Favorite Quotes

[The Great Skenardo]

"Where is the Wisdom of one who only Quotes the Wise?" - Maboroshi

[Cruxador]

Also, some demotivators:

"If you're not a part of the solution,there's good money to be made in prolonging the problem."

"If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate"

"Leaders are like eagles. We don't have either of them here."

"Leaders are like Eagles. It's Illegal to shoot them, but people do it anyway"

"Some people are like slinkies, not really good for anything, but you can't help but smile when you see them fall down stairs"

"Jesus loves you. Statistically, someone had to."

[evisiron]

"It's a Trap!"
-Admiral Ackbar

I have lived my life on this principle

[darkmars20]

"When the rich rage war it's the poor who die" linkin park With Hands Held High

[Vella_Malachite]

"Of all the heroes favoured by the gods, I hate him the most" - Agamemnon, Troy.

"Immortality. Take it. It's yours." - Achilles, Troy.

And from an e-mail my dad got:

"Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have."

"Anyone here who believes in psychokinesis, raise my hand."

"Think of it this way. If the world didn't suck, we'd fall off."

From a parody of X-men me and a friend wrote:

"Scientific purposes only." - a random kid

"JEAN!! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE DRIVING THE FR**GING JET!!!"

[Dhavaer]

"I know nothing of your afterlife. I know nothing of your gods, or their greed for glory. But I know this. In days to come, widows shall curse me as they weep. Fields shall go to seed. Sons and daughters shall be sold into slavery. Fathers shall die desolate, knowing that their line is extinct. This night, I shall carve my mark into Nansurium, and thousands shall cry out for want of my mercy!"

Cnaiur urs-Skiotha, Most Violent of All Men

[Serpentine]

"The difference between me and the Surrealists is that I am a Surrealist." ~ Salvador Dali.
Not really a quote, but "Young Virgin Auto-Sodomised By Her Own Chastity" has to be the greatest name for a painting ever.

[The Orange Zergling]

Those who seek perfection will find no rest this side of the grave. - Some Imperial Guy in Dawn of War.

[Balathustrius]

"All men dream but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes to make it possible."

-T.E. Lawrence

"Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. "

-Goethe

"Hungry, violent, lonely, godless: thus the lion-will wants itself. Free from the happiness of slaves, redeemed from gods and adorations, fearless and fear-inspiring, great and lonely: such is the will of the truthful. ... He divines remedies against injuries; he knows how to turn serious accidents to his own advantage; whatever does not kill him makes him stronger."

-Nietzsche

"Believe nothing you hear, and only half of what you see. "

-Mark Twain



"Any sufficiently advanced stupidity is indistinguishable from malice."

-David Harmon


"A hundred thousand lemmings can't be wrong."

- Anonymous

"Those who are easily offended should be. And often."

-G. Barnett

"I hate quotations. Tell me what you know. "

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Cheers.

[KazilDarkeye]

I have quite a few one-liners that I quite liked:

"Duct tape is like The Force; there's a light side and dark side, and it holds the universe together"

"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines"

"If pro is the opposite of con, and progress is moving forward, the what is Congress?"


Or something from Yu-Gi-Oh The Abridged Series
1) "My voice gives me super strength!"
2) "Watch out Pegasus; Florence is coming"
3) "Attention Duelists! You guys are not duelsists!"
4) "It's time to duel - in America!"

[Naihal]

"When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300 C. The Russians solved the problem by using pencils. Your taxes are due again soon. Enjoy the privilege of paying them."

"The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a Courthouse is that you cannot post "Thou Shall Not Steal," "Thou Shall Not Commit Adultery" and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment."

[Tarnag40k]

"SPARTA!"

as my friend steve once said in Algebra II "I wish they could make a car run off from virginity, then I'd never have to buy gas"

Mikey- "oh great here come the under freshmen"

Austin (while playing Imperial Gaurd in war hammer 40K against some khorne berserker's) " I believe in the tactical advice of the French, to sometimes win a battle you must charge in and take the land"

P.J. "if you ever find yourself having a boring day, just add with extra cheese at the end of everything, if they don't throw you into the crazy farm, it'll at least make things seem more fun."

Chris "freshman" while playing airsoft - "Dude look at me! I've got half a set of camo, beat up boots, no tact gear, a paratrooper AkKwith a broken stock, and a black ski mask! I look like a friggin terrorist, I swear theres an FBI sniper sitting in a tree going, "HQ, we have contact..."

oh and, HI SCORPINA

[Scorpina]

oh and, HI SCORPINA

Um... hi? Or was that a quote?

*blink*

[Tarnag40k]

^nope just saying hi to someone who was around when I was last active that I thought that had disappeared

remember I'm the one that was getting annoyed when you were convinced you looked like man despite about 5 different guys saying that you don't in any way.

[Scorpina]

...heh, that description fits a lot of people. My jaw and self-esteem double act seems to upset people.

I've been languishing down in SMBG lately, though.

It's nice to come up for air...

[Tarnag40k]

Yes breathe more often, we wouldn't want you to suffocate would we?

[Leicontis]

I've got pages...

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"Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says differently is selling
something."
--Westley, The Princess Bride

"We're all mad here."
--The Cheshire Cat, Alice in Wonderland

"Don't worry over what other people are thinking about you. They're too
busy worrying over what you are thinking about them."

"Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left."

"When some people discover the truth, they just can't understand why
everybody isn't eager to hear it."

Philosophy, n:
Unintelligible answers to insoluble problems.

"Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat."
-- John Lehman, Secretary of the Navy, 1981-1987

"The point is, you see, that there is no point in driving yourself mad
trying to stop yourself going mad. You might just as well give in and
save your sanity for later."
--Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe, and Everything


Painting, n:
The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and
exposing them to the critic.
-- Ambrose Bierce

Computer, n.:
An electronic entity which performs sequences of useful steps in a
totally understandable, rigorously logical manner. If you believe
this, see me about a bridge I have for sale in Manhattan.

Be nice to people on the way up, because you'll meet them on your way
down.
-- Wilson Mizner

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Two men are in a hot-air balloon. Soon, they find themselves lost in a
canyon somewhere. One of the three men says, "I've got an idea. We can
call for help in this canyon and the echo will carry our voices to the
end of the canyon. Someone's bound to hear us by then!"
So he leans over the basket and screams out, "Helllloooooo! Where
are we?" (They hear the echo several times).
Fifteen minutes later, they hear this echoing voice: "Helllloooooo!
You're lost!"
The shouter comments, "That must have been a mathematician."
Puzzled, his friend asks, "Why do you say that?"
"For three reasons. First, he took a long time to answer, second,
he was absolutely correct, and third, his answer was absolutely
useless."



Every absurdity has a champion who will defend it.



"What is the Nature of God?"

CLICK...CLICK...WHIRRR...CLICK...=BEEP!=
1 QT. SOUR CREAM
1 TSP. SAUERKRAUT
1/2 CUT CHIVES.
STIR AND SPRINKLE WITH BACON BITS.

"I've just GOT to start labeling my software..."
-- Bloom County



Only fools are quoted.
-- Anonymous

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An American's a person who isn't afraid to criticize the president but is always polite to traffic cops.


Love isn't only blind, it's also deaf, dumb, and stupid.


"Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like
`Psychic Wins Lottery.'"
-- Comedian Jay Leno


Take Care of the Molehills, and the Mountains Will Take Care of
Themselves.
-- Motto of the Federal Civil Service

In Germany they first came for the Communists and I didn't speak up
because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't
speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came
for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then
they came for me -- and by that time no one was left to speak up.
-- Pastor Martin Niemoller


Nitwit ideas are for emergencies. You use them when you've got nothing
else to try. If they work, they go in the Book. Otherwise you follow
the Book, which is largely a collection of nitwit ideas that worked.
-- Larry Niven, "The Mote in God's Eye"


"Some of our friends are for it. Some of our friends are against
it. And we're standing with our friends."
- Mike McCurry, White House press secretary, discussing
whether or not President Clinton would veto a bill


Pete: "Watch that. It'll do tricks when you're not looking."
Kevin: "But if it will only do tricks while I'm not looking, why should I
watch it?"
Pete: "Make it think you're not looking."
Jessi: "Yes, Kevin, try to outsmart the Coke bottle!"


John: "I'm very proud of myself for being the first one to laugh at
that."
Jessi: "That's going on the quotes page!"
Kevin: "I love it-John says something and everyone rushes for computers."
Jessi: "That's going on the quotes page!"


"Pointers suck, and that's why everyone should switch to Java."
-a TA from a C++ course


Consiousness is the ability to make and carry out a decision that you know
is incorrect.


"Infinity is zebra-striped!"
-He'd probably prefer I didn't quote him


Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggie" until you can find a rock.
-- Wynn Catlin


"If you ever want to know more than you ever wanted to know about
bacteria, read this lab."

"Love is the highest achievement to which any human may aspire. It is an
emotion that encompasses the full depth of heart, mind, and soul."

[GolemsVoice]

There are two things I believe are infinte. Human stupidity and the universe. But I'm not sure about the universe.

Some people do have a horizon with the radius 0. They call this their point of view.
-Both from Albert Einstein.

A mind without purpose will walk in dark places.
-From the cover of the Ravenor novels (W40K)

War is peace
Freedom is slavery
Ignorance is strength
-Form 1984 by George Orwell

He who makes a beast of himself
gets rid of the pain of being a man.
-Unknown

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
-The Spanish Inquisition

[MountainKing]

He who makes a beast of himself
gets rid of the pain of being a man.
-Unknown

I'm not sure that that's the actual origin of the quote, but at the least it is referenced in the song Beast and the Harlot by Avenged Sevenfold.

My favorites change depending on the situation, but right now, they are:

1.) "Hail to the King, baby." - Ashe, Army of Darkness
2.) "It's just a wee lil bunny eh?!" - The Sorcerer named Tim, Monty Python and the Holy Grail
3.) "I can arrange that! You could use a good kiss!" - Han Solo, The Empire Strikes Back

[Xaspian]

"Only two things are infinite - The universe, and human stupidity. And I'm not so sure about the universe"
~Albert Einstein

"No more things should be presumed to exist than are absolutely necessary" - William of Occam

"Either that wallpaper goes, or I do" - Oscar Wilde's last words

"From now on, I'll bend what I want, when I want, who I want." - Bender, Futurama

"Well, I'm back" - Sam Gamgee, The Lord of the Rings. (Last line)

"May the way of the Hero lead to the Triforce" - The Maidens of Light, The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past

That's all for now...

[The Great Skenardo]

The Cake is a LIE
The Cake is a LIE
The Cake is a LIE
The Cake is a LIE
The Cake is a LIE
~ Anonymous Benefactor

[topher]

I am a great and terrible being beyond the comprehension of the human mind. I am a god, and to those who do not worship me I am an angry god. --Onslaught

Woe to the conquered, I have found the heart of darkness. -- Raziel

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. -- Verbal Kint

There are also two in my sig. The first is from Life of Brian, and the second is from MTG.

[Grug]

I picked this one to be my senior quote:

"Hail, stranger! No need to kneel, for I am a comman man as you; except with a crown." -Lothar of the Mound People, Dungeon Runners.

[smart thog]

Known Quotees

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"Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you have it, you don't." (Yes I know I am a dude, but it works)
- Margaret Thatcher

"upon my death, I desire to go to hell and not heaven. For the latter, I will meet beggars, peasants, and children. In the former I will see Kings, generals, and popes."
-Machiavelli

"How did you turn pizza into matza!!"

-Me, 5 minutes before this post

"But Earl, Karma doesn't have fists." "Your right, Randy. Karma doesn't have fists." "Or feet. Does Karma have feet?" "Karma used me to do its dirty work. Nice job karma"

- Randy and Earl Hickey, My name is Earl

"To fight with a fool, is to fight on their level."

- the sage, Groo the wander

"To err is human. To forgive is canine."

- me again


"If I only did stuff I thought I had a change of doing, I'd never do anything."

- Elan the bard

Unknown Quotees

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"Having failed to conquer myself, I can only hope for a alliance

"Ghost stories are no more written for ghosts, then science fiction stories are written for scientists."

" Fashion is something so hideous, that we must change it every six months."

[Sisqui]

It is one thing to regret not having more time to live and another thing entirely to regret not living what time you had.

[The Bushranger]

"An eagle is nothing more than a vulture with a press agent." (don't remember where I saw this one)

"I've never yet seen a semicolon that could be trusted." - Patrick F. McManus

[Icewalker]

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
-The Spanish Inquisition

In this day and age, everybody expects the Spanish Inquisition.



Time for MORE Firefly. These are all from the 14th episode, and last one made: Objects in Space.

"You oughta be shot. Or stabbed. Lose a leg. To be a surgeon, you know? Know what kind of pain you're dealing with. They make psychiatrists get psychoanalyzed before they can get certified, but they don't make a surgeon get cut on. That seem right to you?" -Jubal Early, Firefly

"This is her room. Its empty. So is it still her room when its empty? Does the room, the thing, have purpose?" -Jubal Early

"So you're a bounty hunter."
"No, that ain't it at all."
"Then what are you?"
"I'm a bounty hunter." -Simon Tam and Jubal Early

"People don't appreciate the substance of things. Objects in space. People miss out on what's solid." -Jubal Early

"With the exception of one deadly and unpredictable midget this girl is the smallest cargo I've ever had to transport, but by far the most troublesome. That seem right to you?"
"What'd he do?...The midget?"
"Arson. Little man loved fire." -Jubal Early and Simon Tam

"He's faster than you. All of you. And he's wearing armor."
"What about his face? Is his face wearing armor?" -River Tam and Wash

"This is really not my area of expertise, doctor. I tend to be putting these into people, more than the other thing." -Zoe, removing a bullet from Simon's leg

"I just feel like such a fool."
"Yeah, all those years of priest training and you get taken out by one bounty hunter." -Shepard Book and Jayne Cobb

[Darkantra]

Ah, you missed one of the best ones!

"Are you Alliance?"
"Am I a lion?"
"What?"
"I don't think of myself as a lion. You may as well, though. I have a mighty roar."
"I said "Alliance".
"Oh. I thought --"
"No, I was..."
"That's weird."

[smart thog]

More unknown quotees

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A political campaign is a lot like a steer. A point here, a point here, and a lot of bull in between.

You know the world is in danger when it takes 2000 laws to enforce the ten commandments.

The problem with organized religion is that it is organized.

The more I study religion, the more I realize that man has never worshiped anything but himself.

Anything that doesn't kill you will still hurt.

-Me

[smart thog]

This is for a homemade list, and I thought everyone would like to see them

"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere" - Martian Luther king Jr.

"A little work with your brain can save you a lot of work with your body"

"gossip is the art of saying nothing in a way that leaves nothing unsaid"

"Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun" Mow Tse Tung

"Revenge is a dish best not served at all" -Me

"Nonviolence never solved anything"- Mr. Burns