The Order of the Stick: Utterly Dwarfed
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  1. - Top - End - #211
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    ElfRangerGuy

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    Default Re: Wish Granting on a Budget

    A quick internet search gives the answer here .

    I wish to be able to lift an M1 Abrams tank.
    Clacks-Overhead: GNU Terry Pratchett

    "Magic can turn a frog into a prince. Science can turn a frog into a Ph.D. and you still have the frog you started with." Terry Pratchett
    "I will not yield to evil, unless she's cute."

  2. - Top - End - #212
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

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    Default Re: Wish Granting on a Budget

    Here are the keys to one, but I doubt you'll get far. The authorities won't have much trouble finding a lifted4a tank.

    I wish that farts held in didn't force air back through my digestive system until they came back as horrifying burps.
    Leo, Ajax, Deshy, Cutty.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  3. - Top - End - #213
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Anonymouswizard's Avatar

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    Default Re: Wish Granting on a Budget

    Here's a bag to hold them in instead.

    I wish for a book of jokes.
    Snazzy avatar (now back! ) by Honest Tiefling.

    RIP Laser-Snail, may you live on in our hearts forever.

    Spoiler: playground quotes
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

  4. - Top - End - #214
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

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    Default Re: Wish Granting on a Budget

    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard View Post
    I wish for a book of jokes.
    I'm afraid this pen and notebook are the best I can do for you.

    I wish for a tuxedo.
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.

    [+]

  5. - Top - End - #215
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Imp

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    Default Re: Wish Granting on a Budget

    Well, I can give you this penguin and a razor blade. The rest is up to you.

    I wish for a wish granting engine.
    This is a boring signature.
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES
    EXPLODED RUNES
    PICTURE OF A CAT
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES

  6. - Top - End - #216
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

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    Jul 2008

    Default Re: Wish Granting on a Budget

    Oh, so granted! It'll grant any wish, provided that wish is to convert a reasonable amount of stored chemical energy into kinetic energy - say, to move an appropriately-sized and -maintained motorbike onto which it is correctly installed.

    I wish that the package I already ordered will arrive soon.
    Leo, Ajax, Deshy, Cutty.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  7. - Top - End - #217
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

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    Default Re: Wish Granting on a Budget

    Finally! A wish where I don't actually have to do anything, soon being relative and all that. That being said, can you spare ten bucks?

    Ten bucks? Please?
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.

    [+]

  8. - Top - End - #218
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Xihirli's Avatar

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    Jan 2015
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    Astral Plane
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    Default Re: Wish Granting on a Budget

    I have monopoly money.
    Not real monopoly money, obviously.

    I wish for 2 gps.
    Spoiler: Quotes
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zar Peter View Post
    Supagoof took the most blows and incidentally took exactly the same damage Xihirli inflicted.
    Quote Originally Posted by Silent_Interim View Post
    Xihirli: Being a better target since 2015.
    Quote Originally Posted by Logic View Post
    I'm good with eliminating Xihirli. I'm not sure how she has managed to live as long as she has.
    Quote Originally Posted by BasketOfPuppies View Post
    Wow I missed a lot today. So, kill Xihirli?
    Quote Originally Posted by Iceseer View Post
    I really wanted what Xihirli said to be true though.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ramsus View Post
    That was a lot of awesome backstabbing.
    Quote Originally Posted by flat_footed View Post
    I still prefer to see you as the dagger hanging over us all, Xi.

  9. - Top - End - #219
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Anonymouswizard's Avatar

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    Default Re: Wish Granting on a Budget

    Here's a coupon for 50% off replacement Scrabble tiles.

    I wish for an infinite number of monkeys using a typewriter.
    Snazzy avatar (now back! ) by Honest Tiefling.

    RIP Laser-Snail, may you live on in our hearts forever.

    Spoiler: playground quotes
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

  10. - Top - End - #220
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

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    Default Re: Wish Granting on a Budget

    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard View Post
    Here's a coupon for 50% off replacement Scrabble tiles.

    I wish for an infinite number of monkeys using a typewriter.
    Sorry, all I've got for you is the writing staff for the latest Adam Sandler movie.


    I wish for a cure for my cold.
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.

    [+]

  11. - Top - End - #221
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    ElfRangerGuy

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    Default Re: Wish Granting on a Budget

    Sure, here's a cup of tea with honey and lemon in it. I've heard that this helps against a cold.

    I wish for a good night sleep.
    Clacks-Overhead: GNU Terry Pratchett

    "Magic can turn a frog into a prince. Science can turn a frog into a Ph.D. and you still have the frog you started with." Terry Pratchett
    "I will not yield to evil, unless she's cute."

  12. - Top - End - #222
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

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    Default Re: Wish Granting on a Budget

    *holds up club* Okay, but I'm gonna need you to hold still.

    ...Ooh.

    I wish I knew how to administer first aid.
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.

    [+]

  13. - Top - End - #223
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Crisis21's Avatar

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    Default Re: Wish Granting on a Budget

    ...I can show you how to correctly apply a band-aid.


    I wish farothel could get expert medical assistance.
    Wind & Sound Elemental Eric Greenhilt avatar by Akrim.elf
    Bodyguard in Lix's Harem
    Ninja-Pirate of BvS's Privateer village! Come and join me!
    My Extended Signature
    My Pokemon!

  14. - Top - End - #224
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

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    Jul 2008

    Default Re: Wish Granting on a Budget

    Donít worry! Iíll fix... oh, huh, Iím out of ammo.

    I, uh, wish for some healing bullets?
    Leo, Ajax, Deshy, Cutty.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  15. - Top - End - #225
    Barbarian in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2018

    Default Re: Wish Granting on a Budget

    Quote Originally Posted by Dr.Gunsforhands View Post
    I, uh, wish for some healing bullets?
    Here's rubbing alcohol. Coat your bullets in them, and they might somehow do some good.

    I roll to warn everyone Dr.Gunsforhands bullets probably won't heal you.

  16. - Top - End - #226
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

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    Default Re: Wish Granting on a Budget

    I'm gonna assume there's a wish in there somewhere... anyway, here's a newspaper rolled into a cone.

    I wish for some amnesia dust so we can forget our poor fellow forumite's head trauma and subsequent shooting.
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.

    [+]

  17. - Top - End - #227
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Anonymouswizard's Avatar

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    Oct 2009
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    In my library

    Default Re: Wish Granting on a Budget

    Well no anemsia dust, but I can refashion Ironsmith's club into a forgetting stick. One whack to take away, another to return, right?

    I wish that the wish granters would stop harming their clients.
    Snazzy avatar (now back! ) by Honest Tiefling.

    RIP Laser-Snail, may you live on in our hearts forever.

    Spoiler: playground quotes
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

  18. - Top - End - #228
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

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    Default Re: Wish Granting on a Budget

    Sorry, what did you say? This concussion is doing horrible things to my short-term memory.
    Hm? Oh, right. Not hurting our clients.
    Well. Best I can do for you is not helping them. That's cheaper, right?

    I wish for some aspirin.
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.

    [+]

  19. - Top - End - #229
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    bc56's Avatar

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    Sector ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha
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    Default Re: Wish Granting on a Budget

    Well, I don't have any aspirin, but I've heard water is good for headaches. Here you go.

    I wish for a refreshing glass of lemonade.
    Awesome avatar (Kothar, paladin of Tlacua) by Linkele!

    Quote Originally Posted by William Shakespeare, King Lear, IV.i.46
    'Tis the time's plague, when madmen lead the blind.
    My Nexus characters

  20. - Top - End - #230
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Crisis21's Avatar

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    Default Re: Wish Granting on a Budget

    Well, I'm out of ice and the glass has been sitting out in the sun for a while, but it's still lemonade.


    I wish for a harem of beautiful women.
    Wind & Sound Elemental Eric Greenhilt avatar by Akrim.elf
    Bodyguard in Lix's Harem
    Ninja-Pirate of BvS's Privateer village! Come and join me!
    My Extended Signature
    My Pokemon!

  21. - Top - End - #231
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Anonymouswizard's Avatar

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    Default Re: Wish Granting on a Budget

    Well, it's not a harem, but the local massage parlor has agreed to let you stay the night. Just remember the secret sign.

    I wish I wasn't so tired.
    Snazzy avatar (now back! ) by Honest Tiefling.

    RIP Laser-Snail, may you live on in our hearts forever.

    Spoiler: playground quotes
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

  22. - Top - End - #232
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

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    Default Re: Wish Granting on a Budget

    *foghorns*

    Did that do it?

    ...Ah goddammit, not again.

    I wish I knew an otolaryngologist.
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.

    [+]

  23. - Top - End - #233
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

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    Jul 2008

    Default Re: Wish Granting on a Budget

    Don't worry! These sterilized bullets are the perfect thing for an emergency tracheotomy!

    I wish to be less competitive.
    Leo, Ajax, Deshy, Cutty.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  24. - Top - End - #234
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

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    Default Re: Wish Granting on a Budget

    Quote Originally Posted by Dr.Gunsforhands View Post
    I wish to be less competitive.
    Apart from your obsession with Weekly Bingo Night, you can take or leave competitiveness. Probably. You can quit anytime you want...sure, you can...

    I wish to always be able to make the right decisions in life.
    Last edited by CyberiadQueen; 2019-02-11 at 03:19 AM.
    Love is the ultimate trip. --Micky Dolenz

    Rest in Peace, Peter Tork
    February 13, 1942-February 21, 2019
    Men are Mortal
    Music lives Forever

    #LiberateHongKong

  25. - Top - End - #235
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Anonymouswizard's Avatar

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    Default Re: Wish Granting on a Budget

    I've reprogrammed your SatNav, it no longer knows the words 'left' or 'straight ahead'.

    I wish that I had chocolate to give my friend.
    Snazzy avatar (now back! ) by Honest Tiefling.

    RIP Laser-Snail, may you live on in our hearts forever.

    Spoiler: playground quotes
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

  26. - Top - End - #236
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2008

    Default Re: Wish Granting on a Budget

    Granted! I couldn't afford very fast shipping, and it's really cold out, so the milk choco bar you're getting is coming the Monday after Valentine's and is probably going to have that weird grayish powder-looking texture all over it, but you can share it with your friend, and that's what matters. Right?

    I wish I didn't have to wake up so early.
    Leo, Ajax, Deshy, Cutty.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  27. - Top - End - #237
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    TurboGhast's Avatar

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    Default Re: Wish Granting on a Budget

    Technically you don't have to wake up early. You just want to because it helps you fulfill your desires.

    I wish for the ability to wake up early.
    Link to true signature
    Feel free to sig anything I post, just do so in quote format.

  28. - Top - End - #238
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

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    Default Re: Wish Granting on a Budget

    Well, I mean, you have the ability. What you lack is the will.

    That being said, I'll be over there with a bucket of water early tomorrow morning.


    I wish for a sweet feast.
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.

    [+]

  29. - Top - End - #239
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Imp

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    Default Re: Wish Granting on a Budget

    Granted! Here's a voucher for a taxi ride to the nearest candy store (cost of candy and return trip not included)

    I wish for a plane ticket to anywhere.
    This is a boring signature.
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES
    EXPLODED RUNES
    PICTURE OF A CAT
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES

  30. - Top - End - #240
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    The Malk's Avatar

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    Feb 2019

    Default Re: Wish Granting on a Budget

    Quote Originally Posted by Korith View Post
    Granted! Here's a voucher for a taxi ride to the nearest candy store (cost of candy and return trip not included)

    I wish for a plane ticket to anywhere.
    The Airline Agent is unable to find a ticket to "Anywhere" so you'll have to step aside to let the other people in line through. They'll get back to you eventually.

    I wish there was an easier way to say the things on my mind.

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