04:29 PM.
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  26. - Top - End - #26
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Bohandas's Avatar

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    Default Re: Rejected kids toys!!!

    Red Ryder, carbine action, 200-shot, range model air rifle, with a compass in the stock and this thing that tells time
    "If you want to understand biology don't think about vibrant throbbing gels and oozes, think about information technology" -Richard Dawkins

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  27. - Top - End - #27
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Vinyadan's Avatar

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    Default Re: Rejected kids toys!!!

    My First Jet Engine
    Quote Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien, 1955
    I thought Tom Bombadil dreadful — but worse still was the announcer's preliminary remarks that Goldberry was his daughter (!), and that Willowman was an ally of Mordor (!!).

  28. - Top - End - #28
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Anonymouswizard's Avatar

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    Default Re: Rejected kids toys!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Mystic Muse View Post
    You mean Grand Theft Auto, the one intended for adults, NOT children?
    While I tend to think that age ratings on various pieces of media tend to be too strict (to the point where I'm happy that the UK 12 rating* has been replaced with 12A in cinemas, to give parents more control over what's suitable), I have to agree here that the issue isn't with the game itself.

    Now, I have never played a GTA game, but I did love Saint's Row 2, and I've heard the series are very similar. The problem is that, like with many other video games, parents assume that all games are for children.

    I first played Dragon Age: Origins (rating 18) at 16, and it did me no harm, but this was an informed choice by the person that bought it for me. They knew that I liked that kind of game and decided that I was likely able to handle the content. Conversely my parents forbid me from seeing Alien until I was 18, because there is some disturbing stuff in there they thought I wasn't able to handle (the same with The Godfather and other films, their strategy was to wait until I was 18 and expressed interest).

    The problem with gangster sandbox games isn't that they're aimed at children. Unlike some 18 rated games they tend to have storylines aimed at adults that do ask questions. It's not that they're not adequately signposted. They're generally rated as 18s and have adult oriented advertising. It's that people disregard the signposting because their child wants to play the latest Grand Theft Auto.

    FWIW, I certainly don't think there's anything in SR2 that would make it bad to give to a 15 year old (depending on the exact 15 year old, there's some people in their twenties I wouldn't hand Prince of Egypt to), although I get that making it an 18 is safer and a parent always has the right to disregard the rating when buying for their kid, so in the long run it doesn't matter. Not even removing the pixelation would change my mind (my view on nudity is a bit more continental than some peoples, although I still get awkward around it in reality). Maybe the GTA games have even more disturbing stuff that merits the rating, but that's not the actual problem. The problem is that there are still many parents who think all games are for children, no matter if they're rated U, PG/8+, 12, 15, or 18. If a parent makes an informed decision that this 18 rated game is fine for their 13 year old, then that's fine. But the decisions many times aren't informed.

    Yes, I did occasionally ask my mum to buy me 18 rated games when I was 15-17, just like I occasionally watched a 15 rated rated film at 13-14. My mum was probably too accepting of that, but I was never asking for games like CoD and GTA (the only example I can remember is DA2). It's not caused me any harm, but if she'd done the same thing when I was 12 I could have had problems. I also read some adult books at that age, and let me tell you that Frankenstein had more problematic stuff in it than Dragon Age 2, and yet if I walked into a bookstore at 12 and tried to buy a copy of The Reality Dysfunction (a book with some REALLY disturbing imagery) nobody would bat an eye.

    This post is kind of messy, I guess my point is that compared to some stuff, GTA is not meant for children, does not try to hide that, and is adequately signposted. Therefore using it as an example of a bad kid's toy is inherently flawed, especially as it theoretically could be suitable for older children (although ones that would resent the term being applied to them). But a game that aimed itself at children but included the same stuff? A totally valid possibility that may or may not exist in reality (I don't think it does, but I could be proven wrong).

    * I'm going to be using the UK rating system, the important thing is that after U and PG everything is rated as the lowest age that can legally be admitted to a cinema screening, in 3 year increments.
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    RIP Laser-Snail, may you live on in our hearts forever.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

  29. - Top - End - #29
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Bohandas's Avatar

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    Default Re: Rejected kids toys!!!

    I'm not sure if this one is real or not

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9qv8RSreIM
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  30. - Top - End - #30

    Default Re: Rejected kids toys!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Bohandas View Post
    How about a pack of smokes
    Popeye candy cigarettes?

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