Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permission

[noob]

*I am no longer allowed to use an alchemy jug to create a gallon of chlorine trifluoride.

**chains of nitrogen are also forbidden.
***Dioxygen Difluoride is not allowed either.
**** C2N14 is forbidden too even if it was made by Klapötke.

[ideasmith]

**chains of nitrogen are also forbidden.
***Dioxygen Difluoride is not allowed either.
**** C2N14 is forbidden too even if it was made by Klapötke.

*****Resubliminated Thiotilomene is right out.

[noob]

*****Resubliminated Thiotilomene is right out.

****** in the same grouping (fictional chemicals) red mercury is forbidden.

[Adrastos42]

****** in the same grouping (fictional chemicals) red mercury is forbidden.

******* In fact, let's say no in-game use of dangerous chemicals you wouldn't bring to the table irl.
********WAIT NO SCRATCH THAT

[Excession]

*** my incantation for fireball cannot be "cause combustion and from the resulting thermal reaction to form a spherical shape then launch itself into people designated my enemies through a currently unidentified force manipulated by vocal and visual hand signals that can't possibly be magic because it exists and therefore has to fit in and make sense with the rest of the universe so that reality does not fall apart."

**** No, "from evocation import fireball; fireball()" is not better.
* May not write a Python script that plays my character for me.

[LordCdrMilitant]

**** No, "from evocation import fireball; fireball()" is not better.
* May not write a Python script that plays my character for me.

** Nor in C++.
SpellSlot spellSlot31(3, "Fireball");
spellSlot31.cast(45, 0.71, 0.52);
*** Maybe MATLAB would be OK

I actually onetime wrote a program in Java that conducted combat for a D&D character in one of my CS classes a long time ago. It wasn't very efficient.


*In a setting where I can absorb traits from slain monsters "Swallow Whole" is not one that I can absorb :P.

[Guizonde]

*In a setting where I can absorb traits from slain monsters "Swallow Whole" is not one that I can absorb :P.

*just because a dragon chomps me does not give me a free pass to chomp it in return.
**that goes for my mount, too.
***coincidentally, i'm preemptively banned the dragon rider class, as well as any race that can indeed swallow whole.
****there are no sarlaccs in dnd. quit trying to freak out the players.

[noob]

*just because a dragon chomps me does not give me a free pass to chomp it in return.
**that goes for my mount, too.
***coincidentally, i'm preemptively banned the dragon rider class, as well as any race that can indeed swallow whole.
****there are no sarlaccs in dnd. quit trying to freak out the players.

*****If roughly half of the monsters can use swallow whole onto you and is 2 or 3 size categories bigger than you maybe you should start playing a travel cleric.
******If dragons that expects to meet you all use some way to shapechange in order to gain the swallow whole ability(which is not an innate ability for dragons) because they think the standard greeting in your culture is swallowing you then maybe you should reconsider your choices in your adventurer life.

[Rater202]

I cannot hum Soul Bossa Nova while on an international espionage mission.

[Anonymouswizard]

* If anybody in the group is arachnophobic then I cannot make them fight a spider made of spiders.
** A scorpion made of spiders is no better.

* If the NPCS are going to mess with a PC's memories I am to ask permission first.

* The PCS should be expecting to survive most fights.
** Especially the first fight.
*** Especially the journey to the first fight.
**** Especially character creation.

[jintoya]

*I am no longer allowed to use an alchemy jug to create a gallon of chlorine trifluoride.

Did something similar, our party rogue made me mad, so I labeled 2 jars tied to one another "alchemical wish, just mix"
The result was chlorine gas... He stole it, mixed it in his tent... And promptly died.

[Guizonde]

Did something similar, our party rogue made me mad, so I labeled 2 jars tied to one another "alchemical wish, just mix"
The result was chlorine gas... He stole it, mixed it in his tent... And promptly died.

that is disgusting. good thing i've got a very talented giant rabbit alchemist on the backburner just in case the dm isn't feeling nice with the random encounters. so far, he's made gunpowder, napalm, thermite, and hot sauce. guess it's time to reinforce his german engineer eugenicist stereotype. it's been at least two sessions since i've lost alignment points.

[jintoya]

that is disgusting. good thing i've got a very talented giant rabbit alchemist on the backburner just in case the dm isn't feeling nice with the random encounters. so far, he's made gunpowder, napalm, thermite, and hot sauce. guess it's time to reinforce his german engineer eugenicist stereotype. it's been at least two sessions since i've lost alignment points.

That sounds like a fun campaign.

For context though, I was the guy in our party who enchanted gear and we had no cleric, so I took alchemy to hand out healing potions... The rogue was stealing and pawning our things on his watch, so I made a "wish potion"...I didn't think he would huff the resulting acid gas

One of my party members, upon finding the rogue said "it really WAS a wish potion!"

[Guizonde]

That sounds like a fun campaign.

For context though, I was the guy in our party who enchanted gear and we had no cleric, so I took alchemy to hand out healing potions... The rogue was stealing and pawning our things on his watch, so I made a "wish potion"...I didn't think he would huff the resulting acid gas

One of my party members, upon finding the rogue said "it really WAS a wish potion!"

it is. the group plays 2 characters in two different teams. one the mirror opposite of the other. i played a chaotic neutral freak named josé who was self-centered, rash, brash, and suicidally confident due to his youth. his opposite is grandpapy bunny, arms dealer and alchemist, loving father and sire of a family of 200.

regarding the party member's quote? that's the sickest burn outside of a plague fire i can think of.

[jintoya]

it is. the group plays 2 characters in two different teams. one the mirror opposite of the other. i played a chaotic neutral freak named josé who was self-centered, rash, brash, and suicidally confident due to his youth. his opposite is grandpapy bunny, arms dealer and alchemist, loving father and sire of a family of 200.

regarding the party member's quote? that's the sickest burn outside of a plague fire i can think of.

200?
Does he have any OTHER hobbies? Jeez.

[Guizonde]

200?
Does he have any OTHER hobbies? Jeez.

not my fault, actually, but the dm's. i asked for an arbitrarily large family since the character is pushing on 167 years old, what with descendants and all. the dm, using the classical trope of "breeding like rabbits" just said "here's 200 followers. hope that's enough."

so my phrasing was a bit off, but that does include grandchildren, nieces, nephews, cousins etc... it's a very large family or tribe.

as a hobby, the giant bunny enjoys poetry and fireworks.

[jintoya]

not my fault, actually, but the dm's. i asked for an arbitrarily large family since the character is pushing on 167 years old, what with descendants and all. the dm, using the classical trope of "breeding like rabbits" just said "here's 200 followers. hope that's enough."

so my phrasing was a bit off, but that does include grandchildren, nieces, nephews, cousins etc... it's a very large family or tribe.

as a hobby, the giant bunny enjoys poetry and fireworks.

Oh, alright, that makes more sense, at 167 years of age, he's got 3-4 generations infront if him (but let's not get into historical accuracy in a fantasy game)

[jintoya]

* stuff the DMpc's cigar full of black powder

* "Solve" problem pc issues by (if it's me) swan diving of a cliff and submitting a new character for approval or (if it isn't me) assisting another pc in a "lesson in momentum mitigation"

* Telling the warforged "yes, you beat that rust monster, but you're still a wuss compared to the rust dragon" and egging him on to fight it

* Doing anything John Cena does to rile up a crowd before turning on ghost sound and ruining any semblance of immersion
** Especially mid-fight

* Rolling a spot to find "the hot orc"
** Insisting the DM tell me if I succeeded
*** When the DM confirms it, I won't buy her a drink "from our party's Bard/Paladin/[face character]" just to see what happens.

* My primary goal for half the session should not be set-up for shenanigans
** Even if it's really funny

* I'm not allowed to upstage the Bard with a surprise performance of "somebody kill me please" from The Wedding Singer starring Adam Sandler

* The best distraction is always a 7' orc barbarian in a tutu, but I should not always resort to it first.
** I may no longer convince the orc that it's "magic distraction chants" or "warpaint of intimidation"

* Rolling a 1 on failing does not mean I succeeded

[Guizonde]

* My primary goal for half the session should not be set-up for shenanigans
** Even if it's really funny

you too? bummer...

* The best distraction is always a 7' orc barbarian in a tutu, but I should not always resort to it first.

not true. you're thinking of an exploding 7' orc barbarian in a tutu. i've yet to find something that makes even blind men do googly eyes better than that. also, don't look at the explosion, you've got shenanigans to do.

[jintoya]

you too? bummer...



not true. you're thinking of an exploding 7' orc barbarian in a tutu. i've yet to find something that makes even blind men do googly eyes better than that. also, don't look at the explosion, you've got shenanigans to do.

Exploding..... Hmm, tome to begin compiling a list if things that explode without killing the barbarian.... Or tutu (you know how hard it is to find one that barely fits him?!) Because: unlimited reloads

[Laughing Dog]

*creating characters that have an effectively permanent +50% chance to hit/avoid is mean.
**Having said characters being given heavy armor and a horse is rude.
***Naming the character leading them after Erwin Rommel is not to happen.

*If, on the bizarre chance that a GM crazy enough to run a Tabletop Fire Emblem campaign with the mechanics being based on Awakening and is willing to allow versions of Skills from different games exists; I am by no means to create a character with as high a luck cap as possible, Armsthrift, PoR version of Miracle, and Despoil. Functionally immortal characters are bad form. Giving that character the ability to turn enemies into gold and never break weapon again is just wrong.

Spoiler: Explanation

Show

Miracle in Fire emblem Path of Radiance Had a percent chance based on the characters luck. If that character would ever go below 1 hp miracle could activate and instead keep them at 1 hp. In Fire Emblem Awakening, Miracle will not activate if the character is at 1 hp. It is also possible in Awakening to create a character with an effective luck score of 100. Armsthrift creates a chance to not use up a weapon's use. Despoil gives the character a chance to spawn a small bullion (worth 1000 gold) upon attacking and killing an enemy. Armsthrift, Despoil, and Miracle are all percentile chances based on the character's luck score.

[LordCdrMilitant]

***Naming the character leading them after Erwin Rommel is not to happen.

Yeah. That might be on the line of tacky.

[jintoya]

* when my DM let's me play a character who comes back from the dead, I should not use explosives as clothing "just in case"

* When the question I consider for a tender/tense/important moment is "what would Bugs Bunny, the Warner Brothers, Beetlejuice or freakazoid do?" It's time to consult the DM before my next action

*I am no longer allowed in the throne room
** Especially during an emergency

* No more buying walnuts to make an irritating joke with (hint: "Deez")

* it's in bad form to see how similar my backstory can be to a real life evil dictator before the DM goes "this sounds familiar"
** I should not also take leadership
*** After the game, if I got away with it, I'm not allowed to show everyone who "Uncle Joe" was actually....the whole time.

* Orchestrating elaborate plots should be the job of the DM
** When I am thrown a plot hook, my first instinct should not be too see how strong the "line" is, be a good fish for once!

* Giving myself a high AC should not be "so the party can't hit me"
** Impersonating the bad guy is best done when the rest of the party knows you are doing it.

* I shouldn't ever be running around covering myself with only a live (and rather distraught) chicken

* I'm not allowed to point out to the paladin that "it's always alright when you do it" (referring to murder or trespassing)

[Anonymouswizard]

* If I describe my character concept as 'sane' it is expected that my character have hands.
** A basic understanding of human society is also ideal.
*** As would be a way to communicate with the rest of the party.

* All rabbits must obey the speed limit.
** Once I've got a handle on the laws of society my character can sniff at the laws of physics.

[Katrina]

Scion 2E:
* Using the Trickster knacks to make doppelgangers should not be used to become the villain of another Band's campaign.
* I should really learn to supress the giggling fits when the gm gives me "that look".
* The Gm should have saw it coming when my first Legendary title was "Thief of Power" and his enemies were using magic rings to escape.
*Convincing everyone that I stole the Moon's chariot to cover for Loki will go poorly for me eventually.

Pathfinder:
* Curse of Burning Sleep is not a prank.

[danielxcutter]

Pathfinder:
* Curse of Burning Sleep is not a prank.

...Okay, what does that do?

[Guizonde]

Pathfinder:
* Curse of Burning Sleep is not a prank.

**neither are explosive runes.
*** especially on underwear or socks.

[Anonymouswizard]

**neither are explosive runes.
*** especially on underwear or socks.

**** Especially not on every page of the wizard's spellbound.

[Telok]

I am no longer allowed to put a perfectly reasonable and normal Elven Imperial Navy hostile space supply depot, with a perfectly reasonable number of regular troops, on the same planet that the PCs are going to for pirate hunting.

I am no longer allowed to forget that my players alignments are 'greedy/stabby' regardless of what alignment their characters are.

I am no longer allowed massed automatic weapons and grenades in 60 meter long bare concrete corridors.

[Katrina]

...Okay, what does that do?

It is a spell that pretends to do nothing when you first cast it. It sits on the target, waiting until an hour after he has gone to sleep. Then he bursts into flame, taking up to 8d6 fire damage and setting him on fire.

The Gm did not appreciate it for the big bad's cameo.