The Order of the Stick: Utterly Dwarfed
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  1. - Top - End - #271
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    And now you're known all over town as "the creep", becoming a social pariah overnight. At least nobody broke out the pitchforks and torches.

    ...Oh.

    I roll to escape the baying mob.
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.

    [+]

  2. - Top - End - #272
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    The baying mob simply loves a good scapegoat.

    I roll to hide from the baying mob.
    Love is the ultimate trip. --Micky Dolenz

    Rest in Peace, Peter Tork
    February 13, 1942-February 21, 2019
    Men are Mortal
    Music lives Forever

    #LiberateHongKong

  3. - Top - End - #273
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    That's two goats. Do I hear three?

    I roll to not involve the next poster in any way.
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.

    [+]

  4. - Top - End - #274
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    OrcBarbarianGuy

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    Apr 2018

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    I look to my forum friends in their guillotines and say, "Y'all's first time?"

    I roll to be beheaded.

  5. - Top - End - #275
    Barbarian in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2018

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Quote Originally Posted by LordArgon View Post
    I roll to be beheaded.
    You're C-Headed...because it's the letter that comes after "b". What's C-heading? It's kind of like a C-esarean.

    I roll to deliver LordArgon's baby...from his head stump...I guess.

  6. - Top - End - #276
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You deliver the hellspawn imp that was seeded there. It bites your head off.

    I roll to do a barrel roll.
    LGBTitp
    Genderfluid AMAB, hence the gender symbol. I switch as it suits me.

  7. - Top - End - #277
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Crisis21's Avatar

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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You successfully stuff yourself into a barrel, but are unable to make it roll. Plus you appear to be stuck.


    I roll to find something I can use to get Dire Moose out of the barrel.
    Wind & Sound Elemental Eric Greenhilt avatar by Akrim.elf
    Bodyguard in Lix's Harem
    Ninja-Pirate of BvS's Privateer village! Come and join me!
    My Extended Signature
    My Pokemon!

  8. - Top - End - #278
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    OldWizardGuy

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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    This circular saw should do wonders, just gotta plug it in like so...

    I roll to plug in the saw
    So, I went completely AWOL... Sorry about that, I will return when life picks up a rhythm again.
    If you need me for anything, or I forgot about something, PM me and I'll see it.
    Quote Originally Posted by frogglesmash View Post
    I guess I'll amend my original statement and instead say that Pathfinder is close enough to 3.5 to spark an argument about how close it actually is.

  9. - Top - End - #279
    Titan in the Playground
     
    HalfTangible's Avatar

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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You find a socket and plug it in... only to realize that there's not actually any power going to this plug.

    I roll to find the proper breaker to turn on.
    Quote Originally Posted by Keld Denar View Post
    +3 Girlfriend is totally unoptimized. You are better off with a +1 Keen Witty girlfriend and then appling Greater Magic Make-up to increase her enhancement bonus.
    Everything is going according to plan. And by that I mean the plan has changed like 3 times in the last year but now I have it written down and the new plan is going well!.

    Primal ego vos, estis ex nihilo

    Extended Sig

    Brother of Battle by Emperor Ing

  10. - Top - End - #280
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Well, after twelve electrocutions, you think you have it...

    "WARNING: SELF-DESTRUCT ACTIVATED. EVACUATE IMMEDIATELY."

    ...Don't ask why that's in your garage.


    I roll to run for the hills.
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.

    [+]

  11. - Top - End - #281
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    jwhouk's Avatar

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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    ...you're in the middle of Kansas.

    I roll to avoid the obvious Wizard of Oz jokes that are forthcoming.
    "Character is what you are in the dark." - D.L. Moody
    Life's too short to be ashamed of how you were born.

  12. - Top - End - #282
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Crisis21's Avatar

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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You suffer jabs about being brainless, heartless, spineless, and homeless for months.


    I roll to give the next poster an awesome gift!
    Wind & Sound Elemental Eric Greenhilt avatar by Akrim.elf
    Bodyguard in Lix's Harem
    Ninja-Pirate of BvS's Privateer village! Come and join me!
    My Extended Signature
    My Pokemon!

  13. - Top - End - #283
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Uh...thanks for the lovely bouquet of...stinkweed. I'm sure you meant well.

    I roll to be sneaky.
    Love is the ultimate trip. --Micky Dolenz

    Rest in Peace, Peter Tork
    February 13, 1942-February 21, 2019
    Men are Mortal
    Music lives Forever

    #LiberateHongKong

  14. - Top - End - #284
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    "I GOT A ONE!"

    I roll to not suffer permanent hearing loss.
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.

    [+]

  15. - Top - End - #285
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Huh? You roll to what, sonny? I can’t hear you!

    I roll to order a pizza.
    LGBTitp
    Genderfluid AMAB, hence the gender symbol. I switch as it suits me.

  16. - Top - End - #286
    Titan in the Playground
     
    HalfTangible's Avatar

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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    It's 3 days late. Also it's a plate of spinach.

    I roll to sing "Cruel Angel's Thesis"
    Quote Originally Posted by Keld Denar View Post
    +3 Girlfriend is totally unoptimized. You are better off with a +1 Keen Witty girlfriend and then appling Greater Magic Make-up to increase her enhancement bonus.
    Everything is going according to plan. And by that I mean the plan has changed like 3 times in the last year but now I have it written down and the new plan is going well!.

    Primal ego vos, estis ex nihilo

    Extended Sig

    Brother of Battle by Emperor Ing

  17. - Top - End - #287
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Imp

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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Everyone within a 30ft radius takes 3d6 sonic damage and must make a DC16 Will save or become Confused.

    I roll to make my Will save.
    This is a boring signature.
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES
    EXPLODED RUNES
    PICTURE OF A CAT
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES

  18. - Top - End - #288
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    OldWizardGuy

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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You make your Charisma save instead. What's that? Wrong edition? Wrong stat, even? Pfft, don't look at me.

    I roll to not take the blame for that confusion
    So, I went completely AWOL... Sorry about that, I will return when life picks up a rhythm again.
    If you need me for anything, or I forgot about something, PM me and I'll see it.
    Quote Originally Posted by frogglesmash View Post
    I guess I'll amend my original statement and instead say that Pathfinder is close enough to 3.5 to spark an argument about how close it actually is.

  19. - Top - End - #289
    Titan in the Playground
     
    HalfTangible's Avatar

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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    "-and we find The Kool guilty of murder in the first degree."
    *gasp*
    "Sorry, not murder, I meant to say 'being incredibly wrong about how the rules work in this edition'. Either way, he will be hung at dawn!"

    I roll to break him out of prison before the hanging.
    Quote Originally Posted by Keld Denar View Post
    +3 Girlfriend is totally unoptimized. You are better off with a +1 Keen Witty girlfriend and then appling Greater Magic Make-up to increase her enhancement bonus.
    Everything is going according to plan. And by that I mean the plan has changed like 3 times in the last year but now I have it written down and the new plan is going well!.

    Primal ego vos, estis ex nihilo

    Extended Sig

    Brother of Battle by Emperor Ing

  20. - Top - End - #290
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Crisis21's Avatar

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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Why, it looks like we're gonna have ourselves a double-hanging!


    I roll to execute the prisoners.
    Wind & Sound Elemental Eric Greenhilt avatar by Akrim.elf
    Bodyguard in Lix's Harem
    Ninja-Pirate of BvS's Privateer village! Come and join me!
    My Extended Signature
    My Pokemon!

  21. - Top - End - #291
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    OrcBarbarianGuy

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    Apr 2018

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You instead only excommunicate them.

    I roll to get them a retrial.

  22. - Top - End - #292
    Titan in the Playground
     
    HalfTangible's Avatar

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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You are arrested and put on trial yourself.

    I roll to roll a 1.
    Quote Originally Posted by Keld Denar View Post
    +3 Girlfriend is totally unoptimized. You are better off with a +1 Keen Witty girlfriend and then appling Greater Magic Make-up to increase her enhancement bonus.
    Everything is going according to plan. And by that I mean the plan has changed like 3 times in the last year but now I have it written down and the new plan is going well!.

    Primal ego vos, estis ex nihilo

    Extended Sig

    Brother of Battle by Emperor Ing

  23. - Top - End - #293
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Kobold

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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    As your d20 leaves your hand, it just..stays there. Hanging in the air, floating just above the gaming mat. It rises up, rotating slowly. You hear a deep voice that seems to come from everywhere and nowhere.
    "YOU! YOU HAVE BROKEN THE UNIVEEERRRSSSEEEE!"

    I roll to fix reality.
    Easydamus says I'm a neutral half-elf wizard 1/druid 1.
    Strength- 11
    Dexterity- 13
    Constitution- 11
    Intelligence- 15
    Wisdom- 13
    Charisma- 12

    When in doubt, Hail Dread Cthulhu.

    Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.

  24. - Top - End - #294
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You utterly demolish Reality. Darn it; I liked existing!

    I roll to exist in spite of the destruction of Reality.
    Love is the ultimate trip. --Micky Dolenz

    Rest in Peace, Peter Tork
    February 13, 1942-February 21, 2019
    Men are Mortal
    Music lives Forever

    #LiberateHongKong

  25. - Top - End - #295
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    OrcBarbarianGuy

    Join Date
    Apr 2018

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    I had the distinct feeling I was responding to someone, but they appear to not be there.

    I roll to create my own reality, with blackjack and hookers.

  26. - Top - End - #296
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Crisis21's Avatar

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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Your recreate reality, but no one knows what... those two things you mentioned... are.


    I roll to make myself lunch.
    Wind & Sound Elemental Eric Greenhilt avatar by Akrim.elf
    Bodyguard in Lix's Harem
    Ninja-Pirate of BvS's Privateer village! Come and join me!
    My Extended Signature
    My Pokemon!

  27. - Top - End - #297
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Kobold

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    Sep 2018
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    In the fiery pits of Hell
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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    For some odd reason, no one wants to devour your flesh.

    I roll to destroy this new reality.
    Easydamus says I'm a neutral half-elf wizard 1/druid 1.
    Strength- 11
    Dexterity- 13
    Constitution- 11
    Intelligence- 15
    Wisdom- 13
    Charisma- 12

    When in doubt, Hail Dread Cthulhu.

    Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.

  28. - Top - End - #298
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

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    Jan 2019
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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    This new reality of yours is now permanent.

    I roll to discover an alternate reality to this one.
    Love is the ultimate trip. --Micky Dolenz

    Rest in Peace, Peter Tork
    February 13, 1942-February 21, 2019
    Men are Mortal
    Music lives Forever

    #LiberateHongKong

  29. - Top - End - #299
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    404 reality not found. :(

    >Check your TARDIS connection
    >Run portal diagnostics
    >Send error report to God

    I roll to pick an option.
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.

    [+]

  30. - Top - End - #300
    Titan in the Playground
     
    HalfTangible's Avatar

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    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Your hand crashes THROUGH the panel. You have no idea what you selected.

    I roll to get the heck out of dodge before the obibital bombardment hits.
    "Don't you mean orbital bombardment?"
    Are you even looking at the TARDIS' screen right now?
    "HOLY CRAP IT DOES SAY OBIBITAL"
    Quote Originally Posted by Keld Denar View Post
    +3 Girlfriend is totally unoptimized. You are better off with a +1 Keen Witty girlfriend and then appling Greater Magic Make-up to increase her enhancement bonus.
    Everything is going according to plan. And by that I mean the plan has changed like 3 times in the last year but now I have it written down and the new plan is going well!.

    Primal ego vos, estis ex nihilo

    Extended Sig

    Brother of Battle by Emperor Ing

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