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  1. - Top - End - #31
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    NecromancerGuy

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    I have really bad brain fog most days that really hurts my productivity at work. Iím trying to find the cause.
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  2. - Top - End - #32
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    WolfInSheepsClothing

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Gluten can mess with me for weeks (brain fog, and digestional issues). I tested negative for Celiac disease with one test. My idjit doctor was all like you can eat gluten . . . I cannot eat gluten and feel well. Trust but verify, there are idjits everywhere. I never took a different test I later learned about involving eating gluten, waiting, and then having a camera up the posterior in order to check for damage

    Also red food coloring (often crushed bugs) makes me bounce off of the walls.

    You may want to start a diet that slowly adds foods so you can figure out what is messing with you.

    But mainly I would start with things that have been thrown into foods recently-ish . . . like the explosion of gluten in wheat (to make baking bread faster and more profitable), artificial stuff tossed into foods, and food colorings.

    Perhaps start by eating what your grandmother (great-grandmother?) would recognize as food (that has not been messed with by a mad scientist).

    Eggs, eggs are my friend. Perhaps they can be your friend as well.
    Last edited by darkrose50; 2019-05-16 at 07:53 AM.

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    DwarfFighterGuy

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by Zhentarim View Post
    I have really bad brain fog most days that really hurts my productivity at work. Iím trying to find the cause.
    As darkrose 50 said, it could be diet if something has changed recently. While gluten and "chemicals" are the go-to boogeymen today, it might be anything, including a newly-developing allergy to something you were always able to eat before. A doctor could tell you more, if this is correct.

    The more likely culprit these days is sleep. Make sure you're getting enough each night.

    And of course there's mental health. Brain fog can be a symptom of anxiety and depression (plus others, I'd imagine), so if you've been experiencing those feeling outside of the brain fog I'd encourage you to see your doctor to discuss it.

  4. - Top - End - #34
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    NecromancerGuy

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by ve4grm View Post
    As darkrose 50 said, it could be diet if something has changed recently. While gluten and "chemicals" are the go-to boogeymen today, it might be anything, including a newly-developing allergy to something you were always able to eat before. A doctor could tell you more, if this is correct.

    The more likely culprit these days is sleep. Make sure you're getting enough each night.

    And of course there's mental health. Brain fog can be a symptom of anxiety and depression (plus others, I'd imagine), so if you've been experiencing those feeling outside of the brain fog I'd encourage you to see your doctor to discuss it.
    Iíve had at least a little brain fog for 75% of my life, but its gotten far worse latelyóregardless of if I get more or less sleep. Iím about to start sleeping less and working more to try to pay off some debt I have.

    I also have treatment-resistant dysthymia which I think causes my usual low level fog, but again, its been worse the last few months.

    Iíve tried pretty mych everything to treat my dysthymia, except I havenít consistently exercised because Iím prone to injuring myselfóI have a tailbone injury so sit ups are out of the question, and running gives me shin splints. Swimming might be a good exercise if I didnít live in a small economically depressed town and had a place to swim. In my effort to build my income up enough to clear my debt (which eats up 1,000 a month and that I could pay off in less than two years if I work extra), I wonít have time except after dark to excerise.

    My plan when I get rid of the debt is to return to somewhat normal working hours and to focus just on getting healthy. I might still moonlight on weekends, but I know what Iím about to do wonít be sustainable with my mental healthóbut it needs done.
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  5. - Top - End - #35
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    PaladinGuy

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zhentarim View Post
    Iíve had at least a little brain fog for 75% of my life, but its gotten far worse latelyóregardless of if I get more or less sleep. Iím about to start sleeping less and working more to try to pay off some debt I have.

    I also have treatment-resistant dysthymia which I think causes my usual low level fog, but again, its been worse the last few months.

    Iíve tried pretty mych everything to treat my dysthymia, except I havenít consistently exercised because Iím prone to injuring myselfóI have a tailbone injury so sit ups are out of the question, and running gives me shin splints. Swimming might be a good exercise if I didnít live in a small economically depressed town and had a place to swim. In my effort to build my income up enough to clear my debt (which eats up 1,000 a month and that I could pay off in less than two years if I work extra), I wonít have time except after dark to excerise.

    My plan when I get rid of the debt is to return to somewhat normal working hours and to focus just on getting healthy. I might still moonlight on weekends, but I know what Iím about to do wonít be sustainable with my mental healthóbut it needs done.
    Stress can be a big one. I went through a similar problem when I worked at a big box store and was taking full-time online courses. The stress gave me this constant low throbbing headache that made getting things done difficult. I also recommend doing healthy things to de-stress like reading a book a watching a tv series episode or playing a video game you really like thatís fun and not depressing in content. Also if you watch tv or play a video game be careful of snacking unhealthily. Just doing something simple you enjoy can help relieve a lot of stress.

  6. - Top - End - #36
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    re: zhentarim
    are you able to handle milder exercise like walking/biking, or do those also aggravate the shin splints?
    If nothing else you could probably use a small hand weight while watching tv.
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    Lizardfolk

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Swimming shouldn't put much pressure on your shins, way less then other forms of cardio.
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    I feel like I could benefit from seeing some manner of therapist. Or maybe 'need', I don't know, that seems like a strong word. This is a thought that has recurred to me from time to time over the last few months, generally followed in short order by 'too bad I don't have a job so I can't afford to even try therapy'. Unfortunately, the 'not trying therapy' strategy I've been taking thus far hasn't really been working out too hot, so it's the ol' catch-22.

    I guess I've been hoping things would just kind of, I don't know, get better.
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  9. - Top - End - #39
    Ettin in the Playground
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by Comrade View Post
    I feel like I could benefit from seeing some manner of therapist. Or maybe 'need', I don't know, that seems like a strong word. This is a thought that has recurred to me from time to time over the last few months, generally followed in short order by 'too bad I don't have a job so I can't afford to even try therapy'. Unfortunately, the 'not trying therapy' strategy I've been taking thus far hasn't really been working out too hot, so it's the ol' catch-22.

    I guess I've been hoping things would just kind of, I don't know, get better.
    Mental health issues rarely get better on their own. Neither does cancer.

    Question is more if you have some free source available to you, or if there are organizations / NGOs around that could offer you free sources for joining them.

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    WolfInSheepsClothing

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    I just heard a story about a study on NPR where they had two groups: (a) people who could eat any amount of preserved foods, and (b) people who could eat any amount of unpreserved foods. The folks that ate preserved foods ate 20% more and gained something like 2 pounds over the month. The folks who ate unpreserved foods lost something like 2 pounds in the month.

    My go-to foods are:

    Ensure's: Hungry or thirsty? In a few seconds you won't be!
    Almonds: Lots of protein.
    Energy Bars: A quick meal.
    Chocolate Bars: A quick bunch of calories.

    I definitely need to start picking up some fruit (or other non-preserved foods) on the way to work or at lunch. Those preserved foods mess with you somehow. I remember hearing a story about taste fatigue, and how Doritos are designed to not trigger this, so you eat more.

    Apparently I should weigh ~149 - 183. I am ~5'10", I have a big frame, and when I was in the best shape of my adult life I weighed ~190-200 pounds (age 19 and lots of physical labor). I think that I would look sickly at 150-183. When I am closer to 205-215 I feel a lot better, then when I am closer to 240-250. I try to keep to around 205-215.

    The scale ran out of batteries, and I needed some dental work done (I had a horrible dentist, but the new one seems to be some sort of space wizard). I was eating a lot more chocolate bars then almonds and packed on the pounds. I felt really bad. Loosing the weight really seems to have helped.
    Last edited by darkrose50; 2019-05-17 at 11:13 AM.

  11. - Top - End - #41
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by Comrade View Post
    I feel like I could benefit from seeing some manner of therapist. Or maybe 'need', I don't know, that seems like a strong word. This is a thought that has recurred to me from time to time over the last few months, generally followed in short order by 'too bad I don't have a job so I can't afford to even try therapy'. Unfortunately, the 'not trying therapy' strategy I've been taking thus far hasn't really been working out too hot, so it's the ol' catch-22.

    I guess I've been hoping things would just kind of, I don't know, get better.
    See if a local university will give you free sessions with a student? I know Chiropractor students have to provide 400 free hours to get their certifications, I don't know if the same is true with the psych community.

    Quote Originally Posted by darkrose50 View Post
    I just heard a story about a study on NPR where they had two groups: (a) people who could eat any amount of preserved foods, and (b) people who could eat any amount of unpreserved foods. The folks that ate preserved foods ate 20% more and gained something like 2 pounds over the month. The folks who ate unpreserved foods lost something like 2 pounds in the month.

    My go-to foods are:

    Ensure's: Hungry or thirsty? In a few seconds you won't be!
    Almonds: Lots of protein.
    Energy Bars: A quick meal.
    Chocolate Bars: A quick bunch of calories.

    I definitely need to start picking up some fruit (or other non-preserved foods) on the way to work or at lunch. Those preserved foods mess with you somehow. I remember hearing a story about taste fatigue, and how Doritos are designed to not trigger this, so you eat more.

    Apparently I should weigh ~149 - 183. I am ~5'10", I have a big frame, and when I was in the best shape of my adult life I weighed ~190-200 pounds (age 19 and lots of physical labor). I think that I would look sickly at 150-183. When I am closer to 205-215 I feel a lot better, then when I am closer to 240-250. I try to keep to around 205-215.

    The scale ran out of batteries, and I needed some dental work done (I had a horrible dentist, but the new one seems to be some sort of space wizard). I was eating a lot more chocolate bars then almonds and packed on the pounds. I felt really bad. Loosing the weight really seems to have helped.
    Natural food tends to have less caloric density and have a higher satiation amount, which helps to make you fuller for less calories. Drinking calories is how doctors get individual's weights up, which makes shakes suspect as a weight loss device in my mind. Energy bars fall into that area as well, that is why you take them hiking :)

    Nuts are actually quite high calories, I have stagnated my weight loss before by overeating them. They are very healthy for heart reasons, just saying they tend to not fill you up and have calories. Taking the time to actually make food tends to be the best way to lose weight, the Mediterranean diet is successful in large part because it takes a lot of preparation and has high satiation points.
    Last edited by Tvtyrant; 2019-05-17 at 05:15 PM.
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  12. - Top - End - #42
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by Tvtyrant View Post
    See if a local university will give you free sessions with a student? I know Chiropractor students have to provide 400 free hours to get their certifications, I don't know if the same is true with the psych community.
    Many of them do, yeah - a lot of licensed professions require practice hours to qualify, so cheap/free service from people doing their practical study portion can be found if you know where. One of the main downsides (aside from the bit about getting your medical care from somebody who, by definition, doesn't have a lot of experience) is you don't often get continuity of care. When your student-practitioner finishes their semester or two of practice hours they move on, and if you still need care at that point you get to start again with a new student.

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    Quote Originally Posted by tyckspoon View Post
    Many of them do, yeah - a lot of licensed professions require practice hours to qualify, so cheap/free service from people doing their practical study portion can be found if you know where. One of the main downsides (aside from the bit about getting your medical care from somebody who, by definition, doesn't have a lot of experience) is you don't often get continuity of care. When your student-practitioner finishes their semester or two of practice hours they move on, and if you still need care at that point you get to start again with a new student.
    Where I am, you just can't call yourself a therapist or something without serious training and you cannot get into serious training without prior job experience.

    When I had a serious case of depression, I opted for one of the training centers for therapists and the woman that had to work with me had a serious background in social work and drug treatment, while I knew that there was a supervisor in place to handle her performance.

    Now I was confident with the setup, as Cordula, a former friend of mine, progressed along the same route and I knew what I was getting into.

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    I don't think there are places around here that offer free counseling. I've found a group that has grad students serving as interns who do sessions supervised by licensed professionals-- they charge on a sliding scale based on income, and I don't know if that sliding scale slides all the way down to 'has no income'. I'll give them a call though. Don't mind trying to scrape together at least a little money one way or another if it means resolving this spell of recurring unhappiness.
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    WolfInSheepsClothing

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by Tvtyrant View Post
    See if a local university will give you free sessions with a student? I know Chiropractor students have to provide 400 free hours to get their certifications, I don't know if the same is true with the psych community.



    Natural food tends to have less caloric density and have a higher satiation amount, which helps to make you fuller for less calories. Drinking calories is how doctors get individual's weights up, which makes shakes suspect as a weight loss device in my mind. Energy bars fall into that area as well, that is why you take them hiking :)

    Nuts are actually quite high calories, I have stagnated my weight loss before by overeating them. They are very healthy for heart reasons, just saying they tend to not fill you up and have calories. Taking the time to actually make food tends to be the best way to lose weight, the Mediterranean diet is successful in large part because it takes a lot of preparation and has high satiation points.

    [1] High caloric foods often help me eat less. High caloric foods that are quick, easy, and do not spoil are preferred to stock up and keep in my desk at work.
    [2] Sometimes I forget to eat.
    [3] Sometimes I am not sure if I am hungry or thirsty.
    [4] Milk is my go-to lazy meal that checks off hunger and thirst. I think that I often overdue it and drink copious amounts of milk.
    [5] Sugary things go quite well with milk, and sometimes I overdue eating sugary things when I drink milk. Eating sugary things also causes me to drink more milk.
    [6] Ensure fills the above role of milk (fast, checks off hunger and thirst), but does not trigger my desire to eat surgery things. I go from hungry/thirsty to not in seconds. I am often amazed at this. It is helpful when I forget to eat/drink and might overeat otherwise. This is a very convenient late night snack if I forgot to eat dinner or whatnot. Ensures are also really useful when it is busy at work.

    The last few months I have been eating a 1-2 yogurts and 0-2 ensures, and a few handfuls of almonds throughout the day (this covers breakfast and lunch). I then eat a food bar in the car on the way home as a snack (sometimes on the way to work as well), and drink over a pint of water. I seem to have lost quite a bit, and it has been somewhat effortless.

    The last few weeks I switched to a pint of blueberries, a few handfuls of almonds throughout the day, and a food bar in the car on the way home. I am enjoying the fresh fruit thing. I hope I can find it in me to switch to rotate though different fruit, but blueberries are just too convenient (wash them, put them in a pint-sized paper coffee cup, and "drink" them thought-out the day).

    Quote Originally Posted by Comrade View Post
    I don't think there are places around here that offer free counseling. I've found a group that has grad students serving as interns who do sessions supervised by licensed professionals-- they charge on a sliding scale based on income, and I don't know if that sliding scale slides all the way down to 'has no income'. I'll give them a call though. Don't mind trying to scrape together at least a little money one way or another if it means resolving this spell of recurring unhappiness.
    Often the goal of therapy is to change the way that you think about things. I am betting that a good therapist is definitely the best way to go.

    Religious indoctrination or simply talking to a priest or whatnot can be beneficial. Self-help books can help some people. I for one would study the ways of Fred Rogers . . . that man was amazing. I think that the country would benefit tremendously from someone like Fred Rogers right now.
    Last edited by darkrose50; 2019-05-23 at 08:28 AM.

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    I've been emotionally grappling with a bit of a thorny set of thoughts, but I'm not sure who I could really speak to about it. In my immediate circle, I feel like if I explained the context, it'd either sound extremely petty or frivolous, or my thought process to get to it is kind of weird. It is related to gaming, but it touches on topics not appropriate for this place, namely along political lines.
    "Reach down into your heart and you'll find many reasons to fight. Survival. Honor. Glory. But what about those who feel it's their duty to protect the innocent? There you'll find a warrior savage enough to match any dragon, and in the end, they'll retain what the others won't. Their humanity."

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    So I'm in Bradford, UK. I don't live here permanently, I am registered to a dentist in the south and I'm moving back to sweden halfway through next month.

    I need a temp filling replaced with a permanent one. How can I do that quick and affordable? If I look at the NHS site, nobody's advertising new NHS patients. For private care, one quoted me at something like 110/120 pounds, which is only twice what the NHS would ask for, which sounded not entirely unreasonable, but when I called them back they told me the books were full and they'd need new books/there were new dentists and I should call back next friday . Another told me they'd charge me 40 just to have a look at me and wouldn't estimate how much the filling'd cost, so I suspect a trap...

    The bureaucracy of these places seems a bit screwy. When I ask them if they do NHS treatment, the one place that did said they do and wouldn't take me, even though I'm asking for a one off. Like, I can't imagine they're all booked all the time when they've got a cap on their allotted patients.

    Private dentistry here is probably cheaper than what I can get in Sweden, if the 110 price holds up.

    How can I get treatment (without breaking the bank)
    It's a rearmost upper tooth.
    Last edited by The Jack; 2019-05-28 at 04:12 AM.

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    I'm going to kvetch for a bit.

    I'm pretty deep down the depression hole right now. I have been on a diet for years, so I can't eat my anxiety like I used to. My car accident back in January makes it difficult to use exercise as a crutch, and my girlfriend and I no longer spend much time together. As all of my anxiety outlets dry up, I am finding the lifelong depression and anxiety issues I have been dealing with rising to the front.

    Interestingly I did not realize I was using my girlfriend as a release outlet until today when I was wondering why I am so despondent.

    I have been trying to work on this masters thesis for years, my imposed deadline is July 1st when I get kicked out and will need go get a full time job. Paper writing gives me tremendous anxiety, to the point where I used to do some self-mutilation as a teen and young adult and have panic attacks.

    That is also why my post count is up, I tend to flick through the forums between paragraphs. Helps me cool down a bit.

    Currently I'm finding myself drifting towards ye olde running away or jumping off a bridge fantasies. One more month and then I am done either way though, going to be fun.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tvtyrant View Post
    I'm going to kvetch for a bit.

    I'm pretty deep down the depression hole right now. I have been on a diet for years, so I can't eat my anxiety like I used to. My car accident back in January makes it difficult to use exercise as a crutch, and my girlfriend and I no longer spend much time together. As all of my anxiety outlets dry up, I am finding the lifelong depression and anxiety issues I have been dealing with rising to the front.

    Interestingly I did not realize I was using my girlfriend as a release outlet until today when I was wondering why I am so despondent.

    I have been trying to work on this masters thesis for years, my imposed deadline is July 1st when I get kicked out and will need go get a full time job. Paper writing gives me tremendous anxiety, to the point where I used to do some self-mutilation as a teen and young adult and have panic attacks.

    That is also why my post count is up, I tend to flick through the forums between paragraphs. Helps me cool down a bit.

    Currently I'm finding myself drifting towards ye olde running away or jumping off a bridge fantasies. One more month and then I am done either way though, going to be fun.
    A thought I have for you and your girlfriend, if timing/balancing obligations is an issue: letter writing.

    To me, the advantage of sitting down and writing a letter is that it is a physical representation of committing your time to the letter recipient. At least for me, it works on a much better level than IM or email, which are quick communication styles that do not carry the same weight. You could write a letter as a break from your thesis to try and resolve these stresses in your life.

    It may not work for the two of you, but I know that it helped me to write and receive letters, especially in my downward spiral these past few months.

    Good Luck!

    -Mith

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    A bit of career advice please.

    My work is mostly repairing plumbing fixtures at two city buildings, that have cops, courts, DA's, and a jail on the 7th floor of one building (there used to also be the morgue, but they moved across town and now I only go there about twice a year).

    Lately I just haven't gotten many service orders about stuff to fix that isn't in the jail, and after seven years of working in it I'm finding it psychologically harder to will myself up there with the screaming, the insults, the look of the place, and just waiting for the gates to open.

    When there's lots of work 'downstairs' this isn't as much of problem, but now that the percentage of my work that is for the jail is much higher getting the willpower to go up there is increasingly difficult for me.

    Any motivational tips (other than the obvious "do the job or get fired")?
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    Quote Originally Posted by 2D8HP View Post
    A bit of career advice please.

    My work is mostly repairing plumbing fixtures at two city buildings, that have cops, courts, DA's, and a jail on the 7th floor of one building (there used to also be the morgue, but they moved across town and now I only go there about twice a year).

    Lately I just haven't gotten many service orders about stuff to fix that isn't in the jail, and after seven years of working in it I'm finding it psychologically harder to will myself up there with the screaming, the insults, the look of the place, and just waiting for the gates to open.

    When there's lots of work 'downstairs' this isn't as much of problem, but now that the percentage of my work that is for the jail is much higher getting the willpower to go up there is increasingly difficult for me.

    Any motivational tips (other than the obvious "do the job or get fired")?
    What is the size of your department? Could you talk with your foreman about rearranging service orders so that you do more work outside the jail?

    This doesn't really help if your management is one of those helpful "just do the job" people, or if the issue is that jail-work is just that much of the current service order volume.

    And if you are unionised, seniority may or may not have your back here (I don't know your seniority or workplace culture).

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by Mith View Post
    What is the size of your department?

    There's two plumbers: one for the "civIC center campus", and one (me) for the "public*safety campus".

    Could you talk with your foreman about rearranging service orders so that you do more work outside the jail?

    Not really, what's officially reported broken is what needs fixing.

    This doesn't really help if your management is one of those helpful "just do the job" people, or if the issue is that jail-work is just that much of the current service order volume.

    The jail is 9/10th of the Service Orders.

    And if you are unionised, seniority may or may not have your back here (I don't know your seniority or workplace culture).

    I'm senior enough with the City that I could transfer to another department; but then I'd be on probation again for a year, which makes my getting fired of layer off easier.

    My big advantage where I'm at is no one with the City knows how best to repsir the jail plumbing fixtures here as well as I do, as often shown by my substitutes (before a decade ago city plumbers were rotated more so more plumbers had more time to have some base of experience, but a division of departments ended that), so I'm perceived as more needed here making my job more secure than elsewhere, plus my skills in doing plumbing work anywhere else have atrophied, which combined with my age makes getting up to speed and staying employed likely harder.

    This morning I did get a Service Order to do a repair downstairs from the jail, which I was glad for, but I received a lesson to be careful for what I wish for as squeezing myself into where I needed to be to do the repair was painful (ironically I usually work in less confined spaces inside the jail), and I've been sore most of the day.

    Anyway, thanks @Mith for your kind questions.
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  23. - Top - End - #53
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Some of you might recall my rants about prior psychologist that was absolutely an abusive jerk while calling it treatment. But this'll make sense even if you don't.

    People have asked, why did he decide to just target me? And I was thinking, and realized - he didn't target just me.

    Every student I knew who had interacted with him hated him, and I know of multiple cases not involving me at all involving blatantly unprofessional and frankly bigoted behavior. I also know that other students specifically said I should be quiet about sexual assault because of him, and said it in a way that such was expected behavior for him.

    This wasn't a one-off where an otherwise decent mental health professional got it totally wrong. This was a case of entrenched mistreatment of students with various disabilities or mental health issues. Likely with the goal of preventing liability to the school. There was a definite sense that he was being gracious to even allow us to attend college with "normal" students, and it was absolutely unconscionable that said normal students might see something they would find upsetting or disturbing. (This did not just include mental health - it came up in reference to a friend with a seizure disorder, and his complaint that she wasn't considering how upsetting that was to other students to witness.)

    There was never any consequences to him. There was never even any record. Anyone complaining was dismissed because they were just crazy kids and therefore unreliable, and he was the professional. He must have done the right thing.

    Like I said, this wasn't a one-off. This was a system set up to allow an abuser free rein and protect him from consequences.
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  24. - Top - End - #54
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by WarKitty View Post
    Some of you might recall my rants about prior psychologist that was absolutely an abusive jerk while calling it treatment. But this'll make sense even if you don't.

    People have asked, why did he decide to just target me? And I was thinking, and realized - he didn't target just me.

    Every student I knew who had interacted with him hated him, and I know of multiple cases not involving me at all involving blatantly unprofessional and frankly bigoted behavior. I also know that other students specifically said I should be quiet about sexual assault because of him, and said it in a way that such was expected behavior for him.

    This wasn't a one-off where an otherwise decent mental health professional got it totally wrong. This was a case of entrenched mistreatment of students with various disabilities or mental health issues. Likely with the goal of preventing liability to the school. There was a definite sense that he was being gracious to even allow us to attend college with "normal" students, and it was absolutely unconscionable that said normal students might see something they would find upsetting or disturbing. (This did not just include mental health - it came up in reference to a friend with a seizure disorder, and his complaint that she wasn't considering how upsetting that was to other students to witness.)

    There was never any consequences to him. There was never even any record. Anyone complaining was dismissed because they were just crazy kids and therefore unreliable, and he was the professional. He must have done the right thing.

    Like I said, this wasn't a one-off. This was a system set up to allow an abuser free rein and protect him from consequences.
    Psychologist are arrogant jerks. I have one for a short time and he didn't seem to care.

  25. - Top - End - #55
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    DwarfFighterGuy

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by Bartmanhomer View Post
    Psychologist are arrogant jerks. I have one for a short time and he didn't seem to care.
    I mean, not explicitly more than anyone else is an arrogant jerk. But those that are definitely are in the position to empower their arrogant jerk-ness.

    Quote Originally Posted by WarKitty View Post
    Some of you might recall my rants about prior psychologist that was absolutely an abusive jerk while calling it treatment. But this'll make sense even if you don't.

    People have asked, why did he decide to just target me? And I was thinking, and realized - he didn't target just me.

    Every student I knew who had interacted with him hated him, and I know of multiple cases not involving me at all involving blatantly unprofessional and frankly bigoted behavior. I also know that other students specifically said I should be quiet about sexual assault because of him, and said it in a way that such was expected behavior for him.

    This wasn't a one-off where an otherwise decent mental health professional got it totally wrong. This was a case of entrenched mistreatment of students with various disabilities or mental health issues. Likely with the goal of preventing liability to the school. There was a definite sense that he was being gracious to even allow us to attend college with "normal" students, and it was absolutely unconscionable that said normal students might see something they would find upsetting or disturbing. (This did not just include mental health - it came up in reference to a friend with a seizure disorder, and his complaint that she wasn't considering how upsetting that was to other students to witness.)

    There was never any consequences to him. There was never even any record. Anyone complaining was dismissed because they were just crazy kids and therefore unreliable, and he was the professional. He must have done the right thing.

    Like I said, this wasn't a one-off. This was a system set up to allow an abuser free rein and protect him from consequences.
    Damn, that's awful! But also lends some additional context to what you experienced, so it makes a lot of sense. The guy was simply an outright jerk!

    I'm sure I've said it before, but I'm so sorry you had to go through that with someone who clearly didn't care. Obviously there are practitioners out there who do care and are good at what they do, but they take effort to find and an experience like this can understandably sour you on the process.

    All the best in any further steps you take! And props for what you've been able to achieve thus far!

  26. - Top - End - #56
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by ve4grm View Post
    I mean, not explicitly more than anyone else is an arrogant jerk. But those that are definitely are in the position to empower their arrogant jerk-ness.



    Damn, that's awful! But also lends some additional context to what you experienced, so it makes a lot of sense. The guy was simply an outright jerk!

    I'm sure I've said it before, but I'm so sorry you had to go through that with someone who clearly didn't care. Obviously, there are practitioners out there who do care and are good at what they do, but they take effort to find and an experience like this can understandably sour you on the process.

    All the best in any further steps you take! And props for what you've been able to achieve thus far!
    Some psychologist are jerks. I didn't mean that as a whole.
    Last edited by Bartmanhomer; 2019-06-12 at 09:16 PM.

  27. - Top - End - #57
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    I feel really lonely. I don't know what else to put-I know it sounds kinda stupid, given what 2d8 and Warkitty are dealing with (which, by the way, you have my sympathy for), but I just feel like crap because I'm lonely.
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  28. - Top - End - #58
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by ve4grm View Post
    I mean, not explicitly more than anyone else is an arrogant jerk. But those that are definitely are in the position to empower their arrogant jerk-ness.



    Damn, that's awful! But also lends some additional context to what you experienced, so it makes a lot of sense. The guy was simply an outright jerk!

    I'm sure I've said it before, but I'm so sorry you had to go through that with someone who clearly didn't care. Obviously there are practitioners out there who do care and are good at what they do, but they take effort to find and an experience like this can understandably sour you on the process.

    All the best in any further steps you take! And props for what you've been able to achieve thus far!
    I definitely think part of what made it so bad is that - not just that he was an outright jerk, but that because of his credentials he was able to position things so that he was supported in it. Basically making it out so anyone who complained about his behavior just was too sick to recognize what they needed. So he could continue to be a jerk in a system that would quite literally feed him victims and praise him for hurting them.

    This is a true, genuine traumatic memory. I mean that in the quite technical sense, regarding mental health. Some of my problem is I have found many practitioners either are skeptical when someone accuses another professional, or want to downplay it or brush it off as someone I didn't get along with.

    A lot of the problem though has to do with how traumatic memories work. Basically your brain sort of shuts down when the memory is triggered (there's a lot more to it than that, but it'll do). The normal procedure in therapy is to get someone to a point where they feel safe in therapy, then approach the memory slowly and in measured doses. That procedure does not work when the therapeutic environment is inherently and unavoidably triggering. Which means I'm essentially getting into a situation where the treatments that are supposed to be used don't work, and no one really has another idea.

    From my perspective it's often come across as "you need therapy in order to be able to benefit from therapy." I find that I'm often being told I'm being difficult or not trying or am not ready to get better. Or that I'm "not ready for therapy." My impression has been that there's very little understanding and acceptance within the mental health community of the idea that someone might be genuinely traumatized by the behavior of a treating practitioner. So reactions that in another situation might be recognized as a fairly standard trauma reaction get labelled as resistance. Not even necessarily because the person I'm seeing doesn't believe it, but because it changes how things go in ways that don't fit with the models recommended.
    Last edited by WarKitty; 2019-06-12 at 10:06 PM.
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  29. - Top - End - #59
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    I have very slow processing speed and it causes me major problems in every aspect of my life.

    Quote Originally Posted by zlefin View Post
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    are you able to handle milder exercise like walking/biking, or do those also aggravate the shin splints?
    If nothing else you could probably use a small hand weight while watching tv.
    Walking isnít nearly as bad as running, but it still hurts my joints a little. I donít have a bike.
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  30. - Top - End - #60
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by JNAProductions View Post
    I feel really lonely. I don't know what else to put-I know it sounds kinda stupid, given what 2d8 and Warkitty are dealing with (which, by the way, you have my sympathy for), but I just feel like crap because I'm lonely.
    Hey dude, your problems are valid! And I know the others would agree, even if they're going through worse things. If we always judge how we should be feeling based on who has it worse, nobody would ever be allowed to be unhappy.

    So yeah, it may not be a major problem in the grand scheme of things, but loneliness that makes you feel like crap is still a valid difficulty. If you want to elaborate, please feel free. Otherwise, just know that some of us have been there too, and it can get better.

    Quote Originally Posted by WarKitty View Post
    I definitely think part of what made it so bad is that - not just that he was an outright jerk, but that because of his credentials he was able to position things so that he was supported in it. Basically making it out so anyone who complained about his behavior just was too sick to recognize what they needed. So he could continue to be a jerk in a system that would quite literally feed him victims and praise him for hurting them.

    This is a true, genuine traumatic memory. I mean that in the quite technical sense, regarding mental health. Some of my problem is I have found many practitioners either are skeptical when someone accuses another professional, or want to downplay it or brush it off as someone I didn't get along with.

    A lot of the problem though has to do with how traumatic memories work. Basically your brain sort of shuts down when the memory is triggered (there's a lot more to it than that, but it'll do). The normal procedure in therapy is to get someone to a point where they feel safe in therapy, then approach the memory slowly and in measured doses. That procedure does not work when the therapeutic environment is inherently and unavoidably triggering. Which means I'm essentially getting into a situation where the treatments that are supposed to be used don't work, and no one really has another idea.

    From my perspective it's often come across as "you need therapy in order to be able to benefit from therapy." I find that I'm often being told I'm being difficult or not trying or am not ready to get better. Or that I'm "not ready for therapy." My impression has been that there's very little understanding and acceptance within the mental health community of the idea that someone might be genuinely traumatized by the behavior of a treating practitioner. So reactions that in another situation might be recognized as a fairly standard trauma reaction get labelled as resistance. Not even necessarily because the person I'm seeing doesn't believe it, but because it changes how things go in ways that don't fit with the models recommended.
    Yeah, trauma sucks, and can be hard to get past. I do hope that you're able to find ways (whether it's here, or with others) to address and hopefully move past this trauma, whether or not you ever attend another therapy session.

    I'm actually curious if a different sort of therapy setting could be more helpful with this? For example, if what you did was one-on-one, maybe trying a group session? No idea if it would work, and no pressure to try it of course.

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