Am I being a problem? (Long Post)

[Pictogram]

Hey community!

I just wanted to ask everyone here on whether or not they think i'm acting a fool and being a general jerk in my online Pathfinder game.

To give a bit of background: this is a Roll20 game with 1 friend from before and the others are people that I've met through this game. The DM has created a rich world with much lore and a lot to draw from, allows just about anything (material wise) as long as we can back it up with role playing chops and decent backstory. I really enjoy the DM's willingness to add to the lore and insert things as it creates really good flow and a fun experience. However my problem doesn't come from the DM but from some of the fellow players.

To elaborate more, the other players (not the friend that I mentioned before) come from various backgrounds of role playing experiences which is totally fine as we all start somewhere just stating that some are experienced and some are not. Let's name these people AZ, HM, and MK, my friend will be RA.

Now these 3 individuals are cool people and I'm sure make decision in their actual lives but when it comes to the game it's like pulling teeth while scratching a chalk board to get any decisiveness from them. I understand that we all have varying degrees of shyness and social anxieties as I myself have social anxiety but I guess being behind a screen emboldens me to some level, So being in this game, while I don't mind coming up with plans and talking to all the NPC's ( not all, as RA is very character driven too) I start to feel like i'm under an all too hot spotlight and want the stage to be shared more. So the obvious solution would be to talk less? Nope. If I, or RA didn't talk as much as we did it would be excruciatingly quiet with LOTS of dead air, as I've tried this before and little to nothing got done by the parties volition.

AZ ( the most experienced of the lot) has a bit more personality than the others as he's some waterbender type but literally that's all the talks about and if it's not water related or happy go lucky descriptions of the color of fish he doesn't contribute. He's the most good aligned character, which is totally cool but shuts down if he doesn't agree with the parties methods of going on with the quest. I try not to steam roll him but he doesn't argue for his perspective and if i just remain silent he's content with sitting in his collapsible tub , splashing people, and not trying to be "mean".

HM is playing a gritty gunslinger badass who I think he means to play like a Han Solo type but can never commit to anything enough to get any dastardliness across. He'll think, oh i'm going to be a bastard and shmooze this person or steal this, but he never does and just ends up Uhing and Ering when asked what he's going to do. When he speaks up to say something it's literally so frustrating because it becomes a snake eating it's own tail situation where he'll have an idea, talk himself out of said idea, and when the focus goes off of him wants to maybe try that idea again but loses his drive to do so. It's bizarre.

MK is the most quiet of them all, a wizard construct who's a blaster. When I or RA, or any NPC for that matter, try to talk to them they most always respond with " You are met with an unblinking stare" and that's about it.

RA plays a lizardfolk fighter who's dumb as rocks ( which is his name subsequently), enjoys bullying the weak, threatening that we're all just his tasty lil morsels, and causes lots of ruckus, but honestly it's really great because he's not that sort of player that just ignores the plot and plays with himself. He engages the story just in his own violent idiotic way.

Enter me. I first started out this game as a Psychic named Rokka who's psychic school was Psychedelia so i got my mental prowess from ingesting hallucinogenic drugs. I used a Californian accent, always talked about spiritual mumbo jumbo, didn't bathe, and was on a path to spiritual enlightenment and to connect to his past lives. After coming up with many plans for different situation or whatever, I would get criticized after the fact if something went wrong or they didn't agree with it, but they never spoke up about it all, only afterwords to bitch at me! Well after becoming frustrated with the groups inaction but ability to criticize, i ditched the character like he would ditch his drugs if the authorities caught him and created Prunella Featherbottom.

Prunella is a shibaten, which is a anthropomorphic duck race, I then found this 3rd party class called the Noble who's pretty much garbage at combat, get's social feats, but the main thing they get is lots of extra gold. She wears big fancy Victorian style dresses and giant elaborate Kentucky derby style hats. She's very posh, classist, middle aged, greedy, and gluttonous. I talk in a over the top dramatic way, She's kinda strong cause sometimes she busts out her whip and gets to snapping but her main stat is her charisma which is very high. However, i gave her a 6 wisdom as she constantly thinks she's on vacation, and the other party members are people in her bridge club. Even in her delusion i engage the DM and his story and i go into my shenanigans but never enough to derail that much as I still want to progress the plot. I made her though because she doesn't have the mental agency to make really important decisions. If party members turn to me during a crucial part of the plot for direction i say that a beady blank glazed eye stare meets yours as Prunella guzzles down another cucumber tea sandwich she has at the ready. If they asked me to spread/ or collect some gossip then i'm ALL over that, but because she's so classist and rich she find many things beneath and should be delegated to others. I insult others to spur them into action or to do things, because when she grows bored she starts talking smack. I have a cantrip that lets me slap people at a distance and I do so to a PC if they insult her pedigree by requesting something unbecoming of someone of her station.

Now, i know this is a tad harsh but I'm at the end of my rope as I really love the game as the DM has set up a cool story/world but I just want more interaction from the players!Suggestions, commentary, thoughts? Help me community! Thank you for your time

[Koo Rehtorb]

You can't. You can't make bad players better and you can't make boring players less dull. It sounds like you've already done everything you can do. You've given them chances to do things, you've poked them to do things, you can't do any more. They're playing the game the way they want to play it.

In future, I would suggest checking how stringent the application process for a roll20 game is. Generally speaking, a GM that asks the players to do some work to get into the game tends to attract a better breed of player. It's not infallible, but I've seen it work more often than not.

[ShedShadow]

Might I inquire as to how long you've been playing the fancy lady? It sounds like that would actually work, given enough time to play. If it doesn't, however, you can try telling them straight up kindly but without beating around the bush. That is the best approach.

[Darth Ultron]

As a player in a game like this, you really only get two choices:

1.Be the Face of the group and do all the RP
2.Act like the rest of the players and have a low RP/no RP type game

[Kaptin Keen]

I had a friend - let's call him D - who played in our group for more than 5 years. He was a really nice guy, friendly, reliable sort, I'd never say a word against him. But he just never learned to contribute much. One guy in a group of 5 is fine. The opposite is less true.

[Demidos]

Sometime before a session, start out with a question along these lines:

"So uh, guys, before we start, I had a question for each of you, and I want to get a reply from each of you before we continue. When I made my noble character it was at least partly because I felt like I had been dominating the conversation / RP too much, but I still feel like I have a large part of the spotlight and sometimes it feels like I'm just roleplaying with myself. I just wanted to check with you guys if you're good with how the spotlight time is being distributed or if you want to change things up."

Once they reply, you can also ask if they are fine with your new noble character and/or hate her, but make sure you get the more important answer first before moving on, since I've found giving people multiple questions at once almost always leads to them answering the least important one and ignoring or forgetting the rest. Make sure you include your friend the cannibal lizard in this question, so it feels like you're talking with the group in general and not targetting specific people -- you can figure it out with RA before so he answers and makes the other players feel prompted into talking too, or not, depending on what you may think works best.

[Geddy2112]

I don't think playing a character to abrasively and forcibly get the other PC's to engage is going to go well. Your party is pretty close to initiating PvP, and that's a pretty clear escalation. If they don't say anything, yet are chewing you out, then let them know they can always speak up during the planning of any big party decision. If they gripe just ignore it and remind them they had a chance to give input. They are probably just salty that said plan didn't work and want to blame you for it going south. I advise against taking it personally or taking it out on the party, these things never end well.

As a player in a game like this, you really only get two choices:

1.Be the Face of the group and do all the RP
2.Act like the rest of the players and have a low RP/no RP type game

Second this, although you have a third option and that is to leave.

[denthor]

Simple the waffle by the one that says something then backs out.

If a suggestion come from him the answer is always yes let's do that now. Then get it started no need for a reason or questions. It yes now hey we are in Europe now let's go to Australia. By walking good plan start walking.

[Pictogram]

Might I inquire as to how long you've been playing the fancy lady? It sounds like that would actually work, given enough time to play. If it doesn't, however, you can try telling them straight up kindly but without beating around the bush. That is the best approach.

I've been playing her for about 3 sessions now, so yea maybe the seed needs a little more time to grow.

I had a friend - let's call him D - who played in our group for more than 5 years. He was a really nice guy, friendly, reliable sort, I'd never say a word against him. But he just never learned to contribute much. One guy in a group of 5 is fine. The opposite is less true.

yea the problem is that it's a 3:2 ratio. If it was just 1 or a minority of the party I think it would be fine.

your friend the cannibal lizard

But is he a cannibal if we're not lizardfolk? Seriously though, what you suggested is a good idea and a way to gauge everyone, and getting RA in on the conversation i think will prompt people to talk.

I don't think playing a character to abrasively and forcibly get the other PC's to engage is going to go well. Your party is pretty close to initiating PvP, and that's a pretty clear escalation. If they don't say anything, yet are chewing you out, then let them know they can always speak up during the planning of any big party decision. If they gripe just ignore it and remind them they had a chance to give input. They are probably just salty that said plan didn't work and want to blame you for it going south. I advise against taking it personally or taking it out on the party, these things never end well.

You're not wrong, i do bristle up, and i agree with you I shouldn't take offense i guess I'm a bit sensitive? Haha. That is a good idea though to remind them during those times however that they have the ability to add input. Ah, and the PVP, if anyone mister RA will be starting that as he... well... calls people ugly and makes swings at people that don't do anything... and if they hit they don't even react? It's weird. I know super aggressive but like, fear motivates? So yes, maybe i should play her less abrasive but how about more incompetent? Like, if they decide to just be salty about a choice of mine I just behave nuttier (less forceful) and insert more hijinks into important moments so i become another obstacle ( I know this is taking it out on them still) but then they would have to RP @ me to get me to stop calling out to the enemy while we're hiding because I like their trim or think they have social significance.

Also I really don't want to just leave cause RA is a super great player and the DM's homebrew world is bad ass and super in depth

[Pictogram]

Simple the waffle by the one that says something then backs out.

If a suggestion come from him the answer is always yes let's do that now. Then get it started no need for a reason or questions. It yes now hey we are in Europe now let's go to Australia. By walking good plan start walking.

So good! No matter the idea, b/c Prunella has 6 wisdom she can just be like "BRILLIANT" and start marching towards said suggestion with reckless abandon.

[2D8HP]

@Pictogram,

I fail to see where you could potentially be called a "jerk".

Do you just mean by being unhappy about other players not contributing more?

You've given no-indication of hassling the other players about it, so as long as you don't you're not a jerk.

Keep that up.

If you want to get the other players to talk more in-character, have your character ask them questions in-character, especially about their backgrounds.

That usually opens the flood gates.

[Pelle]

If people are timid and indecisive, it's hard to change them. Do they enjoy it, or is it a problem for anyone else than yourself that you take the leadership? Some people are happy that others take that role. Though I agree, the game is more fun when everyone contributes.

You could perhaps try toning down your characters, making them stand out less? Although, the rest of the party looks like quite the freak show as well. Maybe it would help if you all created your characters together with a common goal, instead of in isolation of each other? That might help for feeling more like a cohesive party, instead of 5 players playing a game of their own, hopefully making it easier for the others to take actions.

[Mordaedil]

Speaking as someone who was very withdrawn and had trouble expressing myself before in games, it all came down to an experience I had which inspired me for the rest of my life. It wasn't that I manage to copy it perfectly, but I copy a lot of the "feeling" I got from that person and watching his roleplay.

He would do stuff like exploding the entire party with fireballs, torch livestock while being chased by police, make exaggerated motions with a tooth pick in character, and polymorph himself into a troll and go wading into melee because he felt otherwise left out.

I don't know if I can describe it quite right, but it left an impression on me and I've since made my characters equally expressive in ways.

Maybe it would be something that could help your friends as well. Sometimes being bad at the game means being good at the roleplaying part.

And sometimes losing is fun.

[House Greyjoy]

Is anyone complaining about your playing style? If not, then there's nothing for you to act on. You might ask the other players OOC if they're okay with how you're playing your character. My suggestion would be to ask the question without any justification padding (i.e. "Are you okay with the way I'm writing my character? The reason I do it is because the rest of you aren't doing anything and to be honest someone has to take the lead and it always seems to be me"). Just ask and let them answer, and see if a discussion is warranted.

[Kyrell1978]

If people are timid and indecisive, it's hard to change them. Do they enjoy it, or is it a problem for anyone else than yourself that you take the leadership? Some people are happy that others take that role. Though I agree, the game is more fun when everyone contributes.

You could perhaps try toning down your characters, making them stand out less? Although, the rest of the party looks like quite the freak show as well. Maybe it would help if you all created your characters together with a common goal, instead of in isolation of each other? That might help for feeling more like a cohesive party, instead of 5 players playing a game of their own, hopefully making it easier for the others to take actions.

This right here. I think that even the most experienced of us could do with a session zero pretty much every time to work the kinks out and build a few reasons to work together before the game ever starts. At the end of the day it is a group game and if the group is not functioning, everyone's fun suffers.

[Hooligan]

Are you a problem? Let's ask Dr. Steve Brule: "Maybe." See. You might be a problem. Let's find out.

Are your plans foolish, ill-conceived, and do you take forever to explain them to the others? If so, then that is annoying.

If not, and these kids are truly the wet blankets you describe them as, then here is what you need to do cousin: Get your morbidly obese, diabetes-having, duck businessman and your lizard bro and get malevolent on they ass. Start devising plans that put the other 3 into mortal danger. If that doesn't work, talk things over with your mate and work out a plan to murder them yourselves; all at once or perhaps just 1 to make an example out of. Do this last bit of planning OOC of course unless these scrubs are so gorked out as to not care if you openly plot their demise at the table.

[House Greyjoy]

Are you a problem? Let's ask Dr. Steve Brule: "Maybe." See. You might be a problem. Let's find out.

Are your plans foolish, ill-conceived, and do you take forever to explain them to the others? If so, then that is annoying.

If not, and these kids are truly the wet blankets you describe them as, then here is what you need to do cousin: Get your morbidly obese, diabetes-having, duck businessman and your lizard bro and get malevolent on they ass. Start devising plans that put the other 3 into mortal danger. If that doesn't work, talk things over with your mate and work out a plan to murder them yourselves; all at once or perhaps just 1 to make an example out of. Do this last bit of planning OOC of course unless these scrubs are so gorked out as to not care if you openly plot their demise at the table.

[YohaiHorosha]

Do you have their contact info?

The question isn't "am i the problem?", but rather "what do i do next?"

You have a style of roleplay that you want and aren't getting from this experience
1) do the other players know this?
2) have the other players expressed what they want?
3) have you asked each player " how can i enhance your experience?"

Bottom line: it is up to the gm to moderate the game. If the gm knows your frustration, then ask the gm to mediate a convo about roleplay experience and what everyone likes. If the result of that convo is "until you went crazy with new character we were having a great time", then it's just a compatibility question. Do you mind doing the run roleplay And letting everyone else be a wet rag or do you want/need more? If so, walk away. If not, then have fun and move on.

Don't adjudicate what other people consider fun.

[Mutazoia]

IMHO you are not the weakest link.

The other players are not the weakest link.

Your GM is the weakest link.

The GM is not only supposed to craft the world and the (Nouns) within, but also arbitrate player disputes. The first time the rest of the group started getting snotty after one of your plans didn't work, he should have stepped up and pointed out that none of the other players had bothered to come up with a plan, that they all chose to go with your plan rather than say anything before hand, co-operated with said plan from start to finish, and thus have no legs to stand on when hurling criticism.

Instead, your GM let this behavior continue to the point where you felt the need to abandon a character that you were clearly having fun playing, and playing rather well.

So, in conclusion, I would say that if you are going to have a pre-game talk with anybody about the events you have portrayed here, you should be chatting with your GM about the hostile attitude you are getting from people who don't contribute to the game beyond rolling virtual dice.

[Koo Rehtorb]

It's not the GM's job to be a social arbiter. The GM is not your parent, your teacher or your therapist.

[EldritchWeaver]

It's not the GM's job to be a social arbiter. The GM is not your parent, your teacher or your therapist.

No one claimed here that a GM has to be like a parent, teacher or therapist. But it is the GM's job to deal with group conflicts and in that regard has to be an arbiter. If the enjoyment of the players is lacking then the GM has to find a solution. Removing people from the game is an option, too.

[Pelle]

Nope, the GM is only responsible for the game. When something isn't working for out-of-game reasons, it's the whole groups' responsibilty to make it work.

[EldritchWeaver]

I'm not saying that the other people aren't involved or shouldn't be involved, but the GM doesn't have the choice to not get involved. They also have the greatest responsibility, because they have the most power at the table.

[dps]

Given the information we have, I have to agree that the DM is at least part of the problem. He shouldn't tell people what to do, but it some players aren't having fun (and it definitely seems that you aren't), then he has a responsibility to address that and try to find a solution. It doesn't appear that he has made any attempt to address the issue. But then again, maybe that's because you haven't let him know that you aren't having fun.