The Order of the Stick: Utterly Dwarfed
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    Quote Originally Posted by John Campbell View Post
    They're doing it for the greater good! There's a finite amount of diamond, especially easily accessible diamond, on the Prime Material, and every time someone casts a raise dead, resurrection, or restoration spell, some of it is permanently and irrevocably destroyed. But the amount needed for material components is determined by value, not by mass, so by artificially inflating the price of diamond, DeBeerds reduces the actual amount of it required for casting spells, and so helps to stave off "peak diamond".

    DeBeerds also sponsors most of the legendary dwarven gemcutters, whose art likewise increases the price per weight of diamond.

    Next time you die, and the cleric only needs a couple of fancy cut stones to bring you back instead of a bushel basket full of carbon gravel, you can thank DeBeerds.
    Well, Plane Shifting to the Elemental Plane of Earth could work...
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  2. - Top - End - #272
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    * If I contract to harvest dragon parts for components, the dragon should probably be dead first.
    ** I would be wise not to go after parts from the two oldest dragons on the planet.
    *** I probably shouldn't make befriending the dragons my opening move.
    **** If I do, I should not prioritize befriending the red dragon over the gold.
    ***** Neither should the party paladin.
    ****** Getting brought into the invitation-only magical long-range chat network (thanks magic rings) between these two dragons and a top-tier campaign villain is not ideal dragon-part-harvesting strategy.
    ******* I should not freak out said red dragon so much that that I get a permanent bonus to intimidate against him.
    ******** That goes double for freaking out the red dragon WHEN HE'S STONED.
    ********* It is both bad dragon-harvesting strategy and bad dragon-befriending strategy to occupy a superposition between "too useful to eat" and "too irritating not to eat" titled "Shroedinger's squishy wizard".
    ********** At no point should I actually TELL the great wyrm red dragon that I have a contract to collect one of his body parts.
    *********** If I drone on and on and on about it long enough over our communication rings, the red dragon will not teleport to my position, pluck out his own eyeball, hand it too me, get regeneration cast on him, and teleport away just to avoid further irritation.
    ************ HOW THE HELL DID THAT WORK????
    ************* Wizards are no longer allowed to have +43 to diplomacy checks at level 15 (pathfinder).
    ************* The next(!) time I have a great wyrm red dragon teleport into the heavily-armed military camp of my host (also a befriended top-tier villain) on a peaceful mission of organ donation, I AM TO GIVE MY HOST WARNING.
    ************* Though it's a proven strategy in this campaign, "Unpredictable people are hard to assassinate" does not come anywhere near fully explaining why I'm not dead yet.
    Last edited by Reltzik; 2019-03-03 at 01:21 AM.
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  3. - Top - End - #273
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    Quote Originally Posted by Telok View Post
    * I am no longer allowed to refer to the "Curse of Strahd" D&D adventure as 'a low budget Paranoia ripoff'.

    ** Certainly not allowed to name D&D characters something like 'FireFred-BURN-3'.
    * When DMing D&D 3.5, I may not announce character death with "Friend Computer activates your next clone"
    ** Unless it's Tomb of Horrors -- then it's just a sensible time-saver.

    i actually employed that to get out of an encounter that went pear-shaped for us. we were playing whfrp2e and were in a bakery...
    * When DMing, if my players unexpectedly break into a shop, I will not ask them what sort of shop it is
    ** If they say "a bakery", I will not just run with it
    *** If I do, I will worry more about flour storage, and less about setting-appropriate pastries
    **** Seriously, though, what kind of pastries do you make when your only convenient fats are olives and walnuts? I never did figure it out.

    (both from actual games I DMed)

  4. - Top - End - #274
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    Quote Originally Posted by dspeyer View Post
    * When DMing D&D 3.5, I may not announce character death with "Friend Computer activates your next clone"
    ** Unless it's Tomb of Horrors -- then it's just a sensible time-saver.



    * When DMing, if my players unexpectedly break into a shop, I will not ask them what sort of shop it is
    ** If they say "a bakery", I will not just run with it
    *** If I do, I will worry more about flour storage, and less about setting-appropriate pastries
    **** Seriously, though, what kind of pastries do you make when your only convenient fats are olives and walnuts? I never did figure it out.

    (both from actual games I DMed)
    You can use olive oil instead of butter in quite a lot of pastry. Puff pastry would be difficult (albeit probably not impossible), but pie crusts, cookies, cakes, etc. are all options. Walnut oil probably would work about the same.

    I’m very curious about a place large enough to have multiple shops, but has no access to animal fats. No butter, ok, no dairy critters. But surely there’s some kind of critter with fat on it that could be used for cooking.
    Last edited by JAL_1138; 2019-03-06 at 12:31 AM.
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  5. - Top - End - #275
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    Quote Originally Posted by JAL_1138 View Post
    You can use olive oil instead of butter in quite a lot of pastry. Puff pastry would be difficult (albeit probably not impossible), but pie crusts, cookies, cakes, etc. are all options. Walnut oil probably would work about the same.
    * If my list of banned topics include physics, chemistry, narrative structure, and baking, I am to tone down the shenanigans.
    Last edited by Anonymouswizard; 2019-03-03 at 07:33 AM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

  6. - Top - End - #276
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard View Post
    * If my list of banned topics include physics, chemistry, narrative structure, and baking, I am to tone down the shenanigans.
    weakling. i got "kicks and giggles" banned by a very psychorigid dm. good thing most dm's i play with actually enjoy my shenanigans.

    ... except that one time with the exploding goat demon, but frankly, that was an accident.
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    regarding my choice of sustenance:
    Quote Originally Posted by Raimun View Post
    I'm going to judge you.
    My judgement is: That is awesome.
    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    GM: “If it doesn't move and it should, use duct tape. If it moves and it shouldn't, use a shotgun.”
    dm is Miltonian, credit where credit is due.

    when in doubt,
    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard View Post
    Ask the beret wearing insect men of Athas.

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    Quote Originally Posted by Guizonde View Post
    weakling. i got "kicks and giggles" banned by a very psychorigid dm. good thing most dm's i play with actually enjoy my shenanigans.

    ... except that one time with the exploding goat demon, but frankly, that was an accident.
    I needed an encounter for a Dungeons the Dragoning 40k game today. Now I need to stat up exploding goat demons.

    Thank you.
    Niven's Laws, #5
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  8. - Top - End - #278
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    *The phrase "My Only Weapon is Love" should not fill the Players with Terror.
    I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.

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    Quote Originally Posted by zimmerwald1915 View Post
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  9. - Top - End - #279
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    Quote Originally Posted by Rater202 View Post
    *The phrase "My Only Weapon is Love" should not fill the Players with Terror.
    ** If a player is feeling terror when having less than 50 weapons on itself then maybe you should not ask how many weapons his character is using.
    ***If the answer is "I lost count here read the excell spreadsheet" or "My only weapon is love" then the gm is not supposed to be scared either.
    Last edited by noob; 2019-03-03 at 04:18 PM.

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    Quote Originally Posted by Telok View Post
    I needed an encounter for a Dungeons the Dragoning 40k game today. Now I need to stat up exploding goat demons.

    Thank you.
    i'm not saying you shouldn't have exploding goat demons in your game. all i'm saying is if you encounter a greater demon lord bound inside the body of an irate goat, don't feed it consecrated gunpowder and holy alchemist's fire to solve the problem is what i'm saying.

    my group's paladin still hates me for that stunt, especially since whenever i pop explosives in pathfinder, it tends to solve most pesky problems like ecounters, interrogations, chase sequences, or the plot. the fact that this one time it actually worsened the problem is really unfortunate, and as stated before, an accident. i only had 5 lbs of gunpowder to feed the malevolent goat.
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    regarding my choice of sustenance:
    Quote Originally Posted by Raimun View Post
    I'm going to judge you.
    My judgement is: That is awesome.
    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    GM: “If it doesn't move and it should, use duct tape. If it moves and it shouldn't, use a shotgun.”
    dm is Miltonian, credit where credit is due.

    when in doubt,
    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard View Post
    Ask the beret wearing insect men of Athas.

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    Quote Originally Posted by Guizonde View Post
    i'm not saying you shouldn't have exploding goat demons in your game. all i'm saying is if you encounter a greater demon lord bound inside the body of an irate goat, don't feed it consecrated gunpowder and holy alchemist's fire to solve the problem is what i'm saying.

    my group's paladin still hates me for that stunt, especially since whenever i pop explosives in pathfinder, it tends to solve most pesky problems like ecounters, interrogations, chase sequences, or the plot. the fact that this one time it actually worsened the problem is really unfortunate, and as stated before, an accident. i only had 5 lbs of gunpowder to feed the malevolent goat.
    For plot there is a paladin spell that involves less explosions than explosives yet allows swift evasion from plot.

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    *I may not use If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device as inspiration for WH40K games.
    Last edited by danielxcutter; 2019-03-04 at 05:05 AM.
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    Quote Originally Posted by danielxcutter View Post
    *I may not use If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device as inspiration for WH40K games.
    ** May not insist that it's the actual canon, especially if I'm not the GM.
    *** Especially as I know that the Fabulous Custodes have finally been retconned.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

  14. - Top - End - #284
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    Quote Originally Posted by danielxcutter View Post
    Well, Plane Shifting to the Elemental Plane of Earth could work...
    And crash the price of diamonds with infinite supply, thus ensuring that no one can get resurrected, because no one can carry enough diamonds to do it? Stopping things like that is exactly why DeBeerds exists!

    * I am not allowed to talk about economics.
    Play your character, not your alignment.

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    *May not propose a setting where there are innately an infinite amount of diamonds with their value being set based on a unit that is measurd as "how many diamonds does it cost to riase, ressurect, and true ressurect someone.
    I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.

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    Quote Originally Posted by zimmerwald1915 View Post
    Meteor
    You are a meteor
    Falling star
    You soar your
    Way down the air
    To the floor
    Where my other
    Rocks
    Are.

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    * May no longer skimp on resurrections by attempting to use graphite instead of diamonds.
    Snazzy avatar (now back! ) by Honest Tiefling.

    RIP Laser-Snail, may you live on in our hearts forever.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

  17. - Top - End - #287
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    *May not propose a setting where there are innately an infinite amount of diamonds with their value being set based on a unit that is measurd as "how many diamonds does it cost to riase, ressurect, and true ressurect someone.
    That might be very close to how it actually works...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rater202 View Post
    *May not propose a setting where there are innately an infinite amount of diamonds with their value being set based on a unit that is measurd as "how many diamonds does it cost to riase, ressurect, and true ressurect someone.
    Even if there is an infinity of diamonds the cost of getting the diamonds within your hands is not zero so even if diamond was as common as dirt the cost of getting a small mountain of diamonds within your hands would be superior to the cost of the fancy Resurrection and so you could perform it with those diamonds that have the extra value of being usable for casting the spell due to being in your hands.
    At worst you can just add artistic value on the diamonds by paying 25000 gp for an artist to just sit near a furnace and melt the gold coins for "getting inspiration" in deciding how to cut the diamonds.

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    * The concepts "reckless, enraged grizzly bear" and "nonlethal attack" are not compatible.
    Quote Originally Posted by Toby Frost
    `This is just the beginning, Citizens! Today we have boiled a pot who's steam shall be seen across the entire galaxy. The Tea Must Flow, and it shall! The banner of the British Space Empire will be unfurled across a thousand worlds, carried forth by the citizens of Urn, and before them the Tea shall flow like a steaming brown river of shi-*cough*- shimmering moral fibre!`

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    I can't start as a carp-totem lunar and become a dragon totem by climbing to the top of a waterfall.
    I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.

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    Quote Originally Posted by zimmerwald1915 View Post
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    * My Lunar is not a literal social butterfly
    ** Iscomay is not "Bear Flavored Realm"
    *** His name is "Ul of the Burning Eye" not "Old Man Genocide Lunar", he gets annoyed when you call him that, stop it.
    **** no matter how accurate a descriptor that actually is.

    * I am not a fan of Raksi, she eats babies!
    ** Yes she has made one of the greatest most advanced cities of the second age with running water, education, bureaucracy, a standing army, districts and so on, but she still eats babies!
    *** Yes Raksi is a massive troll and its hilarious but SHE STILL EATS BABIES!
    **** Eating babies is not allowed to be a plus in my book. No matter how annoying babies are.
    ***** "whats so bad about Raksi?" is not a question I should ever ask again.

    * I am not to hug The Caul and call it an adorable landchild.
    ** the fact that its Gaias and Lunas love child is beside the point, its still a dangerous ever shifting landscape.
    *** I am not to constantly introduce everyone to Sha'a Oka by shouting "ATTENTION EVERYONE! IIIITS TIME FOR....HIS! DIVINE! LUUUUNAAAAR PRESEEEEENCE!!" unless it before a crowd he is to make a speech.

    * May not constantly quote "Whoever fights with monsters should see to it that he does not become a monster in the process. And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you." during Silver Pact meetings
    ** No matter how accurate it is about the Silver Pact.
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    Quote Originally Posted by Rater202 View Post
    I can't start as a carp-totem lunar and become a dragon totem by climbing to the top of a waterfall.
    Stop using good evidence and logic that makes sense to refute points, that's my job
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    Quote Originally Posted by Personification View Post
    imgur blocked GITP, so...
    I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.

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    Quote Originally Posted by zimmerwald1915 View Post
    Meteor
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    To the floor
    Where my other
    Rocks
    Are.

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    Quote Originally Posted by JAL_1138 View Post
    You can use olive oil instead of butter in quite a lot of pastry. Puff pastry would be difficult (albeit probably not impossible), but pie crusts, cookies, cakes, etc. are all options. Walnut oil probably would work about the same.

    I’m very curious about a place large enough to have multiple shops, but has no access to animal fats. No butter, ok, no dairy critters. But surely there’s some kind of critter with fat on it that could be used for cooking.
    Some sort of vegan society might not. Certainly could apply to some flavours (heh) of elves or potentially human societies too.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rater202 View Post
    imgur blocked GITP, so...
    An animated image of a MagiCarp (MagicKarp?) Magikarp evolving into Rakydos Gyarados (water dragon). I''m certain a pokemon expert can set me straight if I'm mistaken. Thanks to TheTeaMustFlow for setting me straight!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Torath View Post
    An animated image of a MagiCarp (MagicKarp?) evolving into Rakydos (water dragon). I''m certain a pokemon expert can set me straight if I'm mistaken.
    Almost - Magikarp evolving into Gyarados.
    Quote Originally Posted by Toby Frost
    `This is just the beginning, Citizens! Today we have boiled a pot who's steam shall be seen across the entire galaxy. The Tea Must Flow, and it shall! The banner of the British Space Empire will be unfurled across a thousand worlds, carried forth by the citizens of Urn, and before them the Tea shall flow like a steaming brown river of shi-*cough*- shimmering moral fibre!`

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    * My initial description of D&D to newcomers should not be "the game where I got knocked out by a table and then killed by a rug" even if that happened. Especially if that happened.

    * If I am given a magic crystal that ultimately wiped out an island nation, I should ask more questions when given a second crystal. Especially if I am neither evil nor chaotic.

    * If my wizard deals direct damage precisely one time when going from levels 4 to 10, I am doing something very, very wrong.

    * If a 5e halfling re-rolls a natural 1 on a perception check and rolls a 1 again, he has not, in fact, gone blind.

    * A recap of the previous session for a player who missed it should take significantly less time than the session itself.

    * Getting turned to stone by a basilisk is not "Karma" for stealing the paladin's kills.

    * Just because you think you've triggered every single trap in the campaign so far doesn't mean you should give up attempting to solve the puzzles.

    * A performance check of 25 to play the "Ghostbusters" theme still does not have a significant effect on the combat when fighting a ghost.

    * Deciding how to spend 10 starting GP should not take up the lion's share of character creation.

    * Attempting to intimidate a dragon after missing it three times in a row is unlikely to have much effect. Especially at level 1.

    * If our party's inability to focus fire on enemies turned the last 3 encounters into near TPKs, The first round of the next combat probably shouldn't complete without a single player attacking the same enemy as the player before them.

  28. - Top - End - #298
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Anonymouswizard's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    * Johnsons do not connect with Shadowrunners over online dating sites.
    Snazzy avatar (now back! ) by Honest Tiefling.

    RIP Laser-Snail, may you live on in our hearts forever.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

  29. - Top - End - #299
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    DeTess's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard View Post
    * Johnsons do not connect with Shadowrunners over online dating sites.
    **My character shouldn't be better at being a Johnson than the actual Johnson.
    ***Not even when the actual Johnson is either malicious or incompetent.
    ****Reusing that character as the Johnson for pretty much every oneshot I end up GMing afterwards is pretty much fine though.
    Jasnah avatar by Zea Mays

  30. - Top - End - #300
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    Quote Originally Posted by Randuir View Post
    **My character shouldn't be better at being a Johnson than the actual Johnson.
    ***Not even when the actual Johnson is either malicious or incompetent.
    ****Reusing that character as the Johnson for pretty much every oneshot I end up GMing afterwards is pretty much fine though.
    Fun fact, the only Shadowrun campaign I have run so far included not a single betrayal by the Johnson. There was one or two cases of Johnsons not having or giving all the information, but for the most part they were honest.

    It worked brilliantly, made the players even more paranoid waiting for the betrayal.
    Snazzy avatar (now back! ) by Honest Tiefling.

    RIP Laser-Snail, may you live on in our hearts forever.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

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