What would have happened if the king and the queen had invited Maleficent?

[Rodin]

You're thinking of Carpe Jugulum, I'm thinking of Nanny Ogg's Cook-Book, which was one of the "in universe" books written similar to Death's Domain and The Discworld Almanacs.

The Cook-Book wasn't a novel as such, but a real cook-book written as though by Nanny Ogg. There are some illustrations - the ornery old witch being fed ham rolls and drinking sherry very definitely is not Esme Weatherwax, just some beak-nosed old biddy in witches' clothing. The implication being that ALL witches can make your life hell if you displease them, so make sure they get invited to the party!
While not aimed directly at Granny, I suspect that Nanny learned a lot about diplomacy by interacting with her, and managed to find a way to recommend some benefits for herself along the way.

The description definitely seems self-serving. This is the same universe where the best-selling book on how to kill witches is written by a witch, and contains instructions that involve giving said witch a nice cup of tea before chucking her into a river in easily escapable bonds.

[Wraith]

The description definitely seems self-serving. This is the same universe where the best-selling book on how to kill witches is written by a witch, and contains instructions that involve giving said witch a nice cup of tea before chucking her into a river in easily escapable bonds.

You're absolutely right, it *is* self-serving. Nanny Ogg is notorious for turning up just as wine is being bottled, or sausages are being made, or cakes being baked with an expectant expression and a large, empty sack.

On the other hand, there are also witches like Black Alice, Mrs.Earwig and Lilith Weatherwax. While likely to net herself a few freebies, Nanny Ogg's advice is also entirely appropriate in the face of her less sympathetic (and less merciful) 'sisters'.

That's how you know that Nanny Ogg is one of the Good witches; she gives plenty and so she's allowed to take a little. The Bad Witches are the ones who give a little and then feel entitled to take.

[Pex]

What would have happened if Isildur had thrown the Ring into the Cracks of Doom?
What would have happened if the Evil Queen had accepted Snow White as the fairest in the land?
What would have happened if nobody had kidnapped Tony Stark?
What would have happened if the Capulets and the Montagues weren’t feuding?
What would have happened if Krypton had not been about to blow up?
What would have happened if Professor Utonium hadn’t accidentally added Chemical X to the formula?

Then the story doesn’t happen. That’s all.

Smeagol, still being a bad Hobbit, would be a warning tale to all Hobbits about doing things they oughtn't be doing like going on adventures. When Bilbo returns with his treasure he sells Bag End and moves to Laketown.

Snow White becomes Rapunzel.

Tony Stark becomes Iron Man via science experiment.

A comedy of errors.

Batman defeats Lex Luthor.

We are spared another dumb cartoon.

[Ravens_cry]

Or just have some fingerfood.

I don't know about you, but generally plates are still involved with finger food.

[Rodin]

Smeagol, still being a bad Hobbit, would be a warning tale to all Hobbits about doing things they oughtn't be doing like going on adventures. When Bilbo returns with his treasure he sells Bag End and moves to Laketown.

Not so sure about this one. If the One Ring doesn't exist, then Gollum isn't alive* by the time Bilbo goes on his adventure. That means there's nobody from him to meet when he gets separated from the Dwarves, and also means that he has no way to sneak past the Goblins at the back door.

So the result is that Bilbo gets captured trying to escape and spends the rest of his days as a slave in the Goblin mines. The Dwarves mourn him, then carry on only to get eaten by spiders in Mirkwood. Gandalf whistles nonchalantly and hopes nobody noticed what happened to his adventuring party, and another story gets added to the legend of "Gandalf Stormcrow".



*He's only around due to the enhanced lifespan granted by the Ring, and good or bad he would have died of old age long before Bilbo was alive.

[Jay R]

Chaos Theory and the Butterfly Effect demonstrate that we have no idea what would happen.

[Traab]

Not so sure about this one. If the One Ring doesn't exist, then Gollum isn't alive* by the time Bilbo goes on his adventure. That means there's nobody from him to meet when he gets separated from the Dwarves, and also means that he has no way to sneak past the Goblins at the back door.

So the result is that Bilbo gets captured trying to escape and spends the rest of his days as a slave in the Goblin mines. The Dwarves mourn him, then carry on only to get eaten by spiders in Mirkwood. Gandalf whistles nonchalantly and hopes nobody noticed what happened to his adventuring party, and another story gets added to the legend of "Gandalf Stormcrow".



*He's only around due to the enhanced lifespan granted by the Ring, and good or bad he would have died of old age long before Bilbo was alive.

That is a good point, bilbo needed not just the ring, but a guide to the exit from where he fell. Im not saying its IMPOSSIBLE for him to have escaped without either of those, but its not very likely. On the other hand, the butterfly effect could have messed with things something fierce. With the final death of sauron all the way back in the time of isildur, the forces of good would have had a much easier time of things without his spirit constantly stirring up trouble. The alliance between elves and men would have remained intact most likely due to no betrayal by isildur. Who is to say what would have changed over all those centuries? For all we know, the goblins and such might have found themselves being wiped out or harried away to the furthest parts of the world. Maybe smaug never would have attacked the lonely mountain in the first place. Would gandalf and the other wizards even be on middle earth if sauron had been destroyed?

[Jay R]

Back to the original question:

Maleficent offends Fauna, who stomps off in a huff. So she never gives Aurora the gift of song. Since Aurora cannot sing, she never become the heroine of a Disney movie, and we never learn the rest of her story.

[keybounce]

Stuff like this? This is why you hire a professional party planner. People are all like, oh it's so expensive, and I can just figure it out on my own. How hard can it be? Next thing you know your baby shower is ruined and your daughter has been cursed to die on her sixteenth birthday.

Oh! What if Pinkie Pie had been responsible for the party and the guest list?

[Jayngfet]

You're absolutely right, it *is* self-serving. Nanny Ogg is notorious for turning up just as wine is being bottled, or sausages are being made, or cakes being baked with an expectant expression and a large, empty sack.

On the other hand, there are also witches like Black Alice, Mrs.Earwig and Lilith Weatherwax. While likely to net herself a few freebies, Nanny Ogg's advice is also entirely appropriate in the face of her less sympathetic (and less merciful) 'sisters'.

That's how you know that Nanny Ogg is one of the Good witches; she gives plenty and so she's allowed to take a little. The Bad Witches are the ones who give a little and then feel entitled to take.

I'm gonna disagree. Those witches are Evil with a big E. Nanny Ogg is evil with a little e. Of all the non antagonistic witches she's routinley described as an abusive figure who plays power games with her family and has a tendency to muck things up. The fact that she's amusing to watch mostly stems from the way she pulls it off. If anyone would be consciously disenvited from a major social event it probably WOULD be Ogg.

[Eldan]

I wouldn't call Mrs. Earwig any kind of evil, really. She's condescending, dismissive and arrogant, but not really more so than most other witches, just in different ways. And yes, she's generally an unpleasant person. But we don't really ever see her do anything evil.

[deuterio12]

I'm gonna disagree. Those witches are Evil with a big E. Nanny Ogg is evil with a little e. Of all the non antagonistic witches she's routinley described as an abusive figure who plays power games with her family and has a tendency to muck things up. The fact that she's amusing to watch mostly stems from the way she pulls it off. If anyone would be consciously disenvited from a major social event it probably WOULD be Ogg.

Although she's not exactly a pure hearted angel, Nanny Ogg does plenty of good:
-It's mentioned Nanny Ogg's the one always being called to help with new births and babies (she's not called Nanny for nothing).
-Although she rules her massive family with an iron fist, she rules it in a pretty efficient way making sure everybody gets along nicely and is doing something useful for everybody.
-She's also great at being the life of a party-or even a funeral, helping people remember the best bits of the departed one.

[Aedilred]

I'm gonna disagree. Those witches are Evil with a big E. Nanny Ogg is evil with a little e. Of all the non antagonistic witches she's routinley described as an abusive figure who plays power games with her family and has a tendency to muck things up. The fact that she's amusing to watch mostly stems from the way she pulls it off. If anyone would be consciously disenvited from a major social event it probably WOULD be Ogg.

I wouldn't call Mrs. Earwig any kind of evil, really. She's condescending, dismissive and arrogant, but not really more so than most other witches, just in different ways. And yes, she's generally an unpleasant person. But we don't really ever see her do anything evil.

If I remember rightly, Black Alice was also described as "not bad, exactly, but so powerful that the difference stopped mattering" or something along those lines.

Nanny's not any kind of evil. She's got a lot of human flaws but her heart's in the right place and when it matters she does the right thing.

[Eldan]

She did a lot of things I'd call evil. Basically every fairy tale, from the descriptions. Including turning people into animals and roasting children alive.