How to Kill a Wizard

[A Fat Dragon]

So, I have a Wizard character, who I like very much, however, I do not like the wizard class as a whole. As a result of “rational” thinking, I’ve deduced that the only way to solve this problem is to kill the Wizard, in the most outlandish, and ridiculous way possible. (Do not question my judgement)

Me being me, my first thought is to True Polymorph him into an Adult Dragon, and then just play him as such until the DM decides I should play a different character, or the DM/Party kills him. However, the third outcome is that nobody will care, and I’ll just have a Dragon PC. Either of those works for me, so I’m pretty content.

That being said, there is bound to be some sort of thing that I’m missing, I’m just not sure what. Also, I’m curious as to other ideas on how to send my wizard out with a bang. I’m open to ideas, serious, funny, crazy, simple, immoral, evil, anything really.

Just kind of curious as to how crazy this forum can be when it comes to making dramatic (or, uneventful. I like being uneventful) deaths of characters.

[Angelalex242]

He fails a con save against Power Word Kill when he has less than 100 hit points.

An enemy Paladin just hacks him down with nova smite damage.

An enemy rogue sneak attacks him into oblivion.

An enemy dragon eats him.

He becomes a lich. (This does technically kill him.)

[Xihirli]

He doesn't even get a con save with Power Word Kill. He just dies.

If your DM is throwing appropriately difficult encounters at you, you can make yourself very vulnerable by nova-ing the first ones and having very few spell slots left in the later ones.
If you're an Evoker you can just use way too much Overchannel.

[zinycor]

What's your level? your specialization? what are your signature spells?

[A Fat Dragon]

War Magic, lvl 15...

Coincidentally, I have built a very large amount of AC for some reason.

I also do have the ability to become a Lich (Tome of the Stilled Tongue).

Signature spells are Misty Step, and Identify.

[Joe dirt]

Is he evil? If so a cool way to retire him would be in persuit of becoming a lich... the process is very dangerous even for a powerful mage.... even if he succeed the party would be obligated to kill him

[Dualswinger]

WISH for Phenomenal Cosmic Power.

Wait until another caster uses Imprisonment and traps you in Itty Bitty Living Space

[StorytellerHero]

Tenser's Transformation, then go out in a bloody blaze of glory.

[MadBear]

I mean, if you just wanna go crazy. Have him decide he should be a god, have him planeshift to the plane of a God whose portfolio he wants, and have him assault that God. I mean, he'll get absolutely trashed, but he'd be literally Leroy Jenkin'ing a God, so there's that (bonus points if you can get the party on board, and then make this happen when they think you're still planning it out).

[zinycor]

Who is the main antgonist?

Because here is what I would do, I would talk to the players, and say to them: Hey guys! I want my character to die, but I would love it to be super-extra-mega-awesome, so, Could each of you create a lvl 15 character to come with me in a Suicide mission into the territories of [INSERT MAIN BAD GUY'S NAME].

What do you think?

[Lord8Ball]

How to get rid of your character in a non-suicidal way and play them at some point in the future.

Step 1. Modify memory: Create a variation to have programmed amnesia to gain information of past life when certain conditions are met.
Step 2. Find a wealthy family that has a woman that is currently in labor.
Step 3. Glyph of warding on the wall with time stop waiting to be triggered on command
Step 4. Modify memory mother to believe she had twins.
Step 5. True polymorph self into a baby.
Step 6. Live life without any recollection of previous life probably as a sorcerer or other class. Fluff magic abilities as the programmed amnesia giving knowledge to channel spells in times of need.

Possible character reasoning for doing this:
1. I don't want to give myself to death and wish to learn through multiple lifetimes of experience.
2. I want to get away from my obligations and start off with a clean slate
+ whatever you come up with

[Malifice]

So, I have a Wizard character, who I like very much, however, I do not like the wizard class as a whole. As a result of “rational” thinking, I’ve deduced that the only way to solve this problem is to kill the Wizard, in the most outlandish, and ridiculous way possible. (Do not question my judgement)

Me being me, my first thought is to True Polymorph him into an Adult Dragon, and then just play him as such until the DM decides I should play a different character, or the DM/Party kills him. However, the third outcome is that nobody will care, and I’ll just have a Dragon PC. Either of those works for me, so I’m pretty content.

That being said, there is bound to be some sort of thing that I’m missing, I’m just not sure what. Also, I’m curious as to other ideas on how to send my wizard out with a bang. I’m open to ideas, serious, funny, crazy, simple, immoral, evil, anything really.

Just kind of curious as to how crazy this forum can be when it comes to making dramatic (or, uneventful. I like being uneventful) deaths of characters.

You have true polymorph? Then you also have Wish.

Wanna go out with a bang, but stuck for ideas? Wish for the most ridiculous and outrageous thing you can think of.

Sit back and let the DM figure out what happens.

[Lord8Ball]

You could create a demiplane within a demiplane; as a result, you'd create a hypercube and ascend to the 4th dimension. Btw have you ever thought of space travel? Why not enslave elementals probably in gem form to power your engines and life support and go off on a journey to other planets.

[Snowbluff]

He's level 15? It's totally rational for him to retire from active adventuring, and just pulling feats of magic for adventurers who need it, like scrying, teleports, and simulacra. .-.

[Specter]

Delayed Blast Fireball, swallowed. Go out with a bang, literally.

[Kane0]

You are beyond the petty concerns of a single backwater world. You Planeshift away to some distant place where there exists creatures worthy of your attention.

Either that or your paranoia finally takes hold and you hole yourself away in a foreboding tower, forever locked in isolated study.

Or you could find some way to magically divide by zero, forcing the Weave to erase you as a means of self-preservation.

[Tvtyrant]

Go full Raistlin. Announce to the party you are becoming a Lich as a step to overthrowing the god of X, then the DM can use your former character as a plot device.

Maybe your plan is to release an Elder Evil or Primordial to bind as a weapon against that god. Or he wants to timmy travel to before the god became deific.

[sir_argo]

Purposely word a wish incorrectly.

"I wish I was nothing but the most powerful wizard in the world"

Except that you get a tickle in your throat and all you get out is...

"I wish I was nothing <cough>..."


Alternately... wish to be a new character. Whatever character you have ready to take your wizard's place, just wish to be him. The nice thing about this wish is that you keep all your memories and the relationships you've formed with the current adventuring party.

[Joe dirt]

Find a deck of many things.... draw 3/4 of the deck

[DarkKnightJin]

Purposely word a wish incorrectly.

"I wish I was nothing but the most powerful wizard in the world"

Except that you get a tickle in your throat and all you get out is...

"I wish I was nothing <cough>..."


Alternately... wish to be a new character. Whatever character you have ready to take your wizard's place, just wish to be him. The nice thing about this wish is that you keep all your memories and the relationships you've formed with the current adventuring party.

That second one is probably the 'easiest' way to handwave the Wizard suddenly being something else.

"I Wish that I'd spend my life pursuing [X class'] path, instead of that of the Wizard!"

Never you mind that you wouldn't have been able to cast that Wish if you pick a non-casting class.

I'd probably go for a Paladin or Cleric myself, but that's just loving those classes a ton.

[Umbranar]

Magic jar an enemy, hide your body somewhere "safe" more than 100 feet away from you, wait until you get dispelled or the container destroyed or you walk into an anti-magic field or the stolen body dies. Congratulations, your dead.

[Vingelot]

The Wizardly Way to Go Out™: Dabble in things you don't understand, then preferably summon them and attempt to control them (if you tried to bargain with them, that would shamefully make you a Warlock, gods forbid).

Additional suggestion if you want to go out with a bang: Work with your DM to one-time modify Meteor Swarm into a version where overlapping damage stacks, but all four explosions are centered on you. (You could call the new spell Nova). Then go to the Big Bad's lair and off [the two of] you go.

edit: spelling, and additional suggestion

[Spacehamster]

He steps on a LEGO brick while barefooted and falls into an active volcano.

[A Fat Dragon]

I think stepping on a lego brick is enough to kill anybody no matter what.

[Lord8Ball]

Try to access the source of magic, the "mind of God", the Akashic records(probably in the astral). Touching it will absorb your soul and entire existence into it as your very being is recycled;as a result, you are gone and the energy of the swirl of the root shall create a new soul for the cycle of reincarnation.

[KorvinStarmast]

How to kill a wizard.

Cleric Casts Hold Person
Wiz fails save
Barbarian and Paladin make utter hash out of wizard.
Add in a rogue for complete chutney.

Alternate solution:
Someone casts feeblemind.
Wizard fails save.
Kill helpless wizard by throwing wizard off of a very high cliff.

Last Choice:
Intellect Devourer.

[xroads]

So, I have a Wizard character, who I like very much, however, I do not like the wizard class as a whole. As a result of “rational” thinking, I’ve deduced that the only way to solve this problem is to kill the Wizard, in the most outlandish, and ridiculous way possible. (Do not question my judgement)

I'm certainly not questioning your judgement. I'm actually contemplating getting my cleric killed so I can try something new.

[Arenabait]

True Polymorph into a Dragon, then become a lich. Bathe in sick Dracolich-ness.

[ruy343]

Spend all your gold to learn a bunch of "useless" spells, then go on a full day of adventuring. When your party realizes that all you can do is cast cantrips, they might just kill you themselves.

[History_buff]

Intellect devourer would be next to useless against an INT 20 wizard. When they devour intellect it’s a DC of 12. Less than a quarter chance to fail for a level 9 wizard. Then the devourer rolls 3d6 and if the result equals or exceeds the targets INT score then INT becomes 0 and stunned until INT is regained.

The devourer cannot possibly hit 20 because they only get 3d6. (Unless it’s a souped up devourer or something)