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  1. - Top - End - #1
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Crisis21's Avatar

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    Default The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    The rules are simple. You respond to the Wish of the post above you as if you are a genie that is a little hard of hearing before making your own Wish for the next person to hilariously misinterpret. Please, no legal documents masquerading as Wishes. Please.


    Poster 1: I Wish for a mountain of food!

    Poster 2: Eh? A fountain of blood? Do you get vampire tourists here or something? Oh well, whatever. Granted.



    I'll start things off.


    I Wish for food and water to feed the town with this winter!
    Last edited by Crisis21; 2018-04-14 at 11:16 PM.
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  2. - Top - End - #2
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    LeMooseImperium's Avatar

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    You wish for ooze and butter to feed upon the town this winter? If you insist...


    I wish for a Candle of Invocation, a permanent +1 Charisma bonus, and 25,000 gp.
    Welcome to more wonderful tomfoolery, scandal, adventure, and murdering of horrible, horrible frogs!

    Always take ranks in profession (dungeon inspector)

    Amazing avatar by the magnificent Linkele

    GNU Terry Pratchett

    "Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day.
    Teach a man to fish, he'll eat for a lifetime.
    Teach him to steal, and he won't have to eat fish for the rest of his life."


  3. - Top - End - #3
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    You get a handle of convocation. Fortunately, all the people you summoned with it are quite comfortable in their 25,000 tepees. What's not so fun is that you are now permanently infected with +1 Chlamydia.

    I wish I had a flying car.
    LGBTitp
    Genderfluid AMAB, hence the gender symbol. I switch as it suits me.

  4. - Top - End - #4
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    LeMooseImperium's Avatar

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    You wish you had an iron bar? Well, here it is.

    I wish I had three more wishes.
    Welcome to more wonderful tomfoolery, scandal, adventure, and murdering of horrible, horrible frogs!

    Always take ranks in profession (dungeon inspector)

    Amazing avatar by the magnificent Linkele

    GNU Terry Pratchett

    "Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day.
    Teach a man to fish, he'll eat for a lifetime.
    Teach him to steal, and he won't have to eat fish for the rest of his life."


  5. - Top - End - #5
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Crisis21's Avatar

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    You wish you could see more fishes? Sure, why not?


    I wish for a million gold pieces!
    Wind & Sound Elemental Eric Greenhilt avatar by Akrim.elf
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  6. - Top - End - #6
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    DruidGuy

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    I donít know why you want a billion old nieces but here you go.

    I wish for eternal youth.
    Quote Originally Posted by RadarMonkey1 View Post
    I suddenly feel that my character is not as optimized as it could be...

    Oh well, it should still be fun.

  7. - Top - End - #7
    Ogre in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    An Infernal Tooth? I'm not so sure, but you do you...

    I wish for a bag full of squirrels!
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    Going to see how well I am at making homebrew.
    Quote Originally Posted by Venger View Post
    killing and eating a bag of rats is probably kosher.
    Gosh 2D8HP, you are so very correct (and also good looking), and your humility is stunning

    "I hope that you don't get the impression that I would munchkin the rules if I was in a D&D world IRL... Even though I totally would" -Myself

  8. - Top - End - #8
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    Ok, one keg full of turtles coming right up!

    I wish for a better, less stressful job than the one I have.
    LGBTitp
    Genderfluid AMAB, hence the gender symbol. I switch as it suits me.

  9. - Top - End - #9
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Crisis21's Avatar

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    Okay, one butterless stressful job coming up! Gotta say, never met someone who likes stress and hates butter before.


    I wish for chocolate chip cookies.
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  10. - Top - End - #10
    Troll in the Playground
     
    PirateCaptain

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    Who wishes to be "choked with cheap khakis"? Sure, granted.

    I wish to be faster than the speed of light

  11. - Top - End - #11
    Troll in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    I thought it was weird, but the more I think of it, the more awesome it sounds. Imagine soaring through town, supported and protected by a flock of flapping swimsuits. It's not neck-breakingly fast, but a superpower is a superpower. Your swarm of nylon-composite minions is more than enough for your local crimefighting scene and the costume is sexy to boot. Henceforth, ben-zayb, you shall be known... as Master of the Speedo Flight!

    I wish for a new pair of shoes.
    Leo, Minnie, Ajax, Timmy.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  12. - Top - End - #12
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Crisis21's Avatar

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    A blue pair of dudes? Is this some sort of rock group? Oh, whatever, granted.



    I wish for a hot date.
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  13. - Top - End - #13
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    POW!

    ...well don't blame me! Your the one who said "I wish to be hit, mate!"

    I wish to be the Supreme Ruler of the Universe!
    LGBTitp
    Genderfluid AMAB, hence the gender symbol. I switch as it suits me.

  14. - Top - End - #14
    Troll in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    Suri, Rumormonger in Verse 1G
    Legendary Creature - Human Druid MR
    Whene'er a player would draw a card,
    they may instead reveal their hand,
    put each noncreature spell in their graveyard,
    then search and draw a basic land.
    ...then shuffle their library.
    2/2

    I wish for a teleporter.
    Leo, Minnie, Ajax, Timmy.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  15. - Top - End - #15
    Troll in the Playground
     
    PirateCaptain

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    Network got some budget cuts, huh? I like that you're just being reasonable and practical with this teleprompter wish. Granted, mate!

  16. - Top - End - #16
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    What's that? You wish to telefrag with a slanted grate? Well, okay...


    Okay, hold on, let me do this in my best Jafar voice...


    I wish to be the most powerful Sorcerer... IN THE WORLD!
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  17. - Top - End - #17
    Troll in the Playground
     
    MonkGuy

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    Eh? Wazzat ya say? You want to see the most powdered saucer in the world?
    *summons a saucer, empties an entire bag of talcum powder onto it*

    Yer an odd little duck, aintcha?

    I wish these young whippersnappers would stop wastin' my time makin' such silly wishes! Why back in my day, we had to walk ten miles through the snow just to get ONE wish granted, and we liked it!
    Last edited by inexorabletruth; 2018-03-10 at 08:36 AM.
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  18. - Top - End - #18
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    bc56's Avatar

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    Eh? You wish that the grung-roper-trappers would stop pasting your lime while back in Mydae (what is that, some town?) you had two walking meals through the show just to get to PUN a wish, and you biked it?

    I'm not even sure what it means, but your lime will never be pasted again. *All of your limes spontaneously combust*
    Awesome avatar (Kothar, paladin of Tlacua) by Linkele!

    I do not "ninja."
    I pirate.
    Yarr!

    Quote Originally Posted by William Shakespeare, King Lear, IV.i.46
    'Tis the time's plague, when madmen lead the blind.
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  19. - Top - End - #19
    Troll in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    Zuwha? Oh! Yeah, okay, granted. You're an 8/10. Though let it be known that I don't personally support that demeaning attractiveness-rating convention.

    I wish for a steady supply of fat-free swiss cake rolls.
    Leo, Minnie, Ajax, Timmy.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  20. - Top - End - #20
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    Er... okay, granted. Just please don't tell me why the rats, or you for that matter, want piss cake rolls.


    I wish for some brain bleach to scrub away that mental image.
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  21. - Top - End - #21
    Troll in the Playground
     
    MonkGuy

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    Mwahahahaha! I'll gladly drain the beaches so you'll never have to run away from metal mages again! Mages should listen to symphonic music anyway! Who do they think they are? Barbarians?

    *Wish granted. Beaches drained. Whole world dies because no more water*

    Uh. Woops. I wish I hadn't done that. Seems a bit of an extreme measures to get rid of metal mages.
    PbP Junk and Stuff:
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  22. - Top - End - #22
    Troll in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    Sure, easy. One dun hat, coming right up! Per your specifications, it's seen a bit of extreme weather and has no sharp metal ridges. It's just an old beige winter cap.

    I still wish we had some water though.
    Leo, Minnie, Ajax, Timmy.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  23. - Top - End - #23
    Ogre in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    You wish you were a hatter? Granted!

    I wish I knew what was going on with all these strange wishes.
    Awesome avatar (Kothar, paladin of Tlacua) by Linkele!

    I do not "ninja."
    I pirate.
    Yarr!

    Quote Originally Posted by William Shakespeare, King Lear, IV.i.46
    'Tis the time's plague, when madmen lead the blind.
    My Nexus characters

  24. - Top - End - #24
    Troll in the Playground
     
    MonkGuy

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    *A cozy chair, fireplace, glass of port and a genie with a robe and ascot appears in the chair, while holding a book of lore on withcraft*

    You wish to know what is going on with all these trained witches? Very well, wish granted.

    Of course, the method for training varies from culture to culture, but recent studies did show an increased interest in witchcraft tends to follow a swell of fantasy entertainment in popular culture. Perhaps, they were all waiting for their letter to Hogwarts? It's difficult to say, but I'd go if I got my letter.

    *swishes my glass of port and takes a sip*

    I wish I had some cheese and prosciutto to go with this delicious port.
    PbP Junk and Stuff:
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    I am not interested in DM'ing any extra games at the moment.

    My PbP color is dark red.
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  25. - Top - End - #25
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    I have heard of some strange things to go with port over the ages, but bees and prosthetics? Oh well, to each their own. Granted.


    Man, I'm thirsty. Wish I had something to drink.
    Wind & Sound Elemental Eric Greenhilt avatar by Akrim.elf
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  26. - Top - End - #26
    Ogre in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    Dumb thing to wink? You have an odd taste, but I guess you're suitable *TPAM winks*

    I wish for people to stop winking!
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    Going to see how well I am at making homebrew.
    Quote Originally Posted by Venger View Post
    killing and eating a bag of rats is probably kosher.
    Gosh 2D8HP, you are so very correct (and also good looking), and your humility is stunning

    "I hope that you don't get the impression that I would munchkin the rules if I was in a D&D world IRL... Even though I totally would" -Myself

  27. - Top - End - #27
    Troll in the Playground
     
    PirateCaptain

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    You wish for evil bus stop jinxing? Okay, that's mean, but everyone arrives at bus stops just a little too late to board.


    Since I actually wasn't able to wish the last time I posted here, I wish to have two more wishes!

  28. - Top - End - #28
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    Poof! You now have to make more wishes. I don't understand why you needed compulsion to do so.

    I wish for peace in Syria.
    The gnomes once had many mines, but now they have gnome ore.

  29. - Top - End - #29
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    bc56's Avatar

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    Aww man, I don't want to corrupt that! It's a good wish!

    Alright, here's your pizza diptheria. Don't know what that's for, don't want to know either.

    I wish for my hearing to get better.
    Awesome avatar (Kothar, paladin of Tlacua) by Linkele!

    I do not "ninja."
    I pirate.
    Yarr!

    Quote Originally Posted by William Shakespeare, King Lear, IV.i.46
    'Tis the time's plague, when madmen lead the blind.
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  30. - Top - End - #30
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Crisis21's Avatar

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    One pair of redder earrings coming up!


    I wish I could do the hula.
    Wind & Sound Elemental Eric Greenhilt avatar by Akrim.elf
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