The Order of the Stick: Utterly Dwarfed
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  1. - Top - End - #331
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Crisis21's Avatar

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    You have a fantastic new shotgun that only fires 22 7/15 gauge shells, which are made... precisely nowhere ever in the history of time itself.



    I wish to be in Smash Bros.
    Wind & Sound Elemental Eric Greenhilt avatar by Akrim.elf
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  2. - Top - End - #332
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    Oh, you are. You're a perfectly ordinary human in a fight-oriented world with people who carry swords and blasters, know martials arts of all flavors with varying degrees of skills, and boast such anatomical triumphs as wings, razor-sharp teeth and claws, and fire breath. Meanwhile, off-brand clones of your loved ones are also in the roster and will try to murder you at every turn, as will your childhood video game heroes, all while still perfectly cheerful and seeing absolutely nothing wrong with what's going on. Oh, and as per the rules of the game, you can't die; you just disappear until someone picks you on the character select screen (and god help you with the identity crisis that is being picked by more than one player, or being picked as a computer-controlled fighter). Your one saving grace is that, as a perfectly ordinary human, you're kind of trash-tier as far as fighting goes, so nobody will pick you... but that's also its own kind of torture.

    Have fun!

    I wish to rescue Crisis21 from Smash.
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.

    [+]

  3. - Top - End - #333
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Caerulea's Avatar

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    Crisis21 is safely extracted from the game with all 2 remaining limbs and only severe mental scarring. You, however, have taken his place.

    I would like 1000 legal U.S. dollars, printed in 2017, which are still valid tender.
    Non caerulea sum, Caerulea nomen meus est.
    Extended Signature.
    I'm not not a humanoid. Come not not be one too.

  4. - Top - End - #334
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Imp

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    As you wish! Here is a stack of 10, crisp, completely legal $100 bills printed in 2017.

    However, you didn't say anything about them not being ON FIRE. And now you are, too. Ouch.
    I didn't start the fire, either. I just teleported them out of one, so technically I'm not guilty of destroying legal tender.
    I wish somebody had a fire extinguisher handy.
    This is a boring signature.
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES
    EXPLODED RUNES
    PICTURE OF A CAT
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES

  5. - Top - End - #335
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Crisis21's Avatar

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    Quote Originally Posted by Korith View Post
    I wish somebody had a fire extinguisher handy.
    Beating you about the head and shoulders with said fire extinguisher for being a jerk counts as having it handy, right?


    I wish I had a portal to a magical kingdom in my backyard.
    Wind & Sound Elemental Eric Greenhilt avatar by Akrim.elf
    Bodyguard in Lix's Harem
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  6. - Top - End - #336
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Caerulea's Avatar

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    A portal to a magical kingdom appears in your backyard. When you examine it, you find most of the population has died from a highly infectious, horrible magical disease. It quickly spreads throughout earth, and proves itself beyond the means of human medicine to cure.

    I wish there were more non-humanoids.
    Non caerulea sum, Caerulea nomen meus est.
    Extended Signature.
    I'm not not a humanoid. Come not not be one too.

  7. - Top - End - #337
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    Thanks a lot for the plague of locusts, ya jerk.

    I wish for something to stop these locusts.
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.

    [+]

  8. - Top - End - #338
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    How 'bout a plague of frogs?

    I roll to keep the plagues from getting monstrously out of hand.
    Love is the ultimate trip. --Micky Dolenz

    Rest in Peace, Peter Tork
    February 13, 1942-February 21, 2019
    Men are Mortal
    Music lives Forever

    #LiberateHongKong

  9. - Top - End - #339
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    "Critics have called it 'one of the most faithful recreations of the book of Exodus ever'."

    Also, we're all gonna die now. Thanks for that.


    I wish for a sandwich.
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.

    [+]

  10. - Top - End - #340
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    Quote Originally Posted by Ironsmith View Post
    Also, we're all gonna die now. Thanks for that.
    Accidents happen. What can ya do?


    Quote Originally Posted by Ironsmith View Post
    I wish for a sandwich.
    You make a great sandwich. But the locusts get to it before you do. Since you brought the locusts to the party, there's nobody to blame but you.

    I wish to videotape the plagues for posterity.
    Love is the ultimate trip. --Micky Dolenz

    Rest in Peace, Peter Tork
    February 13, 1942-February 21, 2019
    Men are Mortal
    Music lives Forever

    #LiberateHongKong

  11. - Top - End - #341
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    Well, you can videotape it, but good luck doing that "for posterity".

    I wish for posterity.
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.

    [+]

  12. - Top - End - #342
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Caerulea's Avatar

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    All possible future generations are brought to earth right now. The sheer quantity of meat leads to everyone being crushed.

    I wish for a solution.
    Last edited by Caerulea; 2019-03-01 at 06:47 PM.
    Non caerulea sum, Caerulea nomen meus est.
    Extended Signature.
    I'm not not a humanoid. Come not not be one too.

  13. - Top - End - #343
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Imp

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    Here's your salt water! (Don't drink it)

    I wish for a solution to the world being crushed by the overpopulation from two wishes ago.
    This is a boring signature.
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES
    EXPLODED RUNES
    PICTURE OF A CAT
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES

  14. - Top - End - #344
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    Here's your 20% concentration Hydrochloric acid!

    I wish to send 90% of the world population into the future, to a point after the other 10% have died.
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.

    [+]

  15. - Top - End - #345
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Crisis21's Avatar

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    You are one of the 10% left behind. The rest of the 10% contains all the horrendously Evil members of humanity. You know, the kind that would kill you as soon as look at you. And wouldn't you know it, all the policemen, fire fighters, and hospital workers were among the 90% you sent to the future.


    I wish all these people left behind had stronger consciences.
    Wind & Sound Elemental Eric Greenhilt avatar by Akrim.elf
    Bodyguard in Lix's Harem
    Ninja-Pirate of BvS's Privateer village! Come and join me!
    My Extended Signature
    My Pokemon!

  16. - Top - End - #346
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    Now they do. Unfortunately, this comes at the cost of making the rest of humanity from this point onwards a race of total jerks. Well done.

    I wish for the Infinity Gauntlet, as well as all six stones.
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.

    [+]

  17. - Top - End - #347
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Caerulea's Avatar

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    I have helpfully provided you this link, where it is available to purchase for only $14.

    I would like immunity from being hit with snowballs.
    Non caerulea sum, Caerulea nomen meus est.
    Extended Signature.
    I'm not not a humanoid. Come not not be one too.

  18. - Top - End - #348
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    Granted: they turn to napalm before they hit you. Not snowballs anymore! :D

    I wish to rule the world. (Seas will rise when I give the word...)
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.

    [+]

  19. - Top - End - #349
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    Seas will rise, indeed. Unfortunately, you're somewhere below sea level when you pronounce the word in question. When the seawaters drown all of mankind, you are the first to go. Well, that went beautifully, didn't it? Wow, that attempt at world domination went by quickly.

    I wish to become a mermaid, so that I'm not drowned in the risen seas.
    Last edited by CyberiadQueen; 2019-03-03 at 04:53 AM.
    Love is the ultimate trip. --Micky Dolenz

    Rest in Peace, Peter Tork
    February 13, 1942-February 21, 2019
    Men are Mortal
    Music lives Forever

    #LiberateHongKong

  20. - Top - End - #350
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    BardGuy

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    Granted.

    In retrospect, you should have got in the water first, yeah?

    Permanent increase to Charisma, please.

  21. - Top - End - #351
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Crisis21's Avatar

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    Sure thing! I can so a 1-1 swap using any of your other ability scores. It looks like you have some decent Constitution, so I'll just convert it all into more Charisma for you and... oh, right. Zero Constitution means you're dead. Whoops.


    I wish to pilot my very own giant robot.
    Last edited by Crisis21; 2019-03-04 at 10:36 AM.
    Wind & Sound Elemental Eric Greenhilt avatar by Akrim.elf
    Bodyguard in Lix's Harem
    Ninja-Pirate of BvS's Privateer village! Come and join me!
    My Extended Signature
    My Pokemon!

  22. - Top - End - #352
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Imp

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    You get to pilot an EVA unit, but your consciousness ends up being warped by the pilot link.

    I wish for some raspberry pie.
    This is a boring signature.
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES
    EXPLODED RUNES
    PICTURE OF A CAT
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES

  23. - Top - End - #353
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    Here's your custom processor/... that's what you were looking for, right?

    I wish for some random numbers.
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.

    [+]

  24. - Top - End - #354
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Caerulea's Avatar

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    2,0,4,5,9,1,5,7,7,1,8,3,6,1,0,4.
    Random you thought? No! It is the first 16 digits of πe - 2. Hah!

    I wish for a functioning GTX 1080ti.
    Last edited by Caerulea; 2019-03-04 at 03:34 PM.
    Non caerulea sum, Caerulea nomen meus est.
    Extended Signature.
    I'm not not a humanoid. Come not not be one too.

  25. - Top - End - #355
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    Beholder

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    Quote Originally Posted by Caerulea View Post
    2,0,4,5,9,1,5,7,7,1,8,3,6,1,0,4.
    Random you thought? No! It is the first 16 digits of πe - 2. Hah!

    I wish for a functioning GTX 1080ti.
    Wish granted. You receive a brand new computer case with the GTX1080ti taking up all of the space and cannot remove it unless you break it.

    I wish for a rock from the moon.

  26. - Top - End - #356
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Crisis21's Avatar

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    *paints a target around where you're standing* Your moon rock will be here in a few minutes, so don't move.



    I wish to attune to a legendary non-evil magical item.
    Wind & Sound Elemental Eric Greenhilt avatar by Akrim.elf
    Bodyguard in Lix's Harem
    Ninja-Pirate of BvS's Privateer village! Come and join me!
    My Extended Signature
    My Pokemon!

  27. - Top - End - #357
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    Quote Originally Posted by Crisis21 View Post
    I wish to attune to a legendary non-evil magical item.
    You attune to a Magic Hat, but then I sue you for every penny you have for stealing my screen name which also happens to be a copyrighted intellectual property.

    I wish to cause a crisis 21 times. Nothing ironic about that especially considering what I just typed before.

  28. - Top - End - #358
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    You already dodged your own approach to corrupting your wish by exploiting the three-post rule, and dodged most others by setting out to cause the sorts of crises that would normally be inflicted upon you. I'd be offended, but the fact remains that I barely have to do any work here. I can let you cause a string of crises for your friends and neighbors and just sit back as they chew you out, cut off your privileges, and generally ruin your day in retaliation.

    I wish for a well-trained dire bat.
    Leo, Ajax, Deshy, Cutty, Erica.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  29. - Top - End - #359
    Barbarian in the Playground
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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    Quote Originally Posted by Dr.Gunsforhands View Post
    I wish for a well-trained dire bat.
    Okay. It's a baseball bat that is trained to attack you. The beating are quite dire.

    I wish I had elegant elephants with fancy pants.

  30. - Top - End - #360
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

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    Default Re: Corrupt a Wish II

    Six shots of vodka later, you do.

    I wish for a magic wand.
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.

    [+]

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