The Order of the Stick: Utterly Dwarfed
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  1. - Top - End - #31
    Troll in the Playground
     
    MonkGuy

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    You wish you could boo cthulhu? But you could do that without a wish. Maybe you want to be able to do it and live to tell the tale? Very well, wish granted.

    *Cthulhu hears your taunts and sheds a single edritch tear.*

    "... I'm doin' my best" Cthulhu mutters mournfully to himself.

    Well that was awkward. I wish I hadn't seen that.
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  2. - Top - End - #32
    Troll in the Playground
     
    PirateCaptain

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    Are you trying to organize some sort of crime syndicate? What's up with wanting a hardened street rat?

    I wish for zero crime rate

  3. - Top - End - #33
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    Oh heck yeah! In this issue, Master of the Speedo Flight discovers that they also have the mysterious ability to foresee a crime wave. That's awesome! You're awesome.

    I wish for a lifetime comic book subscription.
    Leo, Ajax, Deshy, Cutty.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  4. - Top - End - #34
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    RedKnightGirl

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    You want an achromic crook that's Egyptian? Um... I won't ask.

    I wish to have a month-long break from stress.

  5. - Top - End - #35
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Crisis21's Avatar

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    No bliss for a month. Got it. ...weirdo.


    I wish to be stronger.


    @VV: Huh. It's head-tiltingly good and, yes, far far better than the squick that is 2g1c.
    Last edited by Crisis21; 2018-03-15 at 10:43 AM.
    Wind & Sound Elemental Eric Greenhilt avatar by Akrim.elf
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  6. - Top - End - #36
    Troll in the Playground
     
    MonkGuy

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    A tongue-long break in your dress? Seems like a waste of a wish to me.

    *Measures my tongue, the carefully grabs the hem of your dress.*
    ...
    RIIIP

    I guess that's the "in style" the "cool kids" are wearing lately? Pish.

    I wish for no more allergy seasons. Ever again.
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  7. - Top - End - #37
    Troll in the Playground
     
    PirateCaptain

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    Crisis21 You want, "2 beast, 1 girl"? Alright, not gonna judge your journey. Besides, I can't imagine it being worse than "2 girls, 1 cup".

    inexorabletruth Homer's eulogy for Simpsons? I can see that kind of metahumor before they finally end the show. Tearfully granted!

    I wish each person can imagine and describe a unique color.

  8. - Top - End - #38
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Kneenibble's Avatar

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    Jesus, man. Each person has a vivid imagining of a unique version of cholera. As if the original weren't bad enough. The synaesthesiacs shall suffer it the worst, I should think.


    I wish for a pedal harpsichord.

  9. - Top - End - #39
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Crisis21's Avatar

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    Okay, look, I'm really sorry about the first attempt there, but at least you managed to call the police before the harpsichord traumatized that poor kid any further. Since that's my bad, I'll throw in a second harpsichord pedal and the bicycle to boot. Not sure why you want the bike pedals to be functioning harpsichords, but there you go.


    I wish for better hearing.
    Wind & Sound Elemental Eric Greenhilt avatar by Akrim.elf
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  10. - Top - End - #40
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Pex's Avatar

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    Here are your butter earrings.

    I wish to know the meaning of life.
    Quote Originally Posted by OgresAreCute View Post
    "Welcome to Dungeons and Dragons fifth edition, where the DCs are made up and the rules don't matter."

  11. - Top - End - #41
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    bc56's Avatar

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    You wish for a mean ninja wife? Sure, why not.

    I wish for a ninja wife who's not mean.
    Awesome avatar (Kothar, paladin of Tlacua) by Linkele!

    Quote Originally Posted by William Shakespeare, King Lear, IV.i.46
    'Tis the time's plague, when madmen lead the blind.
    My Nexus characters

  12. - Top - End - #42
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    MindFlayer

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    Quote Originally Posted by bc56 View Post
    You wish for a mean ninja wife? Sure, why not.

    I wish for a ninja wife who's not mean.

    Here's your ninja knife.

    I wish for a xylophone.

  13. - Top - End - #43
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Crisis21's Avatar

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    A mile of phones? Okay, sure. I have no idea what you're going to do with them...


    I wish for a personal chef.
    Wind & Sound Elemental Eric Greenhilt avatar by Akrim.elf
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  14. - Top - End - #44
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    Granted! You can't go wrong with the simple wishes, you know? I'll install the shelf anywhere you want in your house and set your new purse right on it.

    I wish for a 200-foot weightless extension cord.
    Leo, Ajax, Deshy, Cutty.
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  15. - Top - End - #45
    Troll in the Playground
     
    PirateCaptain

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    A two-handed fullblade LASER henshin sword? You're lucky I'm not one of those "your cyber ninjas don't belong in my medieval fantasy" guys, so enjoy your weapon of choice!

    I wish for a lifetime supply of mac and cheese

  16. - Top - End - #46
    Troll in the Playground
     
    MonkGuy

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    *grizzled old genie appears*
    You wish the wife to slap at gnats 'n fleas? Good idea. Bug zappers 'r expensive these days, what with the economy 'n all.

    POOF! You now have a strapping wife with good slapping arms who has a blood oath vengeance against gnats and fleas.

    I wish I had an old rickety swinging bench, a stick, and a pocket knife (for whittling) to complete this curmudgeonly old codger trope.
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  17. - Top - End - #47
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Lvl 2 Expert's Avatar

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    Quote Originally Posted by inexorabletruth View Post
    I wish I had an old rickety swinging bench, a stick, and a pocket knife (for whittling) to complete this curmudgeonly old codger trope.
    You wish for an old rickety swinging ranch, ass stick, and a rocket wife soar whistling to come seed the curmudgeonly old codger's "trope"? Who names that thing trope? And why do I always get the kinky wishes?

    I wish for more genies, and better ones.
    The ultimate OOTS cookie cutter nameless soldier is the hobgoblin.

  18. - Top - End - #48
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    Granted! A word of warning, though, it'll be completely random how many of the extra chromosomes your kids will inherit.

    I wish for a box of hearing aids.
    The gnomes once had many mines, but now they have gnome ore.

  19. - Top - End - #49
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Crisis21's Avatar

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    Granted! I do hope you enjoy being cheered on by so many lovely maids. I know I would.


    I wish I had my own cheerleader squad...
    Wind & Sound Elemental Eric Greenhilt avatar by Akrim.elf
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  20. - Top - End - #50
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Kneenibble's Avatar

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    A cheerleader squid? Sure man, I don't judge people's fetishes, it's just different. I -- ah. Oh. She got straight to work on ya there. Wow.


    I wish for a crème brûlée.

  21. - Top - End - #51
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    Planetar

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    You wish for a creamy brawl? Is that like mud wrestling? I dunno. Wish granted.

    I wish for world peace.

  22. - Top - End - #52
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    bc56's Avatar

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    Here's your word piece. Why don't you want a whole word?
    *Hands you a placard with "ambid" scrawled on it in crayon*

    I wish to be a genie
    Awesome avatar (Kothar, paladin of Tlacua) by Linkele!

    Quote Originally Posted by William Shakespeare, King Lear, IV.i.46
    'Tis the time's plague, when madmen lead the blind.
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  23. - Top - End - #53
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Crisis21's Avatar

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    Roddenberry, Siskel, Hackman, Fullmer, or Simmons?


    I wish... I wish... I wish I was a fish!
    Wind & Sound Elemental Eric Greenhilt avatar by Akrim.elf
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  24. - Top - End - #54
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    Yeah, yeah, I heard ya the first time, now quit squirmin'.

    *proceeds to throw Crisis21 into the abyss*

    *ironically, there's water at the bottom*

    I wish I could do a better Slappy Squirrel impression.
    Leo, Ajax, Deshy, Cutty.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  25. - Top - End - #55
    Troll in the Playground
     
    PirateCaptain

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    A better sappy sequel direction... Uhm, I'd be honest with you. The bar's not that high and I think you would do fine without expending a wish, but granted anyway.

    I wish that you will mot grant my wish.

  26. - Top - End - #56
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    OrcBarbarianGuy

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    I don't know why Grant the fish needs an MOT, but sure.

    I wish for infinite genies.

  27. - Top - End - #57
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Pex's Avatar

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    Four imps in jeans coming up.

    I wish to own a house.
    Quote Originally Posted by OgresAreCute View Post
    "Welcome to Dungeons and Dragons fifth edition, where the DCs are made up and the rules don't matter."

  28. - Top - End - #58
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    You wish Touhou was what? Out? Okay, okay, I just have to look up a few things... mess with the timeline a little... and... got it! One Steam release, and a community-generated translation patch. Wish: Granted.

    I wish I had the time and energy to design something decent with RPG maker.
    Leo, Ajax, Deshy, Cutty.
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  29. - Top - End - #59
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Anonymouswizard's Avatar

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    You want rhyme and synergy with your de cent RPG flaker? I suppose shortcutting rap practice is one of the better wishes around here.

    I wish for a gin and tonic.
    Snazzy avatar (now back! ) by Honest Tiefling.

    RIP Laser-Snail, may you live on in our hearts forever.

    Spoiler: playground quotes
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

  30. - Top - End - #60
    Troll in the Playground
     
    MonkGuy

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    Default Re: The Genie is Hard of Hearing.

    I'm confused. You want a genin on it? A genin on what? You mean like Naruto's "it" he insists everyone should believe in? Your wish... yadda yadda.

    *Summons "it" then has an overconfident low level ninja stand on it proudly.*

    Datebayo! That was a weird wish. But I can do weirder!

    I wish for four swishy witches, stitching itchy britches to floppy flitches in ditches.
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