The Order of the Stick: Utterly Dwarfed
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  1. - Top - End - #61
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    Default Re: Nulli Dei. Nulli Domini. [IC]

    Vauma blinked, shaking her head a little. She felt… it actually took a moment to figure out what, but eventually she connected the feeling with not being tired. It had been at least a decade since she'd felt that. Her reverie was cut short, however, by the knowledge that Baba Yaga was present. That took priority.

    She brushed herself off as best as she could, gave Mycetes a quick inspection, and proceeded to where Dharmesh was. Baba Yaga appeared to have set up a stand of some sort, selling… breaded meat. That was good; she must be here for her amusement- selling food at a spectacle that nobody could watch. Then, it was best to fit that role. She hadn't needed to eat for a while now, though, and when she had it was never at something like this. Her knowledge of civilization's customs was woefully inadequate, and neither the customs of the fey nor her borrowed architectural knowledge could help her here. That left her knowledge of religious practices. Fortunately, this would suffice. There were Vudrani sects that wished not to move on to the Outer Planes, but instead sought to integrate themselves at a spiritual level with the Material Plane, merging their being with the entirety of reality. It mirrored her own request perfectly. When it was polite to speak without interrupting, she said, "Make me one with everything."

    She looked at Mycetes. "He'll have one too, no onions."
    Last edited by QuidEst; 2019-09-04 at 10:22 PM.

  2. - Top - End - #62
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    Default Re: Nulli Dei. Nulli Domini. [IC]

    Upon receiving Dharmesh's message, Damien quickly heads over towards the psychic. He looks like he's going to ask the man a question but is distracted by the sight and smell of the sausage stand. "Food? Oh man, Dharmesh, you're the best! Fights always make me hungry," he turns to the woman and adds, "I'll take two... make that three, actually. With the works, but no mushrooms, had enough of those for one day." Returning his attention to Dharmesh, he finally asks the question he originally intended to, through a mouthful of sausage. "So, who's this Witch Queen you were talking about? I don't see any witches around here."

  3. - Top - End - #63
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    Default Re: Nulli Dei. Nulli Domini. [IC]

    Aiva emerges from the inside of the corpse, soaked to the skin in blood and having shed most of her armor and clothing. She stalks off through the streets, grinning like a lunatic at anyone who pays attention to her. Most of them quickly find something else to pay attention to.

    "I am selling hot dogs," Baba Yaga says to Dharmesh, her tone very patient, like she's talking to a slow child. "Obviously. Chicago style. Not that that means anything to you."

    As Vauma makes her request, the witch nods. "See, she gets it. Ten silver each, put it in the jar." She quickly pulls the sausages out, puts them in steamed buns, and starts stacking toppings on them until the actual sausages are almost completely hidden from sight. She continues to assemble hot dogs as the others purchase them, slinging the food so quickly and precisely that there's no question she's spent days doing this. Lots of them.

    The sausages are very good, and taste like beef, topped with mustard, onions, pickle, pickle relish, tomato wedges, pickled peppers, and celery salt. They have no magical qualities that can be detected.
    Please don't capitalize my name.

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  4. - Top - End - #64
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    Default Re: Nulli Dei. Nulli Domini. [IC]

    Realizing his mistake, Dharmesh gives a small smile. "I see, apologies for my foolishness. I would like a cider please." Placing the silver coins in the jar and accepting the cup, Dharmesh takes a small drink, wanting to savor it. Turning to Damien, he says,"The Witch Queen is the woman whom you just bought three sausages from Damien. This woman is the one and only Baba Yaga, one of the most powerful mortals in existence. I can tell you more later if you wish." He says all this without the faintest hint of exaggeration.

  5. - Top - End - #65
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    Default Re: Nulli Dei. Nulli Domini. [IC]

    Damien laughs through a mouthful of sausage, "One of the most powerful mortals in existence? Selling, what'd she call these, hot dogs?" Damien scoffs, "I think your mental shenanigans are starting to cause a bit of damage up there, Dharmesh. Clearly she's just a talented cook... oh, are you jealous? That must be it. Can't accept someone else is a good cook without unimaginable power." He smirks at Dharmesh, then turns to the hot dog vendor with his best winning smile. "Say, you wouldn't happen to be looking for more stable employment, would you? These are delicious and I'm always looking to add skilled cooks to my household staff. I pay well, and if you want to take a vacation I'll teleport you anywhere you want free of charge!"

  6. - Top - End - #66
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    Default Re: Nulli Dei. Nulli Domini. [IC]

    Ragnar is beginning to search the trail of devastation left behind by the kaiju for any wayward spirits of its victims, when the note of warning from Dharmesh distracts him. After a moment of reflection, he decides paying due respects to the Witch Queen is slightly more important than settling ghosts to rest who likely won't be going anywhere on short notice.

    Following Vauma's example, he purchased a 'hot dog' and cup of cider.
    Do you think it's made from real dog? Close to an outsider, Greta's speech is silent inside Ragnar's head rather than out loud/ His only answer is a raised eyebrow and a slight shake of the head - dog tasted quite different than beef - as did human, for that matter. What Baba Yaga's interest in this scene was beyond simply amusing herself remained unknown, though he did not doubt the crone would reveal her purpose when it suited her.
    Quote Originally Posted by Red Fel, on quest rewards View Post
    "Is a stack of ten pancakes too many pancakes to give to the party, even if most of them fell on the floor and one or two were stepped on? I wanted to give my party pancakes as a reward but I'm unsure if it's too much. The pancakes are also laced with blowfish poison so the party would have to get an antitoxin before they could eat the ones which weren't pulverized by shoes."

    I don't think anyone would want those pancakes even if you paid them to eat them.

  7. - Top - End - #67
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    Tolben stands at a distance. He heard Dharmesh's warning, and as his friends are all crowded around the Witch Queen he stands at a distance. His hands alternately clench and forcibly relax, the tension evident. He knows there is nothing he can do if she decides to harm them - a level of impotence he has not felt in years.

  8. - Top - End - #68
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    Default Re: Nulli Dei. Nulli Domini. [IC]

    "Teleport me anywhere I want," Baba Yaga repeats, sounding extremely disappointed with Damien. "You literally just signed off on a deal to teleport a stranger who might be the most powerful witch alive 'anywhere she wants' in trade for a sausage. Black gods, no wonder your parents were disappointed in your intellect. So tell me, how did the beasty taste? Did you savor its power as richly as your friends savored its heart and blood and breath? Was it worth what you paid?"
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  9. - Top - End - #69
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    Default Re: Nulli Dei. Nulli Domini. [IC]

    'Don't let her talk to the witch!'
    'Sting!'
    'Don't let her do it she'll get us all killed!'
    'I told you if you didn't behave yourself I'd—'
    'Insane! She's insane!'
    'I'm thirsty is what I am. Maybe I'll take a dip into—Uh huh. Thought so. Much better. Sorry about that; I should have guessed he just wanted to make trouble. But more importantly, did you say YAGA IS HERE?!

    Shovash's mental ties, it turns out, are also entirely too good at conveying shrieking excitement, and telepathy doesn't have the same limited range of pitches the ear can handle. Or volumes. Just moments later, a shadow passes overhead, circles around, and holds position as their companion dives straight out of the sun, braking only at the last second with a wingstall so hard it probably dislocates something. It definitely would have covered the entire hotdog cart in dust if the ground weren't still damp.

    "Yaga?!" She barely even gets her feet on the ground before she rushes forward, eyes unfocusing just long enough for a peek into the ether. The cart serves as a convenient way to keep her hands in place, and she digs her fingertips into the top edge. "OH MY G— Hah! Hah, well, no, not anymore right? But you know what I mean! [REDACTED], I mean, I haven't made nearly the headway into Varisia that I'd hoped to by now, but I always hoped I'd get to meet you some.... someday, when..."

    Shovash frowns, head tilting to one side in what might be the most unguarded display of confusion she'd shown in all the years the others had known her. "Wait. You're early. I was supposed to have another eight years to expand the border. And this is too far south."
    Last edited by Sepulchritude; 2019-09-05 at 05:59 PM.

  10. - Top - End - #70
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    Default Re: Nulli Dei. Nulli Domini. [IC]

    "Oh, it's the fun one!" Baba Yaga says as Shovash pulls a muscle landing in front of her. "I saw what you did with that ogre in Nerosyan. You remember, the one with the weasels and the tuning fork? Hilarious. You know, you remind me of me, a couple thousand years ago." She grins and slaps together a hot dog, passing it over without asking for money.

    "Oh, it's off my cyclce, I know," she continues after Shovash expresses confusion. "But exceptions are made for exceptional people. I couldn't miss watching you kill your first Primordial."
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  11. - Top - End - #71
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    Default Re: Nulli Dei. Nulli Domini. [IC]

    So much for unguarded. The ogre thing makes her stiffen as soon as it gets through the mental buzz of questions and stories and ideas that keep leaking into the group's bond from intensity alone. So basically, shortly after she takes the frank. "Ogre... thing... Wait, you don't mean when we..." She flicks a glance back at her companions before continuing.

    "I guess I'm glad to have a fan, even if I didn't know there was an audience, butOH THAT OGRE THING! Hahhhh, yeah, that was great. The look on its faces! I thought you meant when I m—" Shovash's over-eager explanation is abruptly cut off when a thin cloud of black smoke pours out of one sleeve and shoves the hot dog in her open mouth.

    "Mmmph! Gmmb!" She doesn't try to finish though, once she chews and swallows, just asks, "What is this and where do I get more?"
    Last edited by Sepulchritude; 2019-09-05 at 06:41 PM.

  12. - Top - End - #72
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    Default Re: Nulli Dei. Nulli Domini. [IC]

    Vauma placed her twenty silver in the jar, making sure to pay with twenty silver pieces rather than the equivalent two gold. She held out the onionless 'hot dog' to Mycetes, who gobbled it down despite having spent even longer not needing to eat than her. She took her time with hers, enjoying the taste. She wasn't sure if Baba Yaga was simply an exceptional cook, if she could taste better now, or if it was some combination of the two.

    "Thank you, that was excellent," she said simply, a little unsure how to handle the vendor role now that there was discussion of killing Primordials. "Damien, you should be more precise with your speech."

  13. - Top - End - #73
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    Default Re: Nulli Dei. Nulli Domini. [IC]

    Finally starting to clue in that perhaps not all is as it seems here, Damien mutters, "If you don't want the job just say so, no need to be mean..." then walks a few feet away, finishing his sausages quietly and handing the occasional bite of meat to Beatrice, who can be seen whispering in his ear.

  14. - Top - End - #74
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    Default Re: Nulli Dei. Nulli Domini. [IC]

    Finishing his drink, and reasonably confident that the Witch Queen was mostly here to amuse herself for the time being, Dharmesh will set the empty cup down. "I assure you Damien, it is not her cooking which I envy. Enjoy your... Hot Dog." Turning to Baba Yaga, he gives a slight bow, as is his custom. "Thank you Grandmother, for the refreshments. If you will excuse me, I have a promise to keep."
    Dharmesh begins to return to the assembled survivors to attempt to organize a more careful search of the ruins around them, once more weaving the magic about him to aid in the search.

    Spoiler
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    Once more activating lifesense and recasting telekinesis, perception check to dig people out final result is 77 due to acute senses augmentation. Charisma check to organize crowd into helping bears a final result of 19.

  15. - Top - End - #75
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    Default Re: Nulli Dei. Nulli Domini. [IC]

    "This is a hot dog. I can send the recipe to you if you want. Have fun with the sea monster?" Baba Yaga smiles, seemingly genuinely. "I hope you liked your snack. Trite but true, there's no time like your first time."
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  16. - Top - End - #76
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    Default Re: Nulli Dei. Nulli Domini. [IC]

    Shovash freezes in place just before her second bite, mouth already stretched open. It closes slowly without her apparent oversight, what with her being too busy staring a hole through the old woman's forehead. It's not the kind of glare that generally precedes a wise response, but it is at least tempered by clear wariness.

    "Funny thing—I used to think that, too," she eventually says. And thank whoever's left that her tone is mostly just cold, not venomous. Then she returns to that suspended bite with a particularly angry ferocity.

  17. - Top - End - #77
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    Default Re: Nulli Dei. Nulli Domini. [IC]

    Ragnar raises an eyebrow at the mention of Primordials - that was a term he didn't recognize, and would likely have to do study on later to investigate. Baba Yaga always said exactly what she meant to, and if she had used such a specific terminology, it was with a very specific intent. What her intent might be was a different matter.

    Greta, on the other hand, was excited enough by a completely different part of the comment, enough to override her normal caution. "Hey, she said 'first'! That means we're going to kill more of them! Do you think the next one will be even bigger?"

    He shakes his head again with a slightly sad smile before turning back to Baba Yaga. "With your leave, Grandmother, I would also return to my duties unless you have further wisdom to impart. Dharmesh will see to the living, and I must now police the dead."
    Quote Originally Posted by Red Fel, on quest rewards View Post
    "Is a stack of ten pancakes too many pancakes to give to the party, even if most of them fell on the floor and one or two were stepped on? I wanted to give my party pancakes as a reward but I'm unsure if it's too much. The pancakes are also laced with blowfish poison so the party would have to get an antitoxin before they could eat the ones which weren't pulverized by shoes."

    I don't think anyone would want those pancakes even if you paid them to eat them.

  18. - Top - End - #78
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    Default Re: Nulli Dei. Nulli Domini. [IC]

    Sensing a potential disaster, Tolben finally steps in. With a very precisely calculated movement, he grabs Shovash and shifts her behind him.

    "I - I would like to... to buy a hot dog!"

    His silver clatters loudly in the jar. Hands shaking, he nonetheless tries to pretend nothing is amiss.

    Spoiler: OOC
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    Reposition combat maneuver on Shovash, rolled in Discord. Result of 49 (natural 20).
    Last edited by Hjolnai; 2019-09-06 at 04:18 AM.

  19. - Top - End - #79
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    Default Re: Nulli Dei. Nulli Domini. [IC]

    Tolben meets no resistance to his intervention; Shovash appears to have successfully directed all her poor temper at the sausage, this time. She does whip her tail around his waist, and there's a brief tug in the middle of his attempt to order, but she turns out to just be catching herself from a stumble and immediately lets go. In fact, she takes the opportunity to walk a short distance off and examine some rubble, her enthusiasm lost in whatever that reaction was.

  20. - Top - End - #80
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    Default Re: Nulli Dei. Nulli Domini. [IC]

    Baba Yaga just smiles placidly as Shovash glares at her. "No one promised life would be gentle," she says, in the tone of a mother telling her child that fire always burns. "But I can promise you this. Getting even will feel better than the loss."

    She makes Tolben his hot dog, then nods slowly. "Well. I have to be on my way now, but I'll be watching. Tell your Mistress hello for me, Vauma. And do enjoy yourselves with the windy lady, dearies." She smiles again, and then she, along with the hot dog cart, vanishes with the flicker of a teleport spell.
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  21. - Top - End - #81
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    "I will do so," Vauma said, smiling and nodding her head respectfully. That had been very pleasant! Well, it would probably be a good idea to go save some more lives. She rummaged around in her pack, found a pearl, and then rolled it around in her hand for a moment before returning it to her pack. "C'mon, Mycetes. Let's find somewhere else that could use some water cleared out." Hmm. She was feeling a bit more lively now, she'd keep an eye out for Aiva.

    Spoiler: OOC
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    Pearl of Power to retrieve Control Water, and then go find somewhere particularly flooded to clear out with it. Unless she runs across Aiva first.

  22. - Top - End - #82
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    Default Re: Nulli Dei. Nulli Domini. [IC]

    Dharmesh and Ragnar make significant progress helping the worst off of the quick and the dead alike, while Vauma lowers the floodwaters in an impoverished district and has an encounter with Aiva the details of which are best left to the imagination.

    About fifteen minutes after the fighting is over, a messenger girl from the office of the Lord-Mayor finds the party and delivers a request for their presence at his office to formally receive the thanks of the city, very politely worded. Once there, the Mayor is effusive with his thanks, backing it up with several large pouches of finely cut gems from the city treasury - relatively little compared to the property damage you prevented, but then, there's enough property damage still having occurred that the treasury is probably going to be straining with repairs and caring for the injured and displaced. He also requests, as firmly as he dares (which is not very, admittedly), that you "do something about the giant lizard problem posthaste."

    That done, there seems to be little left to do in the city. The survivors are organized and have the search and rescue operations, as well as triage and treatment of the injured, well in hand. The dead left in the wake of the attack have been mostly laid to rest, in spirit if not in body, thanks to Ragnar. Baba Yaga has not reappeared, though Shovash finds a handwritten recipe for beef hot dogs in her pocket. It's written in Abyssal, and includes the phrase "he'll never see you coming" followed by a crossed-out heart at the end. It is also written in pink ink on purple paper. The meaning is not immediately clear.
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  23. - Top - End - #83
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    Default Re: Nulli Dei. Nulli Domini. [IC]

    "Hmh." The sound Shovash makes before slipping the note back into her pocket isn't quite a scoff. It tries, but she's clearly more cranky than actually scornful. She squints up at the sky above the eastern hills for a bit, shielding her eyes against the morning sun with one hand."You heard her. Windy lady. I'd have guessed an enormous acid rabbit, myself. Do you want to assume it was a useful warning? I know how to ruin a zephyr's day. We could be laying real plans." If the words are hopeful, her face is not. After another few seconds of thought, she grunts noncommittally and turns back to her allies.

    "I figure we'll all be preparing for something, so we should at least try to settle on what that is before we separate. Duplicate effort will hurt us."

  24. - Top - End - #84
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    Default Re: Nulli Dei. Nulli Domini. [IC]

    Damien snaps out of his sulking when Baba Yaga teleports away, looking down at his one remaining bite of hot dog mournfully. "Dammit, how am I supposed to get these again if she just teleports away!" He says, then sighs and stuffs it into his mouth, continuing, "Someone remind me to ask her for a recipe if we ever see her again, ok?"

  25. - Top - End - #85
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    Default Re: Nulli Dei. Nulli Domini. [IC]

    "She'll be in Irrisen in eight years, but there might be a war going on. Apparently the queens are stubborn, occasionally." Shovash shrugs. Most of her attention is on the blocky emerald she's twisting in its setting, on that one ring. "But why would you wait for her to get back, anyway? It's an orcish specialty in the first place, and she's more likely to bake you in a pie for asking than we are. Aha, there it is."

    An illusory model of some kind of palace, with onion domes on the towers and a jagged, detached chunk of stone for a base, comes into focus above the back of her hand. She reaches into a fold in her dress that couldn't have hidden a penknife and withdraws a three-foot-long tuning fork. "Tell you what. Come to Wyvernsting in three days and bring a scroll of sending. I'll be holding a feast, and you can have all the dog-sausage you can eat. Might even get the recipe out of Gukkar. But—hmm—that usually takes a drinking match, and he's part dwarf. I could do it, but you'll owe me for the replacement liver."

  26. - Top - End - #86
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    Default Re: Nulli Dei. Nulli Domini. [IC]

    Taking a moment to consider Shovash's words, Dharmesh will reply in a thoughtful tone. "Well, we do have a few things to research that she told us. I have never heard of primordials before or how they might differ from a normal elemental, nor do I know who or what the "windy lady" is. I do however know of a very comprehensive library in Axis that might have answers. If you have need of me in the next few days, I will likely be there. Tolben, would you care to help me seek out information? I can cover the cost of both of our entry."

    "If it pleases you all, you are welcome to visit my home in Vudra for any last minute preparation before the next attack, I am happy to play host to guests."

  27. - Top - End - #87
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    Default Re: Nulli Dei. Nulli Domini. [IC]

    Tolben sighs.

    "It seems I'm not going to get much of my own research done until this crisis is over. Very well, I will take a look inside this library - though I have little confidence in the sincerity of the Witch's warning."

    He turns to Damien.

    "One more thing. Damien, that was an unusually brutal death. I have to ask, are you okay?"

  28. - Top - End - #88
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    Default Re: Nulli Dei. Nulli Domini. [IC]

    Damien grins at Shovash, replying with a simple, "You know I'll be there." At Tolben's question, though, he pauses and actually thinks for a moment before answering, his tone more serious than is his custom. "I'm all right, yeah. It was strange, didn't feel quite the same as other times I've died. Maybe I just never got hit that hard before, I dunno." He shrugs and his grin returns, "Probably nothing, no point thinking about it anyways. I got better, and we squished the big ugly. Another one in a few days, anyone else excited?"

  29. - Top - End - #89
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    Default Re: Nulli Dei. Nulli Domini. [IC]

    Vauma returned some time later, meeting up with the group before people dispersed. "We have a name to look into," Vauma said. "I'll see what I can find about that. I'm happy accompany anyone else staying on the plane, as my research doesn't require a library, just rich soil."

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    Default Re: Nulli Dei. Nulli Domini. [IC]

    "Excited in more than one way, I'm sure," replies Shovash with an eye-roll that is, at least, more amused than annoyed. "All right, I have gathering and cooking to do. Mostly off-plane, unfortunately. Dharmesh, I'll be there three hours before, if I don't see you sooner. I'll have preparations to administer. Tolben, bring a few magic walls, won't you? There's no wind in a closed box." Finally, she gives a cheery wave and steps backward into the small cloud of smoke that appears as she vanishes.
    Last edited by Sepulchritude; 2019-09-09 at 11:23 PM.

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