The Order of the Stick: Utterly Dwarfed
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  1. - Top - End - #301
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    WolfInSheepsClothing

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    They are flying in trainers ~800-miles from home office today. They are not insurance agent trainers, but are customer service trainers. I wanted to show my new managers the manual that they made for us last year, but EVERYONE threw it away.

    We will likely spend half the day role-playing (not the good kind) on how to talk to people over the phone . . . what we do every day.

    We will likely ask a bunch of insurance agent questions that they will not know the answers to. They will take the questions down, and tell us that they will get back to us, and then never do. About 20% of the time they will bring an insurance agent manager who knows stuff.

    They will likely hand out charts full of copious mistakes. Other than the wrong information here or there, they will often forget titles and years. The year for a chart is crazy important, as things change from year-to-year (printed on stacks of vinyl). 2019 prices, and 2020 prices could be wildly different. They will use different terms for the same thing, and not explain why (aside from being confusing to me, it is confusing to the customer even more). They will toss in *'s and not explain what they mean.

    It drives my OCD nuts.
    Last edited by darkrose50; 2019-09-18 at 09:46 AM.

  2. - Top - End - #302
    Colossus in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Id be better off dead.
    Quote Originally Posted by Deme View Post
    One day, we must all have our characters butchered by romhacks face our ends.
    Avatar by Honest Tiefling

    Won as Good Mayans on a science victory GMR 4. Won as Sweden on a science victory GMR 7. Won as Desert England on a concession victory GMR 8 Lost as Poland in GMR 3. Lost as Japan in GMR 5, Surrendered as Korea in GMR 10. Surrendered as Bad Maya in GMR 11, Lost as Shoshone in GMR 13.

  3. - Top - End - #303
    Titan in the Playground
     
    HalfTangible's Avatar

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by Illven View Post
    Id be better off dead.
    That isn't true.
    Quote Originally Posted by Keld Denar View Post
    +3 Girlfriend is totally unoptimized. You are better off with a +1 Keen Witty girlfriend and then appling Greater Magic Make-up to increase her enhancement bonus.
    Everything is going according to plan. And by that I mean the plan has changed like 3 times in the last year but now I have it written down and the new plan is going well!.

    Primal ego vos, estis ex nihilo

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  4. - Top - End - #304
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    The Fury's Avatar

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by Illven View Post
    Id be better off dead.
    Why do you say that? Don't get me wrong, I've felt that way too. Even if it feels true, it isn't.
    Iop brain.

  5. - Top - End - #305
    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by Illven View Post
    Id be better off dead.
    I've been there. It will pass.

    I hope I'm not being nosy but I looked at your post history. You mentioned the anniversary of your mom's death. That sounds like a pretty hard time - I don't know how long it's been or how close you were or anything, of course. But I know that's a pretty emotional time for a lot of people.

    You don't need to worry about the future right now. Just take it one day at a time and make sure you get enough good food and some sleep as best you can.
    Hail to the Lord of Death and Destruction!
    CATNIP FOR THE CAT GOD! YARN FOR THE YARN THRONE! MILK FOR THE MILK BOWL!

  6. - Top - End - #306
    Troll in the Playground
     
    FinnLassie's Avatar

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Grandpa's memory has plummeted. He now is off to take care of our foals and horses as he visits the farm.

    The last horses were put down in 2014.
    Quote Originally Posted by LaZodiac
    aah yes, alligators
    the most anime of creatures
    ~Extended Signature~

  7. - Top - End - #307
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Flumph

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    That kind of deterioration is...hard...and can be emotionally devastating for the people close to the person.

    I hope you have people close to you that can support you through this.
    And don't be afraid to talk about some of the big questions of what-is-self, the emotion that i can only call anticipatory-grief, etc even if those topics don't seem totally relevant. They are. Those kinds of thoughts and having to psychologically deal with them are important. Just as much as him being frustrating or the like.

    And also hope that you still have some time when he is aware and lucid...treasure it, drink every moment while you can. As hard as it can be to watch, regretting avoiding it is likely to be worse in the future.


    If you have not dealt with it before...very much pick your battles...unless it is going to be an active problem (like unsafe driving for example) don't be pushy about having to correct everything, its not worth it.

    Sadly there is often not as much classical social support for this kind of deterioration and loss as there is for say, a sudden death in the family etc. So things can get weird.
    Last edited by sktarq; 2019-09-21 at 01:31 PM.

  8. - Top - End - #308
    Troll in the Playground
     
    FinnLassie's Avatar

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Thanks. I've been expecting this, but it still hurts. I've not been able to visit my grandparents since, oh hell, May or June? And now this summer things have taken a turn, and clearly September hasn't served him any better.

    His memory has been finicky for a couple of years now. I've been the person reporting my family about the changes - up until this summer, I made sure to visit them every 2-3 months. But after last christmas, when gramps had a... sort of a seizure due to his specific form of arthritis, I've just not recovered from it. It's still super painful. It feels awful.
    Last edited by FinnLassie; 2019-09-21 at 01:31 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by LaZodiac
    aah yes, alligators
    the most anime of creatures
    ~Extended Signature~

  9. - Top - End - #309
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Flumph

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Yeah...it will feel awful.

    Not much youcan directly do.
    Depending on how aware he is of the problem and what the nature of it is, keeping mentally active with things like puzzles etc may slow it down, but its kinda late to make such changes but may be worth seeing a doctor about.

    Be strong,
    Don't be all stereotypical silent suffering Scandinavian - talk to people (friends, hopefully councilors at uni, a priest if that's your deal)

    i wish you all the best, PM if you need,
    And you have my sympathies

  10. - Top - End - #310
    Troll in the Playground
     
    FinnLassie's Avatar

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    It's kinda hard to be like those pesky Scandinavians, when I'm not one. Finland's not a part of Scandinavia, but the Nordic countries.
    Quote Originally Posted by LaZodiac
    aah yes, alligators
    the most anime of creatures
    ~Extended Signature~

  11. - Top - End - #311
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Flumph

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by FinnLassie View Post
    It's kinda hard to be like those pesky Scandinavians, when I'm not one. Finland's not a part of Scandinavia, but the Nordic countries.
    Yeah....but I thought you were from Bergen

  12. - Top - End - #312
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    HalfTangible's Avatar

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Had a bit of an episode last night. I curled up into myself in my hotel room (I was at a convention) and started saying "I don't deserve to live" over and over and couldn't stop for a few minutes. I sobbed into my pillows for a while, felt worthless and alone. 2 hours before that I'd been happy and skipping around Delta H Con, enjoying myself. It wasn't set off by anything in particular as far as I can tell, it just kinda happened.

    I'm feeling better now. Talked with some friends about it. One of them pointed out to me that my mood has been on a downward trend for months, and I've talking every morning about things I don't wanna bring up here. It didn't feel like a big deal in isolation, just something I had to deal with when I woke up in the morning, but the fact that it kept happening often enough that she'd noticed it as a trend was... a bit of an eye opener.

    I thought I'd been doing better, and in some ways I have. But others... not so much.
    Quote Originally Posted by Keld Denar View Post
    +3 Girlfriend is totally unoptimized. You are better off with a +1 Keen Witty girlfriend and then appling Greater Magic Make-up to increase her enhancement bonus.
    Everything is going according to plan. And by that I mean the plan has changed like 3 times in the last year but now I have it written down and the new plan is going well!.

    Primal ego vos, estis ex nihilo

    Extended Sig

    Brother of Battle by Emperor Ing

  13. - Top - End - #313
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Flumph

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    What is it about me when I'm barely barely holding it together, want to scream in grief from a death in family, that suddenly makes me far more approachable for small talk by total strangers?
    Normally I wouldn't mind.
    But now?

  14. - Top - End - #314
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Recherché's Avatar

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    My father died less than a month ago and people I barely know keep trying to be buddies with me and asking me to talk about it. I think they mean well but its still more emotionally distressing than helpful. I have my people that I'm close to. They're the people I'm crying with. They're the ones who know that I can't sleep because I keep having nightmares about his body. The acquaintances who keep trying to be helpful are not them and it brings up the pain more than it helps.

  15. - Top - End - #315
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Flumph

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Weirdly that sounds like a time when social rituals could be helpful....and I'm sorry for your loss...that sounds like it hurts.

  16. - Top - End - #316
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    HalflingPirate

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Revisiting some of my old internet hangouts.

    Time sure flies. Graduated, got a job, got married, got divorced, got depressed, got better. Life has its ups and downs, but I reckon if we never give up and keep trying, everything's gonna be alright.

    Stay gold everyone.
    Last edited by toysailor; 2019-09-28 at 07:13 PM. Reason: Grammar

  17. - Top - End - #317
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    Grytorm's Avatar

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    I feel like going on about something, but I don't have anything in particular to talk about. I could berate myself and how I am not getting much done but that hasn't felt overwhelming as of late. I could talk about ongoing loneliness of course and how I sort of have a crush on a woman who works at the cattery I volunteer at. But at the same time I kind of recognize more a desire for intimacy that tends to latch onto women near my age out of desperation and general ineptitude. She is friendly and involved in RPG stuff and a LARP, so I do want to be friends with her as well. Typing further stuff from here seems difficult because I cannot decide between asking for advice on how to not make a fool of myself and going on a relatively short extended pity party where I call myself a fool for having hope and expressing self loathing for my difficulty maintaining functional friendships and with women I have pined over. It would probably be easier if I was any good at maintaining functional relationships with anyone. Also if I had a better understanding of how to talk to people and what I want out of those who might be friends and acquaintances.

    Edit: Hiding out of sight behind a fence is so much easier.

    Also, sorry if this was incomprehensible gibberish. I am at times bad at communicating.
    Last edited by Grytorm; 2019-11-07 at 01:22 AM.
    DEGENERATION 86: Copy this into your sig and subtract 1 from the degeneration when you first see it. This is an antisocial experiment.

  18. - Top - End - #318
    Nerdomancer in the Playground Moderator
     
    DruidGuy

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by Grytorm View Post
    I feel like going on about something, but I don't have anything in particular to talk about. I could berate myself and how I am not getting much done but that hasn't felt overwhelming as of late. I could talk about ongoing loneliness of course and how I sort of have a crush on a woman who works at the cattery I volunteer at. But at the same time I kind of recognize more a desire for intimacy that tends to latch onto women near my age out of desperation and general ineptitude. She is friendly and involved in RPG stuff and a LARP, so I do want to be friends with her as well. Typing further stuff from here seems difficult because I cannot decide between asking for advice on how to not make a fool of myself and going on a relatively short extended pity party where I call myself a fool for having hope and expressing self loathing for my difficulty maintaining functional friendships and with women I have pined over. It would probably be easier if I was any good at maintaining functional relationships with anyone. Also if I had a better understanding of how to talk to people and what I want out of those who might be friends and acquaintances.

    Edit: Hiding out of sight behind a fence is so much easier.

    Also, sorry if this was incomprehensible gibberish. I am at times bad at communicating.
    it doesn't have to start out romantic, she likes rpg/larp, and you do to apparently, start there. be friends first, then see if there's more. putting all the pressure on yourself to be something in the beginning just makes it harder. small steps forward.
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  19. - Top - End - #319
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    Kobold

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by jdizzlean View Post
    it doesn't have to start out romantic, she likes rpg/larp, and you do to apparently, start there. be friends first, then see if there's more. putting all the pressure on yourself to be something in the beginning just makes it harder. small steps forward.
    On the other hand, thats not a good move towards a romantic relationship. Basically you are friendzoning yourself.
    I agree that friendship is probably the best thing to aim for atm. But be honest with yourself. If you find out you definately want more at some point, be honest and tell her.

  20. - Top - End - #320
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    FinnLassie's Avatar

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by Rydiro View Post
    On the other hand, thats not a good move towards a romantic relationship. Basically you are friendzoning yourself.
    I agree that friendship is probably the best thing to aim for atm. But be honest with yourself. If you find out you definately want more at some point, be honest and tell her.
    I don't understand how that's friendzoning himself? I've noticed that relationships have been much better when you've built a friendship before a romantic relationship.

    Like, forming a platonic relationship with a person doesn't harm anyone, as long as you as a person decide that ok, this is the goal. The important thing is to not expect things to go to the romantic territory as you enter the relationship, the job is to get to know to people. I know some guys think I've friendzoned them, but in reality they tried to become friends with me just to make me like them and become a couple.

    Of course it's easier said than done, first becoming friends someone that you think you might like. Grytorm, as you said yourself, you're not sure where the possible crush stems from - is it out of the feeling of need, or pure interest? I've been there, and it can feel like hell. And in my case, I've hurt myself and others when I've entered a relationship and then realised it was just because I thought I liked someone, when in reality I had a couple of issues to deal with. So, now, it's best to tread with care, and be kind to yourself. Get to know this person. And at the same time, get to know yourself. If you feel uncertainty or need help, then you're always welcome here to ask for advice... just as you did now.
    Quote Originally Posted by LaZodiac
    aah yes, alligators
    the most anime of creatures
    ~Extended Signature~

  21. - Top - End - #321
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    Kobold

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by FinnLassie View Post
    Like, forming a platonic relationship with a person doesn't harm anyone, as long as you as a person decide that ok, this is the goal. The important thing is to not expect things to go to the romantic territory as you enter the relationship, the job is to get to know to people. I know some guys think I've friendzoned them, but in reality they tried to become friends with me just to make me like them and become a couple.
    Yes I meant that last thing. Its a bad idea to use friendship as a vehicle to get into a relationship. Thats when a friendship really does hurt at least one side.

    So friendships are a bad way to 'get' romantic partners.

  22. - Top - End - #322
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Grytorm's Avatar

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Nods. I'm just really bad at friendship stuff at least, I think I am. I guess in a way I don't know what I want out of friendships and that makes me attempts at navigating interpersonal relationships more difficult. I think I probably would end up a jerk if I didn't react to mild social censure with massive feelings of guilt and a strong desire to isolate myself. Like the time I spent a week during a study abroad trying to not look directly at any of my classmates after a series of really stupid text messages. Thinking about it still makes me feel like an awful person which I probably deserve.

    Part of the problem is that I am not very good at reaching out socially. I had about one friend in high school and pretty much very rarely spent time with anyone outside of class. In my one year living in a college dormitory I only spent time with others in the dorm outside of stuff organized by the RA a handful of times. That time, that time, that time, that time, that time, and that time. Six times. And twice at a game store.

    Was tpying more but my time at community college was the happiest I had been since high school and I had friends on the bus which I took to get into the small city from where I lived with my parents in the country. Played some Magic the Gathering. Stuff. Posted here several times about loneliness and hopeless crushes. Then that came to an end.

    Back to the university, a closer one so I could still live with my parents. I gradually became more isolated. Normal stuff for me. No connections with my classmates outside of class. Bungled attempt at getting a date ended up with one of the few friends who consistently talks to me. Went to Mexico. Sent stupid texts. Felt very ashamed. Did social things with the group maybe three times (outside of program stuff). Came back. Continued to live in isolation with the bonus that thanks to the text messages and further idiocy I ended up strongly averse to everyone who I could have been friends with from the program and would freak out and take evasive maneuvers at the sight of them. Also was in a social connectedness group for a while but lost contact due to changes in schedule.

    Other things happen as they do. Joined a gaming group thing which is kind of open to people just showing up. Do volunteer work cleaning up after numerous cats.

    That reminds me of the another thing where I dropped almost all involvement with a local library because of a bad experience with a staff member there I had thought of as a friend. Doesn't really matter.

    Remembering and typing all this. Emotionally it has had little effect on my mood. In general I have been more depressed since the last post but typing this doesn't seem to have mattered much. While typing the process of remembering wasn't particularly emotional. But now as I wrap up my mind is drifting a little towards hopelessness and the prospects of inescapable isolation. And to a lesser extent my feelings that at twenty five I have wasted my youth and potential and that everything going forward will be ash compared to what could have been.
    DEGENERATION 86: Copy this into your sig and subtract 1 from the degeneration when you first see it. This is an antisocial experiment.

  23. - Top - End - #323
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Griffon

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by Grytorm View Post
    to a lesser extent my feelings that at twenty five I have wasted my youth and potential and that everything going forward will be ash compared to what could have been.
    Albert Einstein didn't have any chance of being Neil Armstrong, and Neil Armstrong couldn't have been Albert Einstein.
    The end of what Son? The story? There is no end. There's just the point where the storytellers stop talking.

  24. - Top - End - #324
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    DrowGuy

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Hey everybody. I feel very lonely. A good friend of mine that I know from another forum left a few weeks due to some issues with another member of that forum. She always critiques my Pathfinder Fan-fiction stories and we write letters together. Now I feel very lonely without her and I've no one to talk to. I feel very sad.

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