The Order of the Stick: Utterly Dwarfed
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  1. - Top - End - #31
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Devil

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Over there!
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Attack and Defend

    Sidreal Exalted would disagree. I Kung-Fu your destiny so hard you are a frog now. A frog that doesn't exist.

    I'm sticking with reality warping martial arts. Why would I stop?
    GNU Terry Pratchett

  2. - Top - End - #32
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2008

    Default Re: Attack and Defend

    I slap you on the back of the head. "To defend yourself, idiot!"

    I launch away form you at .9999 times the speed of light.
    Leo, Ajax, Deshy, Cutty, Erica.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  3. - Top - End - #33
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

    Join Date
    Feb 2018

    Default Re: Attack and Defend

    I fire a photon torpedo. If it is made of light, good luck trying to outrun it.

    I summon a tyrannosaurus rex to protect me.

  4. - Top - End - #34
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Imp

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Ubiquitous
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Attack and Defend

    I chase it back at you with a can of Bat Tyrannosaurus repellent

    I go hide in the Batcave.
    This is a boring signature.
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES
    EXPLODED RUNES
    PICTURE OF A CAT
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES

  5. - Top - End - #35
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2008

    Default Re: Attack and Defend

    Looks like a vampire beat you to it.

    I disintegrate into a fine mist and slowly float away!
    Leo, Ajax, Deshy, Cutty, Erica.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  6. - Top - End - #36
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Devil

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Over there!
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Attack and Defend

    I use the holy hoover of St Scrubulous, patron saint of cleaning supplies.

    I protect myself with the indestructable teatray of St Jeeves, patron saint of manners.
    GNU Terry Pratchett

  7. - Top - End - #37
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

    Join Date
    Feb 2018

    Default Re: Attack and Defend

    I throw a hissy fit and start flipping over furniture. St Jeeves doesn't know how to deal with this and the teatray loses its magic.

    I build a walk-in freezer at the entrance to my lair, inflicting frostbite on anyone who tries to pass through.

  8. - Top - End - #38
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2008

    Default Re: Attack and Defend

    I crash in through the ceiling instead!

    I drop a heavy stone dome over my opponent and try to run away while they're dealing with that.
    Leo, Ajax, Deshy, Cutty, Erica.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  9. - Top - End - #39
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Imp

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Ubiquitous
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Attack and Defend

    I cast Stone to Flesh on the falling rock and flood the chamber with an awful stench.

    While the flesh is still falling, I use a Rope Trick to hide.
    Last edited by Korith; 2019-07-22 at 01:58 PM.
    This is a boring signature.
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES
    EXPLODED RUNES
    PICTURE OF A CAT
    EXPLOSIVE RUNES

  10. - Top - End - #40
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

    Join Date
    Feb 2018

    Default Re: Attack and Defend

    As you enter the hiding place, I sneak a bag of holding onto your person.

    I use the resulting chaos as a distraction to cover my escape.

  11. - Top - End - #41
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2008

    Default Re: Attack and Defend

    I kick you into the swirling silver hole that you yourself created.

    I activate my items of Disguise and Aura Masking and vanish into a crowd!
    Leo, Ajax, Deshy, Cutty, Erica.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  12. - Top - End - #42
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Devil

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Over there!
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Attack and Defend

    I release 4 or 5 different zombie viruses into said crowd. That will get you, one way or another.

    I inoculate myself against zombie-ism and seal myself in a secret doomsday vault.
    GNU Terry Pratchett

  13. - Top - End - #43
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

    Join Date
    Feb 2018

    Default Re: Attack and Defend

    I send in some vampires in mist form, then seal your vault from the outside so it is utterly airtight. Either the vampires will get you, or you will suffocate eventually.

    I fake my death and give myself a viking funeral, then retire to somewhere out of the way, where the undead infection has not spread.

  14. - Top - End - #44
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2008

    Default Re: Attack and Defend

    While you're doing that, I free the vampires and coordinate with them to embargo your stupid island hideout. We then go on to fix humanity using EvilDMMK3's formula.

    I then deploy my own experimental formula. It makes me immune to all physical harm!
    Leo, Ajax, Deshy, Cutty, Erica.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  15. - Top - End - #45
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Devil

    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Location
    Location, Location

    Default Re: Attack and Defend

    Quote Originally Posted by Dr.Gunsforhands View Post
    While you're doing that, I free the vampires and coordinate with them to embargo your stupid island hideout. We then go on to fix humanity using EvilDMMK3's formula.

    I then deploy my own experimental formula. It makes me immune to all physical harm!
    It does not, however, protect you from mental harm. I proceed to strap you into a chair and force your eyes open. I then turn on thousands of various screens and make you watch horrific insanities, Robot Chicken style.

    I hide behind a rock.
    A fundamental truth about existence: All is to be laughed at.

    Lawful Evil with Chaotic Good tendencies. Have fun figuring that out.

    How to deal with Slowbro in Gen 1:
    1. Mewtwo
    2. there is no #2.

    Quote Originally Posted by Seerow View Post
    C'mon RNG, play nice.
    Quote Originally Posted by Man_Over_Game View Post
    Well, that makes you Dr. Robotnik. So...yeah?

  16. - Top - End - #46
    Barbarian in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2018

    Default Re: Attack and Defend

    Quote Originally Posted by Laughing Dog View Post
    I hide behind a rock.
    I hadouken the rock.

    I play Guile's theme (because it goes with everything) to ward off attacks.

  17. - Top - End - #47
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2008

    Default Re: Attack and Defend

    Guile's theme also goes with you getting shot in the face in slow-motion.

    With bullet-time activated, I can dodge anything that comes my way!
    Leo, Ajax, Deshy, Cutty, Erica.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  18. - Top - End - #48
    Barbarian in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2018

    Default Re: Attack and Defend

    Quote Originally Posted by Dr.Gunsforhands View Post
    With bullet-time activated, I can dodge anything that comes my way!
    You thought it was Magic_Hat, but it was actually I, Dio who can just flat out stop time. I crush you with a steamroller.

    I make references to more anime memes to thwart anyone!

  19. - Top - End - #49
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Devil

    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Location
    Location, Location

    Default Re: Attack and Defend

    I teleport you to London. Specifically, the Hellsing Ultimate Abridged London. You hear a guitar strumming. By the way, nice replica Holy Crusader costume you have on.

    I cast Platinum Angel.
    A fundamental truth about existence: All is to be laughed at.

    Lawful Evil with Chaotic Good tendencies. Have fun figuring that out.

    How to deal with Slowbro in Gen 1:
    1. Mewtwo
    2. there is no #2.

    Quote Originally Posted by Seerow View Post
    C'mon RNG, play nice.
    Quote Originally Posted by Man_Over_Game View Post
    Well, that makes you Dr. Robotnik. So...yeah?

  20. - Top - End - #50
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2008

    Default Re: Attack and Defend

    Essence Backlash? Dome you for 4?

    I hide in a huge maze constructed of recently-used pizza boxes! The flies and the smell should be impenetrable!
    Leo, Ajax, Deshy, Cutty, Erica.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  21. - Top - End - #51
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    RedWizardGuy

    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Attack and Defend

    The grease sure ain't, though. Flicks cigarette lighter

    The resulting fire causes the building to collapse on top of me. Fortunately I'm a main character, otherwise that might've actually left a bruise.
    My Homebrew
    Healer: Pathfinder remake of the 3.5 class of the same name. Light, restoration, and more positive energy effects than you can shake a cleric at.

  22. - Top - End - #52
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Personification's Avatar

    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Location
    CLASSIFIED
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Attack and Defend

    I cast George R. R. Martin.

    I get adapted into a TV show and suddenly I not only have plot armor now, but if I die anyway I get resurrected.
    Stop using good evidence and logic that makes sense to refute points, that's my job
    Lots of people seem to use blue for sarcasm, I decided I should too
    Quote Originally Posted by nabcif View Post
    Nitpick: I believe you'll find that only our heads explode. Page 43 of Book of Pedantic Forumites, if memory serves.
    I have joined the ranks of the FFRPeople Here is my character.

    Thank you to Linkele for creating my avatar!

  23. - Top - End - #53
    Barbarian in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2018

    Default Re: Attack and Defend

    Quote Originally Posted by Personification View Post
    I get adapted into a TV show and suddenly I not only have plot armor now, but if I die anyway I get resurrected.
    I'm a network executive who cancels the show. Then I reboot it, but your character is now female to broaden the demographics. So deal with that.

    I allow Disney to buy this TV network meaning if you want to take me down you have to go through Disney.

  24. - Top - End - #54
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Devil

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Over there!
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Attack and Defend

    I dredge up some socially and politically questionable comments you have made in the past. Disney takes you down to protect it's image.

    I create a virus to purge all my social media from the internet.
    GNU Terry Pratchett

  25. - Top - End - #55
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2008

    Default Re: Attack and Defend

    I stab you. *poke* No *poke* social *poke* media *poke* required.

    I lock myself in your pantry!
    Leo, Ajax, Deshy, Cutty, Erica.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  26. - Top - End - #56
    Barbarian in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2018

    Default Re: Attack and Defend

    Quote Originally Posted by Dr.Gunsforhands View Post
    I lock myself in your pantry!
    I burn my house down. Have fun being locked in my pantry.

    I commit insurance fraud for my burnt down house to collect a lot of money making me financially invincible to any attack.

  27. - Top - End - #57
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    Planetar

    Join Date
    Sep 2019

    Default Re: Attack and Defend

    Quote Originally Posted by Magic_Hat View Post
    I burn my house down. Have fun being locked in my pantry.

    I commit insurance fraud for my burnt down house to collect a lot of money making me financially invincible to any attack.
    I prosecute you in criminal court for burning a house, and knowingly killing a man.

    I Defend myself by Locking myself in solitary.

  28. - Top - End - #58
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Dr.Gunsforhands's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2008

    Default Re: Attack and Defend

    I have you transferred to a, "temporary detention camp."

    I surround myself with an ablative layer of emotionally-vulnerable slaves.
    Leo, Ajax, Deshy, Cutty, Erica.
    Avatar by the Ninja Chocobo.

  29. - Top - End - #59
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Devil

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Over there!
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Attack and Defend

    Deploy the ninja-therapists!

    I hole up in ninja hybrid HQ.
    GNU Terry Pratchett

  30. - Top - End - #60
    Barbarian in the Playground
    Join Date
    Aug 2018

    Default Re: Attack and Defend

    Quote Originally Posted by Evil DM Mark3 View Post
    I hole up in ninja hybrid HQ.
    I write negative yelp reviews of you HQ.

    With my supreme social media presence no one can harm me!

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