Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permission

[DeTess]

Fun fact, the only Shadowrun campaign I have run so far included not a single betrayal by the Johnson. There was one or two cases of Johnsons not having or giving all the information, but for the most part they were honest.

It worked brilliantly, made the players even more paranoid waiting for the betrayal.

Yeah, I tend to have my Johnsons be mostly on the up-and-up as well. If you can't trust them at least 90% of the time, there's no reason to deal with them at all, and it makes the betrayals that do happen hit harder, rather than just being another 'sudden yet inevitable betrayal'.

[Anonymouswizard]

Yeah, I tend to have my Johnsons be mostly on the up-and-up as well. If you can't trust them at least 90% of the time, there's no reason to deal with them at all, and it makes the betrayals that do happen hit harder, rather than just being another 'sudden yet inevitable betrayal'.

It's actually rather obviously how they're supposed to be run (at least in 3e, I dropped 5e after noticing the game had shifted more towards promoting Pink Mohawk). I mean, in a one shot the betrayal is expected, it's much more shocking to me there if the Johnson is completely honest and keeps their end of the bargain, but in an ongoing campaign you actually need the ability to trust your Johnsons. Especially as I like to buy a few contacts, and will usually have somebody marked as a regular Johnson. Deckmeister or Mechanic, Fixer, Friend on the Force, Johnson, Friend in a Mega, others, that's my normal priority in contacts.

Honestly got an itch to try out vehicle riggers next time I play Shadowrun, my feckers normally have a modded car or bike but having a host of souped up vehicles and a control rig sounds like fun

[JAL_1138]

**My character shouldn't be better at being a Johnson than the actual Johnson.
***Not even when the actual Johnson is either malicious or incompetent.
****Reusing that character as the Johnson for pretty much every oneshot I end up GMing afterwards is pretty much fine though.

*****Absolutely may not name my character “Johnson” just to create confusion in discussions.
******My character, Johnson, must understand what the term “Johnson” means in Shadowrun and not be constantly confused about it.
*******My character named Johnson must adopt a runner-name and cease answering to Johnson, and must do so without any kvetching along the lines of “Why do I have to change my name, when you could just call the employer ‘Smith’ instead?”

[Rater202]

*May not routinely kill and rob the Johnsons after each run while making it look like a suicide.

[noob]

*May not routinely kill and rob the Johnsons after each run while making it look like a suicide.

** This is not because I am supposed to kill and rob the Johnson before the run for not being inevitably betrayed.
*** If the Johnson attacks you before giving you a mission technically it is not a betrayal.

[Rater202]

*I can't play a Dragonborn of Bahamut who uses a ring of regeneration to survive repeatedly skinning myself alive to slowly outfit the king's guard with dragonscale armor.

[Khaiel]

*: "Killmarine" is not an allowed choice of weapon when challanged to a duel.
**: The same goes for Orbital Bombardment.
***: If I challenge someone to a duel and they choose swords for weapons I may not then choose guns.
****: If I ask for the right to be represented by a Champion, it is generally understood that said Champion will be a duellist of some kind, and not an Errant Imperial Knight.
*****: The Errant Knight's name is not Shinji.
******: The voices in his head do not, in fact, tell him to "GET IN THE EMPEROR-DAMNED KNIGHT!"
*******: I am not allowed to give "useful notes" to the Tech Priest player that turn out to be extremely lame puns about programming jargon.
********: The Rite of Awakening for an ancient Dreadnought does not consist of shouting "HEY YOU DUMB****, IT'S ALREADY PAST NOON, GET YOUR LIFE TOGETHER!"

I love playing Rogue Trader.

[Guizonde]

I love playing Rogue Trader.

rogue trader: 50% scamming idiots, 50% pant-wetting terror. 100% fun.

[Anonymouswizard]

* I must stop complaining about the cost of a (dumb) mobile phone.
** No, it is not stupid that implanted fingerblades cost less.
*** If we're going to play in the future-80s I am to accept the weird pricing.

[Guizonde]

* no telling the newbie player that bribing the dm "like, totally works dude. bring beer".
** no giving the newbie player "dutch courage" until he's completely sloshed.
*** even if he does become the most effective member of the group.
**** the fact that nobody understands what he's slurring is, in fact, detrimental to the cohesion of the group and it's efficacy.
***** despite proof of the contrary.

Spoiler: heretical context

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session zero of the campaign. we've got our usual suspects: VN, farren, and kaht. we've got VB as backup. if you binge the quotes thread, you'll find that VN is a doctor that solves his problems with c4, farren shoots through the fourth wall, kaht founded monsanto and VB is an extreme omnivore and a pc-controlled blunt weapon. of our two new players, one can't hold his drink, the other took a backseat to understand the universe. i guess the newbie tried to out-YOLO the usual suspects. he actually decapitated 4 people using a plastic door. the rest of the group just high-fived him and egged him on. i can't wait for the quotes and banned things this group will come up with. yes, we're all above drinking age. yes, we've got the impulse control of 12 year olds in a candy shop. no, we've got no concept of restraint, subtlety, or sensible ideas.

[Anonymouswizard]

* no telling the newbie player that bribing the dm "like, totally works dude. bring beer".

I've actually had a GM give out a pre-campaign questionaire (part of which was used to generate characters), which included the question 'willingness to brine GM (rate from one to ten)'.

I've had another group were bribing the GM was considered acceptable, but the GM was supposed to spread the reward amongst the group. In practice it worked more like 'GM doesn't buy their beer', but there were occasional trips to the bar to avoid TPK.

[TrashTrash]

* I may not spam my Intimidate in every situation, no matter how good my bonuses are.
** I also may not attempt to lie to lie detectors, no matter how good my bonuses are.

* I may not frame plot-relevant NPCs for crimes committed by my character, because the DM doesn't like to RP jailed shopkeepers screaming for justice every time we walk through a town.
** I may not insult nobility or city officials in Halfling, even if the person I'm insulting has no idea what I'm saying.
*** "I begin to meditate upside down" is not a valid use of an action in combat... anymore.

* I may not sell objects and then steal them back from the shop owner.
** I may not start arguments with fellow party members over whether or not they should organize their belongings in reverse alphabetical order, especially if my belongings are not organized that way.
*** I may not swear loudly at angry dragons in Halfling.

[Rater202]

*I can't challenge the devil to a round of Guitar Hero for the fate of the party's souls.

[CrazyPenguin]

*I can't challenge the devil to a round of Guitar Hero for the fate of the party's souls.

Yeah, he prefers the fiddle.

*I will not be the party face if I have Charisma 7
**Especially when the Charisma 20 sorcerer is standing right next to me

*I will not jump into the mouth of a purple worm
**Not even if I can explode once I'm inside
***Especially if I'm needed to pilot our crab mech to fight the worm

*If I find the barbarian lying in a pool of his own blood, I will heal him
**Saying "Wow, sucks to be him" and walking past is not the same as healing

*I will not stalk other party members

*I will not cast shatter on stealth missions

*I am not allowed to use the mayonnaise function of an alchemy jug

*My animal companion is not the party's leader
**Nor is she the captain of our crab mech
***Not even if I get her awakened
****My awakened animal companion is not "just a way to say all of my out-of-character insults in-character"

*"The barbarian's face" is not an adequate replacement for a rogue
**"You're right, we need his arms to break down doors" is not the issue here
***"Having the barbarian go first" and "checking for traps" are not the same thing, period

[Guizonde]

*"Having the barbarian go first" and "checking for traps" are not the same thing, period

** goes for throwing live animals, too.
*** goes for throwing the monk, too.
**** goes without saying for throwing the rogue.
***** rocket launchers, powder kegs, alchemical fire, alchemical bombs, and shotguns are not the same thing as rogue's tools when it comes to disarming traps and buildings.

yes, believe me, all that happened. my dm has since abandonned the idea of putting traps everywhere in favor of explosive runes. in which case i cast create water to scrub it away.

[JAL_1138]

*Not allowed to bail the party out of an imminent TPK by having a large, bald, tattooed man—wearing scale armor, wielding a greatsword, and carrying a hamster—run onto the battlefield at full tilt screaming [insert Minsc quote here], behead enough enemies the party is likely to survive the encounter, and then continue running until he’s out of sight.
**Especially in a Star Wars game.

[Telok]

* Twenty-ish years on I am still (I called and asked) not allowed to have Sir Bacon II, heir to the infamous Sir Bacon the Trapfinding Pig. Famed for having Con score because the cleric kept raising him, becoming a zombie when he ran out of Con, then a skeleton when he ran out of flesh, and we were shot down on trying to pursue lichdom for him.

[Anonymouswizard]

*Not allowed to bail the party out of an imminent TPK by having a large, bald, tattooed man—wearing scale armor, wielding a greatsword, and carrying a hamster—run onto the battlefield at full tilt screaming [insert Minsc quote here], behead enough enemies the party is likely to survive the encounter, and then continue running until he’s out of sight.
**Especially in a Star Wars game.

*** I may not see nothing wrong with this.

* It doesn't matter if it's not Shadowrun, I'm not allowed to call any Cyberpunk characters 'Johnson'.
** The goal of the game is not to hit 1 Humanity.
*** Especially if I'm the face.

* Creating a Netrunner is bad enough. Setting up my deck to turtle it's easy through security systems will get my character lynched.

[TheTeaMustFlow]

* Bigby's Invisible Hand is not a real spell.
** Neither is Smith's, for that matter.

* The first PVP in the game should not be entirely accidental.
** As DM, having the enemy use concealment effects to trick the PCs into friendly fire is unsporting.
*** Giggling incessantly while doing it is even more so. Even if it was entirely their own fault for trying to fight water weirds in their own pool in the first place.

[SunderedWorldDM]

*Must not try and convince the resident archmage that the reason for my character's face pigmentation is because a halfling pirate crapped on my face. (I had to DM for this. It wasn't fun, I can assure you of that.)

[Personification]

* Bigby's Invisible Hand is not a real spell.

**The same goes for Bigby's Hand to God
***Also Bigby's Clap Your Hands if You Believe

[JAL_1138]

*May not name my cyberpunk character “CJ Notned.”
**”Mada Nesnej” is right out.
***I did, in fact, ask for this, and I am to refrain from assertions to the contrary.
****Must actually play the Deus Ex series if I’m going to make these kinds of references.

[Malak'ai]

**The same goes for Bigby's Hand to God
***Also Bigby's Clap Your Hands if You Believe

****Bigby's Middle Finger of Anger is not located on any spell list I've ever seen.
*****Nor is Bigby's Thumb of Approval.
******Bigby's Devil Fingers of Rock On might be cool for fluff, not you're still not allowed it.
******* Nor are you allowed Bigby's Gib Slapping Hand.
********Or Bigby's Face Palm of Frustration.
********And you're especially not allowed Bigby's Semi Curled Little Finger of Insinuation when making jokes about the endowment of the BBEG.

[Guizonde]

****Bigby's Middle Finger of Anger is not located on any spell list I've ever seen.
*****Nor is Bigby's Thumb of Approval.
******Bigby's Devil Fingers of Rock On might be cool for fluff, not you're still not allowed it.
******* Nor are you allowed Bigby's Gib Slapping Hand.
********Or Bigby's Face Palm of Frustration.
********And you're especially not allowed Bigby's Semi Curled Little Finger of Insinuation when making jokes about the endowment of the BBEG.

********* bigby's dope slap, as useful as it would be, does not exist, unfortunately.
********** although with enough bending of the rules could be done with spectral hand.
*********** no using spectral hand to dope slap.

[Anonymouswizard]

*May not name my cyberpunk character “CJ Notned.”
**”Mada Nesnej” is right out.
***I did, in fact, ask for this, and I am to refrain from assertions to the contrary.
****Must actually play the Deus Ex series if I’m going to make these kinds of references.

***** Must stop referring to Deus Ex protagonists as 'underpowered slowpokes without any useful cyberwear'.
****** Even if they don't have a reaction enhancer between them.

* My character cannot have several kids because they 'couldn't afford the humanity loss for the implant'.
** If my character does have kids they're supposed to care about them, not ignore the GM putting them in danger.
*** Children are not legal tender.

[Braininthejar2]

********* bigby's dope slap, as useful as it would be, does not exist, unfortunately.

I'm pretty sure there is a Bigby spell that dope slaps the enemy wizard whenever he starts casting.

[DeTess]

I'm pretty sure there is a Bigby spell that dope slaps the enemy wizard whenever he starts casting.

Yep, Bigby's disrupting hand, in PHB2.

[Rater202]

*** Children are not legal tender.

*May not open a restaurant selling long-veal tenderloin. ("Made from scratch by mean the Missus.")
**In general, may not sell my own children as food.

[Guizonde]

*May not open a restaurant selling long-veal tenderloin. ("Made from scratch by mean the Missus.")
**In general, may not sell my own children as food.

in the french fantasy webradio-play and comic book (and later board game and pen and paper) dungeon of naheulbeuk, there is a tribe of leek-people. i'm pretty sure that those children count as produce.

also:

*it's spelled "orphanage", not "all-you-can-eat buffet".

[Rater202]

in the french fantasy webradio-play and comic book (and later board game and pen and paper) dungeon of naheulbeuk, there is a tribe of leek-people. i'm pretty sure that those children count as produce.

also:

*it's spelled "orphanage", not "all-you-can-eat buffet".

*The game is over when someone segues from eating children to a "steamed hams" joke.