The Order of the Stick: Utterly Dwarfed
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  1. - Top - End - #91
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    BardGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    *Not allowed to use any name featured in the closing credits of Car Talk.
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    JAL_1138: Founding Member of the Paranoid Adventurer's Guild.
    Quote Originally Posted by TeChameleon View Post
    - If it's something mortals were not meant to know, I've already found six different ways to blow myself and/or someone else up with it.
    Gnomish proverb


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  2. - Top - End - #92
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    When asked how to cope with depression:
    1. Get fifty feet of Horse-Hair rope, a handgun with no bullets, a goat, and a straight-razor that's honed and sharpened as close as it gets and has never cut human skin.
    2. Then, while reciting the prayer to Yog-Sothoth penned on the eighth page of the fifth chapter of the Necronomicon, sacrifice the goat by tying it up with the rope in sucha way that the knot forms a pentagram at it's back and slitting its throat with the razor.
    3. Baptize the hand-gun in the goat's blood while it's still warm, then sell it on Craigslist for five thousand dollars twice the combined cost of the rope, gun, razor, and goat--explain exactly what you did in the description.
    4. Use the profits to buy yourself something nice to take your mind off your troubles.

    Is not the answer they were looking for.
    I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.

    Read my fanfiction here.

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    Where my other
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  3. - Top - End - #93
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    Quote Originally Posted by Rater202 View Post
    When asked how to cope with depression:
    1. Get fifty feet of Horse-Hair rope, a handgun with no bullets, a goat, and a straight-razor that's honed and sharpened as close as it gets and has never cut human skin.
    2. Then, while reciting the prayer to Yog-Sothoth penned on the eighth page of the fifth chapter of the Necronomicon, sacrifice the goat by tying it up with the rope in sucha way that the knot forms a pentagram at it's back and slitting its throat with the razor.
    3. Baptize the hand-gun in the goat's blood while it's still warm, then sell it on Craigslist for five thousand dollars twice the combined cost of the rope, gun, razor, and goat--explain exactly what you did in the description.
    4. Use the profits to buy yourself something nice to take your mind off your troubles.

    Is not the answer they were looking for.
    Is there is risks of slip up?
    ** May not say that elder mythos stuff are bright beacons of hope and proof entropy can be defeated.
    *** If my gm says that entropy can not be defeated by elder mythos stuff I might not conclude summoning any elder ancient is entirely impossible because summoning on its own is able to defeat the increase in entropy(there is ways to gain energy from the displacement of mass due to summoning).
    ****If I kill insert elder ancient name by having 50000 people far away from each other who spam summon it until it have no energy left and die then it is excepted if I get stroke by lightning.
    Last edited by noob; 2018-12-04 at 07:09 AM.

  4. - Top - End - #94
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    BardGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    *There is no great sage “Errata-tosthenes” who has definitive proof that physical and metaphysical laws have changed over time.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Safety Sword View Post
    JAL_1138: Founding Member of the Paranoid Adventurer's Guild.
    Quote Originally Posted by TeChameleon View Post
    - If it's something mortals were not meant to know, I've already found six different ways to blow myself and/or someone else up with it.
    Gnomish proverb


    I use blue text for silliness and/or sarcasm. Do not take anything I say in blue text seriously, except for this sentence and the one preceding it.

  5. - Top - End - #95
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    *Not allowed to use an illusion cantrip to terrify the town guards.

    ** Convincing them the town is about to be raided by drow any day now to build the paranoia is rude.

    ***Hiring local bandits and disguising them as drow to get them all killed for a laugh will force an alignment change.

    **** Changing it to illithids and gluing a bunch of squids to people's heads will spawn rocks right over my head.


  6. - Top - End - #96
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    * Yes, with the Receptacle power, gems can hold PSPs equal to their value/100gp.
    ** Yes, you can probably get a higher price for diamonds that are naturally glowing blue.
    *** Yes, that means they can hold more PSPs.
    **** Using your high charisma and your Barter and Fast Talk skills to raise the price of the glowing blue diamonds does NOT increase the amount of PSPs they can hold.
    ***** Look, the glowing blue part was just to make them look cool, not to give you a huge PSP storage device!
    Warhammer 40,000 Campaign Skirmish Game: Warpstrike
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  7. - Top - End - #97
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    *Asmodeus should not be the Big Good / Reasonable Authority Figure of the campaign.
    **Even if it does make some degree of sense due to the BBEG having a plan to harness/steal a significant portion of the power and divinity of Tharizdun that might actually work (or might blow up in his face in one of several horrible ways, most of which would also prove troublesome to the multiverse or at least Oerth, the worst of which being to free Tharizdun from his prison entirely), and Asmodeus having a vested interest in that not happening.
    Last edited by JAL_1138; 2018-12-05 at 05:06 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Safety Sword View Post
    JAL_1138: Founding Member of the Paranoid Adventurer's Guild.
    Quote Originally Posted by TeChameleon View Post
    - If it's something mortals were not meant to know, I've already found six different ways to blow myself and/or someone else up with it.
    Gnomish proverb


    I use blue text for silliness and/or sarcasm. Do not take anything I say in blue text seriously, except for this sentence and the one preceding it.

  8. - Top - End - #98
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    Quote Originally Posted by JAL_1138 View Post
    *Asmodeus should not be the Big Good / Reasonable Authority Figure of the campaign.
    **Even if it does make some degree of sense due to the BBEG having a plan to harness/steal a significant portion of the power and divinity of Tharizdun that might actually work (or might blow up in his face in one of several horrible ways, most of which would also prove troublesome to the multiverse or at least Oerth, the worst of which being to free Tharizdun from his prison entirely), and Asmodeus having a vested interest in that not happening.
    Actually, that sounds like a great campaign idea, and it also makes a good premise for a large number of tieflings and warlocks.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Torath View Post
    * Yes, with the Receptacle power, gems can hold PSPs equal to their value/100gp.
    ** Yes, you can probably get a higher price for diamonds that are naturally glowing blue.
    *** Yes, that means they can hold more PSPs.
    **** Using your high charisma and your Barter and Fast Talk skills to raise the price of the glowing blue diamonds does NOT increase the amount of PSPs they can hold.
    ***** Look, the glowing blue part was just to make them look cool, not to give you a huge PSP storage device!

    Well it also probably helps that if they are dun, it is harder to prove that they are real.
    Stop using good evidence and logic that makes sense to refute points, that's my job
    Lots of people seem to use blue for sarcasm, I decided I should too
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    Nitpick: I believe you'll find that only our heads explode. Page 43 of Book of Pedantic Forumites, if memory serves.
    I have joined the ranks of the FFRPeople Here is my character.

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  9. - Top - End - #99
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    Flumph

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    not me, but some of the dudes I dm

    *They may no longer force the dm to rewrite the campaign by pushing the high priest of the demogorgon into his own hell pit
    **They may no longer use wish to send the demogorgon to the far realm, once again forcing the dm to rewrite the campaign

    *they may no longer kill each other for "acting like a bad guy"
    **Even if said party member was plotting global domination
    ***they may not be surprised when the party member comes back as the new big bad

    *They may no longer kill the old lady who runs the magic shop
    **even if she has a magic ring
    ***even if the death is just a consequence of burning her shop to the ground
    ****They may no longer go to any magic shops run by old ladies

  10. - Top - End - #100
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    SamuraiGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    *Metagaming includes outdoing the wizards fireball with homemade explosives.
    **Trade goods should never be a part of your plans for destruction .
    ***YOU CAN DO WHAT WITH FLOUR?!?!

    Look into the Mill City Museum. Have fun, use wisely.

    *When kill cuthull is a middle step in your plan, something is wrong
    **If genocide is part of the plan, your morals need a checkup
    ***The gods are horrible is not a legitimate excuse
    ****That stands even if the target of the genocide is The Forgotten Realms pantheon.
    *****We are not playing Epic ever again!
    Last edited by JMS; 2018-12-07 at 06:04 PM.
    Game I am in:
    Giants and Graveyards Red Hand of Doom as Enn (3.5 Changeling Rogue//Dark template/Beguiler) using Grod's awesome Giants and Graveyards fixes
    Quote Originally Posted by Telonius View Post
    3.5 is the English Language of gaming.
    Folklore and the Evil Eye - A Guide to The Dreamscarred Press Malefex Class

  11. - Top - End - #101
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    BardGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    *Any plan that begins with “First, we’ll need to steal an Abrams tank” is vetoed.

    *Any plan that begins with “First, we make contact with Yog-Sothoth and ask it for more information” is vetoed.
    **Even if it kinda worked for Randolph Carter, up until he failed to heed the warnings ol’ Yoggy gave to memorize all the appropriate sigils and rituals.
    ***My Investigator doesn’t know that.
    ****May not refer to Yog-Sothoth as “ol’ Yoggy.”

    *Any plan that begins with “Well, I’ll need an accordion” is vetoed if I’m not playing a bard.
    **It is doubly vetoed if I am playing a bard.
    ***Nobody in Faerûn knows the Lancrastian Morris Men’s Stick-And-Bucket Dance and there are no rules to adapt it as an effective combat form.
    Last edited by JAL_1138; 2018-12-07 at 06:14 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Safety Sword View Post
    JAL_1138: Founding Member of the Paranoid Adventurer's Guild.
    Quote Originally Posted by TeChameleon View Post
    - If it's something mortals were not meant to know, I've already found six different ways to blow myself and/or someone else up with it.
    Gnomish proverb


    I use blue text for silliness and/or sarcasm. Do not take anything I say in blue text seriously, except for this sentence and the one preceding it.

  12. - Top - End - #102
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    Quote Originally Posted by JAL_1138 View Post
    *Any plan that begins with “First, we’ll need to steal an Abrams tank” is vetoed.
    you too? bummer, right?

    *Any plan that begins with “Well, I’ll need an accordion” is vetoed if I’m not playing a bard.
    **It is doubly vetoed if I am playing a bard.
    ***Nobody in Faerûn knows the Lancrastian Morris Men’s Stick-And-Bucket Dance and there are no rules to adapt it as an effective combat form.
    i'm still trying to get me a halfling war kazoo. don't feel too bad about the accordeon. i'm playing with a bard who uses bagpipes with a loaded mp3 player "for immersion".
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    regarding my choice of sustenance:
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    I'm going to judge you.
    My judgement is: That is awesome.
    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    GM: “If it doesn't move and it should, use duct tape. If it moves and it shouldn't, use a shotgun.”
    dm is Miltonian, credit where credit is due.

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  13. - Top - End - #103
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    Quote Originally Posted by Guizonde View Post
    i'm still trying to get me a halfling war kazoo. don't feel too bad about the accordeon. i'm playing with a bard who uses bagpipes with a loaded mp3 player "for immersion".
    I think there are options to put bayonets on certain instruments in a 3.5e or 3.0e sourcebook somewhere...
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  14. - Top - End - #104
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    Quote Originally Posted by danielxcutter View Post
    I think there are options to put bayonets on certain instruments in a 3.5e or 3.0e sourcebook somewhere...
    Complete Soundrel included hidden blades, one of which was the instrument blade.

    As written it was meand for Lutes and the like, and I no longer have the book, but I believe RAW the actual instrument didn't matter. I believe the blade itself counted as a dagger, although it might have been a shortsword.

    I actually quite liked the hidden blades, there were a nice selection and most of them used dagger stats, so a Rogue/Fighter could take Weapon Specialisation (Dagger), and have a bunch of places to hide a quickly deployed weapon. I kind of wish 5e would give rules for them, as it would definitely make me consider playing a Rogue (maybe Rogue/Bard).
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    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

  15. - Top - End - #105
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    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard View Post
    Complete Soundrel included hidden blades, one of which was the instrument blade.

    As written it was meand for Lutes and the like, and I no longer have the book, but I believe RAW the actual instrument didn't matter. I believe the blade itself counted as a dagger, although it might have been a shortsword.

    I actually quite liked the hidden blades, there were a nice selection and most of them used dagger stats, so a Rogue/Fighter could take Weapon Specialisation (Dagger), and have a bunch of places to hide a quickly deployed weapon. I kind of wish 5e would give rules for them, as it would definitely make me consider playing a Rogue (maybe Rogue/Bard).
    *A bard who was in a band and then left to play a completely different style of music is not a Rogue Bard.

  16. - Top - End - #106
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    * No longer allowed to do really weird off-the-wall magic crap where the DM has no clue what it will do to the villains, campaign world, metaphysics of magic, or plot.
    ** The DUNGEON MASTER is no longer allowed to come up with percentile tables to figure out what happens.
    *** He may not include a four percent chance of completely derailing his own campaign.
    **** The dicebot is no longer allowed to roll below 5 on a d100.
    ***** When all of this happens, we are not allowed to respond with "didn't you learn your lesson from the table that we talked you into adding a 1% chance of "landshark" to?"
    Alstroemeria and Shozin in Thrair's War of the Final Whisper.

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  17. - Top - End - #107
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mandark View Post
    *A bard who was in a band and then left to play a completely different style of music is not a Rogue Bard.
    **A bard may write a song insulting the second layer of the Nine Hells(if he can handle it), but if they call it a Dis track, it's vetoed.
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  18. - Top - End - #108
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    *The written Tabaxi language is not lolcat-speak.
    **A Tabaxi bard is not a lolcat, even if casting Tasha’s Hideous Laughter.

    *Don’t even think about making the Doge of Venice a meme doge.
    **So Venice, such republic, wow
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    Quote Originally Posted by Safety Sword View Post
    JAL_1138: Founding Member of the Paranoid Adventurer's Guild.
    Quote Originally Posted by TeChameleon View Post
    - If it's something mortals were not meant to know, I've already found six different ways to blow myself and/or someone else up with it.
    Gnomish proverb


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  19. - Top - End - #109
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    Quote Originally Posted by JAL_1138 View Post
    *The written Tabaxi language is not lolcat-speak.
    **A Tabaxi bard is not a lolcat, even if casting Tasha’s Hideous Laughter.
    What's a Tabaxi?

    *Don’t even think about making the Doge of Venice a meme doge.
    **So Venice, such republic, wow
    I require context for this too.
    Awesome custom psywar avatar made by Coronalwave. Thanks dude!

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  20. - Top - End - #110
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    Quote Originally Posted by danielxcutter View Post
    What's a Tabaxi?
    Tabaxi are catfolk.

    Quote Originally Posted by danielxcutter View Post
    I require context for this too.
    Historically, the title of the ruler of venice was 'Doge'. Doge is also the name of a particular kind of meme.
    Jasnah avatar by Zea Mays

  21. - Top - End - #111
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    Quote Originally Posted by Randuir View Post
    Tabaxi are catfolk.
    Oh, I get it.

    Historically, the title of the ruler of venice was 'Doge'. Doge is also the name of a particular kind of meme.
    OMG.
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  22. - Top - End - #112
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    Quote Originally Posted by Guizonde View Post
    you too? bummer, right?



    i'm still trying to get me a halfling war kazoo. don't feel too bad about the accordeon. i'm playing with a bard who uses bagpipes with a loaded mp3 player "for immersion".
    I actually got to play mine once "for immersion". it was more of a demonstration for why it would work as a deafen effect every time it is being played
    The first rule of gaming, before you have even chosen the game is and always should be

    HAVE FUN

    (FUN being defined as it is in dwarf fortress)

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    Quote Originally Posted by braveheart View Post
    I actually got to play mine once "for immersion". it was more of a demonstration for why it would work as a deafen effect every time it is being played
    Playing a bagpipe is a minimum dc23, takes a Full round action during which a 5-foot step MUST be taken. Because it's harder to hit a moving target.

  24. - Top - End - #114
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    Quote Originally Posted by JAL_1138 View Post
    *The written Tabaxi language is not lolcat-speak.
    **A Tabaxi bard is not a lolcat, even if casting Tasha’s Hideous Laughter.
    ***Not allowed to use LOLCODE in any modern or cyberpunk setting when playing a hacker.
    Quote Originally Posted by Rockphed View Post
    Dwarf Fortress would like to have a word with you. The word is decorated with bands of microcline and meanaces with spikes of rose gold. On the word is an image of the word in cinnabar.
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    This is an image of Wookietank the Destroyer of Fortresses engraved in sandstone. Wookietank the Destroyer of Fortresses is leaving Trotknives. Trotknives is on fire and full of goblins. This image refers to the destruction of Trotknives in late winter of 109 by Wookietank the Destroyer of Fortresses.

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    BardGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    Quote Originally Posted by Wookieetank View Post
    ***Not allowed to use LOLCODE in any modern or cyberpunk setting when playing a hacker.
    *May not claim to be a “hacker” if my character can’t code, can’t crack passwords, and can’t hotwire anything.
    **Really good deception and intimidation skills, some miniature surveillance bugs that can be surreptitiously attached to a computer to record everything someone does on it, a set of boltcutters, a crowbar, a combat knife, shaped-charge explosives, an assault rifle with an underbarrel shotgun attachment, and breaching-rounds for the underbarrel shotgun are not a substitute for computer and electronic engineering skills.
    ***Even if I can get a password or open a door quite effectively with some combination of the above.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Safety Sword View Post
    JAL_1138: Founding Member of the Paranoid Adventurer's Guild.
    Quote Originally Posted by TeChameleon View Post
    - If it's something mortals were not meant to know, I've already found six different ways to blow myself and/or someone else up with it.
    Gnomish proverb


    I use blue text for silliness and/or sarcasm. Do not take anything I say in blue text seriously, except for this sentence and the one preceding it.

  26. - Top - End - #116
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    Quote Originally Posted by JAL_1138 View Post
    *May not claim to be a “hacker” if my character can’t code, can’t crack passwords, and can’t hotwire anything.
    **Really good deception and intimidation skills, some miniature surveillance bugs that can be surreptitiously attached to a computer to record everything someone does on it, a set of boltcutters, a crowbar, a combat knife, shaped-charge explosives, an assault rifle with an underbarrel shotgun attachment, and breaching-rounds for the underbarrel shotgun are not a substitute for computer and electronic engineering skills.
    *** Neither is an axe.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

  27. - Top - End - #117
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    BardGuy

    Join Date
    Aug 2014

    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    *My GURPS character may not put all 100 starting points into the explosives skill and the wealth to purchase very large amounts of explosives.
    **Especially if I’m playing a corporate cop.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Safety Sword View Post
    JAL_1138: Founding Member of the Paranoid Adventurer's Guild.
    Quote Originally Posted by TeChameleon View Post
    - If it's something mortals were not meant to know, I've already found six different ways to blow myself and/or someone else up with it.
    Gnomish proverb


    I use blue text for silliness and/or sarcasm. Do not take anything I say in blue text seriously, except for this sentence and the one preceding it.

  28. - Top - End - #118
    Troll in the Playground
    Join Date
    Jun 2015

    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    Quote Originally Posted by JAL_1138 View Post
    *My GURPS character may not put all 100 starting points into the explosives skill and the wealth to purchase very large amounts of explosives.
    **Especially if I’m playing a corporate cop.
    ***Exploding the country does not counts as defeating all the villains in it.
    ****intangible nets sent through the planets should not double as explosive delivery methods.

  29. - Top - End - #119
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    BardGuy

    Join Date
    Aug 2014

    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    *Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged may not make appearances in Faerûn.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Safety Sword View Post
    JAL_1138: Founding Member of the Paranoid Adventurer's Guild.
    Quote Originally Posted by TeChameleon View Post
    - If it's something mortals were not meant to know, I've already found six different ways to blow myself and/or someone else up with it.
    Gnomish proverb


    I use blue text for silliness and/or sarcasm. Do not take anything I say in blue text seriously, except for this sentence and the one preceding it.

  30. - Top - End - #120
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Anonymouswizard's Avatar

    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    In my library

    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permiss

    Quote Originally Posted by JAL_1138 View Post
    *My GURPS character may not put all 100 starting points into the explosives skill and the wealth to purchase very large amounts of explosives.
    Of course not!

    You need fifty points of Disadvantages to make sure you have the maximum amount of explosives. I recommend Impulsiveness (Self Control 6) and Pyromania (Self Control 6) as a good start.


    * Friend Computer likes me. However they do not like like me, and suggesting they do is treason.
    Snazzy avatar (now back! ) by Honest Tiefling.

    RIP Laser-Snail, may you live on in our hearts forever.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

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