My Little Pony XCVIII: Still Haven't Caught Up on Season 7!

[gooddragon1]

Warning: Contains TVTropes link

So I was contemplating setting-appropriate expressions in MLP, and in particular trying to come up with some equivalent for G**d*** i*. Something relating to Celestia would be the obvious choice ("I can't just send her off to Celestia knows where!" for example), but her name doesn't really flow for that sort of invective. A lot of fanfic uses "Faust" in reference to a creator, so I came up with "Faust Joss it!" I think it works very well, in a rather meta sort of way.

Thoughts?

Hoof slam it?

[Silfir]

Lauren hasn't been able to Joss a thing since season 2, more's the pity.

"Aw horsefeathers" is an example of what the show uses for profanity. That's about where I'd leave it.

[zimmerwald1915]

"Good Heavens" has been used as an oath, I believe.

[Alabenson]

"Peeved" has also been used previously as a profanity, and is apparently a strong enough swear to merit a mare putting her hooves over the ears of her foal.

I've also used "rut" as a swear in my own fics.

[zimmerwald1915]

"Peeved" has also been used previously as a profanity, and is apparently a strong enough swear to merit a mare putting her hooves over the ears of her foal.

Why do people take this gag seriously?

Why do people take gags seriously?

[Rater202]

"Peeved" has also been used previously as a profanity, and is apparently a strong enough swear to merit a mare putting her hooves over the ears of her foal.

I've also used "rut" as a swear in my own fics.

"I see ya trotting down town with the mare I love, and I'm like, 'rut you-oo-ooh.' "

Link is to the most SFW version of the song I could find, though I have to imagine that Fluttershy would still be scandalized.

[zimmerwald1915]

Lauren hasn't been able to Joss a thing since season 2, more's the pity.

"Aw horsefeathers" is an example of what the show uses for profanity. That's about where I'd leave it.

"Ponyfeathers." Saddle Arabians have never been shown with wings

[DigoDragon]

Spoilered due to excessively high power levels.

Well now I can't stop thinking of a AJ/Sunset ship of them as Goku and Chichi. So... thanks? XD

Hoof slam it?

I've used 'Moon damn it' a couple times.

"Peeved" has also been used previously as a profanity, and is apparently a strong enough swear to merit a mare putting her hooves over the ears of her foal.

Gohan: "Alright, consider my pet peeved!"


The Starlight/Trixie arts are back!

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LOL, this chocolate Pinkie's expression is pricess!

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[Alabenson]

Why do people take this gag seriously?

Why do people take gags seriously?

Because a) the idea of Fluttershy using full on profanity is hilarious and b) we'll take whatever scraps of cannon worldbuilding we can get our hooves on.

[gooddragon1]

...get our hooves on...

Claws. Dragon :p :D

[zimmerwald1915]

Claws. Dragon :p :D

Have . . . have you not been transmogrified yet?

Because that can be arranged.

[gooddragon1]

Have . . . have you not been transmogrified yet?

Because that can be arranged.

Spell resistance save me from this turbulent pony!

There's totally dragons in mlp though right?

EDIT:
And that goes both ways (from an earlier post)...

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EDIT:
Isn't a dragon basically just a scaled alicorn with a breath weapon (maybe with or without horns)?

[zimmerwald1915]

There's totally dragons in mlp though right?

No? Whatever gave you that idea?

[Rater202]

No? Whatever gave you that idea?

The baby dragon that lives with Princess Twilight Sparkle?

That's a dragon, right? I'm gonna feel really stupid if she just painted an alligator purple or something.

[gooddragon1]

No? Whatever gave you that idea?

Fluttershy pwns that big scary Dragon [HD] (1080p)

Though to be fair, wasn't he just living there? They even woke him up from a nice nap. Of course he would be grumpy... though he showed enough restraint to just use smoke instead of fire breath even after being kicked by dash.

[zimmerwald1915]

(guise, I'm not entirely serious)

[gooddragon1]

(guise, I'm not entirely serious)

O i kno... but it's fun... and in continuation :X

Dragonshy encounter more complete view

I'm glad that she learned afterwards that there's more to dragons than just being Huge, gigantic, terrifying, enormous, teeth gnashing, sharp scale having, smoke snoring, could eat a pony in one bite, and totally all grown up.

She of course forgot (among other things):
+9th and epic level spellcasting
+breath weapon possessing
+Damage Reduction having (technically under scales)
+Spell like ability using
+Enduring/Fast Flying

[zimmerwald1915]

I'm glad that she learned afterwards that there's more to dragons than just being Huge, gigantic, terrifying, enormous, teeth gnashing, sharp scale having, smoke snoring, could eat a pony in one bite, and totally all grown up.

Does there need to be? What more could one want out of life?

[gooddragon1]

Does there need to be? What more could one want out of life?

Dragons can be sensitive too and have (as mentioned above):
+9th and epic level spellcasting
+breath weapon possessing
+Damage Reduction having (technically under scales)
+Spell like ability using
+Enduring/Fast Flying

[zimmerwald1915]

Dragons can be sensitive too and have (as mentioned above):
+9th and epic level spellcasting
+breath weapon possessing
+Damage Reduction having (technically under scales)
+Spell like ability using
+Enduring/Fast Flying

Figured that was implied.

Which is why my post should be read "what more could anyone want out of life than to be a dragon, with all that entails?"

[gooddragon1]

Figured that was implied.

Which is why my post should be read "what more could anyone want out of life than to be a dragon, with all that entails?"

People Ponies always judging though. Damage reduction doesn't block words :(

[PSA]
Seriously, diplomancers with a 50 on a diplomacy check are a real problem. Did you know that last year alone over 10 dragons were forced into hard labor by unethical diplomancers? It's important to deploy contingencies against all situations no matter how unlikely. Now you know. And knowing is half the battle.
[/PSA]

Think of this theme when reading that PSA.

[zimmerwald1915]

People Ponies always judging though.

That which is judgey is also tasty.

[DigoDragon]

Isn't a dragon basically just a scaled alicorn with a breath weapon (maybe with or without horns)?

Uh, no. Dragons don't do the hug thing. ;)

That's a dragon, right? I'm gonna feel really stupid if she just painted an alligator purple or something.

I want to find a fanfic where Twilight and Pinkie do this with Gummy while Spike is away.

[Aotrs Commander]

Got me there. But ever since I discovered through arcane research and extensive debate with every other dragon the fact that Luna is the best princess (it seems to be some sort of existential constant like conservation of matter*), I just couldn't even try to eat ponies for the first time.

*If Aotrs has been looking into certain aspects of arcana he could probably back this up.

I have, and I can conclusively prove your research is incorrect, deeply flawed and just, well, completely wrong and the true hierarchy of princesses is Cadance > Celestia > Luna > Twilight (with Flurry taking the top spot if we merely count alicorns).
Mind you, what do you expect when you send a living creature to do a Lich's job, right?

[Aotrs Commander]

Do you have any pictures to present as evidence of this claim of being better?

I have a ten-thousand word technical paper, as worked on by my top Aotrs staff.

It is, however, all in Chillspeak, and furthermore located on the Bleak Despair's main computer, which is incompatible (funnily enough) with Windows, in the same way that Windows is incompatible with an ancient Roman wax tablet.

The gist, however, is something like love-fuelled Paladin Princess Protector of the Crystal Empire verses reigning monarch for over a thousand years verses ex-con verses librarian (and Goddess of Destruction if we include Flurry).



But, speaking of Rome:

Spoiler: 141 years to go...

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I got really excited when I saw the new Grand Conquest cassus belli, allowing me to grab tons of enemy land - right up until I was about to declare war and found that the enemy has to have 95% or more of your army size.

So, back to piecemeal holy wars, then.

370 hours logged so far...


(And frequent stops to fight the RNG and to faff about with the vice-royal kingdoms, especially with the new apparent feature that sometimes counts will decide randomly go independant every time, forcing me to waste time crushing them back into de jure leadership.)

[zimmerwald1915]

The gist, however, is something like love-fuelled Paladin Princess Protector of the Crystal Empire verses reigning monarch for over a thousand years verses ex-con verses librarian (and Goddess of Destruction if we include Flurry).

It feels weird for me to say this after all this time, but I feel like you're actually being a bit unfair to Twilight, especially when compared with Cadance. By which I mean that the description "love*-fueled paladin princess protector" could be applied about equally well to both, and that it's just easier to build a headcanon around Cadance because we see less of her daily life than we do Twilight's. Also, that description of her role, "protector of the Crystal Empire," comes from Twilight herself, and is incomplete. Celestia gives a more thorough description of what the Crystal Empire is for. When it is filled with hope and love, those things are reflected across all of Equestria. This is symbolized by the aurora that emerges from the Empire when the Crystal Heart is charged (the same aurora for which Twilight asks in The Movie). Thus, Cadance's role is actually to spread hope and love across Equestria. This is perfectly in keeping with the general role of an Equestrian princess, which is to embody and promote some virtue.

Best Princess, therefore, would be the one most accomplished at embodying and promoting her virtue. First, let us identify the virtues. I've done this elsewhere, but I enjoy repeating this litany, so here goes again. Cadance's has already been mentioned to be hope and love - let's call that amity, which might not be the best word** but this way all the virtues rhyme. Celestia is a lightbringer, prophetess, judge, and teacher; her virtue is clarity. Luna battles nightmares to bring restful sleep, and as her alter ego brought fear and trembling; her virtue is serenity. Twilight's virtue is harmony and if I have to substantiate to you, reader, I dunno what you're doing in Ponythread.

How well does each princess embody her virtue? This question asks how they live their lives. Do they strive to live according to their virtue, do they succeed, and if they do succeed, to what extent? There's an imbalance of material here to work with. Twilight has an embarrassment of riches to show how she lives her life, while the other princesses get a few episodes at most. This is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, we see Twilight stumble often in her daily life; on the other, we can be sure that she always tries to live up to her principles of friendship (I am obligated by the fact of making this post on this of all messageboards to remind readers that trying is important) and continuously improves in that regard. Celestia has had to make any number of practical compromises of clarity in her own life. She has to hide the truth of the world and of herself from her subjects and courtiers quite a lot of the time to put them at ease and maintain their peace of mind, and it wears on her. Likewise, Luna's inner life is turbulent and troubled, hardly serene at all. Ironically, the sisters live each others' virtues. Celestia maintains her unflappable image and practices restraint, while Luna speaks bluntly and to the point about things. This serves them poorly when they're forced to actually take on each other's roles. Of all the princesses, Cadance seems to most live her virtue. She cultivates intimacy in her relationships, she's open-hearted, generous, and protective. The worst I can say about her in this regard is that she seems to hold herself aloof from "the little people" among her subjects, including her staff, and has been somewhat distant even to Spike and to Twilight's friends. But there's not really enough material to say. Cadance and Twilight also make things a little bit easy in that they get plot power-ups at the points they most succeed in embodying their virtues. Cadance gets two while Twilight gets many, but Cadance has had much less screen time overall. Point is, Celestia and Luna get none.

Therefore, for embodiment I'd say Cadance > Twilight > Celestia > Luna.

How well does each princess promote her virtue? Each has appropriate magical tools: the Cutie Map and Elements of Harmony to spread *ahem* harmony, the Crystal Heart and love magic to spread amity, the Moon and dreamwalking to spread serenity, and the sun and prophecy to spread clarity. In addition, Celestia has a kingdom-level infrastructure to support her virtue, and has mostly created it to her own specifications (I won't say by her own hooves - other ponies were surely involved over the centuries). She has her school to promote knowledge, and Shadow Play attests to the degree to which her rule has enlightened the dark places. Twilight has also embarked on this path of creating institutions to promote her virtue, but is also not afraid to intervene personally and proactively much more often than Celestia seems to (though this could be a function of how little we see of Celestia - she did handle that one "infestation" in Fillydelphia and was proactive enough to intervene in Lesson Zero). Luna is very focused on getting her hands dirty, to the point where she does all her promotion herself through her dreamwalking. Personal attention is commendable enough, but we've seen that it exhausts her. What's more, she can't possibly cover everyone's needs comprehensively. Cadance's presentation in this regard is. . . weird. She stated in Three's a Crowd to be looking for excitement, which suggests thrill-seeking, but when presented with the opportunity to follow Pinkie into the dangerous mountains in Party Pooped, she doesn't take it. She may be the most effective protector of all the princesses, able to project a city-shield (a feat only Shining Armor has equaled) and taking the most proactive stance against Tempest. That said, for all the fanfare about why protecting the Crystal Empire is important (besides the Crystal Ponies being worthy in and of themselves), Equestria's overall mood doesn't seem to have brightened much since its return. The healing of the Tree of Harmony had a bigger impact on the world, by pacifying the Everfree Forest.

Therefore for promotion, I'd say Celestia > Twilight > Luna > Cadance

How far apart are the princesses within each factor, and which factor weighs more heavily? I suspect you can quantify these things, but I'm less able to do so than an arbitrarily high number of AOTRS personnel who don't tire and have IQs that dwarf mine, and honestly I don't really want to try. I will note that there seems to be a great discrepancy between the chesed in which Cadance lives and the chesed she inspires in others, that Luna is both not very true to herself and not as effective as she could be, and that while Twilight excels in neither aspect she is competent at both. Best Princess under these factors is probably a tossup between Twilight and Celestia (who is a stellar evangelist), with Cadance in third and Luna bringing up the rear.

Setting aside Flurry, of course. Including her wouldn't be fair. Flurry, Flurry uber alles.

* Here insert different Greek terms for love as appropriate.
** Etymologically it is connected to the Latin for friendship, which is itself derived from the Latin for love. This is why Greek is a better language. Pegasi in the audience may taunt unicorns for the next five seconds.

[zimmerwald1915]

That's good, but does any other one have their own nickname besides luna?

Cadance is itself a nickname and Twilight has been called by any number of nicknames onscreen

Neither Celestia nor Luna is ever called by a nickname onscreen to my knowledge, but do call each other "Celie" and "Lulu" in the Journal of the Two Sisters.

Woona is purely a fan name, and is thus not worthy of regard because **** fans. Same goes for all the -butt nicknames.

[Forum Explorer]

Cadance is itself a nickname and Twilight has been called by any number of nicknames onscreen

Neither Celestia nor Luna is ever called by a nickname onscreen to my knowledge, but do call each other "Celie" and "Lulu" in the Journal of the Two Sisters.

Woona is purely a fan name, and is thus not worthy of regard because **** fans. Same goes for all the -butt nicknames.

How about Purple Smart? I think that was taken from a weird box cover or was it one of those weird translated comics?

[zimmerwald1915]

How about Purple Smart? I think that was taken from a weird box cover or was it one of those weird translated comics?

Weird translations don't count.

[Forum Explorer]

Weird translations don't count.

Oh come on, weird translations are best things to come out of this fandom. Like this glorious number.

Spoiler: Applejack is here too

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