Order of the Stick: Achievements

[Zyzzyva]

I was playing a game on steam, and got to thinking of what kind of achievements the Order of the Stick video game might have. Thought it would be fun to see what other people come up with.

As with any video game, some of them are straightforward:

Don't bother funding your IRA: Have Haley steal from Belkar 25 times.
Sexy Shoeless God of War: Kill 100 enemies with Belkar at Azure City.
Hey Miron!: Arrive on the Western Continent with 200,000 GP cash.

Some take a little more work:

Roy has boobies!: Kill five opponents with Roy with one great cleave, while wearing the belt of gender changing.
Climbin' a Stairway to Heaven: Have Durkon defeat five trees in single combat.
Ultimate cosmic power: Fill all of V's equipment slots with doilies.
I spent it all on arrows!: Arrive on the Western Continent with 200,000 GP worth of arrows.

And, just to frustrate people, some of them involve breaking the game sequence in half:

A vacancy in our dual-wielding murderer department: Replace Belkar with Miko.

[Helluin]

Don’t forget to spend a feat: train with a fighter of great renown in afterlife.
Cross-class skill: defeat an enemy combatant of your own CR or higher with nothing but your wits and the environment.


I must succeed: form a soul splice pact with the archfiends.
Caster fight: defeat an enemy spellcaster of your own CR or higher in one-on-one combat


Rolland’s initiatives: settle your old score with a childhood nemesis.
Reunion: reunite with a family member.


True master behind the throne: bond with a feline companion.
Stupid colleague: release a colleague from the curse of vampirism.


Leave them alone: research and cast the spell Mass Death Ward.
Posthumously: return to your homeland.


Best day of my life: release your party from an illusion.
Apotheosis: convince a pantheon to welcome Banjo as a new deity.

[Sermil]

My name's not Greenstick Don't have Roy equip any non-sword weapon throughout the game.

Sneak & Attack Get to the end of the the Haley / Roy romance questline.

[Fyraltari]

History isn't over yet: Kill more than 1,000,000 NPCs with a sngle character other than Vaarsuvius.

When the Mammoth walks Red is struck true: Land a shot on Redcloak during the Battle of Azure City.

Super advanced stealth dinosaur: Use Blackwing to interrupt ten different ennemy casters trying to cast.

No bodies left behind: Escape thegranary without any slave or Resistance fighter (Isamu included) turned into a wight.

[D.One]

I'll be sad, but you'll be dead: defeat Durkon* in solo combat during the Godsmoot.

Antipathy for the Devil: hit Qaar with a damaging spell

If they pull a knife...: cast Familicide

Dissertation of the Index Finger: Disintegrate Kubota

[Fyraltari]

I am having way too much fun with those.

Ultimate Arcane Power: Beat Xykon with Darth Vaarsuvius on maximal difficulty. Unlocks the secret boss fight/bad ending where you kill the rest of the Order and take control of the Snarl.

Dumb subplot anyway: Kill Therkla aboard House Kato's junk.

Ninja themed Superhero: Convince Therkla to join you against Kubota aboard House Kato's junk.

Shameful Approbation: Make a Good deed that Belkar approves.

... And take his place: Cut Tarquin's right hand either on the balcony or aboard The Mechane.

Hel of a show: Use Durkon's vampiric gaze to have 50 Dominated soldiers fight for you.

Inconceivable!: Defeat Yokyok without using any NPC or PC exceptBelkar and without activating the Mark of Justice.

[Helluin]

Just wanted to add a companion quest achievement for Hilgya since I’m liking her style more and more

Hel has no fury...: unwittingly thwart Hel’s plan for Loki while on a petty, self-serving quest of vengeance

[JbeJ275]

Infentisemal infrovements given significant verbosity allowences: Put 13 enemies to sleep

Time for Anel, The neutral twin: Kill Nale while playing Elan

A really cool headstone: Petrify a Huge or larger creature that killed an ally.

Did no one have a thesaurus? Go Up a level while going down a level

Woo! I’m Invisible!: Finish a level as Elan with no clothing or armour items equipped.

[D.One]

Doomsealer: kill at least 5 frost giants with Belkar

She won't be back, precious: Kill Crystal Golen by making her fall in the volcano.

[One Step Two]

I'm don't find that Familiar: Complete the game without summoning Blackwing.

One-Shot Villain: Defeat Redcloak before he escapes Dungeon of Durokan.

Did you keep the video game receipt?: Forget to destroy Xkyon's Phylactery after defeating Redcloak. [Game over]

[Zyzzyva]

Don't mean a thing if you ain't paid for that swing: Take the Spellsplinter feat.

Wander around, kill some sentient creatures, and take their stuff: Leave the Dungeon of Dorukan without encountering Xykon.

Atoning for misdeeds sound like it involve lot of talking: Convert an Orc tribe to the Northern Pantheon.

One sneak attack might have made the difference: Assassinate Xykon. (DLC only. )

[godsflunky]

The Gods Disagree With Your Analysis: fall from paladin-hood

Blow the Effects Budget: When playing as a high-level cleric, defeat a cleric of equal or higher level.

Eye of the Pig, Baby!: Make it to the top of a really tall mountain

[One Step Two]

He Turned undead!: A party member becomes a Vampire.

Treasure Type O: Successfully engage the Beast with Two Backs.

Our most effective strategy: Run away from 10 encounters.

[D.One]

Ædipus Complex(ish): defeat and kill Tarquin with Elan alone.

[Fyraltari]

Crystal Clear: Convince Crystal to seek a cure to her condition.

Chaotic Gouda: Find all secret Goblin cheese stashes.

Dark side of Neutral at worst: Kill every captured, surrendering and fleeing (former) hostile.

We wouldn't need Paladins...: Gain more than 70% reputation with every non-boss named NPC.

We said we wouldn't talk about it ever again: Learn Evan's Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion.

More than anything else in the world: Spend more than an hour on the brick-castle-building minigame when in Celestia.

And Lo, His Prohet Said Unto Us "Let there Be Music Unending And No Pants Too": Convert one NPC to Banjoism.

[Elanasaurus]

Ædipus Complex(ish): defeat and kill Tarquin with Elen alone.

It's Elan!

[Luna_Mayflower]

I wonder if Prophet Luna_Mayflower has any ideas!

End time prophetic insights: Have a prophetic dream.

I told you: Have a prophecy come true.

Bake the Snake: Romance Jake/Malack.

My fire burns hotter: Romance Hilgya.

Where the cool kids swim: Romance Emo Vampire/Poncholo.

Eww, green: Punch one of the salad fingers.

I'm not a cleric, but...: Get solicited via PM.

Non-Nonsequitur: De-Derail a concept.

[PopeLinus1]

Aww! Again! As Elan, annoy all party members into leaving you behind.

I... Didn't actually think that was possible. Talk down Miko

The Order of the Stick left the town that day Complete all of the Order's Tutorial levels

Backstoryific! As the MitD or Miko, Listen to some of Redcloak's Backstory

How important is one of these?Lose an Organ. An important one. And survive.

...It's a type of fish Cheat at scrabble

Wait what gate? Win the game(without Xykon winning) without ever seeing one of the gates, hearing exposition about them, or having you or an NPC cast the Gate spell.

[D.One]

My Three Xykons: Defeat the three fake Xykons during the battle of Azure City, before facing the real one.

Elanicalicus: take a level of Wizard with Elan.

Plotbreakers: Defeat and kill Miko in her first appearance.

Honorary Cliffport Policemen: Stop Nale before he kills CPPD Chief.

They are partial to Blue: defeat Redcloak and his lackeys when he attacks the Resistance base without using any main character.

[Personification]

Failed a Spot Check Play through the entire "Dungeon Crawling Fools" section in Story Mode as Belkar without succeeding at a single Spot or Listen Check

Total Recall As Redcloak use Word of Recall three times to escape combat.

Pros with Cons Have a higher Constitution score than O-Chul

Spoiler Alert! As any character other than Xykon or the MitD, make thebody of the MitD visible to the ausience before the point when this happens in the actual comic strip.

Not At All Like a Vin Diesel Movie take lethal damage from either the explosion or the fall down the mountain caused by Elan pressing the self-destruct on the Gate.

God is No Longer Dead Resurrect Gary Gygax

[PopeLinus1]

Know your Map Symbols Find a secret door

And the Verdict is... Be put on trial at Azure City

High chance of PC's Get the Red Diamond signal as a Resistance Member or Haley

Why did it have to be sharks? as O-Chul, complete DStP

Painfully Outdated Steal from the Cast Page

2:09, Interrogate Paladin Get through a Redcloak Torture session

[D.One]

Know your Map Symbols Find a secret door

And the Verdict is... Be put on trial at Azure City

High chance of PC's Get the Red Diamond signal as a Resistance Member or Haley

Why did it have to be sharks? as O-Chul, complete DStP

Painfully Outdated Steal from the Cast Page

2:09, Interrogate Paladin Get through a Redcloak Torture session

Never gets old: Damage enemies or allies 20 or more times using Explosive Runes.

[RabidEel]

Prophecy... Fulfilled?: Cease breathing, leave this world, stop eating birthday cake, and forget to fund your IRA... while still alive.

Straight to Valhalla: Die honorably as a dwarf.

To Hel in a Handbasket: Die dishonorably as a dwarf.

Alternative Character Interpretation: Play Miko as every alignment.

Nothing To See Here: Block a Detect spell with your lead sheet 20 times.

[Personification]

To Hel in a Handbasket: Die dishonorably as a dwarf.

To Hel in a Handbasket: Die dishonorably as a dwarf in some way involving a handbasket

Nothing To See Here: Block a Detect spell with your lead sheet 20 times.

Shouldn't tis be "Stop Suppressing My Culture"?

[Synesthesy]

Never gets old: Damage enemies or allies 20 or more times using Explosive Runes.

Increasing the size of the explosion (resolving every social issue): damage enemies or allies 100 or more times using Explosive Runes

[D.One]

Triple Badass Sexy Shoeless God of War: Kill 100 enemies with Belkar while mounting on Bloodfeast and wearing Blackwing's Sunglasses.

[Resileaf]

+5 holy cajones: As O-Chul, attack Xykon at every possible opportunity while in captivity.
One saving throw at a time: Witness or survive each of Xykon's spells during the game.

[D.One]

Dispellicious: Cast more than three Dispel Magic spells in a round and manage do dispel all of the opponent(s) effects.

High Stakes: Kill at least five vampires using a wooden stake.

Huh!?: Summon Anarchic Giraffes.

[Resileaf]

By saying the four right words to the right beings at the right time for all the wrong reasons: Achieve complete and total ultimate arcane power.
When the gift horse comes calling, don't look it in the mouth: Bfqe zqp M rt fjketfj wi kljjfz
Yes.: Kill Miko, Miko's stupid horse, Vaarsuvius, Roy and the Prophet.
Yes - for you, at least: Earn your happy ending.

[Mike Havran]

Hit Them With the Big Stick As Roy, defeat twelve or more foes with a greatclub.

Hit the Road As Roy, take falling damage five times.

Happy Fun Sunshine Land As Haley, collect 60 000 gp worth of loot at the Toad Hall and escape without Haley, Celia or Belkar taking any damage.

Greedy to the Bone As Haley, cumulatively collect at least 500 000 gp worth of gold, gems and jewelery.

Touché! As Elan, land a blow on Tarquin during your duel on a Bleedingham Palace rooftop

So Much Pun As Elan, extend duel with Tarquin to 20 combat rounds.

Antimagic As Vaarsuvius, counter 20 spells.

Nothing But Warm Summer Days As Vaarsuvius, destroy five or more Vampires/Vampire Spawns with a single Sunburst.

Goose! As Belkar, destroy at least 20 undead before leaving city limits during the Battle of Azure City.

Pukenstein As Belkar, vomit on a golem.

Little Dwarf With Little Hammer As Durkon, kill at least twelve foes when under effect of Thor's Might.

Healing Machine As Durkon, cumulatively heal 5 000 hit points.

Wololooo Convert a non-orc NPC into worshipping Banjo.

The Bright Side Reach Good alignment with Belkar.

The Cure for Paladin Blues Reach Good alignment with all PCs

The Deep End Reach Evil alignment with a PC other than Belkar

The Unlucky Ending Reach Evil alignment with all PCs