Why Do Dragons Kidnap Princesses?

[No brains]

There is no princess. The princess was an illusion.

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There is no dragon. The dragon was also an illusion.

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The entire city where the players got this quest? Also an illusion.

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The mastermind was an illusionist who played a 'social experiment', scryed by their wizard friends.

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The party hath been punk'd.

[Gallowglass]

I mean, you obviously have never eaten a princess or you would already know the answer to that. They are delicious!

[M Placeholder]

Because the Wedge shape of the Princess is a 1970's design classic, and there aren't many left, thanks to really bad build quality and poor rustproofing.

[NRSASD]

The princess is actually fleeing an arranged marriage she despises, and volunteered to be 'kidnapped' as a way out of it.

This was actually a PC's backstory in my campaign

[Snails]

Proper etiquette classes and slumber parties so they can talk about boys.

To needlessly fail the Bechdel test, apparently.

[LibraryOgre]

In Hackmaster, Dragons are not born. Instead, a Drake who eats enough maidens will, eventually, be able to turn into a dragon, after a decade-long hibernation in a bone cocoon.

[Sigreid]

In truth, the princess has kidnapped the dragon!

[Xetheral]

It wasn't a Kidnapping... it was an Extraction. The princess hired the dragon to get her out of that stifling MegaCorp she was born into.

"What? I said we're playing fifth edition... you're the one who foolishly assumed I meant D&D. Now get out your d6's and make sure you have a lot of them, because that dragon has a fully-automatic grenade launcher with an airburst link and we're using chunky salsa rules."

[Xania]

In truth, the princess has kidnapped the dragon!

Could be, judging by the comments in the videos with Smaug in it

[Tiadoppler]

Curiosity: The dragon lives on a timescale of centuries, dealing in life and death, blood and flame, while the (spoiled) princess lives on a timescale of hours, where momentary fashions and social drama are the most important things she can imagine. It's all about having the opportunity to explore a new perspective.



Scavenger Hunt: The dragon is competing for a great prize, and must collect a dozen rare items, including the daughter of a king, to win a legendary artifact.



Competition: Dragons compete in a regular tournament to capture and hold princesses for as long as possible, under certain rules (no planar travel, no teleportation, must keep princess in a known cave or lair, etc.). When the party nears victory, the dragon states his time for the record and teleports away, disappointed or proud (depending on the party's speed).



The Power of Stories: Stories of dragons kidnapping princesses have existed for hundreds or thousands of years. None of the dragons really know why the stories are so common (most princesses don't seem that interesting, after all), but every once in a while, a dragon gets drunk and decides to try it for himself, to see if it's all it's cracked up to be. This perpetuates the stories.



Disguise: The princess is actually a shapeshifted dragon. The princess disappeared, and someone saw the dragon fly away. The assumption is that the princess has been kidnapped.

The real princess died in an accident years ago. A dragon took the opportunity to infiltrate the kingdom for their own purposes.

The real princess wanted to run away, so they made a deal with a dragon to impersonate them long enough to get a good head start on their overbearing family.

There is no real princess. A manipulative dragon has brainwashed the royal family into believing that they are the heir to the throne.

The ruling family is made up entirely of shapeshifted dragons. Their whelp daughter was incautious with her disguise, and her mother is punishing her by sending a couple of low-level adventuring parties after her.

The princess is cursed to assume a monstrous form (dragon) under certain circumstances. The problem is: she likes it.

Fashion Advice: The dragon has awoken from a slumber of centuries, and their wardrobe is equally outdated. To successfully blend in with this new time period, they need a makeover. The dragon's intent was to pay the princess with ancient jewels and then release her once her work was done, but obnoxious adventurers keep interrupting their fitting sessions.



Socio-Political Advice: The dragon has awoken from a slumber of centuries, and their knowledge of the surrounding nations is equally outdated. To update their intelligence on their territory, they require a high-ranking political expert, or, barring that, a talkative gossip.

[Barebarian]

I've always imagined they find they have a lot in common

[Tawmis]

I've got an upcoming session, Monday, which I plan to have a good ol' cliche "Dragon kidnapped a princess, go save her."
Knowing my players, it will probably go awry before they leave the castle, but hey. Gotta prepare at least a bit.
So, as the title said:
Why Do Dragons Kidnap Princesses?

So it turns out that the King is looking for a suitable man for his daughter's hand in marriage...
And has arranged a dragon to abduct his own daughter and put the suitors through a test...

I highly recommend making the castle an endless amount of traps and borrow music and sounds from the one true source of why Dragons abduct princesses.

[Barebarian]

So it turns out that the King is looking for a suitable man for his daughter's hand in marriage...
And has arranged a dragon to abduct his own daughter and put the suitors through a test...

I highly recommend making the castle an endless amount of traps and borrow music and sounds from the one true source of why Dragons abduct princesses.

I see you're a man of culture

[Yanagi]

When a dragon kidnaps a princess, the first thing you do is go to the kingdom's archives and make sure the king didn't abruptly buy a whole bunch of Princess Life Insurance a few months ago.

[Tawmis]

I see you're a man of culture

Finally! Someone says I have some culture...

[Barebarian]

When a dragon kidnaps a princess, the first thing you do is go to the kingdom's archives and make sure the king didn't abruptly buy a whole bunch of Princess Life Insurance a few months ago.

But then again, who hasn't? Correlation is not causation!

[Tawmis]

When a dragon kidnaps a princess, the first thing you do is go to the kingdom's archives and make sure the king didn't abruptly buy a whole bunch of Princess Life Insurance a few months ago.

via Imgflip Meme Generator

[Mordaedil]

All the other dragons were doing it (probably for reasons listed in this thread); this one just wanted to fit in.

The princess is the dragon. She was just using her shapechanger powers to pretend to be a human for a few years. Then she got bored, turned back into a dragon, and flew back to her cave. The media reported it as a 'kidnapping' due to a mistranslation.

An archfey is running an interplanar scavenger hunt. Contestants have to obtain the following before midnight: one diamond, two clubs, three men in a tub, the sign from the door of a popular pub, a princess, a frog, a queen's corgi dog, and a book without an epilogue.

I like this one, as well as some of the other suggestions in similar vein suggested here. Normal stories of kidnapping princesses at face value is hopelessly low-int representation, while even the dumbest dragons are close to human intelligence. There has to be more to it, but I think it doesn't hurt to leave it to adapt itself to the players a bit.

If they are decide to investigate things back in the kingdom where she was kidnapped from, maybe have it reveal that she was going to be married off for political reasons, while if they decide to head out immediately, favor one of the plots where the dragon has sights on overthrowing the monarchy.

Basically adapt the plot to what the players do as to be the most rewarding for their efforts.

But also just pick two or three of the paths you'd like the best.

[Yanagi]

But then again, who hasn't? Correlation is not causation!

*sigh*

You're right.

In a fantasy setting princess insurance is probably pretty common.

Not as common as venture capitalist dungeoneering firms, but pretty common.

[Barebarian]

*sigh*

You're right.

In a fantasy setting princess insurance is probably pretty common.

Not as common as venture capitalist dungeoneering firms, but pretty common.

Now the REAL question, is did the princess take out insurance on HERSELF before running off with her dragon boyfriend?

[Yora]

Dragons don't kidnap princesses. People select royalty for human sacrifice.

[Talion]

How else would they gain legal ownership over the country's ketchup mines? Someone has to sign over the deeds and resource rights to that, or else that valuable ketchup might go into provincial, non-Dragon hands. And besides, its the only way to get enough of the stuff to mask the taste of unwashed adventurers.

[Barebarian]

An 8 bit theater link? 8O I never thought I'd live to see the day!

[Ninja_Prawn]

hopelessly low-int representation

Yeah, dragons should be all about those galaxy brain plays!

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[Barebarian]

That's amazing Prawn XD

[Yanagi]

Now the REAL question, is did the princess take out insurance on HERSELF before running off with her dragon boyfriend?

See, if she buys it herself, that's shady but only somewhat alarming. If somebody else buys its, that's the beginning of a "Law and Order: Fantasy Kingdom" episode. Unless your adventurer team works insurance fraud.

When you really start to worry is when the princess starts taking out loans and investing heavily in derivative market for princess futures. I mean, when you're insider trading on how many princesses are disappearing per annum....

edit: That's who employs all the mid-level necromancers who are too basic to set up a dracula factory; insurance companies.

[Sigreid]

All you need is one princess and dinner will deliver itself on a semi regular basis for a while.

[SirGraystone]

Princess is promise by her father in marriage to an older man.
Dragon take human form and visit the castle.
Princess very unhappy to have to wed older man.
Dragon rescue Princess and takes her away.
Dragon and Princess fall in love and are happy together.

Enter the PCs who are send on a quest to rescue the Princess from the Dragon,
so the wedding can happen and bring peace between the two kingdoms.

[Particle_Man]

There is no princess. The princess was an illusion.

Spoiler

Show

There is no dragon. The dragon was also an illusion.

Spoiler

Show

The entire city where the players got this quest? Also an illusion.

Spoiler

Show

The mastermind was an illusionist who played a 'social experiment', scryed by their wizard friends.

Spoiler

Show

The party hath been punk'd.

Then go full David Lynch as the party realizes that they are the princess and dragon.

[Segev]

The dragon IS the man to whom the King negotiated his daughter's marriage, and whether the dragon tricked them about his species or not, the marriage is necessary for peace. The evil vizier (who wants the treaty to fail as part of his bid to depose the King and usurp the throne for himself) and a foolhardy but mostly goodhearted noble youth (who is crushing on the princess, and may have been her boyfriend before her arranged marriage) plead with the party to rescue her from the dragon, and leave out the "arranged marriage" part of it.

Whether the princess is against the arranged marriage and cooperates in the rescue, is resigned to the arranged marriage because she knew it would be her duty no matter what (and at least her husband turns into a hot guy for consumation), or has actually fallen for her husband (who has all the best gifts and actually works to make her happy), the party has some tricky choices. Actually, the first would be the trickiest, because "princess doesn't want to be married to her arranged husband, but the political rammifications of breaking the treaty are myriad and bad" is a decent plotline in and of itself. Still best if the dragon in question is not cruel to her, but nevertheless requires the marriage for the treaty.