Respectful term for nonbinary people and people of unknown gender?

[Maloney]

As in Ma'am/Madam and Sir. What's an alternative if you don't know somebody's gender or they're non-binary?

[Peelee]

Could always go the Andre the Giant route and use "boss." Thay favors more casual conversation, though.

[Frozen_Feet]

Apparently, Mx., Misc. and Ind. have been around since 1970, just not in wide common use.

[ve4grm]

Apparently, Mx., Misc. and Ind. have been around since 1970, just not in wide common use.

That's fine when addressing them by name, but sir/madam is used to get someone's attention, and/or in place of their name. That said, from the same Wikipedia article"

Some honorifics act as complete replacements for a name, as "Sir" or "Ma'am", or "Your Honor".

Maybe go with "Your Honor"?

[Grey_Wolf_c]

Comrade
[/kidding]
Grey Wolf

[Comrade]

Comrade
[/kidding]
Grey Wolf

I have mixed feelings about this.

[Tvtyrant]

Citizen!

This is a good argument to bring back thou.

[darkrose50]

There was a comic in an older version of CHAPMIONS where there was an elf (?) saying "Greetings infidel!" . . . it always made me laugh.

I vote to greet everyone with "Greetings infidel!"

[Red Fel]

I'm partial to Peasant!, myself.

Or you could follow this guy's example:


To be fair, this is how I address everybody. I try not to treat someone differently just because they're nonbinary or what-have-you. People are people.

[Jon_Dahl]

Pick any of these seven options between 0:56-1:34.

[JNAProductions]

As in Ma'am/Madam and Sir. What's an alternative if you don't know somebody's gender or they're non-binary?

If you KNOW they're non-binary, you probably know them and don't have to that formal. (If you do have a way of telling if someone's non-binary without knowing them well enough to at least have their name, by all means, share.)

If you just don't know their gender, use Ma'am or Sir as your best guess, and if you guess wrong, apologize.

If you deal with people who will explode if you get their gender wrong (I've worked customer service, but I've been lucky that the few times I've misaddressed someone, I just apologize and they're fine) try something that doesn't rely on gender? Just a basic "Excuse me, could I pass through here?" for instance.

[Rynjin]

"Hey, you" works with anyone.

[Algeh]

If you KNOW they're non-binary, you probably know them and don't have to that formal. (If you do have a way of telling if someone's non-binary without knowing them well enough to at least have their name, by all means, share.)

If you just don't know their gender, use Ma'am or Sir as your best guess, and if you guess wrong, apologize.

If you deal with people who will explode if you get their gender wrong (I've worked customer service, but I've been lucky that the few times I've misaddressed someone, I just apologize and they're fine) try something that doesn't rely on gender? Just a basic "Excuse me, could I pass through here?" for instance.

There are also generic group formal salutation situations, like saying "ladies and gentlemen" as part of an intro on stage, where it would be nice to be able to be inclusive, particularly if you know darn good and well that there are some non-binary folks in the audience. This came up at a concert series I went to earlier this year, where the Toast was trying to find some inclusive way to introduce each musician and clearly the script she'd been using historically included something like "ladies and gentlemen, I present..." but at least one of the other performers (sitting in the front row of the audience and known to the Toast) and presumably a non-zero chunk of the rest of the audience were non-binary so it wasn't as inclusive of a phrase and she tried out various alternates throughout the weekend to see if she could find something that fit better.

[Hand_of_Vecna]

According to the U.S Military; Sir is gender neutral.

[Themrys]

If you KNOW they're non-binary, you probably know them and don't have to that formal.

This. You will likely only encounter people who wear a nametag with their pronouns on it in informal settings, so "Hey you" is perfectly adequate.

In customer service, you are most likely to mainly encounter people who will be offended at being called any terms other than those that correspond to their sex. If you encounter androgynous people whose sex is really impossible to tell, just guess and apologize if needed.

If you suspect someone might have a gender identity and fear they might not like you adressing them by sex-based pronouns ... I and my short-haired, trousers-wearing makeup-free female friends also tolerate being adressed as "Your Grace", "Your Honor" "Your Highness" or "Serenity", although we might chuckle a bit. We would, however, be very hurt if you used terms that by their very nature imply you aren't sure that we are female just because we don't perform femininity.

Reasonable people won't mind honest mistakes, but intentionally pretending that you cannot see that a woman who makes no attempt at hiding her femaleness is female is like telling her she looks like a man. It's an insult.
Calling a short-haired woman "sir" can be a honest mistake by an overworked customer service person, looking at her closely and deciding she is female but not quite feminine enough to be deserving of a "madam" will not go over so well.

Even calling the prime minister of a foreign country "hey you" would be better than that.

@Algeh: "Dear humans" seems to be rather popular recently, but it sounds a bit like the speaker is an alien or robot. Perhaps it is a sign of the robot apocalypse drawing near.

[Grek]

If they have specified what to use, use that.

If they haven't indicated what to use, use their job title if practical: Dean, Mayor, Senator, CEO, etc.

If a job title isn't available, consider Sir - it's somewhat gender neutral in modern parlance.

If Sir isn't appropriate, omit titles for everyone involved, but be extra polite/welcoming/formal/hospitable elsewhere.

[Vinyadan]

"Your Lordship".

Or is that masculine?

Go with "Highness", that should be all right. Or "Excellency".

[dps]

"Hey, you!"

[Vinyadan]

On a more serious note, I think someone some time ago talked about a public transportation system that changed its greeting from "Good day, Ladies and Gentlemen" to "Hello, Everyone". It's not useful as a singular, though, and it sounds way, way more colloquial, at least to me.

[shawnhcorey]

On a more serious note, I think someone some time ago talked about a public transportation system that changed its greeting from "Good day, Ladies and Gentlemen" to "Hello, Everyone". It's not useful as a singular, though, and it sounds way, way more colloquial, at least to me.

I heard gentlefolk used.

[Grey_Wolf_c]

Through process this morning as I caught up to the thread:

"Oh, maybe a portmanteau? Good morning Sir-madam... Sadam? Yeah, that's not going to work"

Grey Wolf

[LaZodiac]

Have we considered just not saying anything?

Like, you can just say "Excuse me" and leave it at that. You don't have to call them sir or ma'am or anything, regardless of their preferred pronouns, cause 90% of the time if you're talking to someone they know you're talking to them so you don't have to constantly reiterate who they are to you.

"Hello" is just as polite as "hello sir", personally.

[Grey_Wolf_c]

Have we considered just not saying anything?

Like, you can just say "Excuse me" and leave it at that. You don't have to call them sir or ma'am or anything, regardless of their preferred pronouns, cause 90% of the time if you're talking to someone they know you're talking to them so you don't have to constantly reiterate who they are to you.

"Hello" is just as polite as "hello sir", personally.

Which is all well and good until the corporation you work for sets guidelines for how to address customers that require you to use a honorific.

I suppose one could argue that it is then on the corporation to include in the guidelines how to deal with this scenario, but expecting corporations to lead on this is a bit too optimistic, especially if the agreed-upon solution doesn't exist in advance.

Grey Wolf

[Peelee]

Which is all well and good until the corporation you work for sets guidelines for how to address customers that require you to use a honorific.

I suppose one could argue that it is then on the corporation to include in the guidelines how to deal with this scenario, but expecting corporations to lead on this is a bit too optimistic, especially if the agreed-upon solution doesn't exist in advance.

Grey Wolf

In which case Sadam is likely to be a better option that what the corporation mandates.

[Themrys]

I heard gentlefolk used.

That sounds like a species description. Perhaps it is because I only know -folk as ending from "lizardfolk" but still.

... actually, why not "Fair Folk"? That sounds like elves, but elves are often androgynous, so that fits, right?

@Grey Wolf: But you won't know that someone identifies as nonbinary unless you personally know them, anyway. Or if they complain about you calling them sir or madam. But in that case, they can just tell you what honorifics they would prefer.

... okay, I suppose if someone walks into the shop wearing a badge telling you what their ponouns are, you will have to resort to "Sadam". I share the suspicion that it is probably better than what the corporation would mandate, so ...

[shawnhcorey]

That sounds like a species description. Perhaps it is because I only know -folk as ending from "lizardfolk" but still.

... actually, why not "Fair Folk"? That sounds like elves, but elves are often androgynous, so that fits, right?

I suppose you could call them gentry instead.

[Telonius]

I have an easy go-to on the job: "Doctor." I work at a science journal, so everybody we communicate with is a PhD until proven otherwise.

[Peelee]

I have an easy go-to on the job: "Doctor." I work at a science journal, so everybody we communicate with is a PhD until proven otherwise.

Are you Chevy Chase or Dan Aykroyd?

[Vinyadan]

Are you Chevy Chase or Dan Aykroyd?

In The Blood Of A Thousand Virgins Rises Chevy Chase!

[Ravens_cry]

It's rather archaic, but I like the term 'gentle' and 'gentles'. It has no implications of gender while still sounding formal enough for certain uses, unlike, say, 'folks'.