The Order of the Stick: Utterly Dwarfed
The Order of the Stick: Utterly Dwarfed - Coming in December and available for pre-order now
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  1. - Top - End - #511
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

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    Jul 2008

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    You draft a script and name the show, "Cast Away." You try to recruit Tom Hanks for the lead role. He laughs at you and explains that Robert Zemeckis and William Broyles Junior have beaten you to the punch by almost two decades, and that their version had the distinction of actually being good.

    I wish all this pizza and soda were more nutritious and less diabetes-inducing.
    Leo, Ajax, Deshy, Cutty, Erica.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  2. - Top - End - #512
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Aug 2018

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    Quote Originally Posted by Dr.Gunsforhands View Post
    I wish all this pizza and soda were more nutritious and less diabetes-inducing.
    Pizza and soda are now the most nutritious things in the world which would be good except the CEOs of every soda and pizza corporation are pure evil. With this revelation they see their sales profit and with the extra money take over the world and issue in an age of darkness.

    I wish to be the mascot of one of these pizza or soda corporations so I can maybe inch my way up the caste system in this dystopian society.

  3. - Top - End - #513
    Dwarf in the Playground
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    Nov 2009

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    You get into this role hoping to make some DOUGH, but the more you HAM up your role, the more you tend to CHEESE people off. In one SAUCY exchange, you manage to make yourself into a laughing stock. You are SODA-ne with this whole experience.

    I wish for coconuts to be a viable choice of pizza topping.

  4. - Top - End - #514
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Aug 2018

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    Quote Originally Posted by Gravitron5000 View Post
    I wish for coconuts to be a viable choice of pizza topping.
    This is no easy task. Your movement first starts out as what can be classified as a cult. It slowly grows in numbers. The lords of House Pepperoni and House Mushroom fear a coconut rebellion. They call upon their banners and march towards war. You, Gavitron3000 are killed in the first battle, but you are viewed as a martyr and the Coconut Rebellion Faction grows. It takes several years, countless battles, and the death of millions but your forces finally get the other topping houses to acknowledge the legitimacy of coconuts.

    I wish to kill the lords of House Pepperoni until it is I who sits upon the Pork Throne.

  5. - Top - End - #515
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    Your mass-assassination-turned-usurpation goes without a hitch, and you now reign supreme. However, you soon become an even greater paranoiac than Macbeth, seeing plots and enemies lurking behind every bow and word of flattery and show of loyalty/homage. Eventually, you're also an insomniac, afraid to go to sleep lest one of your nonexistent enemies kill you while you're in a vulnerable position.

    In short, you never know a moment's peace, in your fear of facing the same fate that you dealt to your predecessors.

    I wish to peaceably restore the old order that was so chaotically destroyed by the assassination/usurpation--and without being more than the silent partner in historical records of said restoration, going out of my way to avoid any and all notoriety or repercussions (I'm a quiet person who doesn't like attention).
    Last edited by CyberiadQueen; 2019-09-12 at 09:59 PM.
    Love is the ultimate trip. --Micky Dolenz

    Rest in Peace, Peter Tork
    February 13, 1942-February 21, 2019
    Men are Mortal
    Music lives Forever

    #LiberateHongKong

  6. - Top - End - #516
    Dwarf in the Playground
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    Nov 2009

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    Someone had the audacity to commission a plaque in your honour. It's in Absarokee, Montana, so nobody will ever see it, but still, the nerve.

    I wish for my notoriety to be notorious.

  7. - Top - End - #517
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Aug 2018

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    Quote Originally Posted by Gravitron5000 View Post
    I wish for my notoriety to be notorious.
    You get thrown in jail for this.

    I wish for a lot of free doughnuts and pizza but not to gain any weight from eating said doughnuts or pizza.

  8. - Top - End - #518
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

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    Jul 2008

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    They're free because they're moldy and gross. You don't eat any, so you don't gain any weight. You do need to get them out of your house, though.

    I wish to go to Disneyland!
    Leo, Ajax, Deshy, Cutty, Erica.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  9. - Top - End - #519
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    You now live at Disneyland, earning my undying envy, because I want to live there!

    I wish to steal a souped-up pogo stick.
    Love is the ultimate trip. --Micky Dolenz

    Rest in Peace, Peter Tork
    February 13, 1942-February 21, 2019
    Men are Mortal
    Music lives Forever

    #LiberateHongKong

  10. - Top - End - #520
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Aug 2018

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    Quote Originally Posted by CyberiadQueen View Post
    I wish to steal a souped-up pogo stick.
    The pogo stick is actually possessed by a demon and causes you to kill people in your sleep with pogo themed murders.

    I wish to crack this case of pogo themed murders before the mayor decides to ban all pogos.

  11. - Top - End - #521
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    You solve the mystery...by becoming my next victim! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!

    (Three-post limit, blahblahblah; I couldn't resist.)

    I wish to get away with it!
    Love is the ultimate trip. --Micky Dolenz

    Rest in Peace, Peter Tork
    February 13, 1942-February 21, 2019
    Men are Mortal
    Music lives Forever

    #LiberateHongKong

  12. - Top - End - #522
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Aug 2018

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    Quote Originally Posted by CyberiadQueen View Post
    I wish to get away with it!
    Okay. I kill off all the humans except CyberiadQueen. If everyone else is dead you can't get arrested.

    I wish for a super intelligent species of gophers to rise up and arrest CyberiadQueen. Also the gophers think I'm super cool despite the fact I'm dead and write a bunch of best selling fantasy books about me.

  13. - Top - End - #523
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

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    Jul 2008

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    The books feature you as the main villain and CyberiadQueen as a pogo-themed antihero who turns from her life of crime in a bid to stop you. She's arrested, but the charges are ultimately dropped for political reasons.

    I wish for someone to come eat all of these extra donuts.
    Leo, Ajax, Deshy, Cutty, Erica.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  14. - Top - End - #524
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    An Amy's Avatar

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    Feb 2017

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    Galactus arrives and consumes the planet, ensuring those pesky doughnuts and their creator are no more.

    I wish Rich would put out comic tomorrow!

  15. - Top - End - #525
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Imp

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    GRANTED! Richard from LFG puts out an enchanted webcomic that inflicts insanity and madness upon the world. In other words, business as usual.

    I wish for a solution to climate change.
    This is a boring signature.
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES
    EXPLODED RUNES
    PICTURE OF A CAT
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES

  16. - Top - End - #526
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

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    Jul 2008

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    Ooh! I know this one! *covers the planet in mutant algae blooms*

    I wish for some good algae recipes!
    Leo, Ajax, Deshy, Cutty, Erica.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  17. - Top - End - #527
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Aug 2018

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    Quote Originally Posted by Dr.Gunsforhands View Post
    I wish for some good algae recipes!
    Okay. But these aren't good recipes to cook algae. These are good recipes algae use to cook humans. The book is called "To Serve Man," and the algae invite you, Dr.Gunsforhands, over FOR dinner.

    I wish I was in a casino where I always win.

  18. - Top - End - #528
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    An Amy's Avatar

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    Feb 2017

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    You're in a casino. You're winning, always. But it's the same game. The same hand. The same last 30 seconds of your time at the table. It's repeating forever... looping back again and again to that perfect hand where you win over and over and over and over...
    and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over
    I wish this charging cable wasn't so long.

  19. - Top - End - #529
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Aug 2018

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    Quote Originally Posted by An Amy View Post
    I wish this charging cable wasn't so long.
    Okay. I condense it into a singularity that creates a black hole in the entire planet earth and all life on it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Magic_Hat View Post
    Okay. But these aren't good recipes to cook algae. These are good recipes algae use to cook humans. The book is called "To Serve Man," and the algae invite you, Dr.Gunsforhands, over FOR dinner.

    I wish I was in a casino where I always win.
    I wish someone got my Twilight Zone references.

  20. - Top - End - #530
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    Since I very much get (and adore) the references, I turn into Rod Serling. And everyone else turns into characters from the episodes. And life is never the same again; everyone is trapped in this bizarre alternate world...

    "There is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to Man. It is a dimension as vast as space, and as timeless as infinity. It is the middleground between light and shadow, between science and superstition; and it lies between the pit of Man's fears, and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call...the Twilight Zone."

    I wish real life was as interesting as The Twilight Zone.
    Love is the ultimate trip. --Micky Dolenz

    Rest in Peace, Peter Tork
    February 13, 1942-February 21, 2019
    Men are Mortal
    Music lives Forever

    #LiberateHongKong

  21. - Top - End - #531
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

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    Jul 2008

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    Granted! Now check your news feeds. It's all your fault now!

    I wish to absolve our good friend of blame for the world burning and dying at an accelerating rate.
    Leo, Ajax, Deshy, Cutty, Erica.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  22. - Top - End - #532
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Imp

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    Feb 2006
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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    Granted! You're moved into the body of a defenseless human infant.

    I wish this cheeseburger had more hot peppers.
    This is a boring signature.
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES
    EXPLODED RUNES
    PICTURE OF A CAT
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES

  23. - Top - End - #533
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    An Amy's Avatar

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    Feb 2017

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    It is suddenly topped with an over-sized green bell pepper stuffed with boiling salsa.

    I wish I had a pet mink.

  24. - Top - End - #534
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Aug 2018

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    Quote Originally Posted by An Amy View Post
    I wish I had a pet mink.
    Your pet mink is a lazy, rude couch potato who stays up all night watching inappropriate programs and costing you a fortune with your cable and electric bill.

    I wish I could intervene and turn An Amy's pet mink into a contributing member of our society.

  25. - Top - End - #535
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    An Amy's pet mink is now seven billion nice, soft blankets, keeping everybody warm when they're cold. Of course, PETA is going to be on your back for the rest of your life, once they get word of it...

    I wish to rescue Magic_Hat from PETA's wrath.
    Love is the ultimate trip. --Micky Dolenz

    Rest in Peace, Peter Tork
    February 13, 1942-February 21, 2019
    Men are Mortal
    Music lives Forever

    #LiberateHongKong

  26. - Top - End - #536
    Barbarian in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2018

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    Quote Originally Posted by CyberiadQueen View Post
    I wish to rescue Magic_Hat from PETA's wrath.
    I'm rescued, but you get captured in the process.

    I wish Batman and Deadpool would team up to rescue CyberiadQueen.

  27. - Top - End - #537
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    An Amy's Avatar

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    Feb 2017

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    They do so, but somehow that ends up with Warner Brother owning the rights to Deadpool... And they've cast Chris Rock for the new Harley Quinn / Deadpool crossover.

    I wish Disney would just go ahead of buy their studios up.

  28. - Top - End - #538
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Aug 2018

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    Quote Originally Posted by An Amy View Post
    I wish Disney would just go ahead of buy their studios up.
    Up? Pixar made Up, and Disney owns Pixar. So you just wasted a wish.

    I wish Disney would lose all the studios they bought in the last fifteen years.

  29. - Top - End - #539
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

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    Jul 2008

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    They close the studios and keep the copyrights. Disney faces only temporary criticism for the mass layoffs.

    I wish for a good dog!
    Leo, Ajax, Deshy, Cutty, Erica.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  30. - Top - End - #540
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    An Amy's Avatar

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    Feb 2017

    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    Granted! A short time later, Old Yeller appears and saves your life from a rabid wolf but is bit in the process. A rifle also appears in your hands. You know what you have to do. Hurry, before the mouse shows up with a copyright cl---

    **removed**
    ** angered the mouse **

    I wish for my studios back. -Mickey
    Last edited by An Amy; 2019-10-09 at 08:37 PM.

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