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Thread: Jenna's List

  1. - Top - End - #1
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    ClericGirl

    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Location
    Earth

    Default Jenna's List

    A couple weeks ago, our table started up a 1950's-style dirty martini supernatural spy game based in part on the Delta Green rpg. In lieu of keeping a formal journal, we've decided to compile a list of the valuable life lessons learned by our characters--with as little context as possible.

    Without further ado, here is the list of things Detective Jenna Schwartz (no relation) and her co-workers are no longer allowed to do in Delta Green.

    Spoiler: Another List, Part 1
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    1. Not allowed to use a squad car to perform PIT maneuvers while a foreign national hangs out of the passenger window firing a sniper rifle.
    2. Especially if the other vehicle belongs to a state trooper.
    3. Even if said trooper is probably possessed by a "space fiend."
    4. A silver wyrmling is not a K9 unit.
    5. Not allowed to "smash the alien spaceship with a shovel."
    6. Not allowed to feed security guards' blatant racism in order to gain access to a secure location.
    7. Vampires do exist. So do werewolves. Atlantis does not.
    8. The Camarilla are not "delusional blood-cultist weirdos." (See #7.)
    9. Anemia does not grant me superpowers.
    10. Not allowed to engage trained attack hawks in aerial combat during a stealth mission.
    11. Telenovela marathons are not "free, in-house therapy."



    Last edited by AllHailthed4; 2019-09-23 at 12:16 AM.
    AKA the Caffeinated Caster

  2. - Top - End - #2
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    GnomeWizardGuy

    Join Date
    Jun 2019

    Default Re: Jenna's List

    Another table member here, with more items to add to the list. Some of these life lessons are more valuable than others.
    Will edit this list later as our super spies valiant heroes gang of bumbling fools(?) learn more lessons

    Spoiler: Part 2 of ?
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    12. Vending machines are easier gotten into than gotten out of.
    13. Real Texans put their thumbs in their belts.
    14. Real nurses don't leave the hospital while on duty.
    15. Silver wyrmlings, no matter their intelligence score, are not considered service animals and therefore are not allowed in the library.
    16. Not allowed to assume enemy bases are free of traps.
    17. If it's not in the library, we're out of luck.
    18. Not allowed to spoil telenovela endings before they've happened.
    19. Marsupial Man is only a comic book character.
    20. Not allowed Highly encouraged to tackle crime penguins on the street.

  3. - Top - End - #3
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    ClericGirl

    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Location
    Earth

    Default Re: Jenna's List

    The good news is the campaign is still going. The bad news is, as it turns out, large groups do not lend themselves to spy games. Thus, a couple of the spies were kidnapped by space pirates, picked up a crew in Tortuga the Rock of Brawl, and set out to plunder Wildspace. Fear not, however. Life lessons are still being learned, particularly by the crew of the Knight Errant.
    AKA the Caffeinated Caster

  4. - Top - End - #4
    Ogre in the Playground
    Join Date
    Nov 2010

    Default Re: Jenna's List

    I love a good genreblend

  5. - Top - End - #5
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    GnomeWizardGuy

    Join Date
    Jun 2019

    Default Gerald's List

    As stated before, a couple of our beloved bumbling spies were picked up and whisked away into a wild wacky wonderland of space piracy privateering. After acquiring a crew and stealing legally purchasing a ship, our protagonists have learned, or refused to learn, many more lessons.
    Without further ado...
    Spoiler: Part 1? 3?
    Show
    1. Not allowed to breed dire rats in cargo hold for free xp.
    2. If you value your skeleton in its current position (within your body) do not anger the mushrooms.
    3. Sometimes your life is worth more than a space laser.
    4. Disagreeing with your political views does not automatically change a creature's type to "monstrosity."
    5. 2" diameter rocks, regardless of whether they are orbiting anything, are not planets.
    6. Neither are they dwarf planets.
    7. Or planetesimals.
    8. Not allowed to attach said rocks to the bottom of hull with space glue and claim to be a sovereign nation establishing territory on a previously unclaimed asteroid.
    9. Even if we were a sovereign nation, the evil space elf police are not obligated to work for us.
    10. Also not allowed to tax other nations for approaching/entering our "borders."
    11. Placing several rocks in orbit around our ship does not make our air bubble a solar system, nor does it make our ship a planet with moons.
    12. Jedi is copyrighted. She's a Space Knight.
    13. Spelljammers are just holes in space that you pour money into.

  6. - Top - End - #6
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    ClericGirl

    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Location
    Earth

    Default Re: Gerald's List

    Spoiler: Part Pineapple
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    14. With regard to #3, not allowed to jeopardize a rescue mission in order to steal an animated rail gun. Even if we are bloody pirates!
    15. Online piracy only applies to digital entities. Therefore, we cannot download the grey elf prison base.
    16. Appropirate discipline for a rogue who fails a stealth check does not include allowing the grey elves to turn him into a slavering plant zombie.
    17. Context has no place on this list. However, it should be applied when explaining the above situation to fellow crewmembers.
    18. No longer allowed to charter a ship to "so-called Blood Space" without first succeeding on a history check.
    19. Not allowed to bark at crows... even if they bark back!
    20. Not allowed to assume that a starving werewolf will ignore the food conveniently crossing its lair.
    21. Accepting a job that involves traveling to a long-abandoned city overrun by monstrosities that will almost certainly kill us all now requires a two-thirds majority vote.
    Last edited by AllHailthed4; 2019-10-15 at 03:11 PM.
    AKA the Caffeinated Caster

  7. - Top - End - #7
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    ClericGirl

    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Location
    Earth

    Default Re: Jenna's List

    Spoiler: Part Lime
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    22. Not allowed to challenge fellow crew members to a duel for the affection of the bishie NPC. This especially applies to the co-captains.
    23. The spell's proper name is "Leomund's Tiny Hut," not "Love Shack, Baby."
    24. Future applications for the position of ship's medic will include an inquiry into the applicant's tendency toward hemophobia.
    25. Telenovelas are not a legitimate source of dating advice.
    26. There are[n't] better uses for "bountiful luck" than playing someone's wing-woman.
    27. At no time should there be two blood-starved beasts between the tank and the warlock.
    Last edited by AllHailthed4; Yesterday at 05:07 PM.
    AKA the Caffeinated Caster

  8. - Top - End - #8
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    GnomeWizardGuy

    Join Date
    Jun 2019

    Default Re: Gerald's List

    Spoiler: Part Kiwi?
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    28. Always keep a good store of fresh water (and alcohol, if it can be managed) around, as you never know when we'll need it.
    29. However, this water is not to be used as a means to convince the aforementioned bishie NPC(s) to run away and become space pirates.
    30. Also, not allowed to let said NPC distract us from the active threat in front of us, no matter the strength of the gravitational field created by them.
    31. Not allowed to let the ship's medic get out of sight while in an abandoned city.
    32. Not allowed to shout "**** the church" in a town where the church owns everything.
    33. Not allowed to walk within arms' reach of the legless zombies. Cantrips exist for a reason. Come on, guys, they can't even move.
    34. If one crewmember has obvious affection for another, and the recipient of that affection is somehow unaware of it, it is best to resolve the issue before alcohol becomes involved.
    35. While a high-velocity tungsten rod will solve most problems, it tends to create more problems than it solves, especially when the impact site is quite near to a populated city. (It should be noted that this is a note for the future, not a lesson learned.)

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