Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. VII: The Heart Beats On

[Palanan]

Oh yeah, this happened. I keep forgetting I actually watched this last Friday.

And it was, indeed, forgettable. Is there a record for the number of times the shark may be jumped in a single episode?

Spoiler: Fitz & Simmons

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They are now together (yay!) but imprisoned (boo!) and forced to work on an impossible Cosmic Science Project^TM by Implacable Alien Captors With No Emotions (boo, hiss!) while Enoch presumably excoriates himself for betraying his “best friend.”

So, overall, not much of an improvement. But this leads to the next point….

Spoiler: Chronicons, The Galaxy's Greatest Hypocrites

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After sending a hunter-killer team after Fitz for the awful crime of tampering with the universe via time travel, the Chronicons have now set Fitz & Simmons the task of…wait for it…tampering with the universe via time travel.

That by itself doesn’t bother me. When something pulverizes your homeworld, it tends to rearrange your priorities.

What bothers me is that no one has called them out for their stupid-obvious hypocrisy. In a show which has all but declared snark to be the fifth subatomic force, no one has snarked on this. I feel like Daisy, of all people, should have had some snark on this point. But no.

Spoiler: Who Says May Can't Win Fights?

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It took her a minute, but May did put down Mad Maxxson.

Also, I think Mad Maxxon figuring out that May loved Coulson actually demonstrates that in some strange transdimensional way, he’s Coulson where it counts. I’m already seeing a heroic self-sacrifice here, and May mourning Coulson all over again.

And really, that’s all I got. Even nutty Butterfly Girl wasn’t that entertaining.

[random11]

I don't think Coulson will die, these shows just don't do that.
Unless you have a problem with the actor himself, a character might die but he will soon be replaced with a variation of himself.
Flash is probably the worst offender in this, but others tend to follow the same pattern.

So instead, I predict other-Coulson will join the team after the rest of his partners die, and SHIELD will prove to him that they are worthy by beating the bat thingies.

[Rogar Demonblud]

Eh, Gregg's leaving the show, so all bets are off. Besides, they kind of beat that horse into a fine molecular mist with Brett Dalton.

[random11]

So heroic death it is then.

It's sad that we can predict the results based on production news.

[Joran]

Eh, Gregg's leaving the show, so all bets are off. Besides, they kind of beat that horse into a fine molecular mist with Brett Dalton.

I miss our seasonal Agent Ward cameo.

[John Campbell]

Gryffindor: Bravery
Ravenclaw: Smart
Slytherin: Ambition
Hufflepuff: Other Heart Loyalty

Or:
Gryffindor: Main protagonists
Ravenclaw: Huge nerds
Slytherin: Obvious villains
Hufflepuff: No one cares

I thought Daisy and Gemma tripping balls was the best thing about the season so far. Admittedly, that wasn't exactly a high bar to clear.

The alien bat....
Ugh.
Yoyo has FREAKING SUPER SPEED.

Yoyo's power is such an obvious counter to an enemy whose primary defense is agility that, until she used it to kill her boyfriend, I was seriously wondering if the writers had actually forgotten that she had a superpower.

But no. She just wasn't using it because stupid plot contrivance.

[Palanan]

Gah. I didn’t bother to watch this on Friday. Kept forgetting it was there, then finally started a little while ago.

And quit in disgust after

Spoiler

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Fitz crawled into Gemma’s childhood bedroom.

Is the whole episode just the two of them stuck in the mind prison? If so I’ll skip it.

[JadedDM]

Why don't you just quit the show? You clearly don't enjoy it.

[Palanan]

I don't enjoy what's happened to it, especially this season.

I was hoping that Fitz and Gemma would make it at least watchable, but not when they're stuck in an alien mind-prison.



Also....

Spoiler: Chronicon Causality

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If I recall correctly, Coulson and his crew (minus Fitz) were kidnapped by Enoch and his goons, and flung into the future to stop the destruction of the world, owing to the predictions of Robin, yadda yadda. As I recall, it was Robin's drawings on the refrigerator of the home where Enoch was living.

So here we have a Chronicon tampering in a massive way with causality and the spacetime continuum. Now jump to this season, where Fitz is hunted by Chronicons for tampering in a massive way with causality and the spacetime continuum, which was exactly what Enoch wanted him to do.

Did the writers conveniently forget this between seasons, or is there some key element I'm overlooking?

Spoiler: Fitz in Spaaaaaaace!!!

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Also, someone remind me of the Saga of Fitz, and which Fitz we're dealing with now.

This is not Boba Fett Fitz, who lasted 90-odd years in cryofreeze, became a deadly bounty hunter or something, crashed the Kree party on Quaked Earth, helped rescue everyone, went back with everyone to not-yet-Quaked Earth, fought Major Delusions and died from rebar to the gut.

This is Firefly Fitz, who was blasted out of cryofreeze, signed onto a series of tramp freighters, was chased after by Gemma and Daisy for a year, and was finally captured by the Chronicons and dumped into a mind prison.

Do I have that correctly? This Fitz is a little tougher than baseline Previous Seasons Fitz, but not as hardcore as Boba Fett Fitz. Is that more or less the size of it?

[JadedDM]

Spoiler: Chronicon Causality

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According to Enoch himself, Chronicons cannot intervene unless it's to avoid an extinction level event. Which in the case of Earth, it was. Also, the prophecy basically said he had to.

Spoiler: Fitz in Spaaaaaaace!!!

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Correct. Everything that happened to Fitz starting from the point that he appeared in the future did not happen to this Fitz. So he didn't marry Jemma, he didn't learn Deek was his grandson, he didn't pose as a bounty hunter, didn't learn to deal with his evil alter-ego from the Framework (Leopold) etc.

[Zalabim]

Spoiler: Chronicon Causality

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If I recall correctly, Coulson and his crew (minus Fitz) were kidnapped by Enoch and his goons, and flung into the future to stop the destruction of the world, owing to the predictions of Robin, yadda yadda. As I recall, it was Robin's drawings on the refrigerator of the home where Enoch was living.

So here we have a Chronicon tampering in a massive way with causality and the spacetime continuum. Now jump to this season, where Fitz is hunted by Chronicons for tampering in a massive way with causality and the spacetime continuum, which was exactly what Enoch wanted him to do.

Did the writers conveniently forget this between seasons, or is there some key element I'm overlooking?

Spoiler: For this I can make an exception

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I recall Enoch said it was allowable (for him to interfere) when it comes to extinction events, since that would necessarily end his job. That's just talking about his own job though. There's no reason the other Chronicons have to follow that as a universal rule, plus the destruction of their planet would qualify as just as much an exception if they did. Also, they're hunting Fitz for tampering with the universe, yes, but that's revealed to be ultimately because they want to know how to tamper with the universe.

[Starbuck_II]

I miss our seasonal Agent Ward cameo.

I loved Ward, sucked he became a bad guy.
He was like B Team Captain America.

[Palanan]

So, can someone give me a capsule summary of last week's episode?

Spoiler

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I quit watching after Fitz crawled under the desk into Gemma's bedroom.

Did Fitz and Gemma ever break out of the mindscape prison, or are they still lying unconscious like schmucks? And were there any scenes back on Earth?

[JadedDM]

Spoiler: S6E6 Inescapable

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Fitz and Simmons went through some character development, where Fitz had to deal with Nazi Leopold and Simmons, it turns out, has some really eff'ed up stuff she represses (basically a Ringu version of herself) because she's so very British. But in the end, they fight their demons (actually, their demons start making out with each other and they slip past them), and decide that it doesn't matter if they are trapped in that mindscape forever. At least they are together.

But then Enoch frees them, after having beaten up the guards and turning off the machine. The episode ends with the three of them making their escape.

Also, Fitz learns his other self married Simmons, died, and that Deke is actually his grandson.

[Palanan]

Okay, thanks--I appreciate the summary. Sounds like I didn't miss much, especially with the lame ending in which Enoch rescues them, rather than their geniusing their way out of the situation as they properly should.

Also, what's Ringu? No idea what that means.

[Zalabim]

I would like to remind everyone that Simmons worked undercover, successfully, in a hydra lab long before Fitz even took a level in badass.

The ep also has a brief scene where Daisy and Mack share what they each know, so they're more or less on the same page about the Shrike.

[JadedDM]

Ringu is a 1998 Japanese horror film about a cursed videotape that kills anyone who watches it within seven days. It had an iconic scene of a creepy ghost girl with long hair in her face crawling out of a television set.

Spoiler: Animated gif

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This was the form Simmons' repressed darkness took, and Fitz even used the term 'Ringu' to describe her, so it was clearly meant as a reference.

[The New Bruceski]

Also notable that the episode ended with Mack filling Daisy in on this year's Earth catastrophe. Her response:
https://i.imgur.com/20aTgOO.mp4
"Well, okay."

[Palanan]

o gawd. NOT KITSON!!!

Spoiler: Yes, Kitson

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Just when you think the interstellar escapades couldn’t get any worse, we’re back at Kitson, for absolutely no reason other than plot contrivance.

The guillotine-betting scene was quite possibly the nadir of the entire series thus far. It just looked chintzy, like it was filmed in the driver’s union break room or something. Zero tension, but too dopey to be amusing.

Also, the gambling-den proprietor is paying his security way too much when a woman can put a knife to his back six feet away from them. Agent May would've cleaned the floor with her.

Spoiler: Deke

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Okay, I’ve had enough Deke for…

…ever, really. I’m not sure what the point of the character is, other than as a seventh wheel that doesn’t belong. And he's just too annoying to be sympathetic in that role.

Spoiler: Alas, Poor Enoch

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And, he leaves. Unlike Fitz, I wouldn’t have considered hugging him. “Trapped in a mindscape” is hard to forgive.

Besides that, Enoch has an optimistic view of “mission accomplished,” given that his stated goal of getting them back to Earth hasn’t actually happened yet. “Taking a ship full of lowlifes with a jury-rigged jump drive in the general direction of Earth” is not quite the same as “successfully returned home to Earth.”

As for Enoch's departure...to quote Enoch himself, "I am not sure what I am feeling." At least he didn't explode this time.

Spoiler: Shrike Invaders

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You know, if you have two alien creatures in doomed human hosts converging on each other, it’s probably best practice to not let them actually complete the convergence. It never ends well.

Also, “dies when exposed to cold” is kind of an easy fix. Mac gave away the farm pretty fast in exchange for some very basic intel. Don't they have truth serum or something?

In fact, when Yo-Yo was "interrogating" Jocko, I was thinking that Black Widow would've had the entire story out of him in less time than that, plus all of Jocko's secret family recipes.

Spoiler: Habanero Nachos

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You know, there are probably nacho commercials with better special effects than the fire-breathing sequence. It was almost painfully embarrassing.

I’m not forgetting Lincoln and Daisy team-blasting Lash in the hospital corridor, which was pretty bad in terms of effects…but this was worse. Much, much worse.

Contrast that with the absolutely beautiful CGI work on the quinjet’s docking with the Zephyr, which is reused footage from a couple seasons ago. I felt like I was watching a completely different show when they showed us that clip again.

Wherever they put their money this year, it wasn’t fire-breathing effects. Maybe they spent it on Kitson.

[The New Bruceski]

Seriously, just stop watching. When was the last time you weren't kvetching?

[JadedDM]

Yeah, when you get to the point that you skip over an entire episode and ask for a synopsis online, maybe you should consider why you're actually watching this show anymore. Sunk cost fallacy aside, ask yourself this: There are only five episodes left this season. Do you think there's anything that can happen within those five episodes that will make you feel that the season has been worth it?

[Androgeus]

Yhea definitely seems like you’d be better served waiting for season 7 to have aired and then binging the remainder of the show. It means you’d only have a week or so of annoyance rather than dragging it out over several months.

[Rogar Demonblud]

Yeah, I stopped trying to watch it live during the LMD arc, since I just could not stay awake.

[The New Bruceski]

Are we rolling into the end of a story arc next week already? Feels too soon but I don't see how they can extend it more.

[JadedDM]

Not sure, but there are still 4 episodes left this season.

[Lvl45DM!]

Yo-Yo actually uses her speed in this episode!

[Palanan]

Only four more episodes? That would be ten short of a usual season’s tally, unless I’m missing something.

As for last Friday’s episode, it was solid and enjoyable. I was ready to spin up the Kvetch-O-Tron 3000^TM, but the focus was almost entirely on Mad Maxxson and his nefarious plans. Despite its disappointments, this season has managed to get me intensely curious in who he is and what he’s up to.

That’s entirely due to Clark Gregg. This is about as close as I’ve seen him play a villain, and he does it well.

Spoiler: Fitz in S̶p̶a̶a̶a̶a̶a̶a̶a̶c̶e̶ Reentry!!

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Thankfully we’re at least done with the whole space thing, which even the characters were sick of.

This alone greatly improved the episode.

Spoiler: He Said, She Said

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So, the “beast” is the same individual who “rescued” Fitz and Simmons, and who claims that she’s the wronged party and Mad Maxxson is to blame.

Since she seems to destroy planets in a snit, I’m a little more inclined to go with Maxxson for now, but I’m guessing they’ll end up destroying each other somehow. Probably in some contrived fashion which lets Mad Maxxson achieve his vengeful goals and yet still die a hero's death.

Spoiler: Mommy Dearest

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I confess I was a little surprised when Pink Bangs started crooning to one of the shrikes, although I shoulda seen it coming. I would’ve preferred that they introduced her much earlier, so we would’ve had a more sympathetic view of her throughout the early episodes of the season. She sort of came out of nowhere, so I feel like there was a missed opportunity to mess with the audience a little more.

I also wonder if she’s really what we’re being teased that she is—ancient quasi-immortal worshipped as a god, yadda yadda—or if she’s simply a host for the Shrike Queen or something.

Spoiler: Those **** Rocks

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Ahh, the monoliths again. Give the writers credit, they’ve managed to tie this into one of the show’s longest-running mysteries, which is exactly where those &#$%@!! things came from.

I honestly can’t remember what’s happened to them in the current timeline—blasted, lost, dumped at the bottom of the ocean?

Spoiler: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Shrike

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I’m a little puzzled at Mad Maxxson’s choice of a bomb to destroy the Shrike Tower. Since we’ve already demonstrated that a little high-altitude cold is all it takes, I would think he’d just want a big tank of liquid nitrogen to spray over the whole thing.

Spoiler: Snowbunny

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Is it wrong that I kinda want her to stab Deke before this is all over?

…yes, probably. But still.

[JadedDM]

Spoiler: Those **** Rocks

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Ahh, the monoliths again. Give the writers credit, they’ve managed to tie this into one of the show’s longest-running mysteries, which is exactly where those &#$%@!! things came from.

I honestly can’t remember what’s happened to them in the current timeline—blasted, lost, dumped at the bottom of the ocean?

Spoiler: Fate of the Monoliths

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All three monoliths were destroyed in an explosion from the kree orb that Hale sabotaged to explode once it was brought back to the Lighthouse. Noah was killed in the explosion, as well. This caused a rift in space-time that resulted in the 'fear dimension' seeping into our world.

[Rogar Demonblud]

Only four more episodes? That would be ten short of a usual season’s tally, unless I’m missing something.

You're forgetting they decided to split 6 into 6 & 7.

[Palanan]

Not forgetting, I straight up didn't know that. I thought Seasons 6 and 7 would both have 20+ episodes.

So when is Season 6.5, aka Season 7, going to be aired?