Quote Based Worldbuilding: Third Time's the Charm

[D20ragon]

Hey all, it's time for the near-annual revival of this project
To anyone familiar with this: welcome back! And to anyone new, here's the explanation (stolen from the last time I made one of these threads): This is a communal world building thread that is run in a very specific way. I write a quote, without naming who said it. Then, the next poster quotes my quote, this time also adding the speaker, the date if they wish, and a little bit of relevant context if needed. Then, they write their own quote, without naming who said it, and the cycle continues. It's best if people don't fall into a cycle of immediately answering the quotes, so everyone has a chance, but of course, if you have a perfect answer, go ahead. Here's a demonstration:

Writer 1: "By God, Jeremy, I don't think we'll make it out of the atmosphere in time!"
Writer 2: "By God, Jeremy, I don't think we'll make it out of the atmosphere in time!" - Sir Hadsby, Commander of the Silver Petunia, on the day the Baron poisoned the sky.
Writer 2: "You're an old relic, aren't you? Why don't we get you polished up?'
etc

(It is worth noting that in the past people have used altered versions of movie quotes, song lyrics, etc as quotes. This is totally fine, so long as that quote isn't a cultural touchstone that would break immersion. You know, don't pull from Star Wars or say, the Gettysburg address.)

Let's see how many people are (still) interested in this! I don't have a particular theme in mind, so I suppose we'll figure out what kind of setting we've got based on the first few quotes. Have fun, interpret quotes in interesting ways, and incorporate whatever you wish into this lovely world of ours, within reason. Remember, these quotes can be from the past, present, or future of this world.
The usual common sense rules apply: random doesn't equal helpful or even funny, don't make a quote directly contradicting someone else's, and vice versa, don't try to undercut other's quotes by attributing them to "weak" or pointless speakers. Without further ado, here's the first quote:

"Devils are wicked in the way that men are wicked. The evil of demons is beyond men."

[Devcon1]

"Devil's are wicked in the way that men are wicked. The evil of demons is beyond men."
- Famous quote from the "Grand Codex of the Lower Planes", authored by the renowned arcanaloth Mizzrym Rubyscroll before her mysterious disappearance on the plane of Archeron

"A dragon should be judged on the value of its hoard, not its hoard's size."

[Hugh Mann]

"A dragon should be judged on the value of its hoard, not its hoard's size."
-The last words of an Unnamed Heretic, who dared to issue a complaint in the presence of The God King Dycathor, long shall he reign, at the judging ceremony of the 23rd Dragon Culling.

"Sure, Angels are decent enough, but you wouldn't trust one with your kids."

[noob]

"Sure, Angels are decent enough, but you wouldn't trust one with your kids."
-Tom Waldo an angel spy.

"Nothing ever got out of that event horizon so why are we watching it all day"

[Dromedary]

"Nothing ever got out of that event horizon so why are we watching it all day"
-Harry Dunlaw, a simple citizen of Stranton's Threshold, the town at the edge of the world.

"I know you could surpass and barrier in Seramoore, but don't you think you'll eventually find something that is locked for a reason?"

[D20ragon]

"I know you could surpass and barrier in Seramoore, but don't you think you'll eventually find something that is locked for a reason?"
- William the Charmed, Opium Salesmen.

"Aye, Seramoore, the locked city of thieves. That's what I said, ain't it? Just get me in, boys. I'll see to it that if all the angels in heaven sought us out, they'd find nothing but some old travel papers."

[Devcon1]

"Aye, Seramoore, the locked city of thieves. That's what I said, ain't it? Just get me in, boys. I'll see to it that if all the angels in heaven sought us out, they'd find nothing but some old travel papers."
- Oculus "Evil Eye" Orlok, cyclops leader of the Night Blights thieves guild, while on the run from angels after unsuccessfully attempting to steal a celestial artifact

"Daddy, the garden tried to eat Mr. Whiskers again!"

[Bob_McSurly]

"Daddy, the garden tried to eat Mr. Whiskers again!"
- Lilith, 8 year old Halfling princess, refering to her pet opossum.

"Well, I don't know why the air force isn't here yet. This could get messy people".

[DMwithoutPC's]

"Well, I don't know why the air force isn't here yet. This could get messy people".

Captain Deastrum Witfull, acting militia captain at the siege of Waxcastle. Without the promised support from the Celestial Reaches, the siege lasted 170 more days and nearly the entire legion perished.

"Exalted Lords and Ladies of the Highest Senate. I stand before you to address the issue Seramoore. To many words have been spilled on that bulwark of scum and villainy, and the thread it poses to the Celestial Reaches, and the Ascended Accord as a whole. While we fret and bicker about morales and humane solutions, I reccomend going the simplest option we have at our disposal. No more half measures, no more negotations, no more treaties that get ignored and insulted.

Exalted Lords and ladies. Lets seal the whole place shut"

[JbeJ275]

"Exalted Lords and Ladies of the Highest Senate. I stand before you to address the issue Seramoore. To many words have been spilled on that bulwark of scum and villainy, and the thread it poses to the Celestial Reaches, and the Ascended Accord as a whole. While we fret and bicker about morales and humane solutions, I reccomend going the simplest option we have at our disposal. No more half measures, no more negotations, no more treaties that get ignored and insulted.

Exalted Lords and ladies. Lets seal the whole place shut"
High Lady Isabella, from a speech two days before she died of natural circumstances leading to the council's dispersion.

"I don't know who you are, or why you feel you can tell me what to do. But if you could kindly shut up and stand quietly in the corner I would be very grateful"

[Hugh Mann]

"I don't know who you are, or why you feel you can tell me what to do. But if you could kindly shut up and stand quietly in the corner I would be very grateful"
-Arch Wizard Stranton, on the day Seramoore and all lands Eastward vanished into the event horizon.

"I find it appalling that the Seramoore problem has escalated so far that both the Celestial Reaches and Domain of Archeron combined have fallen fiscally behind a Kingdom of Halflings so stupid that they choose to live in a forest filled with giant carnivorous plants."

[Dromedary]

"I find it appalling that the Seramoore problem has escalated so far that both the Celestial Reaches and Domain of Archeron combined have fallen fiscally behind a Kingdom of Halflings so stupid that they choose to live in a forest filled with giant carnivorous plants."
~Sigmund Lycanders, a political commentator and author, who is also notorious for his anti-halfling views which show up quite often in his writings.

"The groom was not stolen or hung upside down covered in chains and padlocks. The bride's dress had no pockets, and the wedding cake was not served by three halflings atop each other. Needless to say the wedding was a disaster."

[Thorongil]

"The groom was not stolen or hung upside down covered in chains and padlocks. The bride's dress had no pockets, and the wedding cake was not served by three halflings atop each other. Needless to say the wedding was a disaster."
~ Ezra Grayson, an acquirer of rare antiquities, (usually from sundry ruins, enemies, and clients), to another patron of the Heraklitos Club.

"Take my advice, traveler, and steer clear o'them queer monks up in the hills. Spend their days peering through fuzzy lenses, noses pressed into dusty tomes. They're a downright wan and twitchy lot, but anyone in town will tell ye that they drink like drowned fish when the moon is up."

[D20ragon]

"Take my advice, traveler, and steer clear o'them queer monks up in the hills. Spend their days peering through fuzzy lenses, noses pressed into dusty tomes. They're a downright wan and twitchy lot, but anyone in town will tell ye that they drink like drowned fish when the moon is up."
William the Tinkerer, traveling automobile mechanic, several hours before he fled the quiet town of Mayford and the yellow, prying eyes of the monks in the surrounding hills and vales.


“Cheers, my friends, and drink to the day that we’ll toast in Stranton’s Threshold. Perhaps not until our hair has faded and the angels have begun to mark us down in their record books. But drink all the same. ”

[Dromedary]

“Cheers, my friends, and drink to the day that we’ll toast in Stranton’s Threshold. Perhaps not until our hair has faded and the angels have begun to mark us down in their record books. But drink all the same. ”
~Tommis Ivers Black, great explorer and captain of the Sand Sailors.

"I stopped calling them angels when they flayed my father."

[DMwithoutPC's]

“Cheers, my friends, and drink to the day that we’ll toast in Stranton’s Threshold. Perhaps not until our hair has faded and the angels have begun to mark us down in their record books. But drink all the same. ”
~Tommis Ivers Black, great explorer and captain of the Sand Sailors.

"I stopped calling them angels when they flayed my father."

Dannra Halffinger, Slayers Guild initiate


"... And south of Seeramoore lies The Ebon Baronies, and beyond those the halflings Wildergrowth Reaches, beware of those woods young'un, the trees eat more then just 'possums. But if you go even further south, you'll reach the Keepsake March. Now thats where the real interesting exploratuib can begin"

[Bob_McSurly]

"... And south of Seeramoore lies The Ebon Baronies, and beyond those the halflings Wildergrowth Reaches, beware of those woods young'un, the trees eat more then just 'possums. But if you go even further south, you'll reach the Keepsake March. Now thats where the real interesting exploratuib can begin"
- Bob Liliquen, in his seminal work "The Guide to Exploratuib"

"What the Zeus is an Exploratuib"

[Benthesquid]

"
"What the Zeus is an Exploratuib"

~Harald Geatskin, wealthy merchant and patron of Bob Liquen, upon the presentation of the latter's book

"They say my grandfather's art could bind an angel to a surface no larger than the head of a pin. We'll start the bidding for the keys to his workshop at a Dukedom, thank you very much."

[D20ragon]

"They say my grandfather's art could bind an angel to a surface no larger than the head of a pin. We'll start the bidding for the keys to his workshop at a Dukedom, thank you very much."
- Adeline Varden, grandaughter of Slayer William the Cripple, and distinguished member of the Heraklitos Club.


"The study of the half-men is, ultimately, a frustrating one. Although occasionally the ways that individual halflings differ from men are immediately evident (missing eyes, mouths, even limbs, shortened stature, etc.), far more difficult to remark upon are those individuals who lack joy, sorrow, rage, a conscience, or such insubstantial traits. It is a marvel that their strange woodland kingdom persists at all - one would not assume a society created by and for incomplete beings to be a lasting construct."

[Hugh Mann]

"The study of the half-men is, ultimately, a frustrating one. Although occasionally the ways that individual halflings differ from men are immediately evident (missing eyes, mouths, even limbs, shortened stature, etc.), far more difficult to remark upon are those individuals who lack joy, sorrow, rage, a conscience, or such insubstantial traits. It is a marvel that their strange woodland kingdom persists at all - one would not assume a society created by and for incomplete beings to be a lasting construct."

-Bob Liliquen, in his seminal work "The Guide to Exploratuib" . Specifically, chapter 4, "Halflings: the Half Formed People".

"Repetitive tests has proven the Cripple's recipe with a 97% success rate. In failed testing 2 out of the 3 that escaped were weakened enough to be captured immediately afterwards, the third broke one of its wings in the ensuing fight and is presumed in hiding. Our armed forces have quarantined the forest preventing the escapee from reaching its superiors. A misinformation campaign is being spread across the surrounding areas about an outbreak of Demon's Blight in the our lands in order to prevent information of our experiments from reaching the ears of the humans.

While steps are being taken to research why some angel's can resist the nails, I believe that the margin of error is small enough that we can safely move to Phase 2."

[DMwithoutPC's]

"Repetitive tests has proven the Cripple's recipe with a 97% success rate. In failed testing 2 out of the 3 that escaped were weakened enough to be captured immediately afterwards, the third broke one of its wings in the ensuing fight and is presumed in hiding. Our armed forces have quarantined the forest preventing the escapee from reaching its superiors. A misinformation campaign is being spread across the surrounding areas about an outbreak of Demon's Blight in the our lands in order to prevent information of our experiments from reaching the ears of the humans.

While steps are being taken to research why some angel's can resist the nails, I believe that the margin of error is small enough that we can safely move to Phase 2."

Report of Ximme Tichim, Agent of the Dwarven Realist Assembly, working on the Independence Project

"You stole the Pitchfork of a Duke of Fellfire? and you brought it to my house! You better have a real good story for this!"

[Inchoroi]

"You stole the Pitchfork of a Duke of Fellfire? and you brought it to my house! You better have a real good story for this!"

—Thelli, bereaved mother of the rogue adventurer Airic, upon seeing a burning pitchfork setting fire to her new curtains.



"What price did you pay for the secrets you possess?"

[JbeJ275]

"What price did you pay for the secrets you possess?"

Maria Valdez a healer tasked with dressing the wounds of Danna Halffinger after her attempts to infiltrate an angelic Bastion

“I want them brought to me, dead, alive or somewhere in between it doesn’t matter”

[Inchoroi]

Maria Valdez a healer tasked with dressing the wounds of Danna Halffinger after her attempts to infiltrate an angelic Bastion

“I want them brought to me, dead, alive or somewhere in between it doesn’t matter”

—Duke Broderick the Younger, to his court, upon the theft of his crown and betrothed.


"How could they have gotten over the Walls!? The Walls that surround my city are 30 feet high! Find them! Burn them at the stake for their insolence!"

[D20ragon]

"How could they have gotten over the Walls!? The Walls that surround my city are 30 feet high! Find them! Burn them at the stake for their insolence!"
- Gregor Black, Mayor of Old Seramoore.


"I'll take a horse over an automobile any day. At least with a horse I can guess what it's thinking."

[Dromedary]

"I'll take a horse over an automobile any day. At least with a horse I can guess what it's thinking."
~Nicolai Heart, founder of Heart Automobiles, in a private interview.

"A dagger is the scoundrel's blade and a spear is the sword of a coward."

[Lleban]

"A dagger is the scoundrel's blade and a spear is the sword of a coward."
Eric von Lancaster, Lightning guard of the Moon Empress


"I swear this is the last time I take a loan from a dragon....for real this time."

[bc56]

"I swear this is the last time I take a loan from a dragon....for real this time."

Lord Elric the Foolish, after borrowing a vast sum of gold from a neighboring red dragon to bid on the keys to Slayer William the Cripple's workshop. The interest rate was exorbitant.


"We can't go around arresting the Thieves' Guild! I mean, we'd be at it all day!"

[Tentreto]

"We can't go around arresting the Thieves' Guild! I mean, we'd be at it all day!"

Admiral William Pentos upon receiving orders to arrest all members of the Thieves in Old Seramoore. He was notably the only Admiral who survived the Midnight War.


"I may not be a Slayer, but I'll be dammed if I let you escape. Farewell old friend."

[Benthesquid]

"I may not be a Slayer, but I'll be dammed if I let you escape. Farewell old friend."

Harla Jorsdottir, Warden of the Black Cells, to the Fivefold Angel, during the flooding of Ankopolis.

"Bend my back and break my will
In service to the moon.
Burn my flesh and scorch my soul
Drown me or beat me or swallow me whole
So long as it's in service
To the empress of the moon."