Of Emperors and Presidents IC

[Elektro]

Recent Indian Press has Reached Pinnacle of Humor
The recent Indian editorial criticizing the lack of humor in Chinese press has been widely acclaimed throughout Zhongguo (the Middle Kingdom) as a masterpiece of humor writing. Hunan peasant farmer Sun Tao said between fits of laughter, "The witty repartee and creatively from that anonymous Indian writer was the funniest I have ever seen. At least it would be so if I could read."

China Struggles to Respond: Is There a Funny Gap?
-- by Li Yat-sen

As China wipes the tears of laughter from its eyes, the political fallout has just begun to settle in Peking. Many Chinese are asking how our government could allow such a dangerous imbalance in funniness to develop between China and a hostile India.

We must look at this from a military point of view. I mean, suppose the Indians stash away some humorous anecdote? They could then use it to take over! In fact, they might try an immediate sneak attack to take over our humor! It would be extremely naive of us to believe these developments will cause any change in expansionist Indian policy. We must be increasingly on the alert to prevent them from taking over other sources of humor, in order to prevent them from laughing more prodigiously than we do, thus knocking us out with superior funniness! Emperor, we must not allow a funny gap!

OoC: It'd would be easier to have a more humorous press if mine wasn't the only one that posts with some regularity. The reason those old games were so funny was that everyone was posting frequently.

[viggo]

quit having nineteen supply centers and i might

[thewamp]

OoC: It'd would be easier to have a more humorous press if mine wasn't the only one that posts with some regularity. The reason those old games were so funny was that everyone was posting frequently.

I know, but the key to funny news is not to write for the sake of getting something written, but to write for the sake of writing a funny idea.

But I'm not complaining. Just making fun of you, in a purely sporting way.

[Moody the Wise]

Personally, I've exhausted most of my good jokes. Here goes nothing ...

Turkey Stuffed; Italians, Austrians Delight

England Headed for Great Tea Party In the Sky

Europe Goes Crazy Over Brest

First the French, then the Germans, and now we Italians. Yes, it seems as though the nations of Europe have an unhealthy obsession with Brest: we just can't keep our hands off of it. This has sparked great controversy over which nation has had the best Brest. Some long for the glory days of the French Brest, when the city was surrounded by thick stands of bushes. Others think fondly of the Brest of Germany, when the city was literally full of seamen. However, most citizens of the city welcome the new Italian Brest, with the improved support it offers. There's just something about a Brest you can hold on to. Of course, the military advantages cannot be overlooked: the ability of our great nation to hold onto Brest will result in an entire army being erected this Winter.

[J_Muller]

Retreats!


Builds Due Sunday, December 9th, at 10:00 EST
Austria: 1 Build
China: 3 Builds
England: 1 Disband
France: Nothing
Germany: 1 Disband
India: 1 Disband
Italy: 3 Builds
Japan: 3 Disbands
Russia: 1 Disband
Turkey: 1 Build

[Highwarlord]

Japanese Armies Forced to Return Home; Military Advisors Too Sad to Comment
Humorists Flood Out of Japan to America to Avoid Chinese Wrath

[Maldiem]

European Love Triangle!

Italy took Germany's Brest in hand, while France looked on and gained Ire. Odd that Germany allowed Italy to invade its Brest region, as Italy quite clearly also has Gas. Word is, Italy might be taking Germany to its Den, if you know what we mean. Italy might also bring Austria, who has promised to involve bud (Austria isn't big on Light beer) and bring some Rum. Watch out, you two-- I heard Germany has Mos, which is highly contagious.

[Moody the Wise]

European Love Triangle!

Italy took Germany's Brest in hand, while France looked on and gained Ire. Odd that Germany allowed Italy to invade its Brest region, as Italy quite clearly also has Gas. Word is, Italy might be taking Germany to its Den, if you know what we mean. Italy might also bring Austria, who has promised to involve bud (Austria isn't big on Light beer) and bring some Rum. Watch out, you two-- I heard Germany has Mos, which is highly contagious.

Well-played, sir.

[viggo]

Austrian Bud is the Plant, Not the Horrible American Beer

[Elektro]

Hong Kong Morning Post

All These Puns Cause China to Let Out a Sai

Article Causes Strange Desire for China to Reach Out and Sieze Italy's Brest

I know, but the key to funny news is not to write for the sake of getting something written, but to write for the sake of writing a funny idea.

But I'm not complaining. Just making fun of you, in a purely sporting way.

Fair enough. I'm not the greatest at humor, so I like to play it straight. And in a purely sporting way, I haven't seen too many funny posts from you now that I've started to occupy your home centers.

[GrandDukeJerot]

France Watches Italian-German Broo-ha-ha with derision

As Germany looses its Brest to Italian advances, France wonders whether in revenge Germany will get Gas on the way to the Spa.

[GrandDukeJerot]

Sorry for the double post, but what is the deelie-oh? Because there hasn't been an update from muller in about a week.

[J_Muller]

Sorry for the double post, but what is the deelie-oh? Because there hasn't been an update from muller in about a week.

I wish I had an explanation for that, but I don't.

Three people have yet to submit their builds/disbands, though.

24 hour warning from now for getting those in, guys.

EDIT: Thinking about it, Viggo told me over IM but I forgot to write it down and then forgot what the build was. Could you submit that via PM, please?

So TWO people who haven't sent in builds.

[viggo]

Austrian Leader ****-Canned Drunk

edit: thirty minute warning. i'm calling it. build/disbands are vital this season.

[Highwarlord]

Mmm any updately update?

[J_Muller]

Update!


Sorry for the delay guys.

Spring 1906 Orders Due Thursday at 10:00 EST

[thewamp]

In my PM that gave my retreats, I also sent my disband...
cey should have been disbanded, instead of the east asian one.

[Moody the Wise]

In my PM that gave my retreats, I also sent my disband...
cey should have been disbanded, instead of the east asian one.

Good ... I was worrying you had made some mistake or decided to be dumb. Glad that's not the case.

[J_Muller]

In my PM that gave my retreats, I also sent my disband...
cey should have been disbanded, instead of the east asian one.

Oops.

My mistake, guys. I'll put up a fixed map soon.

In the meantime, get those orders in!

[J_Muller]

Oops.

My mistake, guys. I'll put up a fixed map soon.

In the meantime, get those builds in!

Um, orders. I meant orders.

Get them in, though.

[Vexen]

I got orders in, though I may change them again, who knows. I will be checking back in tomorrow and perhaps on thursday. But then I am on Vacation until January 1st. If moves have not been adjucated by then I may come to my senses and change my orders again. In the mean time, happy christmas, and new year, or whatever other december holidays you may be celebrating.

Since you all seem so fond of puns, here is a little yuletide anecdote for you:

As the world leaders sit around the table in switzerland discussing the current world affairs over a nice christmas dinner, the representitive from Germany suddenly interjected; "Hey, what happened to the Turkey?"
The Austrian representitive quickly responded, "Well, I am Hungary, what did you expect?"

[J_Muller]

Spoiler

Show

I'm still here, but kind of off as far as getting these done on any sort of schedule is concerned, obviously.

[Elektro]

Since I'm the only one with a retreat and it's pretty obvious what I'm going to do, I'll just order it here:

A cal retreats to dec (A cal -> dec)

Now everyone will have plenty of time to scheme/plan.

[Vexen]

is anybody there?

[Maldiem]

The Russian Government-in-hiding is alive and well.

[Elektro]

I'm here as well. Just waiting for the next deadline.

[Moody the Wise]

I'm still here, much to your dismay I am sure, Vexen.

[viggo]

I'm here as well. Just waiting for the next deadline.

liez!!!!!!1111111111oneoneoneuno

[Highwarlord]

Still alive...

[Vexen]

oh, good somebody besides Russia and Italy.

By the Way, Russia you don't really need to submit orders anymore. Seriously, do you really want to end up like the French, sustaining your existence by moving in to another nation?