Outside 47: [Insert seasonal phrase that will be outdated when this thread ends]

[Rebonack]

[Yellow Sands Waste]

Come on, lots of people know jokes even if they aren't clowns! Jokes are great!

"Umm... w-why is a kobold so good at knowing how much things weigh?" Neepee, the kobold who has thus far been silent speaks up. He wait a moment or two. "Because he always has his scales with him."

...

Okay, some jokes are great.

Other jokes are terrible.

However, the ensorcerelled dragon beings chuckling! Enough so that she doesn't even try to avoid Kothar's attack! The axe bites into her scales again.

"Is it working?" Meepa gasps. "Say another joke, Neepee!"

"Oh... uh... Why are kobolds so great at telling stories?" Neepee asks. A moment of silence follows. "Because they know their tails so well!"

At the point the dragon is rolling on the cave floor laughing.

"Honored champion!" Meepa calls out. "Try your magic again!"

[Gnrlshrimp]

[Wizards Tower]

"Wh-oof!" Sylvess is sent tumbling as Spako tackles him, falling onto his back with wings and limbs all well and truly tangled up with Spako. One might expect the comment about him being stood up to be enough to send Sylvess mumbling apologies, but for the moment at least that's set aside in favour of a hesitant smiles as he leans his head over to nuzzle against Spako's. "H-hi Spako. I'm glad you're okay."

[Earl of Purple]

Forlorn Cave

"Iron bars. No idea what's behind the other. Could be a treasure vault, or a magazine for the gunpowder. Or it might be a door into their larder. Not a clue." She doubts it's a magazine. They don't have enough gunpowder weaponry to need one that large, unless they're planning on keeping themselves isolated for a long time... And that's doubtful, since they don't have enough food to do that.

The half-orc, human and tiefling are all gathering various weapons from the dead, though they're also shying away from the cutlasses. The aasimar's read the runes and shuddered, and she's very deliberately pushing them aside. She might be able to tell Metalhead what the weapon does, since he's taken one and doesn't yet know. Same goes for his other magic.

[Leostales]

Forlorn Cave

Metalhead approaches the Aasimar. "Could you tell me what these magic items do?" he says showing her the compass, medallion, and ring and pointing to the swords.

[Earl of Purple]

Forlorn Cave

The aasimar nods. "The swords... The swords are cruel. They cause more pain than they should, and have a healing enchantment built in. Not much of one, not enough to regenerate anything, but enough to keep someone alive. They... If you decapitate someone with this, the head will live on in unbearable agony for nearly a minute." So not very pleasant at all. "The others are better. That ring... It probably doesn't help you much. It lets a person breathe underwater." Not breathe water, though. It doesn't matter how polluted the water is, or even if it's something other than water like alcohol or acid or magma (though those all have other, more immediate hazards than drowning). "The medallion is useful. Once you've claimed it, uh, traditionally that involves dripping a drop of your blood on it, you may need to improvise, it'll protect against bad luck. It doesn't give good luck, it just... stops bad luck." So you'll never lose your wallet, or trip on something and fall down the stairs (unless by so doing you avoid a crashing aircraft or something). "The compass is great if you're a pirate, raider or merchant. It points towards the nearest large collection of people, but I can't tell how large the group needs to be. It doesn't include the group you're in, though, so that's great."

[bc56]

Yellow Sands Waste

"By Tlacua, BEGONE!" Kothar shouts at the dragon, again channelling holy power. He hopes this will work, but, of course, he has a backup plan just in case.

[Murkus]

[The Old Forest]

"He walks in the mortal world now, so he's subject to its laws," the Old Man Forest says. "And can be defeated, as he was before. But... he's learned since then. He doesn't show himself openly very often." His head hangs a little. "Fallen or not, he's a Lord of the Fae. We can't stand against him. I told you in hope you'll bring the word to others. Like those who came with you to defeat the ice spirit. They'll trust you more than they would trust us."

[The Old Forest]

"Hey, don't worry. I do still have some friends I can call on. But it would be pretty helpful if you can tell me any... weaknesses he might have? Something that might give us an edge?"

[Leostales]

Forlorn Cave

The aasimar nods. "The swords... The swords are cruel. They cause more pain than they should, and have a healing enchantment built in. Not much of one, not enough to regenerate anything, but enough to keep someone alive. They... If you decapitate someone with this, the head will live on in unbearable agony for nearly a minute." So not very pleasant at all. "The others are better. That ring... It probably doesn't help you much. It lets a person breathe underwater." Not breathe water, though. It doesn't matter how polluted the water is, or even if it's something other than water like alcohol or acid or magma (though those all have other, more immediate hazards than drowning). "The medallion is useful. Once you've claimed it, uh, traditionally that involves dripping a drop of your blood on it, you may need to improvise, it'll protect against bad luck. It doesn't give good luck, it just... stops bad luck." So you'll never lose your wallet, or trip on something and fall down the stairs (unless by so doing you avoid a crashing aircraft or something). "The compass is great if you're a pirate, raider or merchant. It points towards the nearest large collection of people, but I can't tell how large the group needs to be. It doesn't include the group you're in, though, so that's great."

Metalhead nods. "Thanks for the help. If everyone's ready, let's go finish this." If everyone is ready, he leaves and goes through the door with the iron bars.

[Deathkeeper]

[Wizards’ Tower]

Spako happily returns the gesture and untangled himself a little bit.
”You should come in. I have more dragon-sized cushions than the living room.” Actually it’s about the same but he’d rather talk privately. Hopefully Sylvess takes the hint.

[Rebonack]

[Yellow Sands Waste]

Light washes over the dragon, growing steadily brighter until she's all but obscured.

And when the light fades?

She's just sitting there, looking vaguely confused.

The burns and ash are gone, largely. As are the horns of charred wood.

Just a completely normal looking adult copper dragon.

"What... what's going on?" she asks, sounding a bit dumbfounded.

The trio of kobolds immediately swarm her, babbling about how worried they've been.

Looks like a success!

[bc56]

Yellow Sands Waste

Kothar bows respectfully to the dragon. "Madam, your domain was attacked by dark forces. Your subjects requested I provide aid in driving them away."

[Earl of Purple]

Forlorn Cave

Beyond the door with iron bars is a room with a lot of metal cages in it. There's ten cages, but only four are currently occupied- an old marshwiggle in a pair of jeans and a green chequered shirt under a leather apron and three Argonians. One of the Argonians is a female, wearing a loose silk top and leather trousers, with green-blue scales and a cluster of red and pink feathers in the top of her head. The other two are her bodyguards; one wears blocky, bronze-coloured armour with a hole for his tail, the other wears golden plate with a more organic, rounded appearance- Dwemer and Elven armour, respectively.

There's also three cultists here, a huge hulking monster of a man wearing a crude loincloth and holding a boathook as a spear; he roars when he sees the intruders and charges, only to be felled by a well-aimed shot from the marshwiggle with her reclaimed musket impacting with his head. The other two are a scrawny man with elongated limbs, holding a pistol which he levels at the intruders and fires and a bearded, toothless man with an eyepatch, holding a hatchet in his three hands; he throws one at Metalhead and draws a brass dagger.

[Leostales]

Forlorn Cave

The hatchet hits Metalhead in the head, getting stuck in the metal plating. Metalhead lets out a shout, the effect of Angrizz's spell isn't quite over yet. He manages to pull himself together and pulls out a gun and shoots at the man repeatedly.

[Rebonack]

[Yellow Sands Waste]

The dragon gives her head a shake again. "I feel as if I've been dreaming... But I remember enough to know that what you say is true. I invited them into my home as guests and they..."

Did terrible things.

"It wasn't your fault, Great One!" Meepa assures the dragon. "You offered kindness and they took advantage of it. We'll just have to be more careful in the future."

The dragon nods at this, still a bit woozy from her ordeal. "I... you have my thanks, Champion of Tlacua. I'm sorry, normally I would love to hear the story of your adventures, but I feel... drawn. But still, you should be rewarded for your valliant efforts."

She turns to a nearby shelf and carefully selects a book before offering it to the paladin.

"This has served me well, I hope it will serve you, too," she says warmly. Then she'll wait for a reply before slinking off to her bed chambers to rest.

The book?

It's a book of jokes.

Written in draconic.

[Riftline Station]

Zee hikes her way up a trail that winds its way up the sea cliffs and into a landscape of rolling, grassy hills and small scrubby trees. A little bathroom is set up here, along with a few picnic tables, a sheltered seating area, and a large colorful sign detailing the local sea birds that live on the nearby rocks sticking out of the ocean. The Riftline tracks aren't far away, built on a raised mound of earth and gravel. Zee takes a seat on one of the benches and waits, gently rocking the slumbering bronze wyrmling draped over her shoulder. She runs her fingers along his little scales, humming softly to him.

Aside from mother and child, there isn't anyone else here. This is, after all, something of a remote stop. How many people hop off the train at a lonely, secluded beach? Aside from Zee, of course.

The train will arrive eventually. But for now, Zee's content to hold her son and watch the wind send waves rippling through the tall grass. To sit and listen to the waves breaking on the shores. To the distant call of sea birds. To the steady drum of her child's heart.

A bit of peace and quiet is nice, sometimes.

[Earl of Purple]

Forlorn Cave

The marshwiggle gasps as the bullet fired from the pistol hit her in the leg, but it doesn't last long. The axe-cultist has been shot a lot of times and has collapsed. The pistol-cultist, meanwhile, has to deal with the tiefling and the aasimar, who have moved forward and clasped hands and projected the other out. From the tiefling's hand projects a narrow cone of dark red flame, whilst the aasimar projects a narrow cone of bright white flames, converging on his position. He drops over also dead, and lightly toasted.

[Leostales]

Forlorn cave

If any of the pirates are alive, Metalhead quick moves to interrogate them. Otherwise, he helps free the prisoners.

[Earl of Purple]

Forlorn Cave

Nope, none of the pirates are alive. The old marshwiggle goes to his daughter and helps her stand, whilst the aasimar has a look at the wound to see if she can help. The others are mainly trying to claim weaponry in case there's any more cultists about. They're ignoring the guns, because only the marshwiggles have experience in using those out of this lot.

[Gnrlshrimp]

[Wizards' Tower]

Sylvess rolls back onto his feet, sighing with relief. Spako's fine and not angry with him, well not too angry anyway. He'd been braced for a much worse reaction - shouting, grovelling apologies, maybe getting kicked back out the door or something like that. He's not entirely fine himself, but it sure helps a lot having Spako here. "Oh, yes, of course. Lead the way, Spako. A-and, uh, I am sorry. I didn't mean to make your worry."

[Leostales]

Forlorn Cave

Metalhead helps free the Argonians (if they aren't free already). After this he goes through the pockets of any dead cultists, searching for magic items or money.

"One last room, and this place should be cleared out." he announces, pulling the axe out of his head. "Then I can get some repair work done," he thinks.

[Ashen Lilies]

[Dragon Mountain]

"Just some fellow adventurers," says Cass. Not exactly trusting these dwarves just yet.

[Earl of Purple]

Forlorn Cave

They've got some money, a collection of twelve gold coins, sixteen silver and twenty-three copper ones. Also a disc carved from bone, but not a magical one. Magic-wise, one of the pirate-cultists has a silver coin that will always land on its head (ideal for winning coin flips), and the hulk has a magical tattoo of an anchor that boosts his strength; the tattoo will attempt to transfer to Metalhead if he touches it, where it will have the same effect upon the robot. It'll feel tingly, but not painful.

The anchor's design and colours might change, and it may look more like a decal than a tattoo, but despite Metalhead's mechanical nature it will still have the same effect. It might not look like an anchor, but it will symbolise 'strength' if it does change that radically.

[Leostales]

Forlorn Cave

Metalhead pockets the coins, putting the magic one in the ivory case containing the magic ring.

The tattoo appears on Metalhead's shoulder (not visible at the time). Being a robot, he's already pretty strong, but the tattoo does increase his strength somewhat.

"Well if everyone's ready, I think we should check out that next room." If everyone is ready, he will leave the room and head into the next one.

[Earl of Purple]

Forlorn Cave

The final room contains an armoury, with several metal shelves standing against the walls. Pushed into the corner is a carronade, with a pile of six cannonballs next to it and all the equipment needed to load, fire and maintain it. There's also three barrels of gunpowder. Piled on the shelves are twelve muskets of various designs, mostly flintlock but there's an antique (even by the standards of the others) matchlock as well. There's also a collection of cutlasses and boarding axes, a cavalry sabre, a two-handed war-axe, an aluminium baseball bat and a collection of flintlock pistols. Standing in the corner is a mannequin dressed in a red tricorn hat, a matching greatcoat over a steel breastplate sculpted with a muscular physique complete with brass nipple-rings, and a belt with space to holster four flintlock pistols.

The cannonballs are all inscribed with a different magical rune- one of flames, one of impact, one of frost, one of fear, one of thunder and one of accuracy. The cavalry sabre is ornate, finely balanced and transfers life from the slain to the wielder, though that might not be too handy for Metalhead. The two-handed war-axe manipulates its own momentum to hit harder and smash through armour. One of the pistols is rifled, but isn't otherwise special. The tricorn hat enables the wearer to fly at jogging speed, but it needs to be quite close to a surface to work- wall, floor, ceiling or the surface of a body of water. The breastplate provides a decent forcefield around the other parts of the wearer, so it protects far more of the body than it should. And the belt auto-loads any pistol holstered in it, so long as adequate ammunition is also stored in pouches or other containers hanging from it.

[Slii Arhem]

Spongy Campsite

"If you're expecting subtlety from them, don't hold your breath. The only subtle thing about them is that I believe they genuinely care for my well be-" Well, if Dustin was going to say more as he changed out of his shirt, it gets cut off when he finally notices that Rea had completely removed her own clothing without any hint of shame. "...okay. Rea, I need to say it. My momma may have raised me to a chivalrous and polite and gentlemanly guy, but at the moment you're making me think some very ungentlemanly things. I have a spare pair of boxer-briefs if you don't mind at least putting those on before we turn in. Otherwise I might have to just sleep out doors if I'm to control myself." He explains before finally considering her idea. "And no, the box would just appear later no matter how hard you launch it. I tried sinking it before and even tossing it down into a ravine. It comes back eventually."

Spongy Campsite

Dustin can hardly fail to note that wherever Rea's garments concealed her before, her flesh is as pale and milky as when he first laid eyes on her, while the skin that was exposed even briefly to the weak, evening sunlight has taken on a tan much like his own, the lines between her tanned and protected skin crisp and stark. So fair she'd likely tan even by moonlight, and a reminder that she is very much Not Human.

"I'd be very flattered by whatever unchivalrous thoughts you'd care to have about me, Dustin, but for the sake of your health and propriety, if not any body shame of my own, I will cover myself for you." She'll shimmy into the offered boxer briefs, loose around her waist but invitingly stretchy elsewhere. And without regard for it, she'll tear a long strip of cloth from around the hem of her star-made dress, the fabric yielding under her slender fingers like smoke to the wind. She wraps it once around her chest and, reaching back, ties it tightly enough to secure her modesty.

"Will that suffice enough for you to get a restful sleep?"

[UncleWolf]

Spongy Campsite

Well then. Those tanlines and the shimmy only serve to make him stare harder. It takes him a moment to realize he's being asked a question, but when he does he shakes his head. "No, no it damn well does not, but at this point I don't think anything can. Too riled up as it is." He admits before simply reaching to take her hand so he can drag her down into the sleeping bag. "And since I'm not covering up my chest, it'd be hypocritical of me to ask you to. Do what you want up there." He explains before closing his eyes and trying to relax.

Mostly he fails, but he'll try to be a nice and protective "big spoon" for the night for Rea. He's far too riled up to sleep easily, but eventually he does grow exhausted enough to just pass out.

[Slii Arhem]

Spongy Campsite

Well then. Those tanlines and the shimmy only serve to make him stare harder. It takes him a moment to realize he's being asked a question, but when he does he shakes his head. "No, no it damn well does not, but at this point I don't think anything can. Too riled up as it is." He admits before simply reaching to take her hand so he can drag her down into the sleeping bag. "And since I'm not covering up my chest, it'd be hypocritical of me to ask you to. Do what you want up there." He explains before closing his eyes and trying to relax.

Mostly he fails, but he'll try to be a nice and protective "big spoon" for the night for Rea. He's far too riled up to sleep easily, but eventually he does grow exhausted enough to just pass out.

Spongy Campsite

Shrugging, Rea undoes the knot and lets the ersatz chest-wrap fall before being dragged down to sleep. But she's not yet done staking her claim against the three little lambs who've known Dustin oh so long. No, she can be unsubtle as well.

"Even if I'm not wearing anything, I feel I should still be covered so you're not tempted to peek and think too many ungentlemanly thoughts. And so, if you would not mind." And with that, Rea reaches back and attempts to, gently but inexorably, drag Dustin's hands around to her front to cover her. For modesty.

[UncleWolf]

Spongy Campsite

Dustin groans and concedes, knowing when he's defeated and that he's going to be unable to resist any longer. At least if he gives in a little now, it won't be an utter disaster later. He doesn't resist Rea's plotting, but he does sigh heavily as he holds her body tight and comforting against his own. "You four are going to be the death of me. My heart's going to give out at this rate before I actually get to meet my fate."

When Rea wakes up, she'll be wonderfully warm and comfortable and met by a chorus of contently snoring sounds. Dustin's hand is where she placed it, nice and snug between her chest...and one of the Annes. All three have somehow whispered their way into the "single-person" tent overnight. Not a single one of the Ewes wears a stitch of clothing, but all three are content. One lays on top, one lays in front of Rea, and the last is snuggled up behind Dustin.

Rea might have tried to stake her claim on Dustin, but it seems the three have decided to just take the entire bundle.

[Slii Arhem]

Fluffy Hugpile

Rea's alert immediately on waking, but doesn't react immediately apart from opening her eyes, breathing more deeply, and taking stock of the situation. Well... it was a lot warmer with them here, and the night had been a bit chill. But still... Her arms sneak out and surround the two closest of the intruders as she speaks in low, warning tones, "Ladies? Just like the rule about the F word that Dustin imposed on you applies to me, even before I knew of it, you should abide by the rules he set for me. No gallivanting about in This tent unless you've got drawers on. It's unhealthy for Dustin's ungentlemanly urges." Aulorea finishes regally, her own arms slipping around the hips of her chosen two to cover them where it showed, perhaps a touch more cheekily and forcefully than she needed to for the sake of merely covering.

[UncleWolf]

Fluffy Campsite

The Ewe in front of Rea and the one on top are both grabbed and pulled close, roused from their deep slumbers into a wonderful and surprising situation. The two blink their eyes, collecting themselves before grinning ear to ear. "We had been content just to snuggle up." "But now that you've awoken us and decided to take a feel..." There's a pause as the two wait for their third counterpart to chime in, but after they both take a quick glance to find her sleeping happily snuggled up under one of Dustin's arms, they just shrug at each other before looking back up at Rea. "Well, now we'll have to show you that food isn't the only thing that'll melt you to a puddle." They declare together before dragging a curtain down around themselves and Rea. Undoubtedly after a while Dustin and the third Anne will be dragged in as well for as long as Rea can keep herself together.

[bc56]

Yellow Sands Waste

Kothar takes the book.
Well, it's a nice prize, at least. Kothar doesn't know his dragonlore well enough to know how valuable jokes are to a copper dragon. "My gratitude, madam. May your children be as many and as beautiful as the quetzal's feathers." After giving that blessing, he's now ready to leave.