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  1. - Top - End - #91
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    MonkGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    SLAYER: Zombie eyes are like raisins!


    CLERIC: Knowledge Planes, 18.
    GM: You know this is a fetchling, a slave to shadow dragons.
    CLERIC: I say a quiet prayer to Sarenrae because this party is beyond weird.
    SLAYER: Hey!


    ALFIE 2.1: My eidolon is Alfie 3.1.
    GM: Wasn't it 3.0?
    ALFIE 2.1: Technically, he died once.
    SORCERER: Have you lost count?


    LESHY: ...and that's why I get 2 natural attacks per round.
    SLAYER: "Hey, I have two hands!"
    GM: You had one hand behind your back to make it easy, but now its on!


    BARD: I offer Monkle 20 gold to learn Common.
    LESHY: Monkle doesn't need your learning!
    GM: Monkle looks at you, looks at the leshy, looks at you, looks at his dogslicer, looks at Leshy...


    GM: What method do you teach Monkle with?
    SLAYER: Teach him the Path of Pain!
    LESHY: He hits him if he mispronounces words.
    GM: Monkle think it not much different than tribe.


    GM: Perception checks.
    SORCERER: I got a 1, I don't notice anything. I talk to my snake.
    CLERIC: 24. I shout "By Sarenrae" and charge forward!
    SORCERER: I don't notice that either, I offer my snake a fresh chicken if she's quiet all day.
    Empyreal Lord of the Elysian Realm of Well-Intentioned Fail

  2. - Top - End - #92
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Guizonde's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    lucii: i don't think i'm ostentatious enough.
    dm: you're litterally hitting with your money. hell, you've killed 3 people with your wallet alone!
    lucii: if i was more ostentatious, i'd've killed 5.
    militia ooc: oh yeah, he's gonna fit right in with this universe.
    Spoiler: quotes
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    regarding my choice of sustenance:
    Quote Originally Posted by Raimun View Post
    I'm going to judge you.
    My judgement is: That is awesome.
    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    GM: “If it doesn't move and it should, use duct tape. If it moves and it shouldn't, use a shotgun.”
    dm is Miltonian, credit where credit is due.

    when in doubt,
    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard View Post
    Ask the beret wearing insect men of Athas.

  3. - Top - End - #93
    Spamalot in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Johnson: "Please get yourselves and that Enclave ship to me in one piece. Though not necessarily in that order."

    GM: "Do you want the airship stats?"
    Mad Max: "Sure."
    Doc: "36. 24. 36."
    GM: "Not that kind of ship."

    Johnson: "We don't work with the more less reputable companies."

    GM: "You all get 150 experience points."
    Doc: "So I am at 260 total."
    Max: "I'm at 255. Where'd you get the extra 5 from?"
    GM: "He told a funnier joke last session. I wasn't expecting him to rip one out like that."
    Doc: "Normally I'm just known for ripping out pony farts."
    GM: "Yeah, story of my life."
    Doc: "The story of farts?"
    Max: "He has an air about him."
    GM: "Ugh..."
    Doc: "He'd like to pass on this topic."
    GM: "Hate you all."
    Doc: "So you're saying though shall not pass?"
    Max: "That would be constipation."
    Mirror: "What did I walk in on?"

    GM: "Your sensors are picking up up a beacon. It's coming up on you very fast."
    Max: "I increase speed towards it."
    *sound of something THUD against the ship hull*
    GM: "The beacon is now growing fainter in the distance..."

    GM: "You hear a muffled explosion, followed by a rope ladder unrolling."
    Max: "That's the easiest thing I've done so far."

    Charity: "He lubed up your brain for you."

    GM: "For its age, this is still a very sophisticated computer."
    Doc: "Monocle, hat, and everything."
    Max: "Okay, Dr. Peanut."

    GM: "You fill the computer with terrible resolve."
    Mirror: "Carpet cleaner?"

    Doc: "I touch the door with my quarterstaff."
    GM: "What's your staff made of?"
    Doc: "Um... a stick?"
    GM: (*rolls dice*) "Okay, it's metal. You are thrown back with the force of a heavy electrical field."
    Doc: "Owww, coff coff..."
    Max: "Are you alright?"
    Charity: "Just had a shocking development here."
    Max: "With the door?"
    Doc: "It's electric. ...boogie woogie woogie."

    Max: "Scotty, we need warp drive in one minute or we're all dead."
    Mirror: "I refuse to be Scotty in this."
    Charity: "I refuse to be Spock in this."

    Johnson: "How many bodies did you leave behind to get this ship?"
    Max: "None."
    Doc: "Two dozen."
    Mirror: "Technically, they are both correct."
    Digo Dragon - Artist
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  4. - Top - End - #94
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    Coventry's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Milah: I want to hear a helium Frighid!
    Frighid: (glares)

    Ganthur: People, the path is a trap!
    Marvin: And?
    Symeon: And how do we normally deal with traps?
    Ganthur: We send Killian in.
    ...meanwhile...
    Killian-OOC: Can I see the path?
    DM: A blind, deaf mute could see it.
    Killian-OOC: I charge down the middle

    Killian-OOC: Actually, Killian would love to see himself get killed

    Ganthur: Question ... why are we walking?
    Symeon: (raises finger to explain, pauses)

    Killian: Oh good, nobody saw that

    Killian: This was broken when I got here

    Ganthur: Has this tree been in the middle of camp the whole time?
    Disguised Nymph: Yes, it has
    Ganthur: Okay (we all know that trees don't lie).

    Symeon: That would require access to maps I don't have on me. Possibly maps held in the vaults of old kingdoms. Very old kingdoms. The kind that might not be willing to let us in.
    Ganthur: That hasn't stopped us before.
    Symeon: I'm in.

    Killian: I am fighting the desire to fight ... and I'm losing!

    Killian: Aww, my toys broke.
    Last edited by Coventry; 2019-06-16 at 12:40 AM.

  5. - Top - End - #95
    Dwarf in the Playground
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    *For the sake of all of our minds, no the Druid cannot now or ever wildshape into the dreaded Candiru. Also no one is allowed to ask what the next part of that plan was.

    ** Giant and/or dire parasites are not allowed to exist either, no ticks or mosquitoes or tape worms or any of that

    *saving my own locks in order to prevent caged animals from being able to help our enemies fight us is clever but not going to work a second time.

    ** killing those guard drakes while locked in their cages is not going to be worth much xp

    ***

  6. - Top - End - #96
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    DeTess's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Officer:Glad you people have arrived. The suspect is holed up in that building over there, together with some kind of hellhound.
    Christina: Hellhound? Small creature, could have been a lap-dog, but on fire?
    Officer:...How'd you even...
    Clide: Yeah, we'd been wondering where that one had gotten to.
    Last edited by DeTess; 2019-06-18 at 05:58 AM.
    Jasnah avatar by Zea Mays

  7. - Top - End - #97
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Lord Torath's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Quote Originally Posted by PastorofMuppets View Post
    *For the sake of all of our minds, no the Druid cannot now or ever wildshape into the dreaded Candiru. Also no one is allowed to ask what the next part of that plan was.

    ** Giant and/or dire parasites are not allowed to exist either, no ticks or mosquitoes or tape worms or any of that

    *saving my own locks in order to prevent caged animals from being able to help our enemies fight us is clever but not going to work a second time.

    ** killing those guard drakes while locked in their cages is not going to be worth much xp

    ***
    Were you looking for the "Things I May No Longer Do While Playing" thread?
    Thri-Kreen Ranger/Psionicist by me, based off of Rich's A Monster for Every Season

  8. - Top - End - #98
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    MonkGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    SORCERER: I send in the snake. "You have chosen the path of pain! Feast upon his flesh." Do we need to roll DEX for a snake entering grease?


    SORCERER: And I need a third DC Fortitude 15 save against CON damage, cause that poison goes for six rounds.
    LESHY: Jeez!
    DM: We don't need to bother...


    DM: He tells you, "This lock has 73,000 possible combinations." Do you want to try it?
    SORCERER: Can I take 10?


    BARD: I ask Monkle how the Common is going.
    LESHY: Monkle don't need your Common!
    SUMMONER: Aren't you ashamed to enslave a goblin?
    LESHY: He's not a slave! He's a forced adoption!
    SUMMONER: Someday he's gonna want to leave!
    LESHY: No! And maybe I go with him!


    SUMMONER: Send the birds ahead. Double Movement.
    DM: That's 160 feet.
    SUMMONER: "C'mon posse!"


    LESHY: What's your alignment?
    BARD: Do we get that?
    WITCH/ROGUE: I have a blank space...
    DM: I don't allow evil. Except maybe Lawful Evil because they can work with other alignments with their own skew.
    WITCH/ROGUE: Chaotic Edgy?


    WITCH/ROGUE: When I stab I want to do like a prison shrug like it didn't happen.
    LESHY: "How'd that happen?"
    BARD: "It's a healing shiv, wait for it!"
    Empyreal Lord of the Elysian Realm of Well-Intentioned Fail

  9. - Top - End - #99
    Pixie in the Playground
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    "French-Canadian drop bears! As you walk through the sugar maple groves, all unsuspecting..."

    later "I've been wondering what those would really be. Black bears, because Quebec? Small moose, because Canada?...wait...WOLVERINES!"

    even later "Maybe the bear is the one playing poker. What's a demonic bear's tells? Sure, its stitches are constantly unraveling and reforming and its eyes are glowing red, but which one of those means it's got a good hand? YOU don't know."




    "She's wearing a battle bikini. Where does she even keep that sword? No scabbard."

    "It's a living blade, right? Maybe it wraps around her leg like a snake."

    "No, around her head, and the end sticks out like this, like the most horrifying unicorn ever."

    "I like to go for the visceral horror myself--she just slits open her torso and pulls it out from there, spraying blood."

    "So that whole thing about teaching them fear is actually the sword telling you about all this?"

    "'I've seen things, man, you don't even know!'"




    "Ve put our triggers on der veapons, vere dey belonk!"

  10. - Top - End - #100
    Spamalot in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Quote Originally Posted by Coventry View Post
    Spoiler: Responses
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    Living dangerously, there, my friend ...
    Yeah, Doc's comments get him into so much trouble. :3


    Doc: "The radio DJ said 'dad-bods' are the thing now."
    Mirror: "Hon, your dad-bod was always a thing to me."
    Doc: "Yay, I was sexy before I cool. ...wait."

    Max: "My brain hates my eyes for seeing this."

    Doc: "So we need a mission that goes badly, one of our generic NPCs die, and then he's replaced by a sassy kirin pirate mare."
    GM: "You write way too many fanfics."

    Doc: "Since we're traveling, we could stop someplace remote to research this safely."
    Max: "I don't know where'd you find books on this outside the cities, you know?"
    Doc: "Well no, you know I don't know."
    Max: "Yes, I know you don't know.

    GM: "Are you going to give the droid a designation?"
    Max: "Um... H2-SO4."
    Charity: "Great until it melts through the floor."
    Max: "That would be ionic."
    GM: "Ugh..."
    Doc: "We're all about the base jokes here."

    Mirror: "I saw it on an old black-and-white TV."
    GM: "Was your bed vibrating at the time?"

    Doc: "Remind me of the job we're doing."
    Max: "We're picking up a guy--"
    GM: "A mare."
    Max: "--gal, and taking her to meet some miners at a steel plant."
    Doc: "Huh. They don't look all that young."
    Max: "Miners, you idiot! Not minors."

    GM: "Must I be the butt of your jokes?"
    Max: "Well I am feeling cheeky this session."

    Pirate mare: "Might I use your radio?"
    Doc: "Knock your socks off."
    Max: "Oh yes. Please do."

    GM: "Shoot first and ask questions later?"
    Max: "I can ask questions while I'm shooting them."

    Mirror: "They do exist and they brought us yellow sno-cones."
    Charity: "It's lemon, honest."
    Last edited by DigoDragon; 2019-06-22 at 09:44 PM.
    Digo Dragon - Artist
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  11. - Top - End - #101
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    GM: AND A CRIT ON THE SENSOR!
    Love: "New reality? Adapted. This is my home now! This isn't my first reality rodeo!"
    Longshot: "You can't deny Love. She will find a way to make herself at home and she will find a way to make herself your friend. WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT."


    Love: "Am I the bad guy?"


    Longshot: "Love is... what happens if you throw the Borg and Fluttershy in a blender and hit 'paladin'."
    GM: *mimicking Love* "You're going to LOVE MEEE!!"
    Love: "I'm not like that."
    Longshot: *looks at Love flooding the ship with drones while firing stun shots at zombies*


    Love: "Turns may no longer be measured in seconds! My ability to exactly measure seconds is wrapped!"


    Longshot: "So what you're saying is... At some point Pinkie Pie fundamentally warped reality in some fashion so that time occasionally hiccups whereby friends can carry on conversations and smoothly enjoy interactions without interruption?"


    GM: "Yes. Definitely."
    Longshot: *will not question this*


    GM: "So it may be trying to toss a frisbee your way."
    Longshot: "These extreme sports are getting out of control."


    Longshot: "I wouldn't touch it until you know for sure it's safe."
    Love: "I'm not sure it'll ever be safe, but it might be a way if there is a Will."
    Longshot: "There's already the possibility that LS is 'infected', we don't need another one of us under watch."
    Love: "Technically, Longshot is wearing Sealed armor, but who knows with this stuff."
    Longshot: "I don't, that's for certain."


    Rem: "Hmm. New material."
    Last edited by D.KnightSpider; 2019-06-23 at 02:33 PM.

  12. - Top - End - #102
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    GnomePirate

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Vocala: Do vampires poop?

    Ithelwyn: *drops a die* That wasn't a roll! *beat* Can I keep it?

    Vocala: You suck butts, and you smell like you suck butts!
    Barbarian: *dies*

    Vocala: It's my sexy mom's turn.
    Ronyn: So that's which way you swing.

    Ithelwyn: Oh no! Right in the hummus!

    Vocala: Rosa Parks is the most irritating person to fight! She just won't go to the back.

    Vocala: They didn't have pron in the 17th century.

    GM: They're being influenced by your magic.
    Vocala: No they're not. They don't even realize its magic!

  13. - Top - End - #103
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Guizonde's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Quote Originally Posted by malachi View Post
    Vocala: They didn't have pron in the 17th century.
    yes they did, it was just classier and engraved. also illegal.

    also, this little ooc gem:

    me: get drunk in your underwear without washing for 3 days, then mosh pit in your living room in front of the scenic arts channel.

    Spoiler: dreaded context
    Show
    how to sum up a festival experience to a neophyte.
    Last edited by Guizonde; 2019-06-24 at 02:19 PM.
    Spoiler: quotes
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    regarding my choice of sustenance:
    Quote Originally Posted by Raimun View Post
    I'm going to judge you.
    My judgement is: That is awesome.
    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    GM: “If it doesn't move and it should, use duct tape. If it moves and it shouldn't, use a shotgun.”
    dm is Miltonian, credit where credit is due.

    when in doubt,
    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard View Post
    Ask the beret wearing insect men of Athas.

  14. - Top - End - #104
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    GnomePirate

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Quote Originally Posted by Guizonde View Post
    yes they did, it was just classier and engraved. also illegal.
    That's ok, the player was slightly intoxicated at the time, so I'll let the inaccuracy pass. :D

  15. - Top - End - #105
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Guizonde's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Quote Originally Posted by malachi View Post
    That's ok, the player was slightly intoxicated at the time. :D
    what a coincidence! so were 17th century pron engravers!

    no seriously, just look at what they were drawing. they were on some strong what-the-stuff. and people say art history is useless... it's good for a laugh and a half!
    Spoiler: quotes
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    regarding my choice of sustenance:
    Quote Originally Posted by Raimun View Post
    I'm going to judge you.
    My judgement is: That is awesome.
    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    GM: “If it doesn't move and it should, use duct tape. If it moves and it shouldn't, use a shotgun.”
    dm is Miltonian, credit where credit is due.

    when in doubt,
    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard View Post
    Ask the beret wearing insect men of Athas.

  16. - Top - End - #106
    Pixie in the Playground
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Wanted to share some of the quotes from my campaigns:

    "I just have one question for you..."
    *chik-chik*
    "Are you evil?"

    "I don't know what blast discs are but they sound like explosive Frisbees, so I'm all for it!"

    DM: "So we only can give you 5 blast disks-"
    *PC1 grabs disk and throws it*
    PC1: "Now its 4!"

    "You're getting my zip-line confused with the plot"

    "Why do all of your plans involve us going to jail!?"

    "Why would I want to think? I just want to shoot things!"
    "Says the paladin!"

    "We figured out what kind of terrorist we are. 9/11 is out but Kennedy assassination is alright"

    To DM: "You thought you were going to kill us. Turns out were going to kill us ourselves"

    "Congratulations, you've graduated to Saturday morning cartoon show villains"

    "Spend 5 minutes searching around on the floor for it, then when I get up and am just about to say **** it when I step on it"

    "Why are we heroes?"
    "We finally crashed the right airship"
    "It was inevitable, just process of elimination really"
    Last edited by Bzbody; 2019-06-27 at 09:31 PM. Reason: Edited for clarity

  17. - Top - End - #107
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    MonkGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    DM: As a plant, it's intrigued by you and thinks you might not be food.
    SUMMONER: Not another pet!
    LESHY: No, I swear!
    SORCERER: What's its name?
    LESHY:...Fiji!
    SUMMONER: <groan>


    LESHY: All right, it's violent, I'll attack it!
    SORCERER: Noooo!
    LESHY: Fiji I loved you! But you're going down!
    SORCERER: You were supposed to be the chosen one!


    SORCERER: This thing was a giant mushroom? Is it tasty?
    SUMMONER: You're not putting that in your mouth, no.


    DM: An eidolon is not a slave. Technically, I could have him say, "You know, we're not doing that today"
    SORCERER: You know what? Running into three traps on purpose would have been a good time for that.
    SUMMONER: Heh.


    LESHY: (after five minutes of argument that a magical creature's natural attacks are automatically magic) It says explicitly, at level three, my attacks are considered magic for the purposes of DR.
    TABLE: YOU ARE LEVEL THREE! WE TOLD YOU THAT LAST WEEK!
    LESHY: No!
    TABLE: Yes!
    LESHY: Oh well then, I can hit em now then.
    Empyreal Lord of the Elysian Realm of Well-Intentioned Fail

  18. - Top - End - #108
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    SleepyShadow's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    These are listed in no particular order beyond when I remembered them.

    ***

    "Can I keep the skeleton wheel?"

    "I just made 36,000 glass bottles. I'm basically king."

    "No taking children to the Feywild!"

    "When did we start playing Star Wars?"

    "How is it not breaking the economy when the druid has 110,000 platinum?"

    "Just what we need. More #1 bullcrap."

    "Bite the werewolf on the ear to show dominance!"

    "The wizard won't shut up about tanking a helicopter crash."

    "I put gold dust in my beer."

    "Am I the only one who doesn't have a tragic backstory?"

    "64,000 acres! A penny an acre! Such value!"

    "I thought you said your brain was made of cabbage. Now it's oatmeal?"

    "The Shadowfell is powered by Evanescence songs."

    "It's really hard playing Chaotic Neutral while sober."

    "Whoo! We hit level nine! The party no longer needs me!"

    "She turned our chuck wagon into Optimus Prime."

    "It always worries me when you have to buy more miniatures mid-session."

  19. - Top - End - #109
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    Inevitability's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    "I go to investigate this disturbance in an orderly and legal manner."

    "There's giant bloody wolf paw prints, eviscerated corpses, a magical silver arrow, and to top it all off it's full moon."
    "Well yeah, but that doesn't mean a werewolf did it."

    "I ask him who the killer isn't, then cast Command: Lie!"
    "On the one hand this kinda killed the mystery but on the other hand I'm too impressed to not allow it."

    "I never actually tortured her beloved mentor figure, so I'm pretty sure that still counts as lawful good."

    "Please realize that you're a 350-year-old dwarf who's asking a teenage girl to leave her hometown and go live with him."

    "Inside the priest's closet, you find a small shrine to Malar."
    "Is that bad?"
    "If you're not an evil lycanthrope, it is."
    Have you had enough of unreasonably high LA's and unplayable monsters in 3.5? Then check out the LA-assignment thread! Don't hesitate to give feedback!

    Extended signature!

  20. - Top - End - #110
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Guizonde's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Quote Originally Posted by Inevitability View Post
    "I go to investigate this disturbance in an orderly and legal manner."
    in a similar vein due to a particularly bad railroad from an inexperienced dm.

    friend: gui! quit nazi goose-stepping in a frivolous way!
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    regarding my choice of sustenance:
    Quote Originally Posted by Raimun View Post
    I'm going to judge you.
    My judgement is: That is awesome.
    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    GM: “If it doesn't move and it should, use duct tape. If it moves and it shouldn't, use a shotgun.”
    dm is Miltonian, credit where credit is due.

    when in doubt,
    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard View Post
    Ask the beret wearing insect men of Athas.

  21. - Top - End - #111
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    "It is less than optimal to taunt the judge when your lawyer's defense is so half-hearted."

  22. - Top - End - #112
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    MonkGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    LESHY: Are giant cockroach legs like snow crab?
    PALADIN: Save me some!
    SORCERER: I'll just be over here, barfing.


    DM: You see the door is boarded over, the doorknob is removed and a spike driven through the lock.
    PALADIN: Don't...
    WITCH/ROGUE: Oh I gots to.


    DM: You have defeated the swarm!
    LESHY: Can we eat them now?
    SORCERER: Are you eating spiders??
    DM: Monkle shakes her head with her mouth full.


    SUMMONER: You're aware goblins hate dogs?
    LESHY: Dogs and horses.
    PALADIN: I got a dog and a horse!
    SUMMONER: Well just be advised she's gonna slit their throats one day.
    DM: Hmm....you're good for today.
    LESHY: I'll be Monkle's conscience when it comes to dogs and horses.
    BARD: You're her Jiminy Cricket?
    Last edited by TheYell; 2019-07-04 at 02:46 AM.
    Empyreal Lord of the Elysian Realm of Well-Intentioned Fail

  23. - Top - End - #113
    Spamalot in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Quote Originally Posted by TheYell View Post
    SORCERER: I'll just be over here, barfing.
    Ewww. Ditto.


    Doc: "Wanna help me give Trixie a bath?"
    Charity: "No."
    Doc: "Come on, it'll earn you brownie points."
    Charity: (Disney princess singing) "I don't careee!"
    Digo Dragon - Artist
    D&D 5e Homebrew: My Little Pony Races
    Avatar by me - Doc Wagon

  24. - Top - End - #114
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    "leave the Moon alone!"

    The Queen: "There will be no "yo"s in my court!"

    "Quack at me again, I will destroy all you hold dear."

    "Who let you in, and why are you dressed like a sheep?"
    (My answer to this was to look at the DM and say "Farmers-only, find local-" where I was cut off by explosive laughter, and the DM was choking on a soda)

    "Hey mister, that's real charitable and all... But... What do I do with a sword?"

    "These are not the orphans your looking for" waving hand like a Jedi.

    "How much for the child? I wish to add it to" in dark voice "the collection!"

    "There's no kinky dungeon in here!... Don't move any furniture looking for a hatch... And if you find one...I didn't know it was there!"
    Last edited by jintoya; 2019-07-04 at 04:41 PM.

  25. - Top - End - #115
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    BardGuy

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    Jul 2010

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Spoiler: Home Made System, Fun New Cast
    Show

    Marv: Military Specialist, trained with every possible weapon. Has a cybernetic arm.
    Dan: Private investigator. Wears a coat made out of a possessed straight jacket. Knows Martial Arts.
    Master Of Puppets (MOP): Said possessed coat. Is indestructible and can harden at will. Voiced by the peanut gallery.
    Night Hunter (NH): Unicorn guard from Equestria. Very good with battle magic.
    Nova: High School Student. Has a Stand named Big Bad Voodoo Daddy that can transfer damage to other objects. Party healer.
    June: Tech Witch. Loves creating transforming weapons with AI.


    Dan: "I think the Glock just hissed at me."

    June: "Something wrong? You look stressed."
    Marv: "Gee, let me think. I'm talking to a girl that's petting a dog that's also a sniper rifle, while in a room with a private d!ck who's jacket is arguing with a kid that's got some kind of strange ghost, and there's a mythical pony with a horn sitting over there. Also, MY ARM JUST GOT BLOWN OFF!"

    Nova: "So... Pony?"
    NH: "Yep."
    Nova: "World full of magic?"
    NH: "Yep."
    Nova: "Is it peaceful?"
    NH: "Usually. Unless the kingdom gets invaded by magic eating monsters, armies, power mad unicorn kings, swarms of changelings, or some other threat from a thousand years ago. Though the princesses and their friends handle it pretty quickly."
    Nova: "How often does that happen?"
    NH: "About once or twice a year. You can almost mark it on the calendar."

    MOP: "Dan, did you let the girl modify your guns?"
    Dan: "Yes, why?"
    MOP: "Because your holster is purring."

    June: "Here you go! One cyber arm fresh from the workshop!"
    Marv: "And you didn't install an AI in it, right?"
    June: "Nope. Though it would have been better if it had one."
    Marv: "And you didn't add any strange or unnatural features to it?"
    June: "No. Just the standard dynamos, neural links, and pistons, as requested."
    Marv: "Good."
    June: "And a rocket punch."
    Marv: "...I'm ok with this."

    Nova: "Any plans on getting past the guards?"
    Marv: *pulls out silenced sniper rifle*
    Nova: "...good plan."

    MOP: (to June) "You're the lovely gooey center of a bulletproof s'more. You're more than safe."

    Nova: "Wow. Look at this armory!"
    Marv: "Yeah, they have everything. Including a... TANK!"
    Nove: "Tank?"
    Marv: "It's mine, mine, Mine, Mine, MINE!"

    NH: "RUN FASTER!"
    June: "We're going as fast as we can!"
    Dan: "'We'? I'm carrying you!"
    June: "And I'm trying to shoot! Stop wobbling so much!"
    Dan: "Stop nagging me woman, or I'll drop you!"

    Nova: "Hey Marv, lower the cannon! I want to ride it!"
    Marv: "... you want to ride my long, hard, wiggly thing, I hope you know where this is going."

    NH: "Was that Nova?"
    Dan: "And Marv?"
    June: "In a tank?"
    MOP: "What are the odds?"

    Dan: "Nova, get out of the tank!"
    Nova: "You're not my dad!"
    Dan: "I'm in charge of this mission, get out of the tank!"
    Nova: "I'm in the tank and you're not!"
    Dan: "Get out of the Tank!"
    Nova: "I'm literally in the tank and you're not."
    Dan: "LITERALLY GET OUT OF THE TANK!"
    Nova: "No."
    Dan: "Ok."
    If there is anything I learned from D&D, it is to never bull rush a Gelatenous Cube.

    Spoiler: Visit me
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    Spoiler: Old Projects
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    Project Loreshift, game development in Progress

    Races of Wake

    Wake Human subspecies


    Anyone who reads this has just lost "the Game".

  26. - Top - End - #116
    Spamalot in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Quote Originally Posted by ZeroGear View Post
    Nova: "How often does that happen?"
    NH: "About once or twice a year. You can almost mark it on the calendar."
    Weekly friendship problems not included?


    Max: "Do you know what my first relationship was like?"
    Doc: "A mad-libs fanfic?"

    GM: "They said that Aliens was a bad movie."
    Max: "What?! Well then go to hell!"
    GM: "Don't damn me to hell, damn them for saying it!"
    Max: "I'm damning them through you!"
    Doc: "You are the conduit for which the damnation travels."

    GM: "Dang it, earthpony! Stop making your Fort saves and derailing my railroad!"

    GM: "Do you acquiesce to the grapple?"
    Doc: "Gee, I could surrender now or get my nose bloodied and then surrender. Such choices."

    Charity: *so lazy she shrugs with just one shoulder*
    Digo Dragon - Artist
    D&D 5e Homebrew: My Little Pony Races
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  27. - Top - End - #117
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Telok's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    "We don't need to investigate anything. The racist drow murder cops said it's a pirate base and thats good enough for me. Break out those orbital bombardment rules and warm up the plasma cannons..."
    Niven's Laws, #5
    If you've nothing to say, say it any way you like. Stylistic innovations, contorted story lines or none, exotic or genderless pronouns, internal inconsistencies, the recipe for preparing your lover as a cannibal banquet: feel free. If what you have to say is important and/or difficult to follow, use the simplest language possible. If the reader doesn't get it then, let it not be your fault.

  28. - Top - End - #118
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Longshot: [The GM] is back among the land of the... connected? Information super highway? Living dead?
    GM: Definitely the latter.

    Rose: Good cause even though Rose has the skills, it's hard cracking open your own head to fix a thing.

    Longshot: *crits a Trace Teleport check and sees the subject in the bathroom* "... I hate my life."

    Rose: I can make it happen, but you might get burned afterwards.
    Brazen: That's what the Sex Appeal skill is for *fingerguns*

    Rose: Aww, looks like we got our own Chinese bot today.

    Love: Fireproof is really good. If anything, that'll be the spell that makes Love give up lasers
    Longshot: It makes for a good human torch cosplay.

    Longshot: Normally the [Survey Company] is slightly less... degrading... in their questions.

  29. - Top - End - #119
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    bc56's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Player: Solas gets off his soapbox about saving the monkeys and tries to kill it.
    Awesome avatar (Kothar, paladin of Tlacua) by Linkele!

    I do not "ninja."
    I pirate.
    Yarr!

    Quote Originally Posted by William Shakespeare, King Lear, IV.i.46
    'Tis the time's plague, when madmen lead the blind.
    My Nexus characters

  30. - Top - End - #120
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Lord Torath's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VII: (Edited for less context)

    Quote Originally Posted by bc56 View Post
    Player: Solas gets off his soapbox about saving the monkeys and tries to kill it.
    Tries to kill the monkey? Or the soapbox?
    Thri-Kreen Ranger/Psionicist by me, based off of Rich's A Monster for Every Season

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