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    Colossus in the Playground
     
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    Default The Ass: A Challenge.

    That's right all you homebrewers out there, I have a challenge for you. I made a discovery recently. If you look at the basic land-dwelling animals by challenge rating, the pecking order looks like this:

    Elephant
    Giant constrictor snake
    Brown bear|Polar bear|Rhinoceros|Tiger
    Lion|Huge viper snake
    Ape|Black bear|Bison|Boar|Cheetah|Constrictor snake|Leopard|Monitor lizard|Heavy warhorse|Wolverine
    Camel|Riding dog|Heavy & light horse|Hyena|Mule|Light warhorse|Wolf
    Baboon|Badger|Eagle|War pony|Small viper
    Dog|Hawk|Tiny viper
    Cat|Owl|Pony|Weasel
    Donkey|Lizard|Monkey
    Rat
    Bat|Toad

    The poor donkey can be picked on by almost everything. A lizard could take it out. Even a rat could give it trouble! The only thing a donkey could easily defeat is a toad! (a bat could just fly away)
    I feel sorry for this poor woebegone beast, so this is my challenge to you, if this is the right place and manner to set it: Create for me the best, baddest, meanest, kick-arsingest donkey Dungeons and Dragons can make. Make me a donkey to send all other animals quivering at its hooves. A donkey whose mere mention will send shivers down the spines of holy men at their shrines, whose horrid braying voice will send hardened adventurers crying to their mummies...
    Make me The Donkey of Donkeys.

    If you can think of something you want, I'll even offer a prize. A Concrete Donkey would be appropriate... Or maybe the Golden Ass.
    Last edited by Serpentine; 2007-10-08 at 09:19 AM.

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    Default Re: The Ass: A Challenge.

    Do you want a realistic animal, or will a donkey-type creature suffice?

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    Colossus in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: The Ass: A Challenge.

    I was thinking templates, etc. It would be nice if it were recognisably donkeyish, and if it had some trace of actual donkeyness in it. But whatever's going. Maybe I'll refine it a tad when I see what's on offer...

    edit: By the way, I hope I'm not stepping on your metaphorical toes here, VT?
    Last edited by Serpentine; 2007-10-08 at 09:29 AM.

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    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: The Ass: A Challenge.

    Best to take a look at the mule and downgrade it a mite (though not by much). That would seem to be in the right ballpark. Or maybe the pony could serve as a starting point.

    I had never noticed how feeble the donkey was. Gosh.
    Last edited by Lord Zentei; 2007-10-08 at 09:25 AM.
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    Default Re: The Ass: A Challenge.

    So you want... That Damn Ass? I'm sure Fax Celestis will be able to help.

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    Default Re: The Ass: A Challenge.

    *Waits for Pseudonatural Paragon Advanced Huge Monstrous Donkey*

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    Default Re: The Ass: A Challenge.

    Quote Originally Posted by Serpentine View Post
    I was thinking templates, etc. It would be nice if it were recognisably donkeyish, and if it had some trace of actual donkeyness in it. But whatever's going. Maybe I'll refine it a tad when I see what's on offer...
    Oh, it'll be based on donkeyness all right, no worries


    edit: By the way, I hope I'm not stepping on your metaphorical toes here, VT?
    Eh?

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    Default Re: The Ass: A Challenge.

    I was thinking of your monster competitions. And I look forward to seeing your ass

    Oh, if anyone fancied having a go at a less extreme version, I'd be interested to see one where all the classic donkey traits (stubbornness, kick, bite, smell, etc) were exaggerated. Of course, I'm guessing there'll be something like that in others, but I mean more to the extent of a simple exaggerated donkey than a whole new beast.
    Last edited by Serpentine; 2007-10-08 at 09:40 AM.

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    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: The Ass: A Challenge.

    I'm still not sure whether you want a super monster donkey or a realistic one, but if it is the former:

    (EDIT: Ninja'd Ah, seems you want an exaggerated realistic one, then. Oh, well...)


    Donkey of Doom

    Size/Type: Huge Animal
    Hit Dice: 13d8+65 (123 hp)
    Initiative: +2
    Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares)
    Armor Class: 16 (-2 size, +8 natural), touch 8, flat-footed 16
    Base Attack/Grapple: +9/+27
    Attack: Hoof +19 melee (2d6+10)
    Full Attack: Slam +19 melee (2d6+10) and 2 hoofs +18 melee (2d6+10)
    Space/Reach: 15 ft./10 ft.
    Special Attacks: Trample 2d8+15
    Special Qualities: Low-light vision, scent
    Saves: Fort +13, Ref +10, Will +6
    Abilities: Str 30, Dex 14, Con 20, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 6
    Skills: Balance +7, Listen +12, Spot +8
    Feats: Alertness, Endurance, Power Attack, Skill Focus (Listen), Run
    Environment: Temperate plains
    Organization: Solitary
    Challenge Rating: 10
    Advancement: 13-24 HD (Huge)
    Level Adjustment:

    Somewhat more powerful than an elephant.

    EDIT 2: since no one else has yet submitted a monster-donkey, I'm adding a couple of traits:

    Smell [Ex]

    Creatures within 20 ft. of a Donkey of Doom must pass a Fortitude save with DC (10 + ˝ the DoD's HD) or become Sickened. This condition lasts for 1d4 turns.

    Stubbornness [Ex]

    The DoD gains a +4 morale bonus to all mind control effects.


    And there you go.

    EDIT 3: improved the CR by +1, seems appropos.
    Last edited by Lord Zentei; 2007-10-08 at 09:56 AM.
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    Default Re: The Ass: A Challenge.

    That is one magnificient ass.

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    Colossus in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: The Ass: A Challenge.

    Oh no, that's beautiful. The exaggerated one was just sort of as a side-thing

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    Default Re: The Ass: A Challenge.

    A bad ass donkey... I have to try this.

    How does this work for a fiendish dire donkey?
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    Type: Large magical beast
    HD: 5d8+15 (37)
    Initiative: +1
    Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares)
    Aromor Class: 14 (+1Dex -1Size +4Natural)
    Attack: Bite +4 melee (1d4+3)
    Full Attack: Bite +4 melee (1d4+3) and (2)Hoof -1 (1d3+2)
    Space/Reach: 10ft/5ft
    Special Attacks: Smite Good 1/day
    Special Qualities: Low-Light Vision, Scent, Dark Vision 60 ft, DR -5/magic, Energy Resistance 5 cold and fire
    Saves: Fort +9, Ref +5, Will +7
    Abilies: Str 14, Dex 13, Con 16, Int 3, Wis 12, Cha 6
    Skills: Balance +4, Listen +5, Spot +4
    Feats: Iron Will (B), Endurance, Great Fortatude
    Enviroment: Any evil plane
    Organization: Solitary
    Challenge Rating: 3
    Advancement: 6-7 HD (Large)
    Level Adjustment:


    Edit: That Donkey of Doom is just cool...
    Last edited by Psionic Dog; 2007-10-08 at 09:55 AM.
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    Bugbear in the Playground
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    Default Re: The Ass: A Challenge.

    Whoops, sorry didn't see you there when I was updating mine, Psionic Dog.

    Fiendish Dire Donkey. Heh.


    Hmm, mayhap we need an abomination version: Child of an Evil God Donkey (TM).
    Last edited by Lord Zentei; 2007-10-08 at 10:01 AM.
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    Default I like big mules and I cannot lie, those other donkeys can't deny...

    Bad Ass



    Medium Magical Beast
    Hit Dice: 5d10+20 HD (47 hp)
    Initiative: +1
    Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares)
    Armor Class: 15 (+1 dex, +4 natural), touch 11, flat-footed 14
    Base Attack/Grapple: +5/+8
    Attack: Bite +8 melee (1d3+3) or Hoof +8 melee (1d4+3)
    Full Attack: Bite +8 melee (1d3+3) and 2 hooves +3 melee (1d4+3)
    Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
    Special Attacks: Bray
    Special Qualities: Darkvision 60 ft., hardy, low-light vision, rebel soul, scent, shall not be moved, tenacious strength
    Saves: Fort +8, Ref +5, Will +10
    Abilities: Str 16, Dex 13, Con 19, Int 3, Wis 11, Cha 8
    Skills: Balance +5, Listen +4, Spot +4
    Feats: Endurance(B), Iron Will, Steadfast Determination
    Environment: Temperate desert or plains
    Organization: Solitary
    Challenge Rating: 5
    Treasure: None
    Alignment: Always Chaotic Neutral
    Advancement: 6-9 HD (Medium)
    Level Adjustment: -

    This appears much like a normal donkey, though of somewhat greater size and musculature, and teeth of excessive length. What truly makes it differ from it's brethren however is it eyes there is a spark of intelligence there and it seems to bear an expression of ferocious rebellion.

    A bad ass cannot speak any language but it's own advanced version of donkey, but it understands common or whatever the common language of the area happens to be.

    Combat
    A bad ass is easily provoked, tending to merely stand perfectly still and ignore and aggravate its opponent. If damaged or seriously threatened however it lets loose with a horrible bray followed flying hooves.

    Bray (Su): As part of a standard action a bad ass can let out a tremendous cry. All creatures within 100 feet must succeed on a DC 16 will save or take a –2 penalty on attack rolls, saving throws, skill checks, and ability checks from the irritating racket. Those attempting to cast a spell must succeed on a DC 20 Concentration stack. A bad ass' bray counters and dispels Silence. A bad ass cannot use its bite attack while braying. This is a sonic, mind-affecting effect. The save DC is Constitution-based.

    Hardy (Ex): A bad ass is immune to exhaustion. Anything that would make it exhausted instead makes it fatigued.

    Rebel Soul (Ex):
    A bad ass gains a +4 bonus to save against mind-affecting effects.

    Shall Not Be Moved (Su): One that tries to force along a bad ass find out that they can become almost impossible to move. As an immediate action the bad ass can stand fast against any creature attempting to physically move it. They must succeed on an opposed Strength check, and the bad ass gains a +20 bonus on the check. The bad ass can’t voluntarily move to a new location while using this ability.

    While unmoving it cannot apply it's Dexterity bonus to Armor Class; however, while using this ability it gains damage reduction 15/-.

    The bad ass cannot physically attack or perform any other large-scale movements (it can make small scale movements, such as breathing, turning its head, moving its eyes, braying and so on). Powers with the teleportation descriptor, or any telekinetic effect, manifested on the bad ass automatically fail.

    Tenacious Strength (Ex): A bad ass is considered to have a Strength of 30 (+10 modifier) for the purpose of it's Carrying and Dragging Capacity. While carrying from 346 lbs. to 2,400 lbs., or dragging 1,726 lbs. to 12,000 lbs. it can only move at it's base speed and cannot run.

    The normal carrying capacity for a bad ass while not using Tenacious Strength is as follows:
    A light load for a bad ass is up to 112 pounds; a medium load, 115–229 pounds; and a heavy load, 231–345 pounds. A bad ass can drag 1725 pounds. While moving these loads, even a heavy one or dragging, the bad ass does not take a reduction in speed and can even run.

    Skills: Bad Ass' have a +4 racial bonus on Balance checks.
    Last edited by The Vorpal Tribble; 2007-10-08 at 06:45 PM.

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    Default Re: The Ass: A Challenge.

    That is one mean donkey Who knows maybe later on I'll give it a try myself.
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    Default Re: The Ass: A Challenge.

    its just a matter of Time until Fax stuns us all with a Ass of epic preportions.
    Last edited by Yeril; 2007-10-08 at 11:14 AM.

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    Default Re: The Ass: A Challenge.

    The Ikea Donkey! and best of all, it's only CR 7! Win! After all, who has desintegrate or earthquake at that level? You can pull out soften earth and stone, but I doubt anyone prepaired it that many times. Invincible donkey.
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    This thread is made of WIN.

    How much would it cost in Gp to buy a bad ass?
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    Default Re: The Ass: A Challenge.

    Quote Originally Posted by Machete View Post
    This thread is made of WIN.

    How much would it cost in Gp to buy a bad ass?
    Probably not much as it'd be about impossible to get them to do any work

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    Default Re: The Ass: A Challenge.

    Maybe apply the "Awakened" template... I'd say that ought to give it Favored Class: Aristocrat.
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    Default Re: The Ass: A Challenge.

    You know, I was ready to make two creatures to put here, but my hopes have been dashed. I was going to make some sort of Advanced Half-Blue Dragon Donkey (to naturally face off against a Half-Red Dragon Elephant), but it turns out that you can't even advance a Donkey. Or, I guess you could, but the SRD says "Advancement: --."

    So, instead, I decided that I'd make an Ass Clown by taking an awakened Donkey and giving it Bard levels (and maybe something like Master of Masks or some other clown-esque PrC), but it looks to me like Donkeys have a whopping -6 Charisma!

    And so now I've got to come up with other colloquial phrases and try to find some way to make one of them into a paragon of donkeyness. Of course, if anyone else wants to make either of the above ideas, they're free for you to do - I give up on them.
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    Default Re: The Ass: A Challenge.

    Quote Originally Posted by Telonius View Post
    Maybe apply the "Awakened" template... I'd say that ought to give it Favored Class: Aristocrat.
    Well, he's neither an animal nor unintelligent, so I don't think you can apply it.

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    Default Re: The Ass: A Challenge.

    How about a magical item: Concrete Donkey?

    Oh boy, I should play Worms 2 once again.

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    Default Re: The Ass: A Challenge.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Vorpal Tribble View Post
    Well, he's neither an animal nor unintelligent, so I don't think you can apply it.
    Can't apply the template, or can't apply Aristocrat?
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    Default Re: The Ass: A Challenge.

    Bad Ass. a Prattchet reference?
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    Default Re: The Ass: A Challenge.

    Quote Originally Posted by Telonius View Post
    Can't apply the template, or can't apply Aristocrat?
    Meant the former, but possibly also the latter

    Bad Ass. a Prattchet reference?
    No... an ass is the original name of the donkey. This is a really stubborn, epitome of evil donkey-kind, so it's 'bad'. This is of course a pun on the slang of someone being really tough, which the donkey also is.

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    Default Re: The Ass: A Challenge.

    Donkey of legend

    Size/Type: Medium Outsider
    Hit Dice: 2d8+12 (20 hp)
    Initiative: +8
    Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares)
    Armor Class: 21 (+4 dex, +7 natural), touch 14, flat-footed 17
    Base Attack/Grapple: +5/+5
    Attack: Hoof +5 melee (2d6+5)
    Full Attack: Bite +5 melee (1d6+5) and 2 hoofs +5 melee (2d6+5)
    Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
    Special Attacks: Frightful Presence
    Special Qualities: Low-light vision, scent, Reflective Hide, Immune to Mind-Affecting, Immune to Poison
    Saves: Fort +13, Ref +11, Will +4
    Abilities: Str 20, Dex 19, Con 22, Int 4, Wis 13, Cha 6
    Skills: Balance +3, Listen +3, Spot +2
    Feats: Endurance, Multi-Attack, Improved Initiative
    Environment: Temperate plains
    Organization: Solitary
    Challenge Rating: 2
    Advancement: -
    Level Adjustment: -

    A bit basic, yes.
    But technical possible, though why anyone would want to I don't know.
    Last edited by wadledo; 2007-10-08 at 05:52 PM.
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    cool Re: The Ass: A Challenge.

    I like big mules and I cannot lie, you other burros can't deny. That when a donkey walks in with an itsy bitty saddle and a silver bridle in their face, they get rode...

    ...but that beast you got, yeah it so ornery...
    Last edited by The Vorpal Tribble; 2007-10-08 at 06:56 PM.

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    Default Re: The Ass: A Challenge.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Vorpal Tribble View Post
    Meant the former, but possibly also the latter


    No... an ass is the original name of the donkey. This is a really stubborn, epitome of evil donkey-kind, so it's 'bad'. This is of course a pun on the slang of someone being really tough, which the donkey also is.
    If memory serves, the town was also named after a Donkey.

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    Default Re: The Ass: A Challenge.

    maybe someone could make a tarrASSque

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