D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread

[Phhase]

Feedback!

Spoiler: Way of the Telekinetic

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Air buffet seems decent. One thing, I think either change the name to something force-y or the damage type to sonic, since I believe force damage is supposed to be a sorta magic-energy-glowy thing. Your call.

Damnnit, now I'm imagining a midair banquet.

Telekinesis is a little odd. On the surface it looks solid, but I'd like to know exactly how finely I can manipulate things. Could I pick a lock? Hell, if I had the Warlock 7 invocation that let you wallhack, could I just turn the tumblers manually? And how exactly do you propose preventing someone from causing damage by dropping a heavy or sharp item? What's the range on this ability, and how far can you move an object in one round? Questions, maboi.

Kinetic Shield is a good idea, I like the idea of a bubble shield. However, why can't you block other types of energy? I think a good way to make it work without being OP would be to allow you to create half, three-quarter, or full cover, depending on how much ki you spend. Completely negating an area of effect ability is pretty powerful.

I like being able to fly, and love the ability to telekinese allies or enemies. However, again, I need to know how fast and how far I can do it. And if I can smack them against a wall like a sack of potatoes.

Shred from within seems fine, though it could stand a 1 or 2 ki cost bump. Would the damage type be bludgeoning?

Perhaps a good name would be way of the Kinetite?

Needs some kneading, but on a good path!

Spoiler: Dreamwalk Monk

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First and foremost: If you die in a dream, do you die in real life? My preference is no (But feel free to throw in a suitably nasty penalty).

Second: What can interact with your dreamform? Can incorporeal creatures like wraiths strike you? Creatures on the Ethereal Plane? What happens if you encounter another monk in dreamform? Does force damage affect/block you? What magical means can keep you out? Are there mundane means (such as walls with gorgon blood mixed into the paint) that can keep you out?

Portents and Twist Mind seem solid.

What are the limits of "Creature you are aware of?" Do they have to be in line of sight? If so, I don't really see what the point of it is. Otherwise, good.

No complaints with Dreamsight.

I've never seen such an intensely RP and non-combat information-gathering-centric monk. It's honestly a really cool idea. You've turned the monk into a detective class. Not sure how "Good" it is, but I feel like that's not the point of the subclass. I like it!

Spoiler: Nilbog Patron

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Interesting idea! Great shoutout to one of the weirdo monsters of old.

Honestly, I wouldn't mind just getting straight-up healing from reversal of fortune. As is though, it's good. One question: do the temporary hit points apply before or after you receive the reduced damage?

I love Greater Nilbogism. Sounds like a fun time. Can you have multiple targets laughing at once?

Overall solid, but I think it needs a social feature as well. Maybe the ability to turn a natural 1 on a charisma skill into a natural 20 x times per y? Could make for some hilarious RP. I'd be totally willing to lose Fear and Low Things for that.

Spoiler: Way of the Stilled Tide

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Nice! I like the Zen-zone flavor.

Winding Rivers is cool. Could you potentially apply a Stunning Strike to the attack? Potentially to all creatures within 5 feet?

Mindfulness seems a little unclear. Wouldn't it have no effect if your Intelligence was the same or higher than your Wisdom?

Permanent Mind Blank is pretty strong, nice.

Overall, it seems ok, but a little bland/passive, with a lack of options. I'm biased towards complicated things, but still, it needs...something. A little spice.

Spoiler: Path of the Flow Zone

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Why only thrown weapons? I'd like to be able to make a BowBarian. Seems like it would fit nicely.

Third Law of Trajectories seems good. I wonder how it would combine with other classes.

I'm curious as to how you envision Immersed Perception being used in game, since search and investigate are things you usually do out of combat, where you're not making attacks or taking damage to perpetuate your rage. However, if you can convince me, I'll totally buy into it. I really do like the idea of rapid analysis/sherlock scanning during combat.

Master of Causality seems good, but clean up the wording a bit. Just to be clear: if you are making an attack of opportunity against a creature, Master of Causality allows you to make a second attack against the same creature, right?

Spoiler: Star Wars Laser Sword Swinger Fighter

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Hoboy here we go. Boy, I love me some ultra-customizable subclasses.

Dice system is fine. I like the combo of Unarmored Defense and Fighter, I've been wanting a Fighter that's not a bufftank style guy.

Mind Trick is good but hear me out on this: I don't like the proficiency in Deception and Persuasion. Insight is fine because it's a sort of awareness thing but the latter two makes it feel kinda like an always-on social cheat thing. I'm not saying it's too powerful, not at all, it just doesn't jive quite right to me. Instead of the proficiency and expertises, give us weaker or non-mass suggestions at lower levels. That feels more right to me. The Mind Trick is traditionally a one-on-one sort of nudge, to me anyway. Perhaps lower levels are equivalent to the Friends spell?

Reflexes is good.

I like the flexibility Saber crafting has. A laser whip or glaive is totally rad. Energy blades in general are sweet, which is why I used them too 8).

Master, etc, etc fine, fine, let's get to the meat of it:

Da powas:

Disclaimer off the bat: I'd like it if the action costs were listed, even if it would seem otherwise obvious. It helps in understanding how the abilities can be combined, or if at all.

Force Push - Perfect, but I'd like a middle ground between 1 target and "All my dice in targets." Just being able to choose how many targets/dice I spend would be fine.

Force Leap - Nice, I love leaping attacks. I would potentially be willing to give up the enhanced attack to add another dice and jump even farther. Boing! Also, back to the disclaimer, denote the limitations. I'd like to know if I can use this twice in one round if I Dash.

Hurl Object - Pretty much perfect!

Premonition - Pretty powerful. Not sure if it should be applicable to ANY save though. Your call.

Psychic Strike - I'd prefer if this were a ranged spell attack rather than part of a melee attack. Otherwise, pretty good!

Force Choke - Pretty cool and almost perfect, but are you sure you don't wanna go with suffocation rather than bludgeoning damage?

Force Lightning - No problems here.

Throw Lightsaber - Elegantly described. Just one thing: does it return to you, or do I hafta go get it?

Guided Strike - Good, but do you have to do it before you roll the attack, or can you do it after, potentially turning a miss into a hit? And can I do it more than once to the same attack?

Lightsaber Parry - Really cool ability, would be a must-have for me. If I have resistance to the projectile's damage type, do you factor that into whether or not the projectile is deflected? And what exactly qualifies as a reflectable projectile? Could I reflect a spell that rolls a ranged attack roll? I'd sure want to. I also think using the original enemy's attack roll against the secondary target would be fine and avoid excessive bookkeeping.

Open Hand - Undecided.

Force Disarm - Potentially very powerful. Where do other objects land if you pull one of them to your hand? Personally, wouldn't mind if this was single-target.

Force Block - I feel like this could just be rolled into Lightsaber Parry.

Lightsaber Charge - Nice, but does it stack with the Charger feat? I hope so. Can you pick any or even more than one creature in your path, or only one at the end?

Surprise Attack - Not certain how strong or weak this is, needs testing. I personally probably wouldn't consider taking it.

Lightsaber Sever - Nice. Can this be applied to Throw Lightsaber? Also, hang on...

>If you are on higher ground than your opponent, they lose three limbs.
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFHHAHA

iTs OvEr ACerAk, I HaVE tHE higH GRound!

Soulweaver feedback? Also, if anyone catches the extremely obscure reference it's making, I'll be summarily surprised.

[Fnissalot]

Feedback!

Spoiler: Path of the Flow Zone

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Why only thrown weapons? I'd like to be able to make a BowBarian. Seems like it would fit nicely.

Third Law of Trajectories seems good. I wonder how it would combine with other classes.

I'm curious as to how you envision Immersed Perception being used in game, since search and investigate are things you usually do out of combat, where you're not making attacks or taking damage to perpetuate your rage. However, if you can convince me, I'll totally buy into it. I really do like the idea of rapid analysis/sherlock scanning during combat.

Master of Causality seems good, but clean up the wording a bit. Just to be clear: if you are making an attack of opportunity against a creature, Master of Causality allows you to make a second attack against the same creature, right?

Thanks for the comments.

I have no real objection versus other ranged weapons. So why not?

I always thought the search action is weird and most often in my games, people search after the fights. This would let the barbarian do most of those deductions and observations while the fight persists and then after the fight already know everything. Since it will only take a bonus action, you still have your reaction and action to fight with. Barbarians do not have that much that fight for their bonus action anyway.

It is intended to give 1 extra attacks against the same target on opportunity attacks and 1 attack when you do your sense of time and space reaction.

[AdAstra]

Spoiler: Way of the Stilled Tide

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Nice! I like the Zen-zone flavor.

Winding Rivers is cool. Could you potentially apply a Stunning Strike to the attack? Potentially to all creatures within 5 feet?

Mindfulness seems a little unclear. Wouldn't it have no effect if your Intelligence was the same or higher than your Wisdom?

Permanent Mind Blank is pretty strong, nice.

Overall, it seems ok, but a little bland/passive, with a lack of options. I'm biased towards complicated things, but still, it needs...something. A little spice.

Soulweaver feedback? Also, if anyone catches the extremely obscure reference it's making, I'll be summarily surprised.

No reason why not. In general Stunning Strike is less effective when done out of turn, and it makes you ineligible for Knowledge is Power. You're not going to be getting any more SS attempts on a single creature than you could otherwise, since you're giving up your bonus action attack/Flurry of Blows.

Your Wisdom modifier is the minimum bonus. Yeah, if your Int was equal to or higher than your Wis by this point, this would be useless, but since you're a Monk, such a stat spread would be extremely suboptimal already. It's basically a very narrow, but generally more powerful Jack of All Trades, meant to give you some decent modifiers on the skills you didn't pick with Scholarly Devotion.

It's definitely not a fancy subclass. Restrained and practical, to better fit the cerebral nature. It could probably use something else though. Probably some sort of information-gathering ability.

EDIT: Okay basically took a modified version of the Battlemaster's ability and put it at level 6.

[Phhase]

No reason why not. In general Stunning Strike is less effective when done out of turn, and it makes you ineligible for Knowledge is Power. You're not going to be getting any more SS attempts on a single creature than you could otherwise, since you're giving up your bonus action attack/Flurry of Blows.

Your Wisdom modifier is the minimum bonus. Yeah, if your Int was equal to or higher than your Wis by this point, this would be useless, but since you're a Monk, such a stat spread would be extremely suboptimal already. It's basically a very narrow, but generally more powerful Jack of All Trades, meant to give you some decent modifiers on the skills you didn't pick with Scholarly Devotion.

It's definitely not a fancy subclass. Restrained and practical, to better fit the cerebral nature. It could probably use something else though. Probably some sort of information-gathering ability.

EDIT: Okay basically took a modified version of the Battlemaster's ability and put it at level 6.

Nice. I like it, fits like a glove. Honestly, Path of Flow could use that ability too.

[AdAstra]

For Soul Weaver, the subclass feels really unfitting for wizard from a mechanical perspective (and it doesn’t feel like something that has to be a wizard subclass)? It requires high Wisdom on an Int-based class that’s also going to be in melee, making Dex essential as well. A Str-build is right out without some multiclassing, and that d6 hit die is going to cause a whole lot of problems. It’s also unclear as to what the save DC for your Soulweaver abilities is based on. I would assume Int? But that results in abilities that use your Int mod for “accuracy” and Wisdom mod for damage.

The way you did combined Force/Psychic damage seems like a rather odd concept that doesn’t really jive well with 5e’s philosophy. half-resistance/immunity isn’t so much complicated as it is completely unlike any other mechanic in the game, and not well-explained in the text. It basically works, though.

Overall though, this feels a lot more like a fighter, rogue, or maybe even monk subclass. Wizard doesn’t really bring anything to the table here, and gives the class several disadvantages it wouldn’t otherwise have.

[Rawrawrawr]

First and foremost: If you die in a dream, do you die in real life? My preference is no (But feel free to throw in a suitably nasty penalty).

The intent was no, but now I've made it official.

Second: What can interact with your dreamform? Can incorporeal creatures like wraiths strike you? Creatures on the Ethereal Plane? What happens if you encounter another monk in dreamform? Does force damage affect/block you? What magical means can keep you out? Are there mundane means (such as walls with gorgon blood mixed into the paint) that can keep you out?

The intent was that you can attacked (hence sharing your statistics), but that you rarely will be intentionally attacked since you're both invisible and hidden to basically anything without truesight. Hopefully that's a little clearer, after rewriting.

What are the limits of "Creature you are aware of?" Do they have to be in line of sight? If so, I don't really see what the point of it is. Otherwise, good.

None, basically - it's essentially Scrying, so the minimum is pretty much "You need to have heard of the target secondhand".

I've never seen such an intensely RP and non-combat information-gathering-centric monk. It's honestly a really cool idea. You've turned the monk into a detective class. Not sure how "Good" it is, but I feel like that's not the point of the subclass. I like it!

Thanks! I'm not sure how good it is, either Flying and incorporeal movement are really strong abilities, so I tried to balance it out by not giving it too many combat upgrades - but I honestly have no idea how this would turn out in real play, haha

Spoiler: Way of the Telekinetic

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If you're looking for ideas, maybe Path of the Unseen Hand? That's from a 3.5 prestige class, and sounds flowery enough to be a monk path. Anyways, onto the actual review:

• Air Buffet seems solid - not much else to say on that one.
• Telekinesis, I feel could use some more information - like, how quickly can you move an object, and what level of finesse do you have with your control? Also it says you can use an action to move an object, but doesn't specify whether you can continue holding it in the air after your action.
• For the sixth level feature, I feel like 2 points might be slightly overpriced for just advantage on a saving throw, honestly - I'm not sure this is worth two Stunning Strikes, for example, and the monk 14th level feature gives a similar ability for only 1 ki point (I know it's not exactly fair to compare 6th and 14th level features, but still). I think it could either be buffed slightly (e.g., suffer no effects on a successful save) or taken down to 1 point, but that's just me.
• I also feel like the 11th level enemy flinging feature might be a bit overpriced. The general best case scenario is you fling an opponent in the air, dealing a couple of dice of falling damage, and grapple it in a place where no one is within its melee reach, effectively wasting its turn (yes, I know you might be able to fling it off of a cliff sometimes, but that's fairly situational) - but an attack action with stunning strike does something similar, but with more damage and a better shutdown ability, for 1/3 of the price. Another way to look at it is the warlock - the monk probably shouldn't be doing ranged attacks to the same degree of effectiveness as a Warlock, but there's a really big disparity right now - the Warlock can pretty easily do 3d10 + 15 damage, plus knocking back 30 feet, at this level, and can do it at will.
• Flight is definitely cool for a telekinetic monk.
• This ability seems pretty fairly priced. The Long Death monk can do 2d10 per ki point, and while that does a bit more than that, it's also less flexible in terms of how much ki you can pump into it. To be honest, it doesn't feel super telekinetic to me, but that's just a matter of personal taste, I think.

Overall, it's pretty solid - it's a telekinetic monk, and it feels like a telekinetic monk I do feel like you can afford to be a little less conservative with abilities, though.

Spoiler: Soulweaver

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So, I really like the idea of a lightly armored gish with a magic blade and a whole bunch of teleport spam, but a I have few broad critiques:

• The wizard is one of the most complicated classes in-play, in the game - the compensate, I think the developer's usually try to keep the subclasses relatively simple to keep track of - one major feature, either with an easy-to-keep track of number of uses (e.g., 2 or 3 Diviner rolls, or 2 Bladesongs per rest), or are always active (e.g., extra Evocation damage, solid illusions), and a few other small bonuses. The long-rest point system of this class adds a pretty significant cognitive load to that - it's not easy to immediately tell how many uses of your abilities you have left from the number of points you have (and therefore, whether it's a good time to use an ability), and the fact that they only recharge on a long rest means that you also have to be very forward thinking about how you spend them. An example of a quick and dirty fix would be that most of the abilities cost about 4 points, so you could divide the number of points given by the feature by 4 (e.g., at level 6, your Wis modifier probably isn't more than +2, so (6 + 2) / 4 = 2 points. At 20, your Wis modifier is probably +3 or +4, so just say (20 + 4) / 4 = 6 points). That would make it a lot easier to keep track of how many uses of your abilities you have left (of course, you'd have to rejigger the abilities so they're all roughly worth 4 or 8 points). Obviously, there's probably better ways of doing that, but that was just a quick and dirty example of what I was talking about.
• There's also a lot of... wonkiness, to the abilities. Looking at Slice Thread, for example, the Acrobatics check to not fall prone and the varying attacks based on size add a level of detail that doesn't quite seem necessary. The very varied number of attacks makes it a bit hard to balance, which leads to a weird costing scheme (which makes it hard to plan how many points you'll need to keep in reserve throughout the day), and the inability to critically hit or fail seems to come out of left field. Or Soul Cross requires you to give up your stat bonus (something extra to remember, when you could probably just balance around a regular attack to make it easier to use in-play), use your reaction on your turn (which is not the most intuitive - it might take an extra read or two to grok the technique as a result), teleport to a very specific location, deal damage with a stat that's not normally associated with damage, and then repeat it a number of times (determined with a very wonky equation that boils down to "once most levels, maybe twice at high levels") with a slightly complicated targeting restriction for the follow-up attacks. As a result, these abilities require you to hold a lot in your mind at once during play, and are also pretty difficult to evaluate when you're picking from more than two or three options (or, say, judging them for a contest ). For the complexity of the techniques, I'd look at things like the Battlemaster Fighter, Elements Monk, or Warlock Invocations as general guideline (I mean, I think you can afford to go a little more complex, but probably not to the level that they are now).
• Lastly, I know you said this subclass was supposed to favor mobility over defense compared to Bladesinger, but the wizard kinda needs some level of defense to melee. You only have 1d6 HP per level and light armor/Mage Armor, on a chassis that can't afford to raise Dexterity and Constitution too high (because you need to prioritize Intelligence and Wisdom), which makes you... probably too squishy to get close to monsters. If you want a mobile melee wizard without an emphasis on defense options, then that mobility should probably be your defensive option - you should probably be able to close in 30 feet, attack, and get at least 30 feet away, in the same turn.

So yeah, overall I like the idea, but I think the complexity should really be dialed back a few notches overall, and saved for where it's really needed.

[BerzerkerUnit]

Invisible Fist Fighter is up.

I used Mage Hand as a chassis, feeling the limitations of its range and action economy were way to constrain the potential power of the archetype. From there I borrowed from Arcane Trickster to keep the feel of a Telekinetic character rather than a very specialist Wizard.

You can cast mage hand, you can choose to make it an invisible weapon like appendage instead of a hand. As you get more attacks you can get more hands and you can stretch the action economy a bit there. There a trade for defense and offense bit since the hands can be a pinpoint defense mechanism. I think this is a really solid option for Barbarian MC without being too OP.

Capstone gives you a 1/rest 5th level spell casting from a short, themed list.

Note: you have to sacrifice attacks to make attacks, I need to add wording to make that explicit as well as how weapons work if you have the hands wielding them. Presently it might read you can have the hands attack as a bonus action. It isn’t intended that way.

[nickl_2000]

Feedback!

Air buffet seems decent. One thing, I think either change the name to something force-y or the damage type to sonic, since I believe force damage is supposed to be a sorta magic-energy-glowy thing. Your call.

I struggled with the damage type here to be honest. I didn't want it to be straight bludgeoning since monks have that up the wazoo already. I've always struggled with my mind cannon for thunder damage, but that is likely the most appropriate type for this.

Telekinesis is a little odd. On the surface it looks solid, but I'd like to know exactly how finely I can manipulate things. Could I pick a lock? Hell, if I had the Warlock 7 invocation that let you wallhack, could I just turn the tumblers manually? And how exactly do you propose preventing someone from causing damage by dropping a heavy or sharp item? What's the range on this ability, and how far can you move an object in one round? Questions, maboi.

I knew it would be... I tried to get my ideas out there to see what would stick and what wouldn't. Thanks for throwing the questions out there so that I can resolve them. Also, I think using this to wall hack would be an awesome use. If you are willing to be that MAD, I think it fits.

Kinetic Shield is a good idea, I like the idea of a bubble shield. However, why can't you block other types of energy? I think a good way to make it work without being OP would be to allow you to create half, three-quarter, or full cover, depending on how much ki you spend. Completely negating an area of effect ability is pretty powerful.

Not bad, I will consider it in the updates. I chose damage types that would make sense for a telekenetic shield to block. Blocking psychic, radiant, and necrotic doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me, but I could probably increase it to more.

I like being able to fly, and love the ability to telekinese allies or enemies. However, again, I need to know how fast and how far I can do it. And if I can smack them against a wall like a sack of potatoes.

Yup, I was trying to avoid being to wordy but I don't think it is possible. I will likely split the level 11 ability into two different abilities to make it much more clear.

Spoiler: Way of the Telekinetic

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If you're looking for ideas, maybe Path of the Unseen Hand? That's from a 3.5 prestige class, and sounds flowery enough to be a monk path. Anyways, onto the actual review:

• Air Buffet seems solid - not much else to say on that one.
• Telekinesis, I feel could use some more information - like, how quickly can you move an object, and what level of finesse do you have with your control? Also it says you can use an action to move an object, but doesn't specify whether you can continue holding it in the air after your action.
• For the sixth level feature, I feel like 2 points might be slightly overpriced for just advantage on a saving throw, honestly - I'm not sure this is worth two Stunning Strikes, for example, and the monk 14th level feature gives a similar ability for only 1 ki point (I know it's not exactly fair to compare 6th and 14th level features, but still). I think it could either be buffed slightly (e.g., suffer no effects on a successful save) or taken down to 1 point, but that's just me.
• I also feel like the 11th level enemy flinging feature might be a bit overpriced. The general best case scenario is you fling an opponent in the air, dealing a couple of dice of falling damage, and grapple it in a place where no one is within its melee reach, effectively wasting its turn (yes, I know you might be able to fling it off of a cliff sometimes, but that's fairly situational) - but an attack action with stunning strike does something similar, but with more damage and a better shutdown ability, for 1/3 of the price. Another way to look at it is the warlock - the monk probably shouldn't be doing ranged attacks to the same degree of effectiveness as a Warlock, but there's a really big disparity right now - the Warlock can pretty easily do 3d10 + 15 damage, plus knocking back 30 feet, at this level, and can do it at will.
• Flight is definitely cool for a telekinetic monk.
• This ability seems pretty fairly priced. The Long Death monk can do 2d10 per ki point, and while that does a bit more than that, it's also less flexible in terms of how much ki you can pump into it. To be honest, it doesn't feel super telekinetic to me, but that's just a matter of personal taste, I think.

Overall, it's pretty solid - it's a telekinetic monk, and it feels like a telekinetic monk I do feel like you can afford to be a little less conservative with abilities, though.

Thank you for all the comments. I need to process a little more and compare and contrast to other comments, but I really really appreciate it!

[sengmeng]

Slowly doing some feedback. Will add them all to this post, so check back as I get to yours.

Spoiler: Invisible Fist Fighter

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There's a lot that I like here. Ranged damage becomes easier, using your hands for other things, wielding way more items than you should be able to, etc. Fun and flavorful and I would allow it in a campaign, and probably take it myself if it really fit a character concept that I was playing. However, dealing damage with your mage hands means needing a high int, which means probably abandoning strength (not a huge issue, because why do this unless you want to be a ranged damage dealer?), which could make for a rough time at your first two levels as you lug around your massive brain without it helping in combat. I don't feel that Eldritch knight suffers the same way, because you probably wouldn't need to pump int to the same level to be a decent Eldritch knight. Overall, I think it's good, and it expands the fighter's capabilities in a fun way. I may need to read over it again to make sure I understand it properly, so keep in mind that it's also a bit complex and maybe look for ways to tighten and clarify the wording if possible.

[nickl_2000]

Monk - Way of the Telekinetic - Pretty big changes

• Changed Air Buffets to be thunder damage
• Cleaned up Telekinesis to answer all questions hopefully
• Made kinetic Shield give resistance and reduced Ki cost
• Split level 11 into two abilities and made throwing enemies around do damage.
• Trashed the last ability and make it completely different.

[sleepyhead]

Dipped my toe in with the Doll sorcerer origin, still needs some work.

[BerzerkerUnit]

Slowly doing some feedback. Will add them all to this post, so check back as I get to yours.

Spoiler: Invisible Fist Fighter

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There's a lot that I like here. Ranged damage becomes easier, using your hands for other things, wielding way more items than you should be able to, etc. Fun and flavorful and I would allow it in a campaign, and probably take it myself if it really fit a character concept that I was playing. However, dealing damage with your mage hands means needing a high int, which means probably abandoning strength (not a huge issue, because why do this unless you want to be a ranged damage dealer?), which could make for a rough time at your first two levels as you lug around your massive brain without it helping in combat. I don't feel that Eldritch knight suffers the same way, because you probably wouldn't need to pump int to the same level to be a decent Eldritch knight. Overall, I think it's good, and it expands the fighter's capabilities in a fun way. I may need to read over it again to make sure I understand it properly, so keep in mind that it's also a bit complex and maybe look for ways to tighten and clarify the wording if possible.

Thanks so much for your feedback.

Yes, so much of the wording needs a thrice over. I think you’d be okay with a serviceable Dex and medium armor to start, but I can see it being a challenge to wrap your head around.

[nickl_2000]

Finally a little bit of free time to provide feedback

Spoiler: Invisible Fist Fighter

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A good look at a telekenetic fighter, there are a few inconsistencies that need cleaned up though.

3-Mind Over Matter - The weight, does that mean that it uses the carry capacity of a normal creature where it weight it multiplied by your int instead of strength? The language here could use some cleaning up. Also, can the mage hand pick up creatures?

Ballistics - My gut on this was that it was to powerful since it was at all. However casters are casting level 4 spells already so at will 3d8 verses 2x 1d8+dex is about the same.

Applied Thought - This is a little bit out of flavor in my mind. Your mage hand from level 3 is not suitable for fine manipulation. Then here at level 10 it helps with tool use checks. That doesn't seem to fit all that well.

Spoiler: Dreamwalker Monk

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An interesting way to take a monk. I do struggle with the fast there there is very little in the way of combat assistance here. The monk can scout incredibly well, but they get very little. Additionally, there isn't much that uses your Ki (which is pretty standard for a monk). If it were me, I would look at dropping dream portent and putting something in there that could directly assist the combat tier, but it isn't my subclass

Dreamwalk - I had to laugh at the impressionist painting description. Just a good way to describe it. What actions are allowed to a dreamwalker? Are they only able to dash and enter dreams? Or can they do something else? Can you cast spells while dreamwalking?

Dream Portents - While it's not unheard of to do x per long rest casting, it is way more common to allow Monk to cast using their Ki points.

Projected Dreamself What does "creature that you are aware of" mean exactly? Someone you can see? Someone you know? This needs to be fleshed out more than it is to be easily understandable.

Spoiler: Warlock Otherworldly Patron – The Nilbog

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First things first, I adore the Nilbog. So, I'm excited to see where this goes!

Emanate Nilbogism - I would flat out say that this requires concentration rather than the way you phrase it. When reading, I am not sure if I can have the aura and hex going at the same time or not. Also, when you say attack what does it apply for? Melee, Ranged, Spell Melee, Spell Ranged, AoE?

Greater Nilbogism - So how many versions of Tashas can you have going at once? Only 1 at a time, or can you have multiple since it's the same concentration as your aura?

Overall this is very solid and a great implementation of the idea. A small thing that may be worth considering is when you have your aura active, healing spells actually hurt you. That is one aspect of the Nilbog that you don't have represented in this subclass that could make it even more interesting.

Spoiler: Monk- Way of the Stilled Tide

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welcome to the party! Glad you decided to join us. When you are putting in abilities, make sure that you add the class levels or make them a little more obvious.

Scholarly Devotion - There is a whole lot going on here. 1 tool, 1 language (mostly fluff), 2 skills with expertise, and guidance. It feels like to much to me. I would either give a cantrip that isn't as universally useful (guidance is just plain awesome), not give expertise on the skills, or only give 1 skills prof and expertise. I think that would tame it enough for me

Winding Rivers Cleave Through Mountains - I like this. I mean, I really like this ability. I don't see much that needs to be changed.

Level 11 is to much. You effectively have 3 skills here. Reactions to attack everyone around you, Stunning Strike targeting wisdom, mindfulness. I would look to drop one of these to make a more balanced level. Mindfulness is a little odd in phrasing. The typical phrasing you see is "When you make an intelligence check or save, you may use your wisdom modifier in place of your intelligence modifier."

Perfect Clarity - You are constantly under the effect of both an 8th level spell and a 6th level spell. Even for a capstone that is a little much. From a flavor of the class, Mind Blank seems perfect and is (at least in my opinion) a solid and good capstone.


You have a solid subclass here. It introduces a new playstyle for the monk, which is not entirely easy, and not everything is based on combat. Fix the couple of times where it gets to powerful and you will have a really, really solid and fun subclass to play.

Spoiler: Path of the Flowminder

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Assuming Barbarian since it's a Path and other things. I know, I'm picky about mentioning this....

Sense of Time and Space -
Does the reaction need to be limited to an amount of times per day? I know it's intelligence and all, and only during rage. I was just wondering.
The second paragraph could be simplified into "...you may apply your rage damage bonus to ranged weapon attacks"


The Third Law of Trajectories - Thanks for not making this better than the Arcane Archer. Although I would consider making it take a bonus action since you also get Advantage.

Immersed Perception - How does raging make you search more effectively? This seems like an edge case enough that it doesn't need to be done while raging. Just open it up for the barbarian to be an all the time thing.

Master of Causality - Powerwise this seems fine to me. Wording wise it needs to be cleaned up though. You don't need the raging in the first sentence since Sense of Time and Space only applies while raging.

The ranged throwing Barbarian is a niche that needs filling and I think this does a decent job of it. I look forward to seeing the flavor that explains the whys of things.

Spoiler: Jedi Fighter Archetype

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Jedi? What is this Jedi thing you are talking about?

Power - On power per attack action or attack? Just checking to see. Also, looks like there is a copy and paste error where you have maneuver when replacing powers.

Spoiler: Force Powers

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Hurl Object - Adding both wis and dex is likely going to break bounded accuracy. I would pick one of the other.
Throw Lightsaber - Probably should add auto-return here.
Force Disarm - This is broken, I mean really, really broken. You can disarm up to 8 creatures at once at level 3?
Force Block - This needs to be a reaction, and we need to know if it is done before or after we know if it hits.
Lightsaber Sever - Cool, fitting, but really broken. I would drop this entirely to be honest.

Jedi Mind Trick - Seems like to much giving expertise in all of that. Maybe reduce the amount of skills you can get it in? The mass suggestions is cool, flavorful, and fitting though.

It's a jedi, and the force powers are a good representation of what a jedi can do. I think there are a few things that need rebalanced, and I'm a little concerned about radiant damage on the lightsabre (although it is probably fine).

Spoiler: Soulweaver

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Familiar Shapes - title seems off here since it doesn't actually impact a wizard's familiar. What fighting styles do you get to choose from? All of them?
Conjure Soulblades - Level 2 still? I'm not sure what "though they do not lose any mass" means here. Can you summon both soulblades in the same bonus action?
Afterimage Lunge - Can you pass through walls or only creatures?
Slice Thread - If it were me, I would make the cost variable and small creatures cost on 2 threads, but that is just me :)
Soul Cross - I don't see a need for a save here for half. Since you are only doing prof bonus damage it just doesn't seem like a big deal to just do full damage.

Spoiler: Sorcerer Origin: Doll

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Mind bow - The wording can be tightened up here, but that is an aside. What metamagic can impact the bow? Twin, Quicken? It may be significantly easier if you were to create a new ranged cantrip that does what you want it to do rather than making a bow and trying to fit your ideal into that. This is especially rife for abuse from multiclassing (currently by RAW, a Doll Sorcerer 1/Fighter 19 gets 3 attacks at 4d8 + dex each round).

Mind Pierce
Blackout needs a save or something when it hits. It's to powerful as is currently.
No 4th level spell effect?

Everything else looks good to me. :)

Phew now I'm caught up!

[BerzerkerUnit]

Finally a little bit of free time to provide feedback

Spoiler: Invisible Fist Fighter

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A good look at a telekenetic fighter, there are a few inconsistencies that need cleaned up though.

3-Mind Over Matter - The weight, does that mean that it uses the carry capacity of a normal creature where it weight it multiplied by your int instead of strength? The language here could use some cleaning up. Also, can the mage hand pick up creatures?

Ballistics - My gut on this was that it was to powerful since it was at all. However casters are casting level 4 spells already so at will 3d8 verses 2x 1d8+dex is about the same.

Applied Thought - This is a little bit out of flavor in my mind. Your mage hand from level 3 is not suitable for fine manipulation. Then here at level 10 it helps with tool use checks. That doesn't seem to fit all that well.

Thanks so much for your feedback.

Yes, the strength of the Hand is much greater than normal when used in its combat form. The intent is that you could move other characters or even grant yourself a crude form of flight, but I didn’t make it explicit since many DMs loathe flight abilities before upper levels.

Re: Applied Thought
note it says something like “at your option the hand can assume the form of...” and that makes it bulky and unsuitable for fine manipulation.

Applied Thought requires the normal manifestation of mage hand with its 10lb limit. This creates an action economy limitation as you’d have to recast to switch from picking locks to fighting.

As stated up thread it needs some language tuning, but I think it’s solid on concept and power for level.

[sleepyhead]

Spoiler: Sorcerer Origin: Doll

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Mind bow - The wording can be tightened up here, but that is an aside. What metamagic can impact the bow? Twin, Quicken? It may be significantly easier if you were to create a new ranged cantrip that does what you want it to do rather than making a bow and trying to fit your ideal into that. This is especially rife for abuse from multiclassing (currently by RAW, a Doll Sorcerer 1/Fighter 19 gets 3 attacks at 4d8 + dex each round).

Mind Pierce
Blackout needs a save or something when it hits. It's to powerful as is currently.
No 4th level spell effect?

Everything else looks good to me. :)

Mindbow- Fixed? I think
Mind Pierce- Blackout has a bunch of saves already
Working on the 4th level effect bit.
Thanks for the critique .

[AdAstra]

[SPOILER=Monk- Way of the Stilled Tide]

welcome to the party! Glad you decided to join us. When you are putting in abilities, make sure that you add the class levels or make them a little more obvious.

Scholarly Devotion - There is a whole lot going on here. 1 tool, 1 language (mostly fluff), 2 skills with expertise, and guidance. It feels like to much to me. I would either give a cantrip that isn't as universally useful (guidance is just plain awesome), not give expertise on the skills, or only give 1 skills prof and expertise. I think that would tame it enough for me

Winding Rivers Cleave Through Mountains - I like this. I mean, I really like this ability. I don't see much that needs to be changed.

Level 11 is to much. You effectively have 3 skills here. Reactions to attack everyone around you, Stunning Strike targeting wisdom, mindfulness. I would look to drop one of these to make a more balanced level. Mindfulness is a little odd in phrasing. The typical phrasing you see is "When you make an intelligence check or save, you may use your wisdom modifier in place of your intelligence modifier."

Perfect Clarity - You are constantly under the effect of both an 8th level spell and a 6th level spell. Even for a capstone that is a little much. From a flavor of the class, Mind Blank seems perfect and is (at least in my opinion) a solid and good capstone.


You have a solid subclass here. It introduces a new playstyle for the monk, which is not entirely easy, and not everything is based on combat. Fix the couple of times where it gets to powerful and you will have a really, really solid and fun subclass to play.

I used the standard format that's used in the books just to fit the base game's style. Every ability states when you get it, so I'm not too worried. Might clean it up a little though.

This is basically a slightly tweaked version of the Knowledge Cleric's 1st level ability plus a (admittedly very good) cantrip. I could probably ditch Guidance, but the proficiencies look a lot more impactful than they actually are. Expertise in two knowledge skills won't break anything, especially when Monks only get 2 skills to begin with (+2 background).

Two spells permanently is strong, but they're both fairly situational spells. If I had to choose between Mind Blank and Truesight, I'd probably pick Truesight instead and add a little something extra.

I considered three abilities acceptable because two are just upgrades to existing features. I'll probably move the WRCTM upgrade to 17 if I get rid of Mind Blank or Truesight, though. That should clear things out.

Mindfulness is specifically not supposed to work like that. When I say your Wisdom modifier is the minimum bonus to your roll, I mean that it's the minimum bonus to your roll. It's not replacing your Intelligence modifier, it's replacing whatever bonus you would otherwise have, so no proficiency or situational bonuses (other than advantage). If you have a +4 to Wisdom, your minimum bonus to any Intelligence check or Saving Throw is +4. It's not very strong and was never intended to be. Think of it like Barkskin.

EDIT: I think I'll change Mindfulness to just allow you to use your Wis mod instead of Int. It clearly causes a lot of confusion doing it the previous way. The feature ends up stronger, but it's not a huge deal after moving the WRCTM improvement up to 17th. I'm also gonna change Knowledge is Power to slightly boost the amount of ki points it gives. As is, in the best case scenario, it'll give you 20% more ki points. If you're spending more than 1 ki point per turn, or spending ki outside of your turn, you'll get even less.

[Phhase]

Spoiler

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So, I really like the idea of a lightly armored gish with a magic blade and a whole bunch of teleport spam,

• The wizard is one of the most complicated classes in-play, in the game - the compensate, I think the developer's usually try to keep the subclasses relatively simple to keep track of - one major feature, either with an easy-to-keep track of number of uses (e.g., 2 or 3 Diviner rolls, or 2 Bladesongs per rest), or are always active (e.g., extra Evocation damage, solid illusions), and a few other small bonuses. The long-rest point system of this class adds a pretty significant cognitive load to that - it's not easy to immediately tell how many uses of your abilities you have left from the number of points you have (and therefore, whether it's a good time to use an ability), and the fact that they only recharge on a long rest means that you also have to be very forward thinking about how you spend them. An example of a quick and dirty fix would be that most of the abilities cost about 4 points, so you could divide the number of points given by the feature by 4 (e.g., at level 6, your Wis modifier probably isn't more than +2, so (6 + 2) / 4 = 2 points. At 20, your Wis modifier is probably +3 or +4, so just say (20 + 4) / 4 = 6 points). That would make it a lot easier to keep track of how many uses of your abilities you have left (of course, you'd have to rejigger the abilities so they're all roughly worth 4 or 8 points). Obviously, there's probably better ways of doing that, but that was just a quick and dirty example of what I was talking about.
• There's also a lot of... wonkiness, to the abilities. Looking at Slice Thread, for example, the Acrobatics check to not fall prone and the varying attacks based on size add a level of detail that doesn't quite seem necessary. The very varied number of attacks makes it a bit hard to balance, which leads to a weird costing scheme (which makes it hard to plan how many points you'll need to keep in reserve throughout the day), and the inability to critically hit or fail seems to come out of left field. Or Soul Cross requires you to give up your stat bonus (something extra to remember, when you could probably just balance around a regular attack to make it easier to use in-play), use your reaction on your turn (which is not the most intuitive - it might take an extra read or two to grok the technique as a result), teleport to a very specific location, deal damage with a stat that's not normally associated with damage, and then repeat it a number of times (determined with a very wonky equation that boils down to "once most levels, maybe twice at high levels") with a slightly complicated targeting restriction for the follow-up attacks. As a result, these abilities require you to hold a lot in your mind at once during play, and are also pretty difficult to evaluate when you're picking from more than two or three options (or, say, judging them for a contest ). For the complexity of the techniques, I'd look at things like the Battlemaster Fighter, Elements Monk, or Warlock Invocations as general guideline (I mean, I think you can afford to go a little more complex, but probably not to the level that they are now).
• Lastly, I know you said this subclass was supposed to favor mobility over defense compared to Bladesinger, but the wizard kinda needs some level of defense to melee. You only have 1d6 HP per level and light armor/Mage Armor, on a chassis that can't afford to raise Dexterity and Constitution too high (because you need to prioritize Intelligence and Wisdom), which makes you... probably too squishy to get close to monsters. If you want a mobile melee wizard without an emphasis on defense options, then that mobility should probably be your defensive option - you should probably be able to close in 30 feet, attack, and get at least 30 feet away, in the same turn.

So yeah, overall I like the idea, but I think the complexity should really be dialed back a few notches overall, and saved for where it's really needed.

Thanks for the feedback! I agree on many points, though are you sure about wizard being the most complex? I think sorcery points could give it a run for its money. I've made some changes accordingly, PEACH.
Changelog!

Spoiler: Soulweaver changes

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Familiar Shapes --> A Familiar Shape (lol)

The mass thing is just for flavor, really. Means they still have weight/are material.

Slice Thread Simplified - The Acrobatics thing was more a like a "how I would rule it if the landing space was occupied" detail, not necessary you right.

Afterimage lunge now travels 20ft and is an action or bonus action by default. Language cleaned up (you cannot go through walls).

Language changed to make clear that one can use a bonus action to summon or dismiss both Soulblades if they are 1-handed.

Soulblades now have modified critical strike behavior.

Soul Cross is now simplified and learned by default. It is also upgraded by Razored Soul the same way as Afterimage Lunge is.

Soulblade's Retribution is now simpler and called Soulblade's Doom.

Soulbind simplified.

Soul Sequester no longer limits you if you buff an ally.

Technique costs and spool size simplified. Now basically sorcery points.

Fuel Soul and Razored Soul adjusted for decreased threadcount.

Added Soul Phase, a defensive blink option.

Notes:
Yeah, any fighting style.

[Fnissalot]

Spoiler: Path of the Flowminder

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Assuming Barbarian since it's a Path and other things. I know, I'm picky about mentioning this....

Sense of Time and Space -
Does the reaction need to be limited to an amount of times per day? I know it's intelligence and all, and only during rage. I was just wondering.
The second paragraph could be simplified into "...you may apply your rage damage bonus to ranged weapon attacks"


The Third Law of Trajectories - Thanks for not making this better than the Arcane Archer. Although I would consider making it take a bonus action since you also get Advantage.

Immersed Perception - How does raging make you search more effectively? This seems like an edge case enough that it doesn't need to be done while raging. Just open it up for the barbarian to be an all the time thing.

Master of Causality - Powerwise this seems fine to me. Wording wise it needs to be cleaned up though. You don't need the raging in the first sentence since Sense of Time and Space only applies while raging.

The ranged throwing Barbarian is a niche that needs filling and I think this does a decent job of it. I look forward to seeing the flavor that explains the whys of things.

Thanks for the comments!
Added descriptive texts which mentions barbarians and updated some wordings as you mentioned them. Third law of trajectories was changed so that you can do a bonus action while raging to get advantage on the ricochet.

Sense of time and space is only limited to when you rage, not to rests in any other way.

Immersed perception is supposed to be thematic. You feel more perceptive and aware while being in the zone. It turns your rages into detective mode in modern video games.

[RickAsWritten]

Updated the Nilbog Patron. See Changelog

Spoiler: Changelog:

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• Rev:1
• Reduced damage reduction of Reversal of Fortune from 2 x Warlock level to 1 x Warlock level.
• Reduced range of Nilbogism aura from 60 feet to 30 feet. Added range increase to 14th level feature.
• Moved spell saving throws triggering Nilbogism to 14th level feature.
• Removed non-concentration boon from Greater Nilbogism.
• Removed extended charm for failed saves from Greater Nilbogism.
• Clarified Tasha’s casting in the Greater Nilbogism ability.
• Rev:2
• Changed Emanate Nilbogism to recharge on a Long Rest.
• Rev:3
• Added a goblin friendliness to Fear and Low Things. Lowly goblins would never dare to attack a Nilbog.
• Added a healing restriction to Nilbogism to better align with Nilbog statblock.
• Clarified that attack rolls cause Nilbogism to activate.
• Made several minor spelling and grammatical changes.

Spoiler: Nilbog Patron

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Interesting idea! Great shoutout to one of the weirdo monsters of old.

Honestly, I wouldn't mind just getting straight-up healing from reversal of fortune. As is though, it's good. One question: do the temporary hit points apply before or after you receive the reduced damage?

I love Greater Nilbogism. Sounds like a fun time. Can you have multiple targets laughing at once?

Overall solid, but I think it needs a social feature as well. Maybe the ability to turn a natural 1 on a charisma skill into a natural 20 x times per y? Could make for some hilarious RP. I'd be totally willing to lose Fear and Low Things for that.

Thanks! Temp hit points come after. I clarified it.
Only one Tasha's at a time, but if a creature saves and gets rid of it, you can just cast it again.
I considered a social feature, but decided to stick with Fear and Low Things. I added a new note that goblins will consider you a friendly until you hurt them. Stole the wording from the Gulthias Staff in Curse of Strahd.

Spoiler: Warlock Otherworldly Patron – The Nilbog

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First things first, I adore the Nilbog. So, I'm excited to see where this goes!

Emanate Nilbogism - I would flat out say that this requires concentration rather than the way you phrase it. When reading, I am not sure if I can have the aura and hex going at the same time or not. Also, when you say attack what does it apply for? Melee, Ranged, Spell Melee, Spell Ranged, AoE?

Greater Nilbogism - So how many versions of Tashas can you have going at once? Only 1 at a time, or can you have multiple since it's the same concentration as your aura?

Overall this is very solid and a great implementation of the idea. A small thing that may be worth considering is when you have your aura active, healing spells actually hurt you. That is one aspect of the Nilbog that you don't have represented in this subclass that could make it even more interesting.

Thanks for the feedback nickl! I ripped the phrasing for Emanate Nilbogism directly from the Trickery Cleric's Invoke Duplicity, so the concentration aspect should be well enough defined. I clarified what an attack was; good catch.
Defined the limits of the free Tasha's usage. It's meant to be only cast on one target, but is re-castable if the creature passes it's save.
I added the "no healing" bit. Thanks again.

[BerzerkerUnit]

Updated language on Invisible Fist Fighter. Minor tweaks too.

[sengmeng]

Feedback. I decided to create new posts, rather than add to my first feedbak post.

Spoiler: Monk: Way of the Telekinetic

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I try not to be too harsh with feedback, but I would not take this subclass as is. I don't know if it's underpowered, but it is underflavored. It does what it says it would do, so there's that, and it seems balanced, but I wouldn't be particularly interested. I like the shield feature, and the final one is flavorful, but I'd increase the damage. Maybe do allow the lower levels to do some in combat useful things? I do kind of like the Air Buffet too, but it's just fists at a distance, and running up to enemies isn't a problem for monks, so letting them do things at a distance doesn't help them that much. I'd like to see weapons made of telekinetic energy too, changing the damage type to something other than bludgeoning. I really hate to rag on you without suggestions to improve, but I got nothing else. He's certainly a telekinetic monk though.

Spoiler: Monk: Way of the Dreamweaver

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I like this, and I'm not really sure why. I don't think I would use it, though. It's certainly flavorful, and astral projection is attributed to the real world equivalent of monks, but it's missing a lot of combat utility. I like what's there, but information gathering and social manipulation are not going to fit every campaign. I'd suggest something more universally useful. Sorry I don't have anything super useful to suggest

Spoiler: Warlock Patron: Nilbog

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I like it. Bonus spells are good, features are fine. I'm confused as to why Emanate Nilbogism limits how you can be healed, but it's not a huge issue. I'd probably take this if I was inclined to play a Warlock; trickster is a natural fit for them that is sadly lacking.

[AdAstra]

Okay, I think I have an idea for the 17th level feature that keeps the power at an acceptable level but still has all the interesting bits:

Perfect Clarity
Starting at 17th level, your mind is as boundless and clear as a perfect, tranquil ocean, free from the influence of gods and mortals alike. You are always under the effects of the Mind Blank spell.

You can open your mind, allowing you to see things as they really are, at a cost. As an action, you may gain the effects of the True Seeing spell for an hour. Until that hour ends, you lose the effects of Mind Blank.

Also changed the main post to reflect this.

[sengmeng]

More feedback

Spoiler: Monk: Way of the Stilled Tide

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I like this. I'd like for it to exist in a campaign, but I don't know if I'd take it for my own character. On the other hand, I never feel like playing a straightforward monk; I usually dip a couple levels just to punch things and move fast, with no desire to roleplay a contemplative character. So it has good flavor, and it mixes fluff and mechanics into a reasonable fighting style. I especially like shatter the mind; creatures with low wisdom suffer for their brutishness, but you also can wreck wizards, as long as you guess who should be attacked with which version. Versatility is fun. Finally, Mind Blank is good and powerful, but I worry that it doesn't compare so favorably to the more offence oriented core subclasses. If anything, your subclass is too reasonable; it works, it's balanced, I wouldn't worry about it breaking the game, but I don't know if it would draw in all that many players.

Spoiler: Barbarian: Path of the Flowminder

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It seems really all over the place, like you want a cerebral investigative barbarian, but it doesn't have a true focus. I doubt I'd ever take this class. Not sure what else to say, and I'd really like to be somewhat more helpful than that. Maybe more defensive abilities? More use out of the Intelligence ability?

[AdAstra]

Okay, made one last change to the level 17 improvement to WRCTM. Now it’s a little more powerful against single targets, but still encourages you to leap into a horde of mooks and wear em down. Probably won’t make any more revisions after this

[Phhase]

Changes to Soulweaver!

-Codified the Soulblade into a weapon template.

-Added an ammo stipulation for a ranged soulblade.

-Slight change to summoning behavior.

-Techniques are now called Soul Arts

-Triggering Soulblade's Doom no longer counts as using a Soul Art that turn.

-Shared damage through Soulbind is no longer converted to Force/Psychic

-Dismissing Sequester Soul now requires no action.

-Razored Soul now adds 15ft per strand and allows you to move through spaces occupied by creatures freely.

-Weaver's Will now grants an extra Soul Art at 10th level

-New Soul Art: Soul Superposition. Allows you to blink away from attacks. Requires Concentration.

-New Soul Art: Soulfire. Allows you to pay a decent amount of Thought-Thread to convert a spell's damage to Force/Psychic.

-Provisionally, Soul Cross, Soulbind, Soulblade's Doom, Soul Parry, and Affix Soul no longer require the enemy to be within 30ft of you (Just Line of Sight). PEACH, is that too good? I wanted to support the possibility of a ranged Soulweaver (Though I did primarily design for melee).

Thoughts?

Addendum: Soulfire no longer costs a bonus action, no longer counts as using a Soul Art that turn, and counts as a Soulblade attack for the purposes of Arts like Soulblade's Doom. Soul Arts the require hitting with a Soulblade now also work if the enemy has been hit by a Soul Art.

My thoughts on other's changes:

Spoiler: Path of <<The Zone>>

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Nice. You've tidied this up well. I really like Third Law now. Do you like, slap the projectile away with your hand? Or are you required to have some sort of deflector like a Gauntlet or a Shield? That might be neat for flavor, but not required imo.

I am become Attack of Opportunity: The Class.

Spoiler: Invisible Fist

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Preface, add some formatting please, just for ease of reading.

Mind Over Matter: A Fighter version of the Arcane Trickster thing. Interesting. It's got a LOT of power at level 3, if I'm looking at it right. It's flexible too, which I really like. Could the hands operate a Magic Item for you as a bonus action, such as a Decanter of Endless Water? I love the image of a guy with a rifle, with several other rifles floating in the air beside him. One man fusillade!

If you attack the enemy with a mage hand that is behind them while you attack from the opposite side, can you flank with yourself?

If a weapon requires ammunition, but is 1-handed, can a hand fire it alone (albeit once)?

Ballistics: Does what it needs to. Good enough.

Applied Thought: Interesting Jack of All Trades application! I think it fits, given the high flexibility already endemic here.

Telekinetic Smite: To clarify, using this ability prevents you from also attacking via hands, right? I think it could stand to be a bit better. Perhaps add knockback, and limit it to (Stat modifier) times per long rest?

Kineticist: Not bad! I like the short rest cooldown, though I can't speak to the power level.

All in all, good work! I'll admit, I went in thinking I wouldn't like it, but the sheer flexibility you're offering here makes me actually want to try playing it.

Spoiler: Telekinetic Changes

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Looks good! Much tidier.

Fling Aside is pretty funny, I like it. I haven't seen quite that sort of ability before.

Spoiler: Dreamwalker

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Just to clarify, if your dreamself is reduced to 0, your body is too, right? BUT, are you stable?

Huh. Interesting what you've done here. It's basically scouting: the Subclass. I wonder what it would be like played to max potential. It would be interesting to watch, for sure.

Spoiler: Nilbog

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Nice, much sleeker.

Just to clarify, "Cannot be healed" also means "Cannot receive temporary hitpoints", right?

You've created a really weird and kooky tank subclass here. I like it.

Spoiler: Stilled Tide

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Perfect Clarity is just right now, I like it.

Mindfulness still befuddles me a little. The subclass reads as Int-focused...although I know Monk's secondary stat is Wis...huh. I guess that's why? I don't know. I guess it makes mechanical sense, to avoid being MAD, but something in my head just kind of doesn't get it flavor-wise. Not saying it's bad, just a little odd to me.

Otherwise, looks good! This is another subclass that I'm really curious how it would look in action.

Spoiler: Doll

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Is this a Bloodborne reference? Or something else? Curious. Needs a smidge more fluff.

Applying metamagic to a weapon, interesting....would you consider allowing the use of Energy Substitution (Or whatever it's called, the Class Variant metamagics) on the bow? And why no Extra attack? you'd be multiclassing anyway.

I like the mechanic of "Bow Spells". Perhaps I could've used that concept. Guess I like secondary resources too much.

I find it funny that Brodcast is telepathy but you need to shoot the message into their head.

Blackout seems really good. Like, REALLY good, especially for requiring a 1st level slot. Nightmare Invasion is likewise really good, but more balanced since it allows more saving throws. Odd mix of spells. Good, but perhaps there could stand to be a few more.

Occupied Mind is funny. I really wonder how the backlash would be fluffed. Could be either really funny, or really spooky. Otherwise, solid.

Splitting Shot is one of those game-changers that operate by virtue of a simple dash of flexibility. My favorite. Potentially quite powerful.

[AdAstra]

Okay I've been lacking on the feedback, but now seems like a pretty good time since a lot of early things have been ironed out.

Spoiler: Invisible Fist

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Being able to create up to four hands, each providing +1 AC, for +5 total when one is holding a shield, seems a little bit out there (unless the hands are not meant to stack). Overall it's also a lot of text for one ability.

The 7th level ability seems a a little...redundant? It's pretty weak, and you already have plenty of ranged attack options from weapons and your mage hands.

10th is non-combat and kinda situational, but pretty neat.

15th level is a rather strong, but considering the utter lack of combat features at 7 and 10 I doubt it'll throw anything off too badly.

18th is definitely thematic, but probably trends on the weak side. One 5th level spell per long rest won't break anything for sure.


Overall, this feels a little weirdly structured. Rather than an even mix of combat and non-combat tools, you have a very powerful thing at the beginning (pretty par for the course for fighter though), then nothing of significant value until 15th level. The interesting abilities are mostly too weak or situational to be used often, while the strong abilities are extremely boring (extra AC, extra weapon damage). The theme however, is very strong, and the primary mechanic is very interesting apart from the AC

Spoiler: Way of the Telekinetic

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Neat theme, similar to the first, but telekinetic abilities are always welcome in my book.

3rd level feels kinda just like a worse version of the Sun Soul Monk's ability. It has more range, but extra attack doesn't allow you to make two attacks with it, and it lacks a Flurry of Blows-style ability. At the very least you should allow it to replace all of your attacks in the Attack action. One ranged attack and one melee attack don't mix, since a hostile creature within 5 feet gives disadvantage on ranged attacks.

The weight and speed limits on telekinesis should prevent anything too ridiculous. Fun ability.

Kinetic Shield seems powerful, but not unduly so, just enough to feel awesome to use. Now you have a reaction to mitigate most ranged damage, when combined with Deflect Missiles.

Flight at 11th level is earlier than usual, but not early enough to be of any concern. Also fun, thematic, and useful

This ability seems a little confusing. If you spend a ki point to keep the grapple going, can you drag/damage them next turn? Does it cost a third ki point or can you just do it?

The 17th level ability seems a little weird/strong to have as an at-will ability

Overall, neat theme and interesting mechanics, but the wording and balance needs a little cleaning up

Spoiler: Way of the Dreamwalker

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A lot of very neat abilities, but very few can be applied to non-RP situations. For RP, it's kinda, too strong? You have a bunch of different ways to mess with people. Interesting, but definitely not something I would want in a campaign

Spoiler: The Nilbog

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Very fun, doesn't seem out of wack balance-wise, an excellent subclass that I'd love to see played.

Spoiler: Path of the Flowminder

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Very neat theme, but seems rather strong for an archer build. Maybe restrict the bonus damage to strength-based ranged attacks? Otherwise six-seven levels in this makes for a very powerful multiclass with Rogue and maybe a splash of Fighter. The pseudo-Shield, rage bonus to ranged attacks, rerolling attacks, it's all a bit much.

Spoiler: Jedi

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Feels odd that you get force powers, then a lightsaber only at level 7, but I can see the reasoning balance-wise.
Due to some of the powers (Guided Strike and Jedi Premonition are standouts), this ends up feeling equal to the battlemaster, which is already a frontloaded subclass, at early levels, while gaining many more things at higher levels.

The 7th level ability allows you to use GWM and/or PAM with Dex and even sneak attack. A Jedi/Rogue with a Glaive and PAM could get easy reaction Sneak Attacks and stay out of range of many foes.

At 10th level you get dex save proficiency, initiative proficiency, and three skill proficiencies that you get to use Wisdom with.

It probably should be reined in a good bit

Spoiler: Soulweaver

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Previous criticism still stands imo. There's nothing here that would suggest that this should be a wizard subclass, and it fails to make the wizard into an adequate melee combatant. It would also be rather overtuned if it wasn't attached to such a fragile chassis with frequently better uses for its actions and a different primary ability score. It runs into the problem that most gish subclasses have, an excess of features and power that still fails to actually facilitate a melee playstyle.

Spoiler: Doll

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I'm not sure how the bow and the Doll theme intersect? Is it the strings? A play on the clothing item? Intriguing flavor though.

I assume that the Mind Bow prevents you from using non-cantrip spells with your action? The fact that it's treated as a Quickened spell would suggest that it does. If it does, it's definitely fine balance-wise.

I like the spell-like abilities with the Mind Bow, though concentration-free Hold Monster (that also works on undead) that deals damage and exhaustion seems very strong.

[sleepyhead]

Spoiler: Doll

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I'm not sure how the bow and the Doll theme intersect? Is it the strings? A play on the clothing item? Intriguing flavor though.

I assume that the Mind Bow prevents you from using non-cantrip spells with your action? The fact that it's treated as a Quickened spell would suggest that it does. If it does, it's definitely fine balance-wise.

I like the spell-like abilities with the Mind Bow, though concentration-free Hold Monster (that also works on undead) that deals damage and exhaustion seems very strong.

The bow is a reference to something else that I am basing this concept around. I might end up changing it but it seems fine for now. I'll see what I can do about the concentration freeness of the Mind Pierce

Spoiler: Doll

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Is this a Bloodborne reference? Or something else? Curious. Needs a smidge more fluff.

Applying metamagic to a weapon, interesting....would you consider allowing the use of Energy Substitution (Or whatever it's called, the Class Variant metamagics) on the bow? And why no Extra attack? you'd be multiclassing anyway.

I like the mechanic of "Bow Spells". Perhaps I could've used that concept. Guess I like secondary resources too much.

I find it funny that Brodcast is telepathy but you need to shoot the message into their head.

Blackout seems really good. Like, REALLY good, especially for requiring a 1st level slot. Nightmare Invasion is likewise really good, but more balanced since it allows more saving throws. Odd mix of spells. Good, but perhaps there could stand to be a few more.

Occupied Mind is funny. I really wonder how the backlash would be fluffed. Could be either really funny, or really spooky. Otherwise, solid.

Splitting Shot is one of those game-changers that operate by virtue of a simple dash of flexibility. My favorite. Potentially quite powerful.

Nope not a Bloodborne reference but good guess. I'll try to work on the fluff.
The reason you can't use the Extra Attack feature with it is because the damage of the bow scales with you to help make up for your sorcereryness, as nickl_2000 brought up.

This is especially rife for abuse from multiclassing (currently by RAW, a Doll Sorcerer 1/Fighter 19 gets 3 attacks at 4d8 + dex each round).

Blackout is just a single target sleep spell and gives just as many saves as Nightmare Invasion, so I'm not really seeing the issue. I'm going to try to add more effects.

---

So I am thinking of making some changes and would like some input of these ideas. So I think that dropping the additional spells and swapping out the Mind Pierce ability would be a good thing, I really helps getting the subclass going right from the start and doesn't make you wait until 6th level to get the feeling of the subclass in. This would also allow me to steal some Mind Pierce ideas from the spell list. Also, maybe adding your CHA mod to the damage of the Mind Bow would be a good thing to give it some edge over just using firebolt (even though the bow is still doing 1d8 physic damage.)

[nickl_2000]

Touched up flavour on my monk to make sure I got that changed before the end of the contest.

[AdAstra]

Actually, reading back on this, I agree more with Phhase in regards to the Doll's Blackout. Unlike Sleep, there's no HP limit, and it's applied with a bonus action, even if it does prevent using levelled spells. Unconsciousness means a free crit from the party rogue if no one wakes them up in time. The primary thing that keeps Sleep from being too powerful past the early levels is the HP-gate mechanic, which keeps it from knocking out pretty much all full health creatures above CR 1/2 without using a higher-level spell slot. Blackout uses a saving throw instead, making it far more effective against tougher creatures.

[MoleMage]

It's time for voting already and I lost track of it. That's alright, your thread for voting is here!

http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showt...9#post24290809

Voting is open until December 15th. After that there will be a new contest. Good Luck!