Page 6 of 28 FirstFirst 12345678910111213141516 ... LastLast
Results 151 to 180 of 813
  1. - Top - End - #151
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

    Join Date
    Jan 2019
    Location
    Gallifrey (Or Hyrule)
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    It spreads to your arms.

    I roll to stop procrastinating and actually write!
    Love is the ultimate trip. --Micky Dolenz

    Rest in Peace, Peter Tork
    February 13, 1942-February 21, 2019
    Men are Mortal
    Music lives Forever

  2. - Top - End - #152
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Crisis21's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Ten years later... you've written one sentence.


    I roll to make breakfast.
    Wind & Sound Elemental Eric Greenhilt avatar by Akrim.elf
    Bodyguard in Lix's Harem
    Ninja-Pirate of BvS's Privateer village! Come and join me!
    My Extended Signature
    My Pokemon!

  3. - Top - End - #153
    Orc in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2018

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Quote Originally Posted by Crisis21 View Post
    I roll to make breakfast.
    You end up genetically engineering new life that goes on a violent, unstoppable rampage.

    Quote Originally Posted by CyberiadQueen View Post
    You make a tiny Death Star out of Legos, and it's too adorable to be taken seriously.
    I roll to pick up my legos so I don't get in trouble.

  4. - Top - End - #154
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Arizona
    Gender
    Intersex

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You step on them in your bare feet and scream in pain.

    I roll to become the most fearsome pirate in the seven seas!
    LGBTitp
    Genderfluid AMAB, hence the gender symbol. I switch as it suits me.

  5. - Top - End - #155
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Location
    US
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Rumor soon gets out about you being the most fearful pirate in the seven seas. "What's the matter, wittle baby, can't handwe a few kwackens?"

    I roll to reassemble the Death Star. The real one, not the lego knockoff.
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.

    [+]

  6. - Top - End - #156
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Crisis21's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Spoiler: Your cat likes her new den.
    Show



    I roll to adopt a cat.
    Wind & Sound Elemental Eric Greenhilt avatar by Akrim.elf
    Bodyguard in Lix's Harem
    Ninja-Pirate of BvS's Privateer village! Come and join me!
    My Extended Signature
    My Pokemon!

  7. - Top - End - #157
    Orc in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2018

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Quote Originally Posted by Crisis21 View Post
    I roll to adopt a cat.
    You adopt Garfield and go bankrupt from the lasagna bills.

    I roll to build an Italian restaurant so I can make money off of Crisis21 needing lasagna.

  8. - Top - End - #158
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Location
    US
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    An unfortunate run-in with the Mafia... dissuades you of that notion.

    I roll to pay Magic_Hat's substantial hospital bills.
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.

    [+]

  9. - Top - End - #159
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

    Join Date
    Jan 2019
    Location
    Gallifrey (Or Hyrule)
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Quote Originally Posted by Ironsmith View Post
    I roll to pay Magic_Hat's substantial hospital bills.
    You pay Magic_Hat's hospital bills from his unfortunate run-in with the Mafia...with money that you borrowed from the Mafia. They'd like it back now, please...

    I roll to know absolutely nothing about these events, the better to not have an unfortunate run-in with the Mafia, myself.
    Love is the ultimate trip. --Micky Dolenz

    Rest in Peace, Peter Tork
    February 13, 1942-February 21, 2019
    Men are Mortal
    Music lives Forever

  10. - Top - End - #160
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Location
    US
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Lacking any other methods of inducing amnesia, you begin resorting to self-concussion, which sort of works but defeats the point. Fortunately, when the Mafia comes around, they see how badly you've already beaten yourself up and decide what they were gonna do is kind of redundant. One of them even takes you the the hospital! Dat Tony, he's a sweet guy.

    Frankie Firebomb ain't quite so sweet, though.

    I roll to help my fellow forumites escape the burning hospital.
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.

    [+]

  11. - Top - End - #161
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Kobold

    Join Date
    Sep 2018
    Location
    In the fiery pits of Hell
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Well maybe you shouldn't have brought a GODDAMN FLAMETHROWER.

    I roll to become something other than a pile of disgruntled ashes.

    When in doubt, Hail Dread Cthulhu.

    Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.

  12. - Top - End - #162
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Crisis21's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You become three piles of disgruntled ashes.


    I roll to feed Garfield.
    Wind & Sound Elemental Eric Greenhilt avatar by Akrim.elf
    Bodyguard in Lix's Harem
    Ninja-Pirate of BvS's Privateer village! Come and join me!
    My Extended Signature
    My Pokemon!

  13. - Top - End - #163
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Arizona
    Gender
    Intersex

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    He bites your hand off.

    I roll to build Crisis21 a cybernetic hand.
    LGBTitp
    Genderfluid AMAB, hence the gender symbol. I switch as it suits me.

  14. - Top - End - #164
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Location
    US
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Ooh...

    I now christen thee, "Stumpy".



    I roll to get this man some gloves.
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.

    [+]

  15. - Top - End - #165
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    OrcBarbarianGuy

    Join Date
    Apr 2018

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Most people would have gone to a store and bought a pair, but you decided to summon a demon from the depths of hell. The demon was not pleased, and while he granted your wish, you are now living life as a pair of living gloves.

    I roll to put on these strange new gloves I found.

  16. - Top - End - #166
    Orc in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2018

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Quote Originally Posted by LordArgon View Post
    I roll to put on these strange new gloves I found.
    You end up putting the gloves on your feet, can't walk right, and end up falling down several flights of stairs.

    I roll to go on a quest where I have to throw a gold ring into a volcano

  17. - Top - End - #167
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Location
    US
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Fortunately, you find a quest that consists if only that, no orcs or evil eyes trying to stop you. Unfortunately, the ring in question is eight feet across, you HAVE to throw it in a volcano, and it's nowhere near one.

    I roll to reanimate some disgruntled ashes.
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.

    [+]

  18. - Top - End - #168
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

    Join Date
    Jan 2019
    Location
    Gallifrey (Or Hyrule)
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    The ashes are even more disgruntled than ever.

    I roll to construct the ashes into something more productive.
    Love is the ultimate trip. --Micky Dolenz

    Rest in Peace, Peter Tork
    February 13, 1942-February 21, 2019
    Men are Mortal
    Music lives Forever

  19. - Top - End - #169
    Orc in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2018

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Quote Originally Posted by CyberiadQueen View Post
    I roll to construct the ashes into something more productive.
    Does kitty litter count as "something more productive"? Because that's what you make. Ash has basically the same texture as kitty litter.

    I roll to start a company that specializes in turning ashes into kitty litter.

  20. - Top - End - #170
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Crisis21's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    A scandalous rumor hits the news within days of your grand opening that you use cremated human remains in your ash-litter and literally everyone boycotts your business, driving you to bankruptcy.


    I roll to determine the source of the rumor.
    Wind & Sound Elemental Eric Greenhilt avatar by Akrim.elf
    Bodyguard in Lix's Harem
    Ninja-Pirate of BvS's Privateer village! Come and join me!
    My Extended Signature
    My Pokemon!

  21. - Top - End - #171
    Orc in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2018

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Quote Originally Posted by Crisis21 View Post
    I roll to determine the source of the rumor.
    It was Louise Belcher. But she also starts a rumor that you bootleg alcohol out of your basement because she doesn't like you investigating her..

    I roll to start a burger restaurant that doesn't make burgers from dead people.

  22. - Top - End - #172
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DruidGirl

    Join Date
    Jan 2019
    Location
    Gallifrey (Or Hyrule)
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Don't worry; you're not making burgers out of dead people. Live people aren't dead people, after all...

    I roll to get all of these businesses accreditation from the Better Business Bureau, so that there won't be any scandals.
    Love is the ultimate trip. --Micky Dolenz

    Rest in Peace, Peter Tork
    February 13, 1942-February 21, 2019
    Men are Mortal
    Music lives Forever

  23. - Top - End - #173
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Location
    US
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    A few weeks later, you've turned the whole region into an economic wasteland.

    I roll to release myself from my wooly prison.
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.

    [+]

  24. - Top - End - #174
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Arizona
    Gender
    Intersex

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You anger a woolly mammoth and it tramples you to death.

    I roll to become a deity.
    LGBTitp
    Genderfluid AMAB, hence the gender symbol. I switch as it suits me.

  25. - Top - End - #175
    Orc in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2018

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Quote Originally Posted by Dire Moose View Post
    I roll to become a deity.
    You don't become a deity, but you do create a cult that worships you. Well cult might be a strong word. Really it's just one person who may need medication for a mental condition who thinks you're a god. And his worship of you is borderline stalker.

    I roll to build a fence for my house.

  26. - Top - End - #176
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Location
    US
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Instead, you fence your house. For thirty dollars.

    I roll to build a birdhouse.
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.

    [+]

  27. - Top - End - #177
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Crisis21's Avatar

    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    The birds categorically refuse to come anywhere near your monstrosity of a dwelling. The squirrels on the other hand...


    I roll to accept the inevitable.

    @V: So... what? I rolled a 20? That wasn't supposed to happen...
    Last edited by Crisis21; 2019-02-18 at 01:13 PM.
    Wind & Sound Elemental Eric Greenhilt avatar by Akrim.elf
    Bodyguard in Lix's Harem
    Ninja-Pirate of BvS's Privateer village! Come and join me!
    My Extended Signature
    My Pokemon!

  28. - Top - End - #178
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    BardGuy

    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Location
    Latveria
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    You were supposed to fight it! That alone has derailed the whole plot, and the DM retreats behind his screen for 10 minutes trying to work out what to do next.

    I roll to stop, drop and roll.

  29. - Top - End - #179
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    OrcBarbarianGuy

    Join Date
    Apr 2018

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    Sadly you reversed the order and are now at the bottom of a massive ravine.

    I roll to retrieve Mister Tom's corpse

  30. - Top - End - #180
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ironsmith's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Location
    US
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: The “Rolled a 1” Game II: Critical Fail

    All right fellas, key of A major...

    *ahem*

    Put another corpse on the pile
    Sittin' at the bottom of this ravine
    We all know it'll be there for a while
    'Cause we all know what a rolled 1 means


    I roll to continue the song.
    Who're you? ...Don't matter.

    Want some rye? 'Course ya do!


    Here's to us.
    Who's like us?
    Damn few,
    and they're aaall dead.

    [+]

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •