The Order of the Stick: Utterly Dwarfed
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  1. - Top - End - #61
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    AssassinGuy

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    Default Re: What animal forms would actually be good for vampires?

    Quote Originally Posted by Peelee View Post
    My baby has an English/Korean colors book and an English/German animals book. And while I like them, whenever he brings the animal book to me I'm always thinking they could have picked different animals. I don't think he's learning much with der Tiger, das Zebra, and die Giraffe.
    Eh, it helps teach the grammar, which for me was (and is) a significantly larger hurdle than the vocabulary.
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  2. - Top - End - #62
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    Default Re: What animal forms would actually be good for vampires?

    Quote Originally Posted by Keltest View Post
    Eh, it helps teach the grammar, which for me was (and is) a significantly larger hurdle than the vocabulary.
    While I really do think they seeded a few too many identically-named animals, I did very deliberately choose the examples I gave.
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  3. - Top - End - #63
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    Default Re: What animal forms would actually be good for vampires?

    Quote Originally Posted by Peelee View Post
    While I really do think they seeded a few too many identically-named animals, I did very deliberately choose the examples I gave.
    Heh.

    Do remember both that English started out as a flavor of German that eventually ate a bunch of Latin and romantic languages and most of those animals do not come from areas where either English or German were at all a native language.
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  4. - Top - End - #64
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    Default Re: What animal forms would actually be good for vampires?

    that would actually be good for what vampires do?

    Mosquitoes.

    small, light, fast, drinks blood, is a normal creature to an outside observer, human might not realize your drinking their blood, reasons like that.

    I mean its not as if vampires aren't already human mosquitoes, so it fits.
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  5. - Top - End - #65
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    Default Re: What animal forms would actually be good for vampires?

    Not an animal, but shortly after the Twilight movies came out, one of my players improvised a one-shot adventure where the vampire villain could turn into Elton John.
    Last edited by Misereor; 2019-07-16 at 06:18 AM.
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  6. - Top - End - #66
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    Default Re: What animal forms would actually be good for vampires?

    There are two main avenues imo, stealth and attack. As a vampire, do you want to be an overwhelmingly powerful monster? Then by all means become an ROUS. Just avoid nearby fire swamps. On the other hand, if you want to stalk and ambush your prey, you would be better off as a fairly innocuous creature that blends in well. A normal rat, cat, or bird. "Nobody here but us pigeons, please, continue to walk towards a spot with no witnesses." Ideally you would have two forms, one for reconnaissance, one for combat. If you couldnt mass up into a larger form of it, you probably would like a cheetah form. Incredibly fast sprinter, highly lethal capabilities. They also weigh about as much as a healthy young man of average height, topping off at around 150 lbs. So much less mass issues unless you are the mountain the rides. They also hunt game naturally that is only a little smaller than the average adult. So i would imagine a human intelligent cheetah would be able to handle taking down most people fairly well even without any passive boosts to speed or strength that being a vampire might impart. Considering they can already run down a car going highway speeds, you have to imagine a vampiric version would be about impossible to escape with anything less than a jet engine.
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  7. - Top - End - #67
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    Default Re: What animal forms would actually be good for vampires?

    Quote Originally Posted by Misereor View Post
    Not an animal, but shortly after the Twilight movies came out, one of my players improvised a one-shot adventure where the vampire villain could turn into Elton John.
    That's one of the best things I've ever heard. And that includes the time Elton John composed a song about a microwave oven on the fly.
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  8. - Top - End - #68
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    Default Re: What animal forms would actually be good for vampires?

    Considering they can already run down a car going highway speeds, you have to imagine a vampiric version would be about impossible to escape with anything less than a jet engine.
    The fact they can sprint a short distance really doesn't matter. The car will keep going long after they've collapsed panting. A vampire's most lethal animal form is human.

  9. - Top - End - #69
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    Default Re: What animal forms would actually be good for vampires?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rogar Demonblud View Post
    The fact they can sprint a short distance really doesn't matter. The car will keep going long after they've collapsed panting. A vampire's most lethal animal form is human.
    Im not sure why you think the ability to do a quarter mile dash at 75 mph doesnt matter when it comes to catching and killing their target. I more meant the car thing to show just how absurdly fast they can run. Even their nonsprint speed would leave usain bolt mauled on the ground in seconds. And its not just straight line speed, these guys are VERY agile at high speeds meaning good luck dodging even if you get the chance to try. And all of this is unenhanced. If being a vampire in the form transfers any bonuses, that would be absurdly lethal.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd-o-rama View Post
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  10. - Top - End - #70
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    Default Re: What animal forms would actually be good for vampires?

    Quote Originally Posted by Peelee View Post
    My baby has an English/Korean colors book and an English/German animals book. And while I like them, whenever he brings the animal book to me I'm always thinking they could have picked different animals. I don't think he's learning much with der Tiger, das Zebra, and die Giraffe.
    Well, I'm sure he learns also about der Löwe (yay, umlaute), das Nashorn (rhino is a much nicer name than noshorn I'll admit) or die Gans (no relation to 'ganz', which means whatever we want it to)
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  11. - Top - End - #71
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    Default Re: What animal forms would actually be good for vampires?

    Quote Originally Posted by Traab View Post
    Im not sure why you think the ability to do a quarter mile dash at 75 mph doesnt matter when it comes to catching and killing their target.
    If you're a vampire and your prey is running away, you're doing it wrong. They're stealth hunters, they don't do pursuit.
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  12. - Top - End - #72
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    Default Re: What animal forms would actually be good for vampires?

    Quote Originally Posted by veti View Post
    If you're a vampire and your prey is running away, you're doing it wrong. They're stealth hunters, they don't do pursuit.
    Bah, there are more than one type of vampire. And besides, as I said, there are two main reasons for an animal form, stealth and reconnaissance, and combat. Being a standard pigeon would be ideal for sneaking around and waiting to ambush prey, but if the time ever comes for combat, being able to move at highway speeds, turn on a virtual dime, and have the natural tools to tear out throats all WITHOUT any vampiric enhancements added on top is a nice package deal. WITH vampiric bonuses anything less than an armored division is going to die screaming.
    "Interdum feror cupidine partium magnarum Europae vincendarum"
    Translation: "Sometimes I get this urge to conquer large parts of Europe."

    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd-o-rama View Post
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  13. - Top - End - #73
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    Default Re: What animal forms would actually be good for vampires?

    Quote Originally Posted by Traab View Post
    Bah, there are more than one type of vampire.
    Every author writes them differently. When you think about it, werewolves are a type of vampire.
    The end of what Son? The story? There is no end. There's just the point where the storytellers stop talking.

  14. - Top - End - #74
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    Default Re: What animal forms would actually be good for vampires?

    My personal favorite vampires are from Robin McKinley's Sunshine. They can't change form, but are obscenely fast, and can move in ways not entirely contained in our reality. The older they get, the more sensitive they are to sunlight. Young vampires can endure twilight, older ones need to avoid the full moon, and several-century old ones even need to avoid reflected starlight. And wood from apple trees that host mistletoe make the best vampire-killing stakes.

    Edit: Which I suppose really belongs in Media Discussions.
    Last edited by Lord Torath; 2019-07-19 at 12:25 PM.
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  15. - Top - End - #75
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    Default Re: What animal forms would actually be good for vampires?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rogar Demonblud View Post
    The fact they can sprint a short distance really doesn't matter. The car will keep going long after they've collapsed panting. A vampire's most lethal animal form is human.
    Then what if he transforms into a more naturally power human?

    If Cedric Diggory as vampire is already the most lethal animal form, wouldn't Dwayne Johnson as vampire be even more so?

    Quote Originally Posted by Reese Briggs View Post
    Vampires are potentially immortal, but they do have a few weaknesses. They can be destroyed by a stake through the heart, fire, beheading and direct sunlight, and they are wary of crucifixes, holy water and garlic.
    So basically, they need to become a heartless, headless creature that lives in the water, like a sea sponge, or one of those corals that secrete their own sunscreen?
    Last edited by Xyril; 2019-07-19 at 12:39 PM.

  16. - Top - End - #76
    Ettin in the Playground
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    Default Re: What animal forms would actually be good for vampires?

    Nah, just change into an African hopping vampire. Or a chedipe. Or a penanggalan. Or any of about three dozen other variants.

  17. - Top - End - #77
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    EvilClericGuy

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    Default Re: What animal forms would actually be good for vampires?

    In Vampire the Masquerade, the turn into animal trick is covered by two different powers.

    Animalism - which at higher levels lets you possess animals.
    Protean - which actually involves shapeshifting.

    Under Protean, the character defaults to having a wolf and bat option. As the game became more popular and White Wolf needed more stuff to pad their splatbooks, wanted to provide more options for the players, they added alternate forms from other non-western vampire mythos. The forms the vampire gets are supposed to be specific to the vampire's personality and/or their culture. As they were scrapping the bottom of the barrel, to simplify things they declared a vampire gets one fight form and one flight (run away) form, but they don't get to change it once chosen. This is explained in a novel where an elder malkavian vampire (who somehow has 4 levels of the gangrel-only clan power of protean) battles a pack of sabbat vampires in his flight form of a badger (supposed to burrow away). It does not go well for the elder.

    I'm not sure, but I think that whole scene was meant to mock players who try to min-max their characters and make them special snowflakes.
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  18. - Top - End - #78
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    Default Re: What animal forms would actually be good for vampires?

    Quote Originally Posted by The Jack View Post
    I think these options would be curbed somewhat by the square root law.
    Plus, if I'm not mistaken shrimp are made out of Chitin which gets really annoying to carry around once you get past like a foot and a half in size.
    An explanation of why MitD being any larger than Huge is implausible.

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  19. - Top - End - #79
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    Default Re: What animal forms would actually be good for vampires?

    Quote Originally Posted by Squire Doodad View Post
    Plus, if I'm not mistaken shrimp are made out of Chitin which gets really annoying to carry around once you get past like a foot and a half in size.
    The main problem with chitin is not having lungs.
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  20. - Top - End - #80
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    Default Re: What animal forms would actually be good for vampires?

    Solved problem, vampires don't need them anyway.

  21. - Top - End - #81
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    Default Re: What animal forms would actually be good for vampires?

    Quote Originally Posted by Eldan View Post
    Eh, a tardigrade doesn't really give anything a vampire doesn't usually already have in fiction. Vampires already go into a death-like sleep where they last for centuries and are difficult to kill.

    Plus, the internet is super-memey about tardigrades. Their indestructibility? Doesn't work that way.
    Since TierZoo has already been mentioned: Are Waterbears OP?

    (Summary: no. Because they've min-maxed in favour of invulnerability to everything except the things that are actually likely to kill them).

    Although maybe their radiation resistance would also grant protection from sunlight, and so actually would be useful for vampires...

  22. - Top - End - #82
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    Default Re: What animal forms would actually be good for vampires?

    I’m not sure why creatures that can turn into a bat would follow conservation of “local” mass (I assume they tuck it into a pocket dimension or some similar gobbledygook, much like the Hellsing vampire’s private interior space).

    But to play along, how does a vampire know how to copy something anyway? Presumably they get some of the biology wrong. I think this question addresses the heart of all of this. Depending on how guided the process is, they could potentially impersonate other human beings or create their own life forms. I imagine that as a being that doesn’t care about blood flow, they could conceal almost any weapon on their person and use it at will, or simply form a weapon at will with the body’s mineral resources. None of these are new ideas, but once you get into transmutation at will I think you move this direction quickly and inevitably, or your vampires just look stupid and unimaginative (which reflects on the writer).

    If you can hand wave things with “magical limitations” of some sort, maybe an instinctive ability to copy the overall form of something they drink, then you have an intriguing proposition.

    Edit: in short, my answer is that a non-traditional creature suited to the task at hand is the clear answer.
    Last edited by MisterMan; 2019-09-12 at 10:30 PM. Reason: No double post

  23. - Top - End - #83
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    Default Re: What animal forms would actually be good for vampires?

    Komodo Dragon.

    Or should I say Komodo Dracula?

    First off- they get grooves in their teeth that gather bacteria and let us infect our prey, allowing them to die slowly elsewhere for us to feed on later. As chronic biters of prey, this may be of use to us, I dunno. This apparently is a myth and the actual dying of infection is from their serrated teeth opening massive wounds and dirty water near their typical homes.

    Still, I feel being a bitey creature synergises well with being a vampire. Means we can vamp out in animal form without needing to be human if necessary.

    Alternatively, for a flying form, mosquito. We're basically indistinguishible from a mosquito except we have a few extra supernatural powers like hypnovision and superspeed and super resilience. (That said due to the hated nature of mosquitos, if there is one species that humanity might intentionally try to make extinct one day, it's the mosquito. In that scenario, our vampire probably doesn't want to be the only remmant of that species, it's like a vampire tyrannosaurus rex, it gets attention.)

    And lastly for coolness, Vampire Tyrannosaurus Rex. Because holy hell and the ice lakes of tartarus, imagine this suave suited figure turning into a goth T-Rex, roaring, then trying to delicately bite your head off to get at your blood.
    Last edited by Malphegor; 2019-09-13 at 04:22 AM.
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  24. - Top - End - #84
    Ettin in the Playground
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    Default Re: What animal forms would actually be good for vampires?

    Bite the head off? Just eat the whole body and get every last carmine drop of blood.

  25. - Top - End - #85
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    Default Re: What animal forms would actually be good for vampires?

    Something cute enough that people are going to invite it into their house. In this regard I agree with the OP that a feline form might be optimal. A tiny kitten perhaps.

    EDIT:
    And in this form it can still make easy work of the average D&D peasant.

  26. - Top - End - #86
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    Default Re: What animal forms would actually be good for vampires?

    Bat, mosquito and leech. Those animals suck blood in real life (although most bats are not vampiric, some are), whíle other animals do not. There probably is a reason for that.

  27. - Top - End - #87
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    Default Re: What animal forms would actually be good for vampires?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bohandas View Post
    Something cute enough that people are going to invite it into their house. In this regard I agree with the OP that a feline form might be optimal. A tiny kitten perhaps.
    On the other hand a major vampire weakness is running water. Being a tiny kitten has significant risks in that regard, unless you keep enough vampire strength to be really good at breaking out of sacks.
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  28. - Top - End - #88
    Ettin in the Playground
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    Default Re: What animal forms would actually be good for vampires?

    Unless the bag is hermetically sealed you just mist out. Or turn into a full-sized vampire and explode out of the bag prior to releasing the blood from the veins in a rather more direct manner.

  29. - Top - End - #89
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    Default Re: What animal forms would actually be good for vampires?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kato View Post
    I propose a vampire Kolibri, and no I don't care about the proposed rules but the idea of a giant kolibri hunting maidens to attack with their tongue is too funny.
    Quote Originally Posted by halfeye View Post
    I remember Kolibri being a brand of fancy cigarette lighter (and I think perhaps jewellery). What's the monster?
    Quote Originally Posted by Kato View Post
    Ugh, I forgot that's not one of the animals with a similar English name, sorry. Hummingbird, Kolibri is the German word for hummingbird.
    Honestly when I saw it I misread it as Kohlrabi

  30. - Top - End - #90
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    Default Re: What animal forms would actually be good for vampires?

    Quote Originally Posted by Malphegor View Post
    Komodo Dragon.

    Or should I say Komodo Dracula?

    First off- they get grooves in their teeth that gather bacteria and let us infect our prey, allowing them to die slowly elsewhere for us to feed on later. As chronic biters of prey, this may be of use to us, I dunno. This apparently is a myth and the actual dying of infection is from their serrated teeth opening massive wounds and dirty water near their typical homes.

    Still, I feel being a bitey creature synergises well with being a vampire. Means we can vamp out in animal form without needing to be human if necessary.

    Alternatively, for a flying form, mosquito. We're basically indistinguishible from a mosquito except we have a few extra supernatural powers like hypnovision and superspeed and super resilience. (That said due to the hated nature of mosquitos, if there is one species that humanity might intentionally try to make extinct one day, it's the mosquito. In that scenario, our vampire probably doesn't want to be the only remmant of that species, it's like a vampire tyrannosaurus rex, it gets attention.)

    And lastly for coolness, Vampire Tyrannosaurus Rex. Because holy hell and the ice lakes of tartarus, imagine this suave suited figure turning into a goth T-Rex, roaring, then trying to delicately bite your head off to get at your blood.

    That made me remember a documentary where they turned the Tyrannosaurus into a giant vulture, it serves as a vampire dinosaur.

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    Last edited by Xania; 2019-10-03 at 01:06 PM.

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