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  1. - Top - End - #781
    Orc in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2018

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Quote Originally Posted by CyberiadQueen View Post
    I roll to be an ace at Sudoku.
    You ace it because you play solitaire where some of the cards are aces. That makes sense right?

    I roll to make a better pun than the above comment.

  2. - Top - End - #782
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Crisis21's Avatar

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    Apr 2009
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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You are severely pun-ished for your efforts.


    I roll to pun-t the next poster over the horizon.
    Wind & Sound Elemental Eric Greenhilt avatar by Akrim.elf
    Bodyguard in Lix's Harem
    Ninja-Pirate of BvS's Privateer village! Come and join me!
    My Extended Signature
    My Pokemon!

  3. - Top - End - #783
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Silent_Interim's Avatar

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    Apr 2015
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    Somewhere South of Hell

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    My, that's some lovely bunting you're putting up on that building there.

    I roll to set fire to the bunting.
    I go by them/they/their pronouns, but I'm comfortable with he/him/his or she/her/hers.

    Spoiler: STUFFS
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by Silent_Interim View Post
    Yes... continue ignoring me... exactly as planned
    Quote Originally Posted by Xihirli View Post
    'Kay! Ignoring a ninja never hurt anyone.



    Being terrible at being a wolf since always.

  4. - Top - End - #784
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

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    Jan 2019
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    Gallifrey (Or Hyrule)
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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You turn the bunting into water. That's some impressive work!

    I roll to turn lemons into limeade.
    Love is the ultimate trip. --Micky Dolenz

    Rest in Peace, Peter Tork
    February 13, 1942-February 21, 2019
    Men are Mortal
    Music lives Forever

  5. - Top - End - #785
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

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    Nov 2009
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    Arizona
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    Intersex

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    I didn’t realize shoving the lemons up your rear end was part of the process, and it looks really painful, but hey, you do you.

    I roll to pilot a submarine.
    LGBTitp
    Genderfluid AMAB, hence the gender symbol. I switch as it suits me.

  6. - Top - End - #786
    Orc in the Playground
     
    jwhouk's Avatar

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    Jul 2018
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    Arizona USA
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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    No matter how hard you try, it never quite seems to add up.

    I roll to repeat.
    "Character is what you are in the dark." - D.L. Moody
    Life's too short to be ashamed of how you were born.

  7. - Top - End - #787
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Crisis21's Avatar

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    Apr 2009
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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Okay, now it's adding up.


    I roll to throw barrels.
    Wind & Sound Elemental Eric Greenhilt avatar by Akrim.elf
    Bodyguard in Lix's Harem
    Ninja-Pirate of BvS's Privateer village! Come and join me!
    My Extended Signature
    My Pokemon!

  8. - Top - End - #788
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

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    Jul 2008

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You give yourself a hernia.

    I roll to choose a videogame to purchase!
    Leo, Minnie, Ajax, Timmy.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  9. - Top - End - #789
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

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    Jan 2019
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    Gallifrey (Or Hyrule)
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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You're baffled by the excellent selection available.

    I roll to write a concise yet fascinating history of book ends.
    Love is the ultimate trip. --Micky Dolenz

    Rest in Peace, Peter Tork
    February 13, 1942-February 21, 2019
    Men are Mortal
    Music lives Forever

  10. - Top - End - #790
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Silent_Interim's Avatar

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    Apr 2015
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    Somewhere South of Hell

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Well it opens well... and it closes well... but the middle is a thick and dull mess that renders the book good for little more than sitting at the end of a shelf to prop other books up.

    I roll to be humble.
    I go by them/they/their pronouns, but I'm comfortable with he/him/his or she/her/hers.

    Spoiler: STUFFS
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by Silent_Interim View Post
    Yes... continue ignoring me... exactly as planned
    Quote Originally Posted by Xihirli View Post
    'Kay! Ignoring a ninja never hurt anyone.



    Being terrible at being a wolf since always.

  11. - Top - End - #791
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

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    Jul 2008

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You put on a gaudy show raving about how humble you are. You fail to see the irony in this.

    I roll to drink you under the table.
    Leo, Minnie, Ajax, Timmy.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  12. - Top - End - #792
    Orc in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2018

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Quote Originally Posted by Dr.Gunsforhands View Post
    I roll to drink you under the table.
    You drink so much you collapse unconscious and fall under the table...where mosquitoes drink you...r blood.

    I roll make the next person who posts NOT include the word "BUTT" in his/her post. Just to be clear: I do NOT want the next person who post to include the word "BUTT" and am rolling for that.

  13. - Top - End - #793
    Orc in the Playground
     
    jwhouk's Avatar

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    Jul 2018
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    Arizona USA
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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    But, but, but, BUTTS!

    I roll to listen to some music.
    "Character is what you are in the dark." - D.L. Moody
    Life's too short to be ashamed of how you were born.

  14. - Top - End - #794
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

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    Jan 2019
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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You instead listen to Ben Stein enumerating all of the properties of the average dust bunny.

    I roll to narrate a great nature documentary.
    Love is the ultimate trip. --Micky Dolenz

    Rest in Peace, Peter Tork
    February 13, 1942-February 21, 2019
    Men are Mortal
    Music lives Forever

  15. - Top - End - #795
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Crisis21's Avatar

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    Apr 2009
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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    What are all these industrial factories doing in your nature documentary?


    I roll to lie like a rug.
    Wind & Sound Elemental Eric Greenhilt avatar by Akrim.elf
    Bodyguard in Lix's Harem
    Ninja-Pirate of BvS's Privateer village! Come and join me!
    My Extended Signature
    My Pokemon!

  16. - Top - End - #796
    Orc in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2018

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Quote Originally Posted by Crisis21 View Post
    I roll to lie like a rug.
    You remain vertical and erect for the rest of your life and even win a prize for it.

    Quote Originally Posted by jwhouk View Post
    But, but, but, BUTTS!
    YAY! My life is now complete.

    I want to thank jwouk for this so I roll to burn down their house, insult their entire family, and steal everything they own.

  17. - Top - End - #797
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Silent_Interim's Avatar

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    Apr 2015
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    Somewhere South of Hell

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You dare subvert the will of the DM by trying to roll to do things with the intent not to do them? For your hubris, you will fail in your stated overarching goal, and will slather jwhouk's house with kerosene without actually setting it on fire, alienate his family by making compliments that you meant sincerely but that sound utterly fake, and leave kerosene and fingerprints all over their property, leading the police to arrest you for attempted arson and theft.

    I roll to bake a muffin?
    I go by them/they/their pronouns, but I'm comfortable with he/him/his or she/her/hers.

    Spoiler: STUFFS
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by Silent_Interim View Post
    Yes... continue ignoring me... exactly as planned
    Quote Originally Posted by Xihirli View Post
    'Kay! Ignoring a ninja never hurt anyone.



    Being terrible at being a wolf since always.

  18. - Top - End - #798
    Orc in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2018

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Quote Originally Posted by Silent_Interim View Post
    You dare subvert the will of the DM by trying to roll to do things with the intent not to do them? For your hubris, you will fail in your stated overarching goal, and will slather jwhouk's house with kerosene without actually setting it on fire, alienate his family by making compliments that you meant sincerely but that sound utterly fake, and leave kerosene and fingerprints all over their property, leading the police to arrest you for attempted arson and theft.
    You dare subvert me? Two can play at this game.

    I roll to bake a muffin?
    You put ingredients in an oven and bake it for a period of time. You pull something out of the oven that resembles a muffin, but you have to eat it to be sure.

    I roll to get someone to eat the muffin.

  19. - Top - End - #799
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Imp

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    Feb 2006
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    Ubiquitous
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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You persuade your reflection to eat the muffin. Unfortunately there seems to be something in the way. Hmm.

    I roll to clean the mirror.
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES
    EXPLODED RUNES
    PICTURE OF A CAT
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES

  20. - Top - End - #800
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

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    Nov 2009
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    Arizona
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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You somehow ended up saying “Bloody Mary” three times while cleaning it and summoned an angry ghost.

    I make a Profession (Ghostbuster) check to get rid of it.
    LGBTitp
    Genderfluid AMAB, hence the gender symbol. I switch as it suits me.

  21. - Top - End - #801
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Crisis21's Avatar

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    Apr 2009
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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    The ghost possesses you.

    I roll to prosecute the ghost for illegal possession.
    Wind & Sound Elemental Eric Greenhilt avatar by Akrim.elf
    Bodyguard in Lix's Harem
    Ninja-Pirate of BvS's Privateer village! Come and join me!
    My Extended Signature
    My Pokemon!

  22. - Top - End - #802
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

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    Jan 2019
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    Gallifrey (Or Hyrule)
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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Quote Originally Posted by Crisis21 View Post
    The ghost possesses you.

    I roll to prosecute the ghost for illegal possession.
    The ghost's defamation-of-character suit against you is a resounding success.

    I roll to manage Crisis21's appeal.
    Love is the ultimate trip. --Micky Dolenz

    Rest in Peace, Peter Tork
    February 13, 1942-February 21, 2019
    Men are Mortal
    Music lives Forever

  23. - Top - End - #803
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

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    Nov 2009
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    Arizona
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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Crisis21 ends up in the electric chair.

    I roll to cross the street.
    LGBTitp
    Genderfluid AMAB, hence the gender symbol. I switch as it suits me.

  24. - Top - End - #804
    Orc in the Playground
     
    jwhouk's Avatar

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    Jul 2018
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    Arizona USA
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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Dire Moose, you know better than to try and cross US Highway 60 at high noon.

    ...on the Superstition Freeway.

    I roll to call 911.
    "Character is what you are in the dark." - D.L. Moody
    Life's too short to be ashamed of how you were born.

  25. - Top - End - #805
    Titan in the Playground
     
    HalfTangible's Avatar

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    Aug 2010
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    The Primus Imperium
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    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    "Hi, you've reached Pizza Hut, may I take your order?"

    I roll to order a cheese pizza.
    Quote Originally Posted by Keld Denar View Post
    +3 Girlfriend is totally unoptimized. You are better off with a +1 Keen Witty girlfriend and then appling Greater Magic Make-up to increase her enhancement bonus.
    Everything is going according to plan. And by that I mean the plan has changed like 3 times in the last year but now I have it written down and the new plan is going well!.

    Primal ego vos, estis ex nihilo

    Extended Sig

    Brother of Battle by Emperor Ing

  26. - Top - End - #806
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

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    Jan 2019
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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Quote Originally Posted by HalfTangible View Post
    "Hi, you've reached Pizza Hut, may I take your order?"

    I roll to order a cheese pizza.
    Here's your chawanmushi with a side order of pepper-jack brownies.

    I roll to freeze.
    Love is the ultimate trip. --Micky Dolenz

    Rest in Peace, Peter Tork
    February 13, 1942-February 21, 2019
    Men are Mortal
    Music lives Forever

  27. - Top - End - #807
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Crisis21's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You evaporate.


    I roll to make a deal with the Spirit of Vengeance and become the new Ghost Rider.
    Wind & Sound Elemental Eric Greenhilt avatar by Akrim.elf
    Bodyguard in Lix's Harem
    Ninja-Pirate of BvS's Privateer village! Come and join me!
    My Extended Signature
    My Pokemon!

  28. - Top - End - #808
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    ElfRangerGuy

    Join Date
    Jun 2018
    Location
    Belgium
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You are taken by wraith slavers and soulforged into a brick. You're now literally 'just another brick in the wall'.

    I roll to update my anti-virus software.
    Clacks-Overhead: GNU Terry Pratchett

    "Magic can turn a frog into a prince. Science can turn a frog into a Ph.D. and you still have the frog you started with." Terry Pratchett
    "I will not yield to evil, unless she's cute."

  29. - Top - End - #809
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

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    Nov 2009
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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You download every virus that ever existed and your computer literally explodes.

    I roll to try out for the basketball team.
    Last edited by Dire Moose; 2019-06-05 at 07:11 PM.
    LGBTitp
    Genderfluid AMAB, hence the gender symbol. I switch as it suits me.

  30. - Top - End - #810
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Imp

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    Ubiquitous
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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You end up getting drafted...for a one person expedition to an uninhabited island in the South Pacific. They really didn't want you on that team. Maybe it's because of how the ball got away from you and bludgeoned the star player into a coma. We'll never really know.

    I roll to coin a phrase
    Last edited by Korith; 2019-06-12 at 01:45 PM.
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES
    EXPLODED RUNES
    PICTURE OF A CAT
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES

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