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  1. - Top - End - #121
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    WarKitty, that's understandable. Therapy hasn't really helped you before, it's even made some things worse it seems. Unless you find someone new who is understanding of what you've been through, it will be hard to trust that therapy will do anything for you.

    What do you currently do to help with stress? Diet/meditation/exercise? Animal companions? I don't know what works for you, but if your stress is bad enough that you're developing new physical conditions (and TMJ really sucks, too), hopefully you can find ways to reduce stress somehow.

    I don't know how to help, but I hope talking here helps a bit at least. I know it helps me :)
    Hugs, if you want them.


    As for my own issues, I picked up the medication for my cat. It's cheaper than the vet told me, it was $20 for a box of 100 pills, so $20 for 100 days, which is good. The vet clinic doesn't have their own payment plan, but they directed me to a website they work with that offers interest-free loans for up to a year for pet medical expenses, and I'll definitely look into that.
    We can't push Sissi's tests for too long, because if she does have kidney disease, the meds could make it worse as hyperthyroidism both masks but also improved kidney dysfunction. We don't want the meds to end up doing more harm than good. The vet as agreed to do the first test in three weeks, which will help without hurting Sissi's health.

    So while I'm still worried about her, the financial aspect if her treatment should be fine. If either of us finds a new source of income within a month, we should be fine for rent too.

    Thanks again everyone for the suggestions :)

  2. - Top - End - #122
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by Lissou View Post
    As for my own issues, I picked up the medication for my cat. It's cheaper than the vet told me, it was $20 for a box of 100 pills, so $20 for 100 days, which is good. The vet clinic doesn't have their own payment plan, but they directed me to a website they work with that offers interest-free loans for up to a year for pet medical expenses, and I'll definitely look into that.
    We can't push Sissi's tests for too long, because if she does have kidney disease, the meds could make it worse as hyperthyroidism both masks but also improved kidney dysfunction. We don't want the meds to end up doing more harm than good. The vet as agreed to do the first test in three weeks, which will help without hurting Sissi's health.

    So while I'm still worried about her, the financial aspect if her treatment should be fine. If either of us finds a new source of income within a month, we should be fine for rent too.

    Thanks again everyone for the suggestions :)
    A quick googling of "pet medical charities" brought up a few pages, with these two being among the ones linked and each linking to charities for pet owners who are having a hard time paying for care. Couldn't hurt to contact some. Also doesn't hurt to donate when you have some free money, so there's more available for other people who find that their pet's health puts them in a bind.

    Quote Originally Posted by WarKitty View Post
    And apparently I've stressed myself into TMJ issues.

    I really don't know what to do with this. I'm not inclined to go for "just try therapy again". I might be inclined if someone could give me a little more than that to go on. But I'm disinclined to go for basically trying the same thing again and hoping it manages to work differently this time.
    When I think "therapist", I think of someone who tries to help you break out of of unhealthy patterns of thought. From things you've said, it sounds like your problems are more about your situation than your outlook. Even if you found a good therapist, I don't know how much they'd be the right tool for the job.

    A psychiatrist might help by prescribing meds. But even if professional advice weren't against the forum rules, I have neither the training nor the understanding of how your mind works to say what might work. And psychiatrists, by dint of having been trained the way they are, can also fall into the trap of thinking that their first impression is obviously and unimpeachably Right. One might help if you can think of mood issues that you can't seem to shake and that are not just normal extensions of complicated life stresses. This is less for you specifically, and more because someone else reading this might realize that medication is what they need more than blanket "therapy". There are anti-anxiety drugs that some people consider essential, but I don't want to recommend those without a lot more information.

    Just having someone to vent to and having ways to let off stress in general can often help, especially if you've spent so long walking on eggshells that you consider the high tension state to be a baseline. (Which I guess a good therapist could help you break out of, but the first thing they'd do would be to help you realize what not being perpetually on edge would feel like. You can do that without the stresses of putting yourself in a theraputic setting.) So the most important questions are, what can you do to help yourself destress, and how many people do you have who you can vent to so you don't feel like you have to carry it all on your own.

  3. - Top - End - #123
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by Anymage View Post
    A quick googling of "pet medical charities" brought up a few pages, with these two being among the ones linked and each linking to charities for pet owners who are having a hard time paying for care. Couldn't hurt to contact some. Also doesn't hurt to donate when you have some free money, so there's more available for other people who find that their pet's health puts them in a bind.
    Thanks. I've looked into a few pet charities but they all required proof of income and I'm not sure how we're supposed to prove that we won't have future income. They suggest stuff like tax returns and pay stubs, both of which would only show our previous income. I'm not sure they'd accept the text message telling my husband he's no longer working at his job as proof of income. But I can contact them and ask. If they require us to be registered for unemployment, that will take a few months (from past experience, my former roommate applied for unemployment a few years ago).

  4. - Top - End - #124
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    WolfInSheepsClothing

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by Chen View Post
    Get a real diagnosis. That will let you determine the exact course of action. Therapies, medication, counseling etc are available to help manage high functioning autism. IEPís exist for children who have special needs at school. Work with your school to get one of those started.
    She has an IEP, but not an autism diagnosis. She scored an 8 on a evaluation at school where 7 or lower is autism, and 9 and higher is not. In America they did away with Asperger's Syndrome as a diagnosis. I fear that it is now harder to obtain a diagnosis for many people like me.

    We brought her to one psychiatrist and he was clueless at what more he could do that the school did not already do. I think that he was new, and the guidelines are also sort-of new. I suppose I need to try again.

    Overall I think that it runs in the family and those who have had it have done fine with employment. I suppose I should not worry too much, but still I would like to address the concern. My families version must have a higher likelihood of employment.

    One or two (I have four) of my nephews likely have it (so 2/6 or 3/6 of the generation including my youngest).

    One nephew scored in the 99% with math, but somehow managed to pull in a C-average in high school. I am 100% certain that a diagnosis for this guy would be extremely useful to have at the moment. Now he is having trouble with a scholarship, and I am quite sure that a diagnosis would fix the issue. He will need an extreme level of support to make it in college. He could possibly be an actuary, or in finance, and would do quite well if we can get him there.

    Some people, like my sister (who also likely has it), think that ignoring the issue, and not addressing it would be good for the child. I have never met anyone with Asperger's Syndrome who said that they regretted knowing how and why their minds are different. It was cathartic for me.

    My other nephew (I am on the fence upon, but he has many of the traits) will likely not need anywhere near the same support level, he is quite organized, and focused. I think he will be extremely successful. He is smart, and he knows it. He is aggressive, assertive, and will likely do just fine.

    My grandfather needed someone to take him under his wing in order to succeed in carpentry. He would make extra money playing poker. I think that one of my uncles had it (he would make extra money selling coins). I think that at least one of my cousins had it (~2/13 for that generation).

    My cousin was the quarterback of his high school, and later was successful at carpentry. His high school girlfriend ended up being a special education teacher, later his wife, and likely greatly helped him navigate social situations. My high school girlfriend also became a special education teacher, and my wife. This is not a unique pattern. The doctor who diagnosed me smiled widely when he heard this . . . it is stereotypical.

    It is difficult to diagnose in girls. In boys it is quite easy to detect (in comparison). I may have girl cousins with it that I do not know about.
    Last edited by darkrose50; 2019-06-25 at 07:51 AM.

  5. - Top - End - #125
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Unfortunately, I think I'm at the point where I've gotten basically everything I can from just venting. What I need is some way to actually feel safe and help actually getting through traumatic memories. Venting, by itself, often ends up just retriggering them with no real improvement.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lissou View Post
    Thanks. I've looked into a few pet charities but they all required proof of income and I'm not sure how we're supposed to prove that we won't have future income. They suggest stuff like tax returns and pay stubs, both of which would only show our previous income. I'm not sure they'd accept the text message telling my husband he's no longer working at his job as proof of income. But I can contact them and ask. If they require us to be registered for unemployment, that will take a few months (from past experience, my former roommate applied for unemployment a few years ago).
    They probably would. I imagine that "I lost my job" is an incredibly common reason for people to need assistance. There's got to be some sort of setup for it.
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  6. - Top - End - #126
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Update on the whole 'trying therapy' business: I reached out to a place that provides counseling based on a sliding scale of income and predictably things immediately went off course. I left a voicemail with a good time and date for them to call back for intake, and they called back on a different day at a different time where I couldn't talk, so I had to ask them to call back. The second time, they got the day right, but called a couple hours later than I'd asked and I once again couldn't talk, so I had to ask them to call back again. Third time's the charm, we finally took care of the basic intake and such, and we settled on Wednesdays for appointments. Except, well, this part's on me, my dumb ass clean forgot to mention that I'd be going out of town on Wednesday the following week and wouldn't be able to start appointments until early July. When the counselor I'd been assigned got in touch with me via email to confirm the first appointment, I let them know that I'd be out of town for the next couple of weeks. They still haven't gotten back to me about rescheduling. For all I know they might not get back to me at all.

    None of this is disastrous or anything, but I can't help but be a little frustrated that I finally got off my butt to get some assistance only to run into all these little delays and miscommunications.
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  7. - Top - End - #127
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by darkrose50 View Post
    She has an IEP, but not an autism diagnosis. She scored an 8 on a evaluation at school where 7 or lower is autism, and 9 and higher is not. In America they did away with Asperger's Syndrome as a diagnosis. I fear that it is now harder to obtain a diagnosis for many people like me.

    We brought her to one psychiatrist and he was clueless at what more he could do that the school did not already do. I think that he was new, and the guidelines are also sort-of new. I suppose I need to try again.
    Personally, I'd check with an group for parents of child with whatever they are calling it these days. Chances are that they or an advocacy group will know of someone who could give an actual diagnosis. I wouldn't really trust a test from the school since they likely would have reasons to push children in either direction. They'd probably also have better advice for schooling than someone without children or Asperger's, really.

    As for that baby sitter, I strongly advise doing what you can to keep her, even if it's something like having Fridays or Saturdays off.

    If your child needs to take notes, maybe look into a laptop in a few years? Not sure if the school allows those or it'll help, but it can't hurt to look into them.
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  8. - Top - End - #128
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    WolfInSheepsClothing

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by Mith View Post
    Do you know how well your children get along with each other? I know I benefited with having an older brother who had a better idea of what issues at school would be and all that.
    They fight, but also get along. I think it is at the normal level. The older sister likely knows what to do, and I will make sure to reinforce this behavior.
    Last edited by darkrose50; 2019-06-26 at 07:49 AM.

  9. - Top - End - #129
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Just frustrated right now. I feel like I need someone who could actually give me neutral, unbiased information on my own experiences and how to keep myself safe. Which would have to be someone who is not involved in the mental health system in any way. I can't feel like I can trust anyone within it to actually be unbiased.

    I feel like I need to know how to protect myself from the people who are supposed to be there to help and protect me. Where do you even turn for that?
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  10. - Top - End - #130
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    DwarfFighterGuy

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by WarKitty View Post
    Just frustrated right now. I feel like I need someone who could actually give me neutral, unbiased information on my own experiences and how to keep myself safe. Which would have to be someone who is not involved in the mental health system in any way. I can't feel like I can trust anyone within it to actually be unbiased.

    I feel like I need to know how to protect myself from the people who are supposed to be there to help and protect me. Where do you even turn for that?
    I'd say try to get counselling separate from the therapy system, but with a quick google they're pretty interconnected. The Canadian association that governs them, for example, is the Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association. https://www.ccpa-accp.ca/profession/
    And even they say:
    It is not possible to make a generally accepted distinction between counselling and psychotherapy. There are well founded traditions which use the terms interchangeably and others which distinguish between them. If there are differences, then they relate more to the individual psychotherapistís or counsellorís training and interests and to the setting in which they work, rather than to any intrinsic difference in the two activities.
    That said, if you can find someone who bills themself as a Counsellor, rather than a Therapist, you may have better luck. They're likely trained similarly, but they handle things from different directions.

    Another thought, you may find such a person under Family Counsellors, or Relationship Counsellors. Since a decent amount of your problematic experiences seem to stem from family, I'm sure they'd be knowledgeable about them, and I know that some will take a single person when the others involved are not wanting to attend, or not desirable to have there.

  11. - Top - End - #131
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by ve4grm View Post
    Another thought, you may find such a person under Family Counsellors, or Relationship Counsellors. Since a decent amount of your problematic experiences seem to stem from family, I'm sure they'd be knowledgeable about them, and I know that some will take a single person when the others involved are not wanting to attend, or not desirable to have there.
    I do have to say - even within mental health, family and relationship therapy is considered bad when dealing with abuse. It's built to start from the paradigm of "what can you do to get along better with the other person." It's very, very common for relationship counselors to make things worse by encouraging the victim to take responsibility for their part in the relationship.

    Edit: around here, generally people who bill themselves as a counselor and not a therapist are those who are trained only in a religious or alternative medicine system.
    Last edited by WarKitty; 2019-06-26 at 10:02 AM.
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  12. - Top - End - #132
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by darkrose50 View Post
    One of my daughters, the younger one, likely inherited my high functioning autism (Aspburger's Syndrome) with a side-order of dyslexia (also from me).

    Don't know much about autism / Aspburger's, but I do have dyslexic kids. Highly recommend the Barton Reading and Spelling system. Basically breaks down the English language into a (very long, very complete) set of rules, and then practices, practices, practices those rules. In multiple formats (reading words made with letter tiles, spelling with letter tiles, reading words, writing words on paper, reading longer sentences, reading paragraphs).

    You can pretty much do the entire program at home -- assuming you are willing to spend 6-10 hours a week for 4 years. It's a lot, but honestly, it's necessary. And it works. it's probably the only reason my son can read and write and hold down a good job. So I recommend it whenever I hear about a person with dyslexic kids.

    Look into it.
    Last edited by Sermil; 2019-06-26 at 06:25 PM.

  13. - Top - End - #133
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    DrowGuy

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Well, I have Autism/ADHD and I know what it's like to have it.

  14. - Top - End - #134
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by WarKitty View Post
    Just frustrated right now. I feel like I need someone who could actually give me neutral, unbiased information on my own experiences and how to keep myself safe. Which would have to be someone who is not involved in the mental health system in any way. I can't feel like I can trust anyone within it to actually be unbiased.

    I feel like I need to know how to protect myself from the people who are supposed to be there to help and protect me. Where do you even turn for that?
    A religious figure is the only thing that comes to mind outside of standard therapists or councellors who are inevitably part of the mental health care system.

    Close friends or a teacher youíre close to perhaps but that would be more of a one of thing rather than something longer term Iíd think.

  15. - Top - End - #135
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Firstly, I would like to thank Comrade and Finn_Lassie. After reading your messages, I decided not to write anything to him. I would like to be constructive, as Finn_Lassie suggested, but he mistreated me so badly that I just can't say anything constructive to him. Maybe in another lifetime.

    Secondly, I'm sad today and I have a lump in my throat. It's about a friendship that wasn't even a friendship that ended today. When I did my teacher studies, I got acquainted with other teacher trainees. They were likeable people and I changed phone numbers with one of them for the purposes of WhatsApp communication. Over the past 20 months or so, we've been talking about writing our MA theses, our life, our families, finding a job etc. I was a bit disconcerted with the fact that she was actively cheating on her husband with two other guys and she showed me the men too. This coupled with the fact that she showed me her kids and her husband made me feel sorry for her husband, but otherwise I have an open mind for poly-amorous people. She wanted to have sex with one of the men soon after she had given birth, which was something that I found hard to understand, but whatever. She sent me sexy pictures in which she was wearing lingerie and making poses, but I didn't care that much. I said cool or something like that, but I didn't care. I didn't find her attractive, but I said something to be polite. We had some good moments together. This one time I wished her happy International Women's Day and she told me that I was the only man who remembered the day. I also supported her when she was diagnosed with MS.

    Lately my psychologist friend has been sending me interesting links about criminal behavior and sexuality and given me interesting view points on these matters. He works with people with severe mental illnesses. I have been sharing those links with my friends too. When I shared one of those links with my friend (mentioned in the second paragraph above), she complained that I seem to be overly fascinated with all kinds of weird stuff. I felt embarrassed, because I realized that maybe not everyone thought that these things were interesting. I explained this to her and I promised not to send any of that stuff anymore. I also told her that she shouldn't be so cynical and think that finding criminal behavior makes me some kind of a weirdo. I found it strange that she treated me like a total stranger out of the blue. First, she laughed and asked me that why do I keep sending her messages. I said that I like to keep in touch my friends. I was perplexed by her question, but I kept calm. Then she told me that we should focus on our own lives and not keep in touch. I said "fine" and deleted her number.

    I just don't get it.

    My friend, the psychologist, told me that she must've felt guilty for cheating on her husband and this reflected on me, since deleting me, a man who knew everything, was symbolic to the removal of her guilt.

  16. - Top - End - #136
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Woman is going against social conventions and cheating on her husband. You send her a link to an article about criminality and sexuality. Do you not think she may have inferred you were judging her based on that? Thats how I would read into it...

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by Chen View Post
    A religious figure is the only thing that comes to mind outside of standard therapists or councellors who are inevitably part of the mental health care system.

    Close friends or a teacher youíre close to perhaps but that would be more of a one of thing rather than something longer term Iíd think.
    Yeah, that's kind of what I'm hitting.

    It's bothering me what happened with that one guy so long ago. You have a case where there are very clearly multiple victims and a pattern of inappropriate behavior. Yet there are not just no consequences but no record even, and victims are dismissed as just being crazy. That does not fill me with confidence that the state of mental health right now is capable of policing itself or preventing people like that from preying on those in a vulnerable position.

    I think most practitioners mean well. But I also think the system is set up in a way that tends to protect those who don't. And that for me very much undermines my ability to feel safe working with someone.
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  18. - Top - End - #138
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by Chen View Post
    Woman is going against social conventions and cheating on her husband. You send her a link to an article about criminality and sexuality. Do you not think she may have inferred you were judging her based on that? Thats how I would read into it...
    That's a possibility. It would be very unfortunate if she thought like that.

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Come to think of it, I have never had another therapist who actually seemed to get the effect of dealing with that one guy. I've had some who acknowledged that it was bad, but even after they seemed confused why it would affect things in the future. It's always felt very much like professionals want to downplay it and treat it as though I just had someone I didn't click with.
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    This may sound weird, Warkitty, but...Is there anyone you'd trust to take with you to these sessions? Even if they don't contribute, they could just sit there and listen.

    And Jon_Dahl, I think Chen has a point. She was likely offended by the articles and I think most people would be. Especially since she seems to have some sort of cheating kink and seems to have wanted you to be a part of it in some fashion. So not only did you accidentally imply that her behavior was criminal, you did so after she seemed to try to approach you. So, double whammy.
    Last edited by Honest Tiefling; 2019-06-27 at 10:56 AM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jon_Dahl View Post
    I was a bit disconcerted with the fact that she was actively cheating on her husband with two other guys and she showed me the men too. This coupled with the fact that she showed me her kids and her husband made me feel sorry for her husband, but otherwise I have an open mind for poly-amorous people.
    Which is it, cheating or polyamorous? The big difference is that the latter happens with the full knowledge and blessing of one's partner(s), while the former doesn't.

    Although even if her husband did sign off on all this, being so forthright with the intimate details to outsiders sounds off in its own right.

    First, she laughed and asked me that why do I keep sending her messages. I said that I like to keep in touch my friends. I was perplexed by her question, but I kept calm. Then she told me that we should focus on our own lives and not keep in touch. I said "fine" and deleted her number.

    I just don't get it.
    How long had it been since your last interaction? If the program between the two of you had ended and it had been a while, she may have mentally roundfiled you as soon as you stopped being relevant. I've known a fair number of people who put others out of mind after a certain amount of time without contact.

    And it's strange that she considers such intimate details of her life to be hunky dory to share with casual friends but considers psych articles "weird", but lots of people have nonsensical boundaries and comfort zones.

    Quote Originally Posted by Honest Tiefling View Post
    This may sound weird, Warkitty, but...Is there anyone you'd trust to take with you to these sessions? Even if they don't contribute, they could just sit there and listen.
    Kitty isn't stupid. I have a feeling that if she had people she trusted enough for something like that, she'd be trying to work through her stresses with them. If anything, she seems to be caught in a catch-22; Having had her trust abused so thoroughly by people who should be trustworthy, it's hard to open up to people enough to properly process her issues. From the outside it's simple enough to see, but from the inside finding a spot to start unraveling the mess.

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    There are people I trust, but not in the range to help. Unfortunately trauma issues typically require more than simply talking things out, from what I've found. And that is the catch. I find too much difficulty in the therapeutic relationship to trust there, especially when you only see a person in one carefully scripted hour. But it's not the sort of thing that is generally relieved by talking to someone with no experience with trauma.
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by WarKitty View Post
    Come to think of it, I have never had another therapist who actually seemed to get the effect of dealing with that one guy. I've had some who acknowledged that it was bad, but even after they seemed confused why it would affect things in the future. It's always felt very much like professionals want to downplay it and treat it as though I just had someone I didn't click with.
    Makes perfect sense to me. Therapists generally go into the profession to help people, and studied alongside a lot of other people who did the same. From their point of view that person is an extreme outlier.

    The same is true of most professions; those in the profession know the majority of people are good and well intentioned, but a client has less exposure to the group as a whole so their bad experience(s) taint the whole group. A bad doctor, therapist, priest, teacher, etc.
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    Quote Originally Posted by WarKitty View Post
    There are people I trust, but not in the range to help.
    Uhh...Do you mean not in range physically, or that you don't want them there? Because if its the former, maybe consider having them on Facetime or Skype during the session?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Honest Tiefling View Post
    Uhh...Do you mean not in range physically, or that you don't want them there? Because if its the former, maybe consider having them on Facetime or Skype during the session?
    I did actually mean the first. Maybe worth considering? It's hard for me to manage because the first response most therapists have to me bringing up these things is to talk about managing paranoia. Which sets me off because that's what was used against me. Basically telling me the abuse I reported was just a symptom of me being paranoid. So I don't really feel safe discussing how unsafe I actually feel with someone I don't know very well. And I don't feel safe making requests that would reveal that I need extra support to feel safe.
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by Anymage View Post
    Which is it, cheating or polyamorous? The big difference is that the latter happens with the full knowledge and blessing of one's partner(s), while the former doesn't.

    Although even if her husband did sign off on all this, being so forthright with the intimate details to outsiders sounds off in its own right.



    How long had it been since your last interaction? If the program between the two of you had ended and it had been a while, she may have mentally roundfiled you as soon as you stopped being relevant. I've known a fair number of people who put others out of mind after a certain amount of time without contact.

    And it's strange that she considers such intimate details of her life to be hunky dory to share with casual friends but considers psych articles "weird", but lots of people have nonsensical boundaries and comfort zones.
    Last week.

    I would also like to note that I heard plenty of details about the men whom she slept with, including how their genitalia functioned. However, I wasn't allowed to show pictures of women. This one time, my Brazilian friend showed me a picture where she had the funniest fur bikini. I showed that picture, with my friend's approval, to the woman, and she said that it was just a trick to get her to show her body. It wasn't. I just liked the fur bikini. Quite impractical, I would say, but nice. I told this to my Brazilian friend, who was most likely expecting people to say nice things about her classy fur bikini, and she concluded that the woman was "nuts". After that, I guess our (i.e. my ex-friend and me) relationship was started to cool off.

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    Well, Jon_Dahl, you say the crazy woman got mad at you and the relationship cooled off after you showed her that you had access to other (presumably attractive) women in bikinis? Are you 100% sure this was her trying to reel you in for her weird fetish? That's how it sounds like to me. I think she got pissy you neither took the bait and were talking to other women. Even if the Brazilian friend didn't mean to send you the picture in a flirtatious way, I think Weird Friend took it that way.

    Your Brazilian friend was putting it mildly by calling her nuts.

    As for you, WarKitty, I think you are in a difficult position. I wish I had more advice, but I do not. But I do wish to say that I hope you find a way to get some help that works for you. If anything, try to frame having the person with you as that you feel like they have valuable input and might help you phrase things? You can reveal the truth later. I think a good one would understand.
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Honestly I even wish I could find information on trauma caused by treatment. You basically can't search for it because the results get flooded by stuff talking about trauma treatment in general.

    I'd feel a lot better if there weren't such stigma to not benefitting from therapy.
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    I do hope that i am not being to forward with replying to that, WarKitty. I just read the last messages and started to search, hoping to maybe find something. There was nothing on trauma caused by treatment so far, but maybe this will still help you?

    https://www.mind.org.uk/news-campaig...umatic-events/

    I do not know where you come from of course, but i do guess from the North American Continent. Therefore, any contact you could find from the above link would be far away, so hopefully non-threatening, and still be competent - and also, because of your distance to them, more likely to seriously look for examples from their experience for you.

    I wish you luck.
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 6

    Quote Originally Posted by WarKitty View Post
    Honestly I even wish I could find information on trauma caused by treatment. You basically can't search for it because the results get flooded by stuff talking about trauma treatment in general.

    I'd feel a lot better if there weren't such stigma to not benefitting from therapy.
    And when you think about it, that's bizarre. There are aspects of medicine that are much more concrete than human experiences that do not have "The One" treatment to fix things. And (in my estimation), it makes sense that it can arise, simply from the fact that repeated stress (intentional or not) makes things harder to pull things back together.

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